I've Moved On Or Have I?

Chapter 4

So I laughed my self silly last night when Zac Efron won best actor under 25 at PCA. Yeah right...

As usual grateful thanks to SM for letting me borrow her characters from time to time.

BPOV

Sitting at the table eating my breakfast I stared at the room full of flowers. He obviously liked the fact that I told him I missed him and loved him. How should I respond I wonder.

I decide purely to thank him and keep it light. I don't want him thinking just because I love him all is forgotten it's not and it may never be.

Edward Cullen I am not even going to ask how you got into my apartment. The flowers are lovely. Thank you. It still doesn't change anything.

After I'd pressed the send button I immediately regretted it. It was a little cold and I didn't want to make him think he stood no chance. God I could go round and round worrying about conversations being misinterpreted. It was too late now.

I was just on my way out of the door to the Library when the familiar sound of my message tone hit the air. Eagerly pulling the phone out of my bag I saw the message was from Edward.

I know they weren't meant to. I guess I just got a little carried away when you said you love me still. I refuse 100% to divulge the source of my entry/exit but you already know I am quite resourceful. I hope you have a good day. Text me if you want to talk.

Why was he able to make me feel like everything is okay. Without actually saying it he was letting me know the flowers were not a bribe, he knew that I knew Alice had probably lent him her key or come with him. His last sentence let me know he wasn't pushing it. He really was a perfect gent.

My study at the Library was a waste of time. All I could think about is Edward, Edward and more Edward. That I loved him I have no doubts. Do I think we can work together again right now. No I'm unsure if my feelings are frozen from four years ago. I need now I have admitted I love him to experience new things before I decide if he or us is what I want.

Back at home I continue to think how I can go about deciding if Edward is still the one. I have nothing and no one to compare him to. May be that's the problem. After much soul searching I think I just might have come up with a solution. He's not going to like it but tough. I need to date other men, I need to go out with friends and have a good time. Now my mind was more open I could see if anyone comes even close to comparing with Edward. I set myself a three month time line. Now all I have to do is tell him and the others.

First I consider contacting Tom to go out on a date but no, that ship has sailed had I wanted to take our friendship further I would have found a way. No my new plan is to go out with my new friends and see what happens. I will arrange with Kayla and Julia to go out with them after work on a Friday. Hopefully I'll be able to find a date for Saturday nights. Maybe Shirley would come with us. The more the merrier.

A quick text to both girls get the desired response. With that sorted I text Alice and ask her to bring Emmett, Esme and Jasper to my apartment later. I would text my decision to Edward. I laugh a little as I can imagine his reaction. Is it too cruel to text this sort of thing. The only problem I have is that this is the only form of communication I've got with Edward. I couldn't handle a spoken conversation yet. May be he could hear what I had to say by conference call at least then I would not have to speak directly to him. Hmm I'll consider asking Alice about that.

My shift was over all too soon I was delighted that Shirley had agreed to attend our girly nights out but she couldn't do this Friday. Next week was a done deal. Now to face the wrath of my adopted family. When I got home they were already there. Alice's face told me she wasn't pleased.

"Hi everyone thanks for coming. As you probably already know Edward and I have had several sort of conversations. We have been open with each other and now hopefully we can move forward from here. Emmett would you mind ringing Edward and keeping him on speaker, he needs to hear this too."

Taking a deep breath I wait until I hear his beautiful voice. Emmett has explained I need to tell the all something.

"Well now things are more settled and I have been able to admit my feelings for Edward again I need to move forward. I think I can only do this by seeing if these feelings are still real. I'm worried they are frozen from four years ago and I don't want to make any more mistakes. I need to explore life properly now that I am more open minded."

"What does that Bella?" Esme asks quietly.

"I've decided to give myself a period of three months where I am going to go out every weekend with my friends and hopefully the odd date will be in there."

A collective gasp and then a growl so loud he might as well have been stood next to me.

"No Bella you can't do this. Its not fair you've just found each other again." Emmett said sounding really quite upset.

"Emmett, Edward, please I need to do this. For four years my mind has been closed to anyone and everything. Having you lot back in my life has opened my mind to things again I never thought possible. I love you Edward but I need to make sure these feelings are real and current and not from back then. I owe it myself and you to make sure I do it all properly. I don't know what is going to happen but I need to experience life again before I commit to anything with you again. Please understand."

Alice stays when the others leave, Emmett has left his phone Edward is still on the other end he wants to talk properly if he's going to agree to my what he called 'absurd' idea.

"Bella love, I understand you are cautious and I'm not expecting you to jump right back in where we were but please reconsider. I'll do anything. I can't stand back and watch you fall in love with someone else Bella I won't do it."

The sadness in his voice almost breaks my resolve.

"Edward, I need to do this I need to spend time living a little. I need my last four years now. I have no real intention of falling for anyone but I want to experience other people if I'm asked out. Loving one person is hard enough believe me."

" Okay I'll agree if I can impose certain conditions." he said

What the hell where did he get off hijacking my idea. Would I be able to agree to his conditions? Would they even be reasonable?

"Tell me what you have in mind Edward and I'll listen."

"Well on some occasion's Alice can go out with you and drive you home safely. Whenever she can't make it one of us will always pick you up and bring you home safely. Even after a date you will agree to meeting one of us at a designated spot and you will be taken home. Emmett may decide to join you some weekends and when he does you will introduce him as your adopted brother. How does that sound Bella?"

Just to wind him up a bit more I cannot resist adding

"What happens if I want to bring the date home for sex Edward?"

Alice's sniggering distracted me a little so I turned to stick my tongue out at her.

Suddenly he was in front of me. Where he came from I don't know but he was hovering almost over my small frame. I was in shock one because he was obviously mad at my comment and two I had not seen him so close for over four years. My eyes opened really wide as I took him all in. I wasn't scared of him. Yes he was a bit intimidating but only to those who did not know him as a person. He was trying to intimidate me right now.

"Sex Bella you want to bring boys back here for sex?"

Every word he spat back at me but I could see the hurt in his eyes.

"I was only asking Edward you don't need to over react."

"No one comes back here for sex Bella do I make myself clear. I can be even more persuasive if you'd like me to Bella."

With that he gently stroked my cheek and blew his scent into my nostrils. Just as I was about to swoon he was gone. Alice was still there laughing quietly to herself.

"Bella you really do have a death wish don't you? Talk about knowing how to push that particular vampires buttons you certainly do. I thought he was going to blow a gasket. So sister where are we going this Friday?"

We decided to meet at nine thirty in the pub next door to the café. The extra half hour would give me time to get changed and ready. Kayla and Julia would meet us there. Alice came to the café late on and I was able to sneak out the back a bit early so she could do her Bella Barbie thing on me. I was satisfied I looked okay. Black leggings with high strappy shoes and a figure hugging min dress come top over. It was just right for a night out.

We danced we laughed we drank. Alice was designated driver so no one paid too much attention to the fact she did not drink. I had a ball. I danced with several cute guys during the course of the evening but found myself comparing them all unfavourably to Edward. None of them asked me out anyway so it didn't matter.

Pleasantly drunk the evening came to end all too soon. Tomorrow I was going out with Julia on our own. We were going to see a movie then catching a bite to eat. Alice dropped the girls off before driving me home. My phone buzzed as I let myself. It was my favourite vampire.

Glad you are home safely. Did you enjoy yourself?

Sorry none of those guys asked you out. No I'm not sorry I'm glad but they want their heads read. Go to bed you're drunk. I love you. X

I was very nearly too drunk to reply but I did.

Had a ball. They were nothing compared to you. I'm going to bed right now bossy boots. I miss you, I miss your arms and your lips and your...

I know Bella believe me I know. Good night. X

My phone was still in my hand the next morning when I woke up. I had the mother of all hang overs. It felt great. I was a light weight compared to Julia and Kayla when it came to drinking and when they danced it was so erotic they should have been arrested. I had taken to keeping all Edward's messages. It made me feel closer to him. I'd been asleep before his final message came last night. It made me smile when I read it.

Cleaning, washing and hoovering with a banging head was no fun. Once I was satisfied the apartment looked okay I ran a bath and lit some candles and went for a long hot soak. I decided it would be nice to chat with Edward whilst I was relaxing.

You busy or want to text talk?

His reply was almost instant.

How's the hangover? Doing it all again tonight aren't we?

Not quite Edward even I'm not up to two nights in a row, not for drinking anyway. Cinema and a bite to eat only.

Are you suggesting you might want to do something else two nights on the trot Bella? How's the studying for your finals going? Need any help?

Crap. Can't concentrate. Too many distractions. Hmm the water is lovely.

Water? What on earth are you doing?

I'm in a hot bubble bath surrounded by candles. What else did you think I'd be doing.

His reply does not come straight away, I wonder why when it arrives.

I have to go Bella speak soon. Love you x

That was a bit odd. One minute we were chatting the next he had to go. Strange very strange but they were, the whole family. A shout from the lounge startled me 'hey I heard that Swan'. Alice had decided to pay me a visit.

Reluctantly I pulled myself out of the bath and got dried and slipped on a lounge suit Alice's choice shocking pink velour. Lovely, Not.

"Hey Alice to what do I owe the pleasure?"

"What did you do to my brother today Isabella Swan? He took off like he'd got buck shot up his arse. One minute I saw you 'talking' then he was gone. He looked flustered Bella what on earth were you talking about?"

"Nothing really really I just told him I was relaxing in a hot bubble bath, then like you saw he said he had to go."

Giggling now Alice said

"Now I see exactly what was the matter with him."

"Care to share Alice coz I don't have a clue."

"Bella he must have been picturing you naked in the bath. Poor Edward he won't have known where to put himself."

The idea he would be embarrassed by text was even stranger than I imagined. Why would he do that I mean he'd seen so much more over the years.

"Yes he has Bella but not you naked. He may have imagined it many times in the past but when you told him well you can imagine."

However long I live I will never understand the mind of that vampire. Alice helps me get ready for my next night out. Tonight I'm driving and I won't be home late.

The film was terrible we had a good laugh about it. Our meal was a pizza hut plain and simple. I don't think my stomach could handle anything more today. We talked and talked I found out all sorts Kayla was dating a lecturer from Uni. He wasn't her teacher so it was deemed okay. Julia had broken up with her ex Steve some four months earlier. We planned next Friday, Alice couldn't come but Shirley was. We were going to try a nightclub called "The Hour Glass" rumour had it as select played good music and was not too expensive. Sounded like just what I needed.

Work and study were my only life during the week. My nightly text with Edward made my heart swell. He'd apologised for rushing off on Sunday and he'd actually admitted he panicked at the thought of me naked in the bath. When I laughed he seemed to relax a little.

Emmett was going to be babysitting me this weekend. He was itching to join us girls and use his wiley charms on us. I could picture it now. Edward and I talked about how Rose was handling him going out with me.

She's dealing with it Bella don't worry. He does really quite well when it comes to you Bella he won't take her nonsense. I don't want to upset you but I've been meaning to ask if I can ring you to talk instead of texting sometimes?

Could I really handle speaking to him. Texting was like having a conversation really. May be we could start with a short call and see how it goes.

We could try a short call for now and see how it goes if you really want to.

Seconds later my phone rang.

"I do want to try Bella."

He sounded so close, so wonderful. His voice perfect in every way.

"Hi Edward."

"Hello love Thursday again, where does the time go? So The Hour Glass eh? I hear they play good music. You should have a good time. Emmett will certainly make sure you do."

"Hmm I don't know how I feel about him being there. I mean he'll put off any potential suitors."

His low growl was no more than I expected. When I chuckled he too laughed a bit.

"Bella Bella Bella, Alice is right you do know how to push my buttons. Maybe I should think up a way to punish you."

"Edward if you can't handle me being in the bath then I really don't think you should be thinking up appropriate punishments for me."

"She told you about that eh?"

"Yup, I was a bit startled when you up'd and left. It made sense when she told me."

"Hmmm is this all right talking like this or is it too much?"

"Enough for today I think."

"Oh okay good bye Bella."

Stupid vampire. I only meant the talking on the phone part. I think we did okay don't you?

May be. It's a start. May be if you weren't going out looking for other men every week it'd feel better.

Stop sulking like a jealous ex boyfriend Edward. At least we are communicating now.

I'm not a jealous ex I'm a jealous boyfriend in waiting. I will win you back Bella I intend to fight as hard as I need to.

The words I read made me swallow deeply. He was certainly staking his claim. I don't respond. He wouldn't expect me to I'm sure.

At work the next day Shirley is beside herself. I think its been a while since she went out by the way she was acting. Penny let us both finish up at quarter to nine so we look our best. Tonight I'm in black trousers and a diamante gold camisole top. I'm more than pleased with how the whole looks together. Alice's hours of training as she puts it are obviously paying off.

Several cocktails later we head to the nightclub. It's dark inside and it takes my eyes time to adjust. I can see it is tasteful inside with alcoves surrounding the perimeter the dance floor is central so all tables have a good view. The bar area is separate to the side of the dance floor but once again even from the bar you could see everything. We are lucky enough to grab a table in an alcove. It means we have a base and can keep our drinks safe whilst we dance.

Shirley is whisked away by a guy about her age. We don't her see again for ages. I'm not as drunk as last week yet. The cocktails keep flowing god knows how much I've spent. Harvey Wallbangers are not cheap. At the bar I'm approached by a guy I sort of recognise. I'm not sure if its from the café or Uni. He introduces himself as Matt, we dance and chat for a while. Then my brother turns up.

He looks like John Travolta gone wrong in all white. I cannot believe Rosalie let him out looking like that. Talk about a throwback from the seventies. I cringe when he pulls me into his arms for a hug. Shirley. Julia and Kayla are all stunned their mouths wide open. I mean he might look a prat but he's still huge and drop dead gorgeous.

"Ladies say hello to my brother Emmett. Emmett this is Shirley, Kayla and Julia."

Of course he does what I would expect and kisses all their hands. They are putty in his fingers. I roll my eyes at him when he nudges me.

"Looking hot tonight Bella, Edward won't believe what he's missing."

"Whose Edward Bella?" Shirley and Kayla ask at the same time overhearing our conversation.

"A friend of Emmett's who has a bit of thing for me."

Em nearly choked even though he wasn't drinking when I said this.

"He's gonna be pissed when he hears that description Bella you wait and see."

Matt came over and asked me to dance. I think he was little intimidated by Emmett's presence but he soon relaxed when I told him he was my brother. I liked Matt he as easy to talk to and we had things in common. I readily agreed to go out with him tomorrow. I actually felt good that he'd asked me. I'd deal with the fallout later. Emmett or Alice could drop me off and pick me so I was still abiding to Edward's rules.

At the end of the night when Matt came over to agree a meeting time tomorrow Emmett growled quietly beside me. He dropped all the girls home before he went for me. He actually shouted at me. My Emmett shouted at me.

"What the hell Bella, he's gonna spit feathers over this. Are you so desperate to hurt him back you'll go out with the first guy that asks you?

"Is that what you really think Emmett that I'm doing this as pay back?"

"Well aren't you?"

"No I'm not. I have four years to make up for. If Edward and I can make it Em I need to know I'll not regret other things including men."

We don't talk again. He doesn't even goodnight. I had been in a good mood now it was spoilt. As I crawled into bed a text arrived. Should have known Emmett would snitch.

What did you do to Emmett Bella he's blocking me and in a foul mood. I will find out so why not just tell me now.

Better get it over with I suppose. I text back asking him to ring me.

"Bella are you alright?"

"Yes Edward I'm fine. Emmett is not happy with me tonight because I agreed to go on a date tomorrow night."

The silence was horrid. Should I say something else. No I'd better let him speak first.

" Text Alice the times Bella."

Then he hung up on me. I guess he was upset. I text him

I'm sorry but you knew this was a possibility Edward.

The next day I text Alice the time to pick me up 7.30. She too didn't speak to me. Great my BFF and even she's ignoring me. I tell her as I get out of the car that I'll text her when I want picking up. I'd heard nothing else from Edward. I felt horrid about that.

Matt bless him tried his best but my heart was just not in it. I missed talking to Edward. Once again he had wormed his way under my skin and I hadn't even spent any time with him. I'd only seen him close up once and he'd tried to intimidate me then too. I did try to like Matt and I did he was nice, easy going and funny but there was no spark. When he asked me out again at the end of the night I apologised and told him no.

Alice didn't talk all the way home and Edward did not text me either. I cried myself to sleep that night. Sunday dawned dull and a little cold. I really needed to get some of my dissertation done. It was really hard to concentrate. Surely Alice will have seen that I said no to another date surely she'd told him by now. God what was the point in me sticking to this three moth plan if after only two weeks I knew I only wanted him. Fuck fuck fuck.

Shirley was eager to see how my date on Saturday had gone. She herself had a Sunday date with the guy Derek she danced half the night with. I told her the truth, he was nice but my heart wasn't in it. No I would n't be seeing him again. Her date had been a big success, she was head over heels. Now I knew my decision was right because there was no way I felt like Shirley did. I drove home slowly thinking how to put it right.

I just didn't know how to put it right. All week I pondered. It was like bashing your head against a brick wall. Other than calling him I had nada nothing. When Friday came around Alice text to say she would pick me whenever I wanted her to. It was curt and made me sigh.

So there was just the three of us tonight. Shirley was out with the lovely Derek. In The Hour Glass we secured a table before going to the bar and getting two jugs one of a Margherita cocktail the other Sangria. I alternated between the two and was soon more than tipsy.

I had been more than daring in my dress tonight. It was flame red sleeveless and very tight and very very short. The plunging V neck flattered my small breasts. It fit me like a glove and I know I looked good because the guys at work at whistled when I walked through the shop on my way out. A recent spray tan still made my legs look good and not out of place under the short dress. Red high heels finished it off to perfection.

I danced with Julia and Kayla and sometimes with guys sometimes on my own. Tonight I just needed to free myself from this huge burden. When I stumbled my way back to the table Julia said.

"Bella there's this guy at the bar who has been literally undressing you with his eyes while you were dancing. Hot too."

When I turned to look where she pointed I could see no one. Must have gone home or to the little boys room. Turning back to refill my glass I saw Julia and Kayla's mouth open in shock. Oh no not Emmett please not tonight.

"Bella its him he's coming over here."

I didn't get time to turn around and look before he spoke.

"Good evening ladies." he said smoothly looking straight into my eyes.

"Will you dance with me?" he said offering his hand.

How could I refuse. The electricity that shot through me when our hands met took my breath away. He led me to the dance floor. As we approached the music changed, slowed right down. The Moody Blue's Nights in White Satin started up. Great now I had over five minutes in his arms. He carefully placed his right hand in the small of my back and held my right hand against his chest with his left hand. We were close very close as we moved to the music. I didn't speak to him god I dare not even look at him. He looked incredible and felt even better. I sneaked a couple of glances up but never got above those delectable lips. I don't know if it was the alcohol or what but I wanted to kiss him so badly. I wouldn't of course. When his hand moved up and down my back I just about came in my panties.

I felt like every pair of eyes were on us. Edward was more than striking on his own but with me dressed like this we sort of made people stand up and stare. Not a word passed between us for the whole song. As he escorted me back to the table I swear I heard a strained Bella...

When I sat down dumbstruck he said quietly

"Thank you Bella I'll be back to do that again a bit later."

"Okay." was all I could manage

"Oh my god Bella he's absolutely gorgeous. You two looked so good out there. It was the most erotic thing I've ever seen with clothes on." Kayla said laughing.

"Who'd a thought it. Quiet Bella Swan nabs the god like creature never before seen around here. Come on them spill."

"There's nothing to tell really. His name is Edward. He's...

"Wait" Kayla screams "this is Edward your brother Emmett's friend?"

I nod before continuing.

"He's my ex too. We split up over four years ago. It took me a while to get over it. We've only recently started talking again. Its complicated just now."

"God Bella he is hot hot hot and he still hasn't taken his eyes off you. Earlier when you danced with that guy in the lemon shirt I noticed then him undressing you with his eyes and it looked like he wanted to rip that guys head clean off."

I couldn't help laughing at how true her words probably were.

"Are you going to get back with him Bella?"

"Who knows Julia, as I said things are complicated right now. We were making progress until I went out with Matt last week. We haven't spoken since then."

I didn't add that I hadn't even seen him properly for four years.

"I think he's forgiven you Bella here he comes again." Julia said with a hint of envy in her voice.

"Bella shall we?" he again offers his hand.

The music this time is proper smooching music this time he pulls me even closer and places my arms around his neck. Even in five inch heels it's a stretch.

"Are you going to talk to me this time Bella?"

"No"

"Really"

"No"

"You just did."

"Shut up Edward, you have an audience."

"I've missed you terribly, I'm sorry that I reacted so badly. This is me fighting for you. I hope you agree it's a better way of winning you back."

I rest my head just below his shoulder and I stiffen when I feel him drop a kiss on the top of my head.

"I love you Bella. You look incredible in that dress if not a little too indecent. I had to stop myself from going on the rampage when you walked in and all the guys saw you. I have never felt as much lust in my whole vampire life. It was not good Bella for me to hear other men lust after you. I didn't like it. It makes Emmett proud to be with Rose when that happens me I couldn't stand it. It would kill me others thinking of my mate like that."

"Edward, take me home please."

I make my apologies to Julia and Kayla. I give them money for a taxi my lift was supposed to take them home too but didn't want them knowing more about Edward and I. We walk out of the club hand in hand and towards his car.

His Volvo is parked not far away and it brings tears to my eyes when I see it. It is everything I remember about him. He squeezes my hand letting me know he remembers too.

I keep hold of his cold hand in the car I don't want to let him go ever. I doodle figures all over his palm. When we get back to my place I ask him.

"Please come up we need to talk some more in private."

It's amazing how soon you can sober up when you need to. I did just that I think.

I go into the kitchen to make myself a coffee and tell him as I go to make himself at home. He followed me. He stood closely behind me not touching me but I could feel that electricity. I ached for him to pull me into his arms. I turn around to look at him.

"Go get changed Bella I can't concentrate with you dressed like that." he says coldly.

"No when I get changed Edward I will be going to bed and I sleep naked these days. No unexpected visitors anymore so I dropped the PJ's."

I only said it in response to the coldness of his demand. It worked he pulled me into his arms and kissed me. At first he was very tentative. Even more so than I remembered. That changed as soon as my hands went to his hair. He deepened the kiss and I swear I even felt his tongue touch my bottom lip. No there is no way the Edward I knew would have kissed me using his tongue. I didn't care about tongue kissing Edward made me forget all the bad things ever. It was better than heaven could ever be. I never wanted him to stop. My already too suggestive dress was now hitched around my thighs. Edwards hand roaming all over my back they even touched on the top of my legs. When he felt the skin of my thighs and not my dress he pulled back.

"Bella we have to stop now while I still can."

"I don't want to stop Edward I want you."

A phone going off sort of killed my buzz. When he stepped away from me I knew it was his phone.

"Yes, I know I'm leaving."

I was stunned, he was just going to leave. It was as easy to leave as it always had been to him. A loud sob escaped from me.

"Please love understand I have to go now. If I stay you'll get hurt and I can't risk that Bella I won't.

"So it doesn't matter if you hurt me by leaving then?"

"It's a different kind of hurt I'm worried about."

Taking my face in between his hand he places a gentle kiss on my now swollen lips.

"I love you Bella, tonight was wonderful. Thank you."

Then he was gone. Just like old times I was left frustrated. I cried myself to sleep. In the morning I felt terrible, headache, sore throat and I was so tired. I spent the whole day wallowing. I only dressed myself incase unexpected visitors arrived. No one did not even a text or call. Charlie could tell straight away I was not myself.

"You okay Bells?" he asked during weekly call on the Sunday.

"Yeah just a bit under the weather thats all."

I had several text later that day from Julia and Kayla. They wanted gossip unfortunately for me I had none to give them. If Edward and I could get back on track things were going to have to change I couldn't carry on like this. I was 22 for fucks sake I was sick of being a virgin. I wanted Edward like I never had before, every ounce of my being ached for his touch, for his hands on my body for his lips to kiss me all over...why do I do this to myself. I respond to both girls.

Its still complicated.

I decide the best way is to carry on with my plan. Alice is surprisingly absent most of the time. I have a funny feeling her brother has something to do with that. I don't believe he's distancing himself anymore more like he like me wants us to be the ones to sort it out.

Esme comes to see me often and brings Emmett who has either forgotten or forgiven me from our previous spat. Edward texts me every night but I haven't seen him again. I know he's nearby though I can feel him. He doesn't believe I can sense him but I can.

I know you are out there Edward either come in or ring me don't just stalk me. The neighbours are starting to talk.

Within a minute he slides through the patio door.

"I knew I was right."

"How are you? I'm sorry again. It's all I seem to do apologise to you. I know I make you angry but my control is not that good anymore Bella and you would have been hurt, physically that is."

"I know its okay. I understand why you left. Alice saw something."

I join him on the sofa I make sure to leave sufficient space between us so he doesn't feel pressured. When he pulls me close I'm more than a little surprised.

"Come here I've missed you." he says smelling my hair deeply.

I laugh but do not protest. At this point I will take whatever he is offering. We have yet to discuss what we are and where we are in our complicated relationship.

"I've missed you too so much." I say snuggling in close to his cold hard body.

"We do need to talk Bella. Things are not going to get straightened out if we continue to pretend everything is okay."

"I didn't realise we were pretending everything is okay. I still have weeks left of my new found freedom and I intend to use it all."

I feel him tense up around me.

"Are you joking me or what? You still intend to go out every week and will accept dates if someone asks after last weekend and what it was like between us?" he sounds heartbroken.

"Well I had planned on continuing to go out yes and yes I loved our time together last week and whose to say we can't do that again. We could even go out casually together but I still need to live my last four years Edward. I'll only end up regretting it and then you'll be miserable and blame yourself this way its all over and done with before we talk about the future."

" I don't think I can stand by Bella and watch you do what you did in the nightclub last week for another two months. I'll have killed someone by then. I won't be able to control myself."

"Then don't watch me on those nights out Edward. Trust that I will do nothing to jeopardise my life with you. Will you trust me Edward?"

"I do trust you Bella and I do understand why you want to do this but I just can't stand the way other men lust after you even look at you. God knows it's bad enough that I feel like that but strangers. No I can't do it."

I saw my opportunity and seized upon it.

"So you lust after me too do you?" I say crawling into his lap. My lips kissing his neck finding his jaw. He didn't stop me at first. He groaned under me. Soon our lips were moulded together. This time I took the lead I let him know exactly how wanted to be kissed. I nibbled on his bottom lip coaxing his mouth open. He refused me entry but he did lick my bottom lip again. He was driving me mad. My hands were pulling at his hair now I was desperate to get closer to him. I could feel his erection hard against me where I sat on his lap. I could not help grinding myself into it. We both groaned now, when his phone started ringing I simply said.

"You answer that now and we are over, this ends forever if you pick up that phone Edward."

I know I sounded like a sulky child but right now he needed to understand we were more important. He looked at me and saw that my eyes meant every word. He ignored it and continued our kiss. When his stopped mine started.

"Do you want to get that Bella? Its Alice."

I answer him by throwing my phone against the wall. Our kisses soon turn hot and eager once more. Both of us now fully committed to letting this go wherever it needs to. I slowly climb off him and pull him up of the sofa. He lets me I couldn't have done it if he wasn't willing. Our lips never part I walk us slowly to my bedroom.

Behind the closed door I edge us closer to the bed. My hands now trying to get his shirt off, out of his trousers and over his head. He helps me and throws it over a chair. As I start to remove my own clothes he stops me and starts to do it himself. He kisses every inch of skin he uncovers. I am beside myself with longing for him.

"Bella I don't know if I'll be able to do everything tonight. Will you be patient with me please. Can we see how far I can go. Will that be enough for you?"

"Edward I love you, just trying is enough. I'll take whatever you feel you can give."

The rest of our clothes lay scattered on my bedroom floor. I'm too nervous to blush and so overcome with love and tenderness for this man. He is so scared. He's lived over a hundred years and to never have even attempted this. I know it goes against everything he's ever believed in. He's doing this for me, for us.

He may be as hard as marble and as cold as it too but to me he is hotter than that hottest furnace. His perfect physique makes me weak at the knees. I touch him gently with my finger tips moving slowly down his back and side. When I cup the cheek of his backside he pushes himself into me. I groan god he feels so good. A little braver now my hands roam freely around his body, he does not try to stop me. When I touch his erection I stop, watching his reaction waiting for him to disappear. He doesn't instead he closes his eyes and leans back onto the pillows.

I pull myself closer to his side as he allows me access to his whole body. I kiss him and tell how much I love him. All the time my hand is caressing his erection. I have no real idea of what I am doing so I just do what I think I should and what I'd heard on the grapevine. It seems to be working now his hips are moving, thrusting upwards in time with my hand movements. The occasional moaning of my name draw my eyes back to his face. When I lean down and kiss him I stop my hand moving not on purpose it just sort of happens.

He then takes over. I am on my back under him in a flash. We both giggle a little.

"Its my turn now, you just need to lie still please and let me practice." His raised eyebrows warn me to be good.

His hands float over my skin while his lips devour mine. His hand and fingers play me like a prized instrument. I cannot believe after only a minute or two that he has no experience in this at all. Soon I am writhing under his touch, desperate for more. i cannot stay still I just cannot.

"Patience Bella patience."

"Are you sure you've never done this before Edward because you sure know a hell of a lot more than I do. Yours hands feel like magic please don't stop."

"I'll try not to Bella but I can't promise to go all the way not with out more preparation. We'll see."

His lips follow now where his hands were. He suckles first one then my other breast whispering about their perfection as he goes. Lower and lower he goes. I know I am ready for whatever he decides. I can feel my own juices slippery down the inside of my leg. He stops to caress my stomach with his tongue. At the same time he parts my legs with his hands and moves closer to my core.

At first he cups me and rubs his palm against my clit this causes me to writhe like crazy under him.

"Steady Bella steady love."

When his fingers slip inside my folds and he finds my slickness I just about die. A low growl comes from deep within him. I cannot stop raising my hips to meet his touch. His face is now only inches away. Is he really going to use his mouth? Will he be able to control himself?

I shouldn't have worried. When his tongue touched me there I was sure I'd died and gone to heaven I knew there was no way in hell I could stop myself moving. It felt fantastic, no more than that incredible. No there are no words to describe how it felt being eaten out by Edward Cullen. The first of my many orgasm that night came hard and I came loud very loud. Poor Edward his hair was very nearly pulled out at the roots as I pulled and tugged at him. Still he did not let me rest. Over and over I was in agony and ecstasy at the same time it was sheer bliss. Fucking perfect.

When he eventually allowed me to rest and he crawled back up to be level with my face I could smell me all over him. He was grinning from ear to ear.

"How did I do love?" he asks laughing.

"Oh not bad for a beginner, I'm sure with practice you'll get better."

At this he attacks my lips and rolls us over so I am on top of him.

"Now its my turn you just lay there and be good." I tell him as I crawl down his perfect body.

Dare I be as bold as he was. If you can't have full sex and I assume after multiple orgasm's he isn't even going to attempt full sex tonight. I can't leave him unsatisfied. I want him to experience what I have tonight so I need to do what I need to do. I have no experience of the size of men's penis' I've read of course and heard countless men bragging but I'm sure this was bigger than the norm. I'd just do what I could I could always use both my hands and mouth.

My eventual destination seems to sink in and he touches my shoulder.

"Bella no you don't have to do that."

"I know, I want to Edward I want you to feel like I did when you did it to me."

I take the tip in my hand and lick off his precum. I swirl my tongue around the head before sliding my mouth over as much as I can. I must be doing okay as he's moaning again and he hips are thrusting it deeper into my mouth. I need to reposition myself to get closer to him, as I turn he pulls me sideways to him and slips his fingers into my hot wet core once again. Oh my god this is so incredible. Never in my wildest dreams had I ever imagined me giving him head whilst he fingered me. It made me come just thinking about it. When I pulsed around his fingers he came in my mouth. He immediately went into..

"Bella I'm so sorry I just..., when you..., I just couldn't stop."

"Edward its okay really I wanted to do it. Please trust me on this love."

He dragged me back up along his cold body it made me horny again being so close.

"Do you ever stop looking for opportunities to jump me Bella?" he said laughing.

"A girls got to take whatever chances she can." I explain trying to keep a serious face on.

"You do realise you'll never get rid of me now you know. I could not possibly leave your side now that I have swallowed your bodily fluids and you mine. I'll have to think of how we are going to deal with this seeing as you still want to go out picking up men when you have perfectly good one at home."

"You could always move in Edward so that I have to come home to you even after a drunken night of debauchery."

"There will be no debauchery my love, you can go out with the girls when you like but I will be the only man in your life now and I am serious Bella. I'll bring my stuff here tomorrow. No one has to know if you don't want them to or we can go public whatever you want."

"Can we talk about it in the morning please I'm knackered. Lets just cuddle up and go to sleep."