Memories
Disclaimer: Dear Santa, for Christmas I would like to own Harry Potter. What! That's not possible? B-b-but you're Santa! You've betrayed me! D: You should be ashamed of yourself, sir! *turns back on you and walks away in a huff*
Uh.. Anyway. Don't own. (Thanks, Santa.)
Author's Note: Just so know, I'm American, so I'm calling Santa by that—Santa. I don't know what you guys call him in other countries (Father Christmas, St. Nick, etc.) but I'm sticking to Santa. :D …For the three times I mention him…
Chapter Three: Holidays
Teddy loved the holidays.
Who doesn't love cookies, presents, and Santa? Unless you were the Grinch, like that one green fellow in the book Uncle Harry read to him a couple of days ago.
The lights people often hung around their houses and the decorated Christmas trees were also a favorite of the four year old around this time of year. He loved to put ornaments on the tree, something he did at his house with Gran and then again with Uncle Harry.
Gran and he always baked special Christmas treats to take to the Weasley's every year. The Weasley's held a Christmas party every year that they were always invited to. Teddy loved going there; loved being surrounded by all the Weasley's, Gran, and Uncle Harry. It was almost as if his family was complete.
Except it wasn't.
The biggest downer of the holidays was the fact that Teddy had no real family besides Gran and Uncle Harry. The Weasley's aren't even his family; just people who were like family to Uncle Harry.
Despite all the joy Christmas was supposed to bring, nothing could fill the hole in his heart where his family should be—two specific people in particular: his mum and dad.
The four year old couldn't help but be sad when he thought about his dead parents. They should be here, he kept telling himself, and they should be here to share the holidays with him.
But they weren't and never would be.
It was that thought that really depressed Teddy in the midst of the Weasley's annual Christmas party. So far, he had been doing well. He stuck close to his godfather, as he had been prone to do lately, but still mingled with all the guests. He'd been having so much fun with everyone.
Now, though, he sat in an arm chair of the living room, alone.
Everyone else was doing their own thing: George entertaining everyone with his jokes; Gran, Molly, and Arthur talking together, probably talking about grown up things Teddy didn't care about; Ron and Hermione sucking each other's faces off under some green thing in the door way; Charlie and Percy sending looks at them and smirking; Bill and Fleur playing with their two year old daughter, Victoire; and Ginny and Uncle Harry talking quietly to themselves on the love seat.
Uncle Harry spent lots of time with Ginny lately. They acted kind of like Ron and Hermione sometimes, all googly eyed and lovey dovey. But they never took each other's faces off like Ron and Hermione did—or, they didn't do it in front of Teddy at least.
No one seemed to notice that Teddy was by himself. Nobody seemed to care.
Well, if they don't care, why stay? Teddy asked himself sadly. Why stay somewhere no one wanted him? He could go have a better time somewhere on his own!
With that thought, the four year old quietly slipped off his chair and out the back door. If anyone was to notice him, he'd be long gone.
Harry never was one for the holidays. He knew what they were about and what they should be like, but he never had a real holiday until he was eleven and staying at Hogwarts. Even then it wasn't exactly a real holiday, but it was the best he'd ever had.
Now that Voldemort was gone and nearly all his Death Eater minions had been captured and imprisoned in Azkaban, the holidays were getting better and better when surrounded by the Weasley's. They were the only real family he had now. They weren't really his family, not legally, but he belonged with them.
And if his relationship with his girlfriend Ginny was anything to go by, he'd soon enough be in the family for real—by marriage.
The technical terms didn't matter to him though—even if he didn't marry Ginny, the Weasley's would always be his unofficial adopted family.
"Harry?"
Ginny's voice broke through Harry's train of thought, and he blinked at her. "Hmm?"
"What has you so distracted?"
"What? Oh, nothing. Just thinking."
Ginny gave him a wry grin. "I noticed, love. What's on your mind?"
He shrugged. "It's the holidays."
"Ah," Ginny nodded, "of course. I should have known. You get this way around the holidays."
"I can't help it," Harry replied. "I just feel so… empty around this time. It's always been this way since I was young. It's gotten better being surrounded by everyone who loves me, my family. But the emptiness is still there."
Ginny nodded, leaning closer to him and kissing him on the cheek. "You know what I think?"
"What?"
"I think you and a certain four year old are having the same feelings tonight. And neither of you know what to do about it."
"Teddy?" Harry asked, surprised for a moment, but then it hit him. Of course, he thought. How could he forget? Teddy had been so happy and full of Christmas passion that he didn't think it was possible for him to be depressed by the fact his parents weren't here.
But how naïve could a godfather get? Of course he was going to remember that the two people he really wants here aren't physically with him. In fact, Harry had even prepared himself for the possibility this would happen. But he got caught up in the celebration that he didn't even think to be watching Teddy for signs of distress.
Stupid, he berated himself. What kind of godfather is he?
"Where is he?" Harry asked, looking around wildly for any sign of the four year old.
Ginny pointed over her shoulder with her thumb. "In a chair by himself. He's been there for about ten minutes now, looking like a puppy that's just been kicked. I thought you noticed, but obviously you didn't."
Harry looked where she was pointing, but only saw an empty chair. "He's not there."
Ginny's eyes widened in surprise and she spun around in her seat. "Where did he go? He was just there a moment ago!" she asked shrilly, worry creeping into her voice.
"Relax, Gin," Harry soothed, reaching out and squeezing her knee. "He's probably just in the kitchen."
"No child who looked that sad would just go into the kitchen, Harry," Ginny disagreed. "I don't think he's in the house anymore."
Harry's brows furrowed. "What makes you think that?"
"Because, Harry! I know. Call it woman's intuition or whatever you want, but I just know."
Harry nodded. "I'll check the kitchen. He can't have gotten far."
With that, Harry left the room in search of a certain emotionally hurt four year old. He checked the kitchen first, ducking his head in and calling a soft, "Teddy?" to no answer. He swept the room but found no sign on him. Thinking he might have moved over towards his grandmother for comfort, but found her Teddy-less.
"Andromeda," he called and walked over to her. Her conversation with Molly and Arthur took a pause, and all three of them looked up at Harry with curiosity.
"Yes, Harry?"
"Have you seen Teddy?"
"Teddy?" she repeated, brows furrowing. "I thought he was playing with everyone else."
"So did I, but Ginny brought it to my attention that he had been alone for some time and now I can't find him."
"Alone?" Molly repeated. "As in by himself? At a holiday party?"
Harry nodded.
"Oh no," she and Andromeda groaned together. Molly went on, "That poor boy shouldn't be left alone. Not at this age when his emotions are so high and he can become so lonely."
"He'll start to get thinking and then become sad," Arthur realized what Molly was getting at. "And then he'll become even more depressed because he's enduring this alone—"
"—And then gives us the slip when we're not looking—" Molly cut him off, reminded Harry of how Fred and George used to be.
"—To see if anyone cares enough to find him," Harry finished. "Of course."
"We have to find him," Andromeda said, her voice laced with worry for her grandson. "Who knows how long he's been gone? He could be frozen over by now."
"It hasn't been that long, I'm sure," Molly assured her.
"Harry," Arthur said, "You're probably the only one who knows what he's feeling right now. If you were Teddy and feeling extremely lonely, where would you go?"
Harry pursed his lips, thinking. If he were four years old and missing his parents at the burrow, where would he go?
Well, Teddy always did share his like for flying. He once shared how he felt free up in the air, much like how Harry feels.
Maybe—? But it was too easy…
"Your old broom shed still has the old brooms in it, doesn't it?" Harry asked both Weasley parents. They both nodded in reply.
Of course. "I'll be back."
With that short message, he was off into the snowy night, running straight for the broom shed. He got there in a matter of minutes, longer than it would probably take him on a regular and less snow-filled night.
He opened the door, expecting to see a pile of brooms with one missing, but he did not expect to see the one he was looking for huddled up next to them.
Well, at least it made his search easier.
"Teddy bear," Harry greeted softly, crouching down to the boy's level. "There you are."
Teddy didn't respond, only sniffled. Tell tale tears were rolling down his cheeks. "Oh, squirt," Harry said, holding his arms out invitingly, "Come here."
Teddy didn't need to be told twice.
"I-I was f-feeling so s-s-sad! An-and-and I didn't think anybody w-w-would care if I l-left!" he stuttered as he flung himself into his godfather's strong arms. Harry just gathered him close, hugging him tightly, letting his poor heart beat go back to its regular rate.
"I know," Harry soothed. "Let's get you inside and then we'll talk, alright?"
"Am I in trouble?" he ventured softly. Teddy was a good boy and rarely got into to trouble. Being in trouble was a rare concept to him, and he didn't like it.
Luckily, though, Harry shook his head. "No, squirt. It's okay and you aren't in any trouble."
His godson sighed in relief, laying his head on Harry's shoulder as he was carried back into the burrow. As they entered, Andromeda made to leave her spot across the room and give her grandson the hug he so richly needed, but Harry shook his head at her. "Give us a few," he mouthed and left to go upstairs without another word.
Harry walked all the way up to Ron's old room, the attic, a place where he knew they could talk in complete privacy. Besides, he felt a little awkward using any other Weasley's room. At least he's slept in this room before.
He sat on Ron's old bed, resting his back against the headboard, and pulled Teddy to sit on his lap. Tears were still running down his face, but he was sniffling less and less.
"It's hard, isn't it? The holidays."
Teddy nodded.
"It's hard because they aren't here with you and you're completely alone. Am I right?"
Eyes wide, Teddy nodded again. Harry could tell he was hitting it right on the dot. He should; after all, he's gone through this too.
"But here's the thing, Teddy bear: you aren't alone. You've got Gran, the Weasley's, and especially me. You've got to remember I went through this too. I know exactly what you feel like."
Teddy sniffed. "But it's not the same! You have all the W-Weasley's! I don't!"
"What do you mean, you don't? They love you just as much as they love me."
"But you're their family! I'm not!"
Harry shook his head. "No, squirt, I'm not."
"Y-you're not?" Teddy asked in shock, eyes widened even more. "B-b-but… yes, you are!"
"No, I'm not. Not technically. I'm not related to them by blood or even marriage."
"B-b-but—they love you."
"They do," Harry agreed, nodding.
"And that makes you family."
"Does it?"
Teddy's brow furrowed. "It should! You always tell me love is the best thing you can give somebody and that's what families give each other!"
"Indeed. And the Weasley's love me, don't they?"
"Yeah," Teddy replied hesitantly, not knowing where his godfather was going with this.
"So does that make them my family?"
"Yeah!"
"Ah, but Teddy," he leaned in close to Teddy's ear and whispered, "they love you as well."
If it was possible, Teddy's eyes widened even more—so much Harry feared they would pop right out of his head—and his jaw dropped, as if this piece of information was something new to him.
"They do?"
"Of course they do. They've loved you ever since they met you. See, the Weasley's are a loving kind of lot. They loved both your parents, and treated them like family too. So why would you be left out?"
"But.. we're not related."
"I'm not related to them either."
And, just like that, it was as if a light bulb went off over Teddy's head. All of a sudden, he understood. "So… they really are my family?"
"Of course. Just like I'm your family and your Gran is your family."
"Oh," was all Teddy could say.
"So you see, squirt, you aren't alone. I know your parents aren't here, but you still have family. Besides," Harry said, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a familiar type of vial, "your parents might not be here in this room, but we can always see them."
As Harry hoped, Teddy's eyes lit up when he saw the vial containing one of his parent's memories. Enlarging the Pensieve he had shrunken to fit in his pocket earlier that day, Harry poured the contents into the bowl.
This time Harry deliberately chose one of Remus' memories. They've watch two of Tonks' so far; it was time for one of Remus'. He chose a childhood memory of Remus, one before he was bitten by Greyback. At four years old, Teddy didn't know about his dad's werewolf status yet. Both Andromeda and Harry decided to wait until he was older to tell him that.
It wasn't that they thought he would despise his dad for what he was; quite the contrary—they suspected he'd think it was absolutely brilliant, but considering he was only four years old it just wasn't time.
In this memory, the two found themselves in a very small house. In the house was a family of three sitting in front of a Christmas tree that took up most of the space of the living area of their home. There wasn't much under the tree, but it was enough for the child that looked about three years old, whose eyes were brighter than the stars on a dark night.
"Is that Daddy?" Teddy asked softly in Harry's arms, head upon his shoulder. He almost looked as if he wanted to put his thumb in his mouth, a habit that had been very hard to break him out of but still doable with loads of effort.
Harry nodded. "Yes, that's your father."
"He's so… tiny."
Squinting at the memory version of Remus, Harry did have to admit he looked a bit small for his age. Or smaller than Teddy was at that age, at least. "Yeah, I reckon he is."
"Was he always small?"
"No, he was an average size."
"What's that?"
"Average?" Harry asked, to which Teddy nodded. "It means 'normal'."
They watched as the memory played out a scene of Christmas cheer between a small family. Remus, being the child, received more gifts than his two parents, but he didn't receive much. He didn't seem to mind; in fact, Remus seemed pretty content just to be there with his parents.
Neither of Remus' parents talked, they only watched as their only son opened up his gifts gleefully.
Before either Teddy or Harry realized what happened, the memory evaporated around them and they were spit back out into reality.
"That's it?" Teddy cried, put out. "I want to see more!"
Harry agreed; why give a memory that only lasted about thirty seconds? He might as well have just left him a picture. But, seeing as Remus had only been three at the time, it was a wonder he could remember as much as he did.
Besides, the memory wasn't the important thing he wanted to show Teddy today. The important thing he wanted Teddy to get out of this was that his parents may be gone, but he still had family who loved him. He wanted him to do like Remus did in his memory: forget all the technicalities and have a good holiday. (Even though their technicalities were very different from each other.)
"Unca Harry!" Teddy exclaimed angrily. "I want more!"
"I know, squirt, but it's the only one I brought." Teddy opened his mouth to say something, but Harry cut over him, "I know it was short, but listen. Did you see how happy you dad was there? With his mum and dad? He had a small family and was having the time of his life." Harry tapped Teddy's nose fondly. "And you have your own big family waiting for you downstairs. Do what your dad did and just have fun. Okay?"
Teddy sniffed a small grin. "Yeah. Okay!"
"Go on, squirt," Harry said, following his godson out of the room and down the steps.
And maybe, just maybe, this holiday would end with both a content Teddy and a content Harry.
Because, after all, they were both surrounded by family.
A/N: Merry Christmas! The ending was rushed (as you've probably been able to tell) because I really wanted to finish this before I ended up procrastinating on it for a week. I know this has very little Remus and very little memory scene, but this chapter wasn't really about the memory. Next chapter will hopefully be about Remus and have a better memory in it! If the next chapter is not one of Remus' memories, the one after that will be! I want to make sure I get both parents in, after all! :D