I cannot begin to thank you all enough for the outpouring of responses that we have received for this story thus far. This story means a lot to us and to see how some of our readers respond to it seriously means the absolute world to us. So again, thank you!

Thanks to the BEAUTIFUL SSST for this AWESOME chapter. I love working with you to make this story so incredible. You're doing a phenomenal job with Eddie-boy's POV- more than I could've ever imagined for him when I thought up this whole idea.

And of course, thank you to our amazing beta, the fantastically talented, Yummy! Once again, smoochie boochies, babe!

This chapter does have some slightly darker topics. You have officially been warned.

Alrighty, we'll see you down at the bottom. Enjoy!

Warning: This story is rated M for a reason. It will have some dark topics, full of angst. At different points, there will be graphic scenes containing violence, adult language, and rape.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters, those are all property of the super fabulous, Stephanie Meyer. I do, however, own the angst driven world that they are all residing in throughout this story.

CHAPTER FOUR

EPOV

Waking up the next morning is hell on my head, but my sleep was dreamless which is what I had hoped for. Somehow in my drunken haze last night, I managed to strip naked and crawl into my bed, which is amazing because most nights I don't even get my shoes off, let alone make it to my bed.

I reach over to my nightstand drawer and pull out an assortment of pills. I look through all the different bottles and pull out Hydromorphone. It's one of the strongest I've got, and it takes away all the pain for the time being. One of the perks about having money, any doctor with a prescription pad can be bought. Popping two 8 milligram tablets, I swallow them easily and get out of bed heading for my shower.

My bathroom is probably my favorite room in the condo. Not that my condo isn't every guy or even girl's dream, but the bathroom is just incredible. The heated marble floor soothes my aching feet before I make it into the shower to have six different showerheads pound the shit out of my back, massaging my sore muscles.

I turn it on, step in and sink to the bottom of the shower. I tilt my head up and let the water spill over me. Feeling the water saturating my hair, I run my hands through the strands, soaking up even more of the heat from the water. I grab my pricey shampoo, giving my hair a good wash, before just standing under the hot water, letting it melt away all of the bullshit. The water hitting my skin and rinsing me clean is almost heavenly, but then again it could be the slight lightheaded feeling I get when the pills kick in.

After I finish with my shower, I towel dry and glance in the mirror, wiping off the steam. It's ironic that my apartment is filled with all kinds of art deco mirrors, beautifully reflective art, and walls of windows, but I can't stand to see my own reflection. My eyes look dull and lifeless. I'm not sure if that's a result of the slight high I have from the pills or if people can see how truly dead I am inside. Physically speaking, women trip over themselves to get in my pants, but fucking them senseless is just a way to temporarily fill a void, to lose myself so I don't have to remember. I lost so much of myself the day Jake died.

Tonight is our night to celebrate. I'm hanging with my friends, drinking a few Vitamin R's. After all, we are graduating from college soon and life can't get any better. I'm even engaged to the most wonderful and caring woman I have ever met.

Jacob's my best friend, my wingman, and tonight he's playing designated driver. We've known each other since we were kids and though he lived on a reservation; he still attended the same high school as me. I got a lot of flak from some of the snobs in Brookhaven for hanging out with what they called the 'charity cases'. But the difference between the two is the guys on the res actually care about more than just their social connections and bank accounts.

The bonfire is roaring and the mood is light, everyone's talking about graduation and my upcoming nuptials a few months after that.

"Eddie, dude, how does it feel? You're graduating from Juilliard, you already have the New York Philharmonic planned out for after graduation, you've written major soundtracks to some pretty epic movies and you're marrying Vicky all in the next four months!" Jake sounds excited for me.

Sam married Emily after high school and ended up getting a job at a local auto mechanics shop. He's expecting his first baby, a girl, in a few weeks. I was at the wedding which was in a small church. It was perfect as far as small tribal ceremonies go, filled with all the love and happiness of the entire tribe. He seems really happy with his life. But I guess my life in comparison may seem even crazier than marrying your high school sweetheart.

I chuckle at the happiness that seems to be radiating off our group. Everyone seems to have their shit straight, happy with how things turned out.

Jake and I hang a little longer with Sam, Quil, Embry, and Paul before we have to bounce. Jake has an early morning meeting. He's been searching for teaching jobs for the past two months and finally got a call back. He's going to be an amazing teacher. He's dedicated and smart and so good with kids. I think he honestly just wants to give back a little.

He attends Columbia University, a college close to Juilliard, and we share an apartment in Manhattan.

After making plans to meet up with the guys on graduation day, we decide it's time to head out. I climb my slightly-buzzed ass into his little car and we crank the stereo. I remember when my parents gave him this car for graduating high school. He was told to pick out whatever he wanted and somehow he found himself wandering from the new car section over to the used cars and fell in love with this little classic Volkswagen Rabbit. The car seems a lot smaller, now that we're two full grown men climbing into it, but it's his baby and he refuses to trade it in.

Highway to Hell comes through the speakers and we just start screaming the words, laughing at my slurred chorus line.

The last thing I see is Jake's smiling face highlighted in bright white lights before everything goes dark. I must have passed out because I feel someone jostling me out of the car. I mumble, "Jake dude just a few more minutes," as I try to pull away from the embrace.

"Sir, please don't move until we get the brace on," I hear, but it sounds far away. The what? What brace?

I open my eyes and pain shoots through my skull. Things are a bit blurry, but I can see that the windshield is shattered into tiny little pieces.

As I look over to the driver's seat, I see Jake sitting back in his seat, eyes closed. Normally, I would say he looks peaceful, but I notice all the blood covering his face. I quickly shake off the pain and surpass the light-headed feeling and the cold to reach out for Jake.

"Dude, wake up!" What the hell happened? I'm trying to figure things out but my head feels woozy and my sight begins to blur. I look at the hand touching Jake and realize that it's covered in blood, but I don't feel any reason for there to be so much blood. My hearing starts to come back and I hear all the sounds of sirens and people speaking so quickly; they don't make any sense to me.

I feel a slight tug to lift my chin and then something is being forced around my neck. I try and struggle but I can barely move now. I'm so tired and weak. I just want to sleep.

The last thing I hear before I succumb to the darkness is three letters; D-O-A. What's D-O-A? Wait… DOA! Who's DOA? Where's Jake? Then everything goes black.

I choke on the very thought of him pacing through my mind. I just can't afford to go there right now.

Looking in the mirror, I have a day's worth of scruff, and I know it has to go. Tonight, I need to exude charm and confidence when I step on the stage. When I finish my shave, I dress in a pair of jeans and a nice navy blue button down.

I start organizing my things. I already have my tux waiting for me in a changing room back at Fisher Hall. Grabbing all my stuff, I reach for my cell phone and see it's blinking. I grunt in disapproval, people know they're not supposed to bother me on performance days, so I know it has to be my family.

The first message is from Mom, wishing me good luck on tonight's performance. The family never attends the first show. They usually attend the second, so when we have the wrap up party, they can do all their high society crap.

The second voicemail is from my brother-in-law Jasper, his message mirroring Mom's and I begin to realize they were probably all asked to call me. Maybe they're starting to realize how much of a lost cause I am and they'll finally move on.

I'm surprised when the third message begins and I hear Mom's voice again. "Edward honey, I know you have a big night tonight and I know its last minute, but I have a huge favor and I need you to call me right away."

That message was about 3 hours ago when I was sound asleep. God, that woman never rests. She's always been the first to rise in the morning and one of the last ones to go to bed.

Fourth message: "Edward, okay, I know you probably need to sleep in a little, but honey, it's almost 11am." She sounds exasperated and I have to chuckle. She still treats me like a teenager.

Just as I'm about to go to the next message, my phone vibrates for a brief second in my hand and before I can hit ignore, my stupid phone accidentally answers itself. I must've brushed the answer button with my finger. Goddammit, I'm starting to really hate these touchscreen phones.

"Hello? Hello? Edward, are you there?" I sigh and answer, "Yes Mom, I'm here. How're you this morning?"

I can almost hear the smile in her voice. It's been a few weeks since I last spoke with her, and I know she's going to bug me to come for Sunday dinner, but those are just awkward with the happy couples and successful lives and their 'let's make Edward happy and set him up' bullshit.

"Oh honey, I'm so glad I got a hold of you. Peter is sick and Alice has to stay at home with him. You know how much she worries." I can't help the smile that graces my face, letting out a small snort. If that's not the pot calling the kettle black…

She continues with barely any pause, but I'm sure she heard the sound I made and is probably smiling like the Cheshire cat right now.

"She was supposed to bring me some stuff for the church and she just can't leave Peter with a nanny when he's got a fever. Would you mind picking it up for me? The church isn't too far from the Hall. Do you think you could drop it off before your sound check this afternoon? It would mean so much to me and I haven't seen you in so long. I miss that handsome face of yours."

When she starts to go all 'I miss you', I feel a slight pang of guilt; I don't want to cause my family any pain, I just wish they would let me drown in my pit of darkness. But I know they never will. No matter how much I push them away, they'll always pull me in and hold on tightly.

"Mom, I can't, really. Today's the big day and with all the changes made, we really need this time to make sure everyone is set up right."

Normally, when I mention anything that has to do with my music, she lets it go without an argument, but today seems to be a bit different, she's not taking no for an answer. It must be serious.

"Edward, you have done so many shows by now and if I know better, you were probably just there yesterday, setting up and getting everything situated. I promise I won't take up much of your time. It'll just be a quick grab, drop, and go." How can I argue with that? The woman always seems to find a way to pull me in, even when I have a show.

"Sure mom. I have to grab a few things first then I'll head over to Alice's in about five minutes. Tell her to have everything ready, because I can't risk getting sick tonight." That should work. Two birds, one stone and all that. Say hi to my sister, hug and kiss my mom, and I should be good to go AWOL for another few weeks.

"Perfect, honey! Drive safe. See you soon." I say my goodbyes and switch keys. I planned to take the Vanquish to the theater tonight, but I'll need more storage space, so I grab the keys to my Volvo S60 Polestar.

The drive doesn't take too long. I have my travel bag in the front seat so I can fold down the back seats. Mom texts me again, thanking me for helping her out and apologizing for throwing this on me last minute. I pull up into Jasper's vacant spot in the parking garage right next to my sister's canary yellow XC90 Supercharged V8 Volvo.

When she found out she was pregnant, she traded in her sweet sports convertible for the Mommy-mobile. I think the reason she picked out that model above all others was for its name. Supercharged describes her to a tee.

I barely have a chance to turn the engine off and step out of the car before I'm attacked by my mini me. My sister and I have the same face but where my hair turned out copper, hers is raven-black and today, she has it curled out in some kind of hip mom look or something. I can feel the energy vibrating through her body as she hugs me tightly.

"Hey there, Flash, I hear you have a package for me?" I ask, hoping she'll let me get to the point and get out of here. "Well hello to you too, Mr. Invisible. Are you excited for tonight? This is your last show for a while, right?"

The Philharmonic will be going on break for a month, after traveling across all of North America for the past three months. I'll definitely enjoy that time to get away to be free and as fucked up as I want to be. I know most of the people who also play appreciate the down time. They go see family, go on vacations, and just waste their time doing whatever.

"Yup, last show and then who knows? Maybe I'll just do some traveling or something." Her smile falters slightly at my admission. I know she had hoped for a family get together, but I'll do anything in my power to avoid doing that.

"Well dear brother, maybe the whole family will just have to travel with you if we want to spend any time with you." She smiles as my face goes slack because I know she's not kidding. She would have the whole family travel with me wherever I went, if it was up to her. That is after all, how they all moved out here to New York City.

"Well, we shall see. Now about those boxes..."

She holds up her hands and presses her key fob. As the trunk opens, I see a medium-sized box and five large Burlington bags. "I thought I was just picking up a few used items for some bums at the church. What did you do? Buy out the whole damn store?" She gives me a slightly exasperated look and I know if I don't fix this, she'll go off on some long ass rant about ethics and humility and blah, blah, blah. Before she says anything I say, "I'm sorry. I know your heart is in the right place, and I'm sure those less fortunate will appreciate all your heartfelt donations."

That seems to appease her as her smile grows while she hugs me again quickly and kisses me on the cheek. Before she pulls away, she whispers, "I miss you, Edward," in my ear. I try not to show the pain her words cause me, because I don't want to be missed. No one should feel that way about me. They should just let me go and live their own lives.

I wrap her up in my arms for one last hug before releasing her and grabbing the items from the trunk. Once I get everything situated in my car, Alice mentions she has one more forgotten bag in the house. I try not to get irritated with her, but I'm on a time crunch. We step off the elevator, walking up to the door when it opens and suddenly Peter is standing there wearing some kind of long john pajamas with little super heroes on them. "Mommy, I don't feel so good," he mumbles out in a raspy voice.

"Hey there, little guy. I hear you're feeling sick. I hope you get better real soon." He smiles a toothy little grin and I see a missing front tooth; I wonder when that happened. I quickly shake it off as Alice goes to hug her little boy. She whispers something in his ear and he smiles and wanders back into the apartment. Alice runs in after him but quickly returns, handing me the extra bag.

"So Sunday dinner at Mom and Dad's?"

She looks at me waiting for my answer. I don't want to disappoint her so I try to placate her, "We'll see! I'll call you later." She knows I won't call her, so she gives me a half-hearted smile and closes the door as I head off to the church. I know Al must be worried about her son if she let me off so easily.

It only takes me twenty-five minutes to get from her apartment to the church, and I'm lucky there's a spot right out front. I pull up and shoot a quick text to my mom letting her know I'm here. A few moments later she's walking out the church door with another lady who I should remember the name of, but don't. I pop the trunk and get out of the car. I may be an ass to everyone else, but this is my mom after all, so I hug her in greeting. I open the back door and the lady takes the first 3 bags I hand to her and my mom takes the next two. She looks dwarfed by the large bags but she carries them as if they were weightless. I grab the box, closing the trunk and locking the car before setting the alarm.

Carrying the box in for her and taking it through the entrance, I get a little lost and can't seem to find my mom. Just my fucking luck! I walk into a big room filled with a few tables and see what looks to be blankets, sleeping bags, and tents sitting on the floor.

Setting the big box down by some curtains in the direction I am pretty sure my mom went off in, I wait, not quite sure what to do and not willing to just leave her box anywhere and run. I open it to see what's inside and it's filled with a bunch of Alice's old clothing. Some stuff I've never seen but there's a long sleeved sweater that I remember her wearing back in high school. That's my sister, the clothing pack rat. After realizing the package isn't very valuable, I close it up and leave it so I can walk around.

It's been so long since I've been in a church. The last time was, well, Jacob's funeral. Giving my head a little shake I wander off, finding the sanctuary. The stained glass looks very old but classic and elegant in the way you would see some old churches in Italy. The pews are worn from the many people who have found their solace in them. I sit in one of the back rows and look up at the painted ceiling. It's blue with constellations of stars painted across. I can't help but stare. It seems a bit overwhelming, but fitting for its audience. I love the emptiness of the space. I would consider it kind of peaceful if it wasn't for the memories it tries to invoke.

I reach over and pick up one of the hymnals from the bench next to me, rubbing my fingers across the worn leather and the embossed letters of "BIBLE." I'm just about to stand and leave when a movement on stage right catches my attention. It's probably the priest or one of his parishioners, but then I hear the sound of a piano key echoing off the walls. This room has amazing acoustics. Then I hear another note; it sounds like someone is fiddling with the church's piano. It could be anyone, but the keys that soon follow are played in a beautiful crescendo, I can't help but stay and listen.

I soon hear the sounds of Prelude No. 4 in F Major by Robert D. Vandall. A song I've played many times before. This person is playing it flawlessly. It was first taught to me by an amazingly talented pianist when I was looking into schools. It's not an easy piece and I would love to see who's playing but I can't from this seat. I go to move forward to find a place to get a better view, but when I do, the Bible slips off my lap, hitting the ground with a huge slap that echoes off the walls. The music abruptly ceases and I hear the bench of the piano slide on the floor. I soon see a beautiful brunette woman standing up, looking scared and nervous. She's twiddling her fingers in front of her, looking at me like a deer caught in the headlights. She looks as though she's about to say something when I hear my mother call out for me.

"Edward, are you in here?" I turn in the direction of her voice reluctantly, just in time to see her walk through the same way I entered. "There you are. I thought you left already, but your car was still out front. Thank you for everything. You even managed to drop the box in the right place!" She smiles politely. She looks from me to the girl in the front of the room. "Oh Bella, I'm glad you're still here," she says and the name Bella echoes through my mind like the tones of the piano off the walls.

"Yeah mom, I have to go. I'm gonna be late," I say, needing to find an exit before she can do or say anything else. With a quick kiss to her cheek, I walk the direction I came in with a sense of urgency. It feels almost like running away, but I guess I am. I don't ever notice when a woman's beautiful, I notice when she's sexy or fuckable, but never beautiful. So what's so different about this one?

After arriving at the Hall, I realize I'm not as early as I would have liked, and there are many other musicians scattered around. I quickly hurry off to my changing area and switch out of my jeans and button down and into my tux and my buffed chloroforms. I get a quick glass of water and make my way toward the stage. A few words with the composer and everyone is readying their instruments. The piano is set up on an elevated stage to the left of the orchestra and we are five minutes to curtains up.

When the curtain rises, there's a small round of applause that seems blurred as I lose myself in the music. I play through tonight's compositions like the robot that I've become, not feeling anything. I'm ready for this to be over so I can go have some fun… or as much fun as I can really let myself have at this point. We finish up the set with Piano Concerto in C Major by Ralph Vaughan Williams and my mind is conjuring up images of the brunette from the church. Once we're finished and everyone is scattered around chatting, I disappear again, off to my changing room to get out of my monkey suit and back into my casual wear.

I quickly pull out my cell and dial J. My mind has run rampant today with too many unwanted thoughts and I feel a little out of control. Being with J always helps me find my center.

Fate apparently had a plan for tonight because as luck found me, J needs an assistant with her class. It would be beneficial for both of us. Tonight's lesson will give me what I need and J the specimen needed to keep the lessons on track.

Once I arrive at the bar, I'm quickly escorted downstairs by the bouncer, Felix. I can tell he was on lock-down because he didn't utter a single word the entire time we walked together which suited me just fine. I wasn't in much of a chatty mood.

Once we pass the classroom which is just a large room with chairs and small coffee tables surrounding a small stage in the center, we enter J's private room. She's already dressed in her red leather corset dress, with her very expensive breasts barely concealed by the fabric. It's good to see her. With all the traveling, it's been awhile and aside from Felix who is kneeling in front of his mistress, we have no preamble with our relationship. She smiles brightly before wrapping me up in her arms.

When I first moved into the city after the accident, I was a wreck. I found out J had watched me for three hours at her bar before she confronted me. By then, I was so drunk, I could barely stand. I had ended things with my fiancée and found no joy in living. Back then, I guess I was a talkative drinker and found myself spilling my guts to J's brother, Alec, the bartender. Alec told J everything and between the two of them, I was escorted upstairs to a back office. There was a plush couch pushed up against one wall, directly in front of an ornate desk with a red velvet chair where J ended up spending the night while I slept it off on her couch.

The next morning I awoke on her couch, confused and hung over. My head was throbbing, but all I wanted to do was consume more and fall back into my dreamless stupor. She wouldn't allow that though. She handed me a few Tylenol and a couple of bottles of water and started to prattle on about needs, desires, control, and reawakening. The one question she asked that nearly knocked me off the couch was if Jacob was here right now, would this be how he would want me to spend my life. I crumbled and she didn't even comfort me or offer me any counsel. She did, however, tell me there was a way I could get control back. Before I could do that though, I needed to let go of all control and trust in her to help me. At first I thought she was some kind of counselor and she did reveal to me that she had a degree in Psychology, but she wasn't your normal therapist.

She was a dominatrix.

She was a teacher of many things. She taught me how to control my vices and desires and not let them control me. She explained to me how some of the chronic pain I suffered due to the car accident was a lot more mental. Though there was still some damage, I was functional when I allowed myself to be. She trained me as her Sub and eventually helped me vent a lot of my darkness into more creative ways. In doing all that, she brought me back to my piano.

After a while, I started to want more and not with her. She had her rules and I had my desires. She trained me to become a Dom, but it wasn't a lifestyle I wanted to live. However, it did teach me control.

J and I had become good friends. She was the only person who understood me and truly knew everything I went through that first year. Even though we weren't together, every once in a while I assisted with classes and she kept me legal in my vices.

When she releases me from the hug, she looks into my eyes. Sometimes I swear this woman can see straight through me. I know she wants to ask, but with a quick shake of my head, her smile fades and she accepts my refusal without questions.

"It's been too long," she coos, and I know our game is about to begin. I smile but don't say a word, as tonight, I am her example. I will be her training subject and we'll be performing in front of her class. Two shows in one day for me; one of which I was aimlessly following my basic instinct and now this show, I would need to focus and find my control or be made a fool of.

"I need you to strip down completely before you enter the classroom. Please enter in Sub mode. The students will be looking to you as an example in control and also a lesson in release," she states purposefully. I feel my cock twitch in my jeans, rising to the voice of Mistress J. My body hums for release; the excitement of being on display in front of so many people is euphoric. She exits the back room and her voice demanded control as she spoke with the people in the other room, explaining tonight's lesson and giving them the 'learn with your eyes not with your hands' speech… aka do not masturbate during class.

I chuckle as I undress. So many people didn't understand that rule and many Doms have had to be excused from class with their sub for failure to comply. When I'm fully naked, I put everything on the chair in the room and wait for my introduction.

I love the little double entendre name she gave me and I get a little thrill out of being introduced as Mister E. I walk in keeping my eyes downcast on the floor, dropping to my knees at the edge of the stage with my arms clasped behind me, as per the norm in a teaching atmosphere. I can feel the eyes of everyone in the room burning into my skin, the labored breaths of those enjoying the view of my naked form and hard cock on display.

"Mister E, come to me and sit your ass in the wooden seat." I do as I'm told, having performed this exact lesson a few times for different students. Once seated, I keep my head down and focus on her every word.

"Class, tonight's lesson will be to reward good sub behavior and for the sub to maintain control over their release. This lesson works both ways whether you are a female or male, sub or Dom." She grabs two sets of cuffs; one set for the wrists, and the other for the ankles. J bounds both my wrists behind the chair which arches me outwards. If I was a woman, my breasts and genitals would be put on full display in the worship seat. My sack is tight and my cock is hard and the seat gives her full access to both. The seat has a cradle on the bottom for the head of whoever is running the session. It can be used for pleasure or pain, but tonight I'm on the receiving end of pleasure.

I sit staged as she goes on to describe the many uses of the seat, the many rewards and punishments. It's a display in control alone that I don't come like a teenage boy when she discusses some of the examples. She then addresses me, "Mister E, you are to remain silent until otherwise told. You are to come only when I say you can. Do you understand?" I remain silent. This is a test and many of the newbies grumble at my lack of response, but this is why they are here, to learn.

I can feel the smile in Mistress J's voice as she speaks. "You may respond, Mister E. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Mistress," I say confidently.

"Very good! Now, do you know your safe word?" she asks.

Knowing that she already gave permission to speak during this time, I answer, "Yes, Mistress." I hear the heels of her knee high boots clicking closer towards me, yet I remain still, head bowed. She sinks to her knees as her hand strokes and pulls my hard cock. It all seems very clinical as she describes what needs to be met and what can be done with this position. She also explains the variances if the roles are reversed with a female sitting bound to the chair. She removes her hand from my length, pulling and twisting my sack and massaging my balls with such precision, a bead of cum leaks from the head of my dick. She releases her hands from me completely, and I almost weep loudly at the loss of contact.

I breathe heavily through my nose and out my mouth, trying to maintain control. I so want her to finish and let me have my release, but this is a lesson and now that my body has responded, she must explain how to continue. I tune out her lesson and try to remain in control, but without the distraction, my brain tries to bring up situations to help alleviate the lack of touch my body craves.

J knows I'm here for a reason, and she tries to keep her tutelage to a minimum, but I'm rewarded when her tongue flicks out across the top of my swollen head and she laps up the pre-cum like a kitten. She's doing this to show the class that although she controls the pleasure, it's the sub's desire to please their Dom that keeps them from coming.

After some whispered words of understanding from the class, she speaks to me and I tune back into her words when my nickname is addressed. "Mister E, I give you permission to speak. Since you have been such a well behaved boy, I will soon give you your release. But you're not granted that just yet." This is another part of her lesson; the class needs to know I am enjoying what is being done and granting me permission to speak isn't as open as you would expect. When you're a sub, you may speak, but you're still limited. You can't make demands, you can't show lack of respect, and most importantly you can't come; all more examples in control.

Once I acknowledge her with a "Yes, mistress," she places her hand around the base of my cock and pulls it to her lips. I moan as her tongue twirls around the tip of my length, her movements an over-exaggeration so the class can see a lot of what is happening. A few open moans from the students mean they, too, are fighting their own arousal. My build-up growing stronger, I manage to moan and groan out a few "Thank you, Mistress's." Her other hand grasps my sack as she massages the tense skin.

I fight harder and harder to remain in control. No expletives are allowed to leave my mouth; I know how she would punish me - with an end scene and no release in sight. She knows I'm close to coming, as I feel the tip of my dick slide down the back of her throat. J has no gag reflex, but she swallows my cock with a little difficulty due to my size and length. She covers well, though, so the class is none the wiser. I feel her moan around me as the need to release into her throat tries to overtake me. Before I can make such a huge mistake, she releases me.

Pure hell is all that runs through my mind. I want to come beyond anything else. No other need surpasses that. It's what I need, and it's a miracle that I control myself. She helps me to find that lost control by refusing me what I want when I want it. Instead I'll only get what I need when I deserve it. She explains to the class how even as the Dom, she finds desire in pleasing me as well as being pleased by me.

Once everyone seems to understand, she looks to me and I can barely see through my hair as it's matted with sweat. She smiles and says, "Mister E, I give you permission to come, but you will remain silent." There's no question, no need to respond. What she's doing is taking away what last bit of control she could give me in the scene.

Without another word she starts again, I'm so close. Words form on the tip of my tongue, but I bite them back. Moans and grunts in the back of my throat never leave my lips and her mouth sinks down on me once again. The walls of her mouth remove any air as she becomes a vacuum, sealed tight along my length; it's almost painful. Her hand pulls at my sack with no tenderness. The pain is comforting. This is power and it's all hers. All I have is my voice and I can't use it. Being strapped in the chair as she works me over with her mouth, I lift my head to the sky, squeezing my eyes shut and letting go of any control I thought I had. In a euphoric moment met in nothing but silence, I come hard. A small grunt leaves my lips. My muscles slowly slackening and the release of a small groan is the class's confirmation that I have finally reached my climax and the Mistress's job is done. She swallows my seed and licks me clean.

I'm in my euphoria stage as she slowly unbinds my ankles, rubbing the marks left there as my body strains against the shackles of my bondage. She then releases my arms and a new pain is renewed in me from the position I was in. I slump forward, basking in the burn throughout my body. It's like hitting the ground running, as the floating feeling wears off and I'm once again in my body, alert and awake from the burn.

J finishes her class and calls for a fifteen minute break. She escorts me to the backroom where Felix is still bent in his position, awaiting his Mistress's return. I know from experience, sitting in that position for so long can be extremely painful, but if I know J, her needs will soon be met by her very submissive and very willing partner.

I begin to dress, all signs of her being in control gone. I was her puppet for the class but once her need for me is done and my need for her is met, we're just Edward and Jane.

Once I'm dressed, she hugs me and we make plans to meet up later on in the week to talk. Basically, she's letting me know that although I didn't want to talk about it earlier, I would soon have no choice. Like I said, she's one of the few people I still consider a friend, and I can't deny her the desire she has to be just that. I nod, still feeling a little lightheaded from the scene.

I leave to head home after kissing her on the cheek and waving goodbye. It's late and I crave the comfort of my bed. Without any other thought, I drive home and collapse, a spent heap into the pillows where sleep claims me.

End notes:

TWL: Wow SSST! I don't even know where to begin. How bout I first wipe the drool off of my chin. Who knew our dominating Eddie-boy could be such a good submissive?!

SSST: I know it's long and filled with so much to take in. I wonder how everyone feels after that flashback. I hope everyone now sees that he's not a complete ass; he's just suffering in silence.

TWL: I'm sure they will understand a little better now. Poor guy - to go through all that just to help gain a little control back in his life? You did a great job, allowing us into his crazy and sad head.

So… he saw Bella and can't get her out of his head now? Hmmm… I can't wait to see where this goes from here.

SSST: Yes! He saw Bella and a few other characters and we even hinted at a few unknown characters… I wonder who that might be.

OK readers, here's the part where you tell us what you think and give us all your love, hate or just kinda like. Also, be sure to seek shelter at The Wanderer's Refuge on Facebook (which can be found on TWL's FFnet profile, by clicking her name at the top of this page). We give picture teasers on Wednesdays and a small chapter teaser the Thursday before update.

I can't wait to read Bella's POV in two weeks. I wonder what she will think of seeing Edward again. *TTFN*

TWL: Well I guess you're just gonna have to wait, huh?!

See y'all in two weeks! Remember, reviews make us happy… and they're what keep us writing.

*waves goodbye*