Alright my trusty followers... again sorry it's been so long but I've had a lot going on! Still do! But I'm going to do my best to keep you updated!

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CH 4

Before I left to go open the bar at Rosie's, I don't think I knew exactly how long I sat curled up on the shower floor sobbing. I felt disgusting and my body hurt from the hour Tom took his anger and sexual frustrations out on me after we got back home. He wasn't always like that, only when he was high. Which I guess is most of the time, but usually he's passed out by the time I get home from work. I don't even really know why I'm still with him. I guess because I know what he could do to me if I tried to leave, and my mother wasn't independent enough to get by with me. She rarely ever set foot out the trailer door and I couldn't leave her back with Tom, I know he'd kill her if I left, because she's the only family I truly have left.

I had set up the whole bar and I was thankful that no one had came in yet because I don't think I slept more than a half hour this morning afraid to fall asleep before Tom. Saturday mornings I usually did by myself behind the bar and today I wish I had Jessica or Aubrey so I could nap a bit in a booth before it got busy tonight for Beca's band.

My head shot up at the sound of the bell above the door ringing.

"Welcome to Rosie's have a…" it all came out as a sigh but when I turned around to see Aubrey and Jessica, I slumped back to my tired position.

Aubrey came over to me quickly hugging me from behind as I stayed in my slumped position. "Are you ok baby."

All I did was nod, I didn't want Aubrey to see the bruise on my cheek I hadn't had a chance to put my make up on yet, so I let my long hair fall in waves over the sides of my face and past my shoulders.

"I was so worried last night, but I didn't want to make things worse. Beca tried to run after you when you yelped last night. But Jesse and I made her stop so you wouldn't get it worse."

My body woke up a bit at the sound of Beca's name and I stilled when Aubrey said she wanted to run after me when she seen Tom hurting me. My heart was melting at the kind gesture even though she hadn't completed it.

"Beca did?" I questioned.

"Oh my god Chloe your face!"

Damnit I blew it. Jessica had caught sight of my bruise as my hair moved from my face as I questioned Beca's actions.

"Shit" I whispered and turned my face away from both of my friends. I tried to get up from the bar rail and Aubrey's hand came down on my shoulder forcing me to stay in place.

"Aubrey it's really not a big deal it's not even a bad one like before."

"What's not as bad as before?"

I looked up and there she was, the mysterious brunette named Beca who was quickly shoving her way into my life, and my heart without even realizing what she was doing to me, and if she did realize it, well shit she was doing a damn good job of it!

"Uhh.. Nothing just uhh.." I quickly looked to Jessica and Aubrey to be quiet as I tried to think of a good excuse to tell Beca even though she probably already knew somewhat what we were talking about.

"Just the mens bathroom, one of the urinals overflowed and Chloe had to clean it this morning." Jessica quickly interjected.

Beca scrunched her eyebrows together, I knew she wasn't believing a word of Jessica's lie, but I prayed silently that she wouldn't press the situation.

"Sure."

I could feel the coldness of the words escape her mouth and slap me across the face for lying, but now wasn't the time. Never was there going to be a time to tell her everything. I just couldn't. I already felt so weak, if I told her, I would crumble into a million pieces at how badly she would probably end up judging me.

Beca walked past me and the girls without even a glance.

"Is Roger here? I need to talk to him…"

Beca kept walking.

I turned in the stool to see if she'd look at me so I wouldn't have to explain anything and she could just see. "Uhm yea he's in the kitchen finishing up prepping the food for the day."

"Cool." And with that she disappeared into the kitchen doors.

I turned back in to my slumped position and laid my head on my arms sighing heavily.

"She knows Bre."

Aubrey started to pull me from my seat. "Why do you care anyways, obviously you've never cared who seen or knew before, when you keep going back to him and letting him treat you the way he does."

Aubrey stared into my eyes as they filled with tears. She knew exactly why I couldn't leave.

"Aubrey!" Jessica spat out knowing what Aubrey had said was inappropriate.

"Shut it Jess you were thinking the same thing and you know it!"

I looked to Jessica as she looked to the floor.

"Some friends you are" I whispered trying to hide the fact that I was about to cry and quickly walking to the bathroom. I ran into the stall and quickly locked it.

I was so upset with everything that my body started to heave. I couldn't stop it. I was throwing up nothing, because I haven't even eaten since lunch time yesterday. I heaved a few more times and tried to stop it when I heard the bathroom door open and someone slowly step inside. I fell to the floor in sobs after I was done throwing up. I couldn't stop the sobs no matter how hard I tried.

I heard whoever was in the bathroom with me try and open the stall door. I curled my knees up to my chest as another sob wrecked through my body.

"Chloe it's Beca let me in please."

I still didn't move. I just continued to sob.

"Well if you won't let me in, I'll let myself in.

I couldn't help but laugh a little through my tears as I seen Beca's small body crawl to the floor and shimmy her way under the stall door.

Beca set back on her butt and wiped the front of her jacket off.

"I'm going to have to burn this coat now ya know."

I smiled and nodded.

"I'm glad you find this funny, because this is my favorite jacket, love."

There was that word again. She kept using it towards me and my smile faded and she caught it.

"Yea, yea, I know."

She scooted closer to me and wrapped an arm around my shoulder. It felt so natural, almost perfect actually so I leaned in close to her and leaned my head against her shoulder. She leaned her head against mine and I began to sob again.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Beca whispered to me.

Her words were so gentle and kind I didn't know how to act. No one had really treated me this way since high school when Tom and I first started dating.

I shook my head. "You don't need to know the details to know how broken I am."

It all came out in a bare whisper but I knew she heard me cause her other arm came to wrap around me too and she held me tighter.

Her embrace was new, it was nice, something I wanted to get used too but I knew I couldn't. I had too much at stake (so I thought) to let myself fall for her, but I let myself enjoy the moment.

I felt so comfortable that I started to fall asleep, but Beca shook me awake.

"Hey love why don't you come back to the band and I's hotel and get some rest for a couple hours and I'll bring you back before the show so you can still make some money."

I shook my head and slowly started to get up from the disgusting floor. Beca stood up with me and as soon as I started to walk towards the door of the stall my knees became weak and I began to get dizzy. I placed my hand on the wall in front of me and I felt Beca's hands on my waist helping to hold me up.

"Come on, I'm sure one of your friends won't mind covering for you while you nap."

Beca was right but I still protested.

"I… can't ...what...what if Tom comes in and I'm not here…. I...I can't take another night like last." Tears started to form again and my body became weaker.

"I'm sure your friends will cover for you, you need rest or there is no way you will make it by the end of the night and then how will you explain a hospital trip to him?"

She had a point but I was terrified to go anywhere but work and the grocery store because of Tom.

"Beca...I…"

"You can and you will now come on I'll help you out of here. Jesse has his car out front I'll go tell Roger that I needed your help figuring some stuff out since you know the bar so well and that Aubrey or Jess is covering for you till later tonight."

I took in a deep breath trying to steady myself and nodded. Just as I came out of the stall with Beca close behind Aubrey came in through the bathroom doors.

"Chloe why don't you go….oh...god ...Chlobear are you ok?" Aubrey suddenly seemed concerned about me again but all I could do is nod.

"No she's not ok, I'm taking her back to my hotel to get some rest. I'm not letting her go back there to that asshole right now, she needs some rest."

Aubrey just nodded and came to the other side of me. They both slung an arm of mine over their shoulder helping me walk to the car.

"Uh, thanks Beca, for uhm doing this for her. If Tom comes in I'll just say she had to run to the store or something for Roger."

Aubrey bit her lip as she helped me into the back seat of the car. My body practically fell onto the seat it was so exhausted. Jesse looked back at me with a sigh. I knew he didn't want to be apart of my mess but if he wanted to get to know Aubrey and his best friend was Beca then he really had no choice.

Aubrey walked over to the driver side of the car frowning at Jesse with tears in her eyes. Jesse grabbed ahold of her hand and kissed it softly. "We will take good care of her I promise."

Nodding Aubrey gave a small smile and headed back to the bar slowly.

A few minutes later Beca came back to the car and hopped into the passenger seat and we were off to Barden.

I woke up after…..only god know how long… to people whispering. Well you couldn't really classify it as whispering I guess, because I could hear practically every word they were saying.

"I sure hope you know what you are getting yourself into." came the first voice. "You don't even know her."

I didn't bother move, because I wanted to hear the whole conversation, so I laid there with my back to them and my eyes half way open just in case they came around this side of the bed for some reason.

I was glad I kept them half way open because I heard a body quickly stomp towards the side of the bed I was facing.

"Jesse how can you say that! You know how I grew up, you know what I've been through you'd have to be an idiot to think that I'm going to sit there and watch this girl who you can clearly see is doing everything she can to get out of that shit hole, and watch her fall deeper into no way out. Some how whether she ever feels the same way about me or not, I will get her as far away from all that as I can."

I heard Jesse walk over to Beca.

"So you're doing this just because you have feelings for her?"

Beca sighed heavily as she picked something up from the floor.

"No Jesse, not just because I have feelings for her, everyone deserves a chance to better their lives and I want to give that to her."

I heard Jesse take in a deep breathe before he spoke. v

"What the hell am I going to do with you Beca Renee Mitchell?" he was probably shaking his head as he let out a small laugh.

"I don't know, be my wing-man?"

I heard them embrace in a hug and I couldn't help but smile inside.

"Or watch me crash and burn. I don't think I can help her alone. She's stubborn and very independent."

I began to lose the smile inside until I heard Jesse laugh and speak up.

"Hmmm…. stubborn and independent… sounds like someone I know….."

I wanted to laugh but I couldn't because then they would know that I witnessed the whole conversation.

I heard a soft thud indicating she must have playfully hit him and I was correct in my assumption when they both laughed.

"Dude! shut up! I've gotten so much better...come on now."

Their laughter subsided and they were silent for a minute.

"For real though Beca I hope you are prepared for what you are getting yourself into, I don't want to see you hurt again."

I knew the tone was different now… I could feel the serious tension invade the entire room now.

"I do, I promise. I just….I want her to be happy, because everyone deserves happiness Jesse."

I don't know what really happened after that but I heard them both leave the room. Deciding it was safe to get up without any questioning, I stretched quickly feeling refreshed and headed to the shower.

As I stood underneath the mildly scolding hot water (which is almost what I'm used too) I looked at all the bruising and left over bruising that was left as an open exhibit for anyone who were to walk in on my shower. A few tears fell from my eyes as I thought back to Jesse and Beca's conversation.

I was well am happy. I have Aubrey and Jessica. I have Roger and Rosie. I have…..my mother and I have Tom. Yes I have all of them and they make me happy.

I thought even more.

She wanted to take me away from everything that makes me happy. She doesn't know me. What am I thinking.

I don't even know right from wrong anymore.

There are some things in my life that make me happy and somethings that…..well ….just break me. Like Tom. He breaks every ounce of me. Every bit of happiness I find in anything….he sucks it right out of me. When I think he's going to change and finally stop his abusive life, he goes right back to sucking everything right out of me.

Beca. She wanted to take me away from everything I knew. I hated her for it. But yet I couldn't help but crack a smile at someone who finally gave a fuck about me. She didn't want to just control me. She didn't want to just fuck me and move on. She didn't want to take the money I busted every single bone in my for. All she wanted was for me to be happy.

I finished my shower and shut the water off.

The towel here in the hotel was soft and fluffy. I felt like a child again as I wrapped it tightly around my fragile body and lifted a corner of it to smell what good clean laundry smelled like again.

The smell brought me back to when I was five years old when my father was still there for my mother an I. There were rubber duckies floating amongst the cool bath water as he gently lifted me from the bath tub with a huge white fluffy towel. He would wrap it around my tiny body and snuggle me in tightly making sure none of the bath heat escaped my little body. "Snug as a bug in a rug" he would always tell men and I would giggle telling him how gross bugs were and he would reply with "Well as gross as they are at least you are still snug and warm." I'll never forget those days.

My towel was still tightly wrapped against my body. I stood in front of the mirror staring back at myself with nothing in return. You could see the bones poking out from my skin. My skin was pale. Much paler than it was when I was younger or even in high school. Dark circles dared to cover my beautiful baby blue eyes which no longer shimmered and shined, but instead burned like a dull flame trying to ignite. My gorgeous red locks that waved, started to become scarce in its thickness and the happiness which I once wore upon my face was now covered in agony, bitterness, and my least favorite word, hate. I hated everything, everyone, and anything. The world had turned on me at a young age and I seen no turning back now.

I stood there staring for I don't even know how long until enough became too much and screamed till my lungs burned and I smashed the mirror in front of my with my bone good for nothing fist.

After that everything became a blur.

My sobs. Beca's voice. Jesse's voice, and the feel of blood running down my arm.

Life wasn't supposed to be this way.