Carlisle and I stood motionless as the door closed behind the two detectives.

"Sorry, Swanny; I think it's back to the drawing board."

I let out a breath and slouched against the door. Being a vampire might be absolutely useless, but hearing the thoughts of those around you was damn helpful at times. Detective Newton suspected nothing; his one-track mind was too busy thinking about fucking anything that moved—his wife, Detective Swan, my mother and sisters. But I had no idea what Detective Swan thought, and my family was counting on me to tell them. Better than my mind reading, was Alice's ability to see the future. We'd known the detectives were coming today, thank Christ. I popped out the brown contacts Esme had the sense to tell me to put in and waited. A fight was coming.

The rest of the family slowly descended the stairs as the detectives' footsteps retreated from the house. We finally heard the opening and closing of car doors before the engine revved, and they drove away.

Then the growling started.

Within a single instant, six vampires rounded on me. Rosalie, Emmett, and Jasper were in my face, all snarling loudly.

"Could you be any weirder?"

"You ass! You just gave her everything she needs to deepen her investigation of us!"

"You endangered us all."

My lip curled back in a sneer, but I held my ground while they loomed over me.

Amidst the yelling, I could hear Esme pleading for everyone to calm down before Carlisle finally pushed through the crowd and grabbed my shoulders.

His kind, patient face filled my field of vision; he would cast no blame on me for today's visit.

"Edward, are we in any danger of being under investigation?" Carlisle asked, trying to maintain his façade of calm.

Of course, Carlisle would refer to us collectively. He wouldn't single me out as the source of trouble. He gave my shoulders a supportive squeeze as he raised his eyebrows in expectation of my answer.

"I-I don't know."

The moment of silence was anticlimactic; however, this time I knew the yelling would follow.

"What do you mean 'you don't know'?" Rosalie snapped. "Isn't that what you do? Invade people's thoughts?"

Usually? Yes, I did have that ability to hear others' thoughts, but I'd hit my first anomaly when I'd encountered the good detective. The truth was about to come out, and I knew I would not feel better unburdening myself. "I haven't been completely honest regarding my introduction to Detective Swan."

That was an understatement.

Carlisle dropped a hand from my shoulder, and I instantly felt shame for having disappointed him again, and for lying to my family. They'd done their part and welcomed me back in the fold, and I hadn't been able to uphold my end of the bargain.

"Why don't we sit down?" he suggested with a heavy sigh. I didn't need to read his mind to know he didn't recommend it for comfort. Maybe everyone will just relax if we sit down. I knew he felt some responsibility about today. He'd tried to keep the detective as far away from me as possible earlier, but it had backfired splendidly.

I caught the glares, exasperated huffs, and pitiful expressions as I moved to sit next to Carlisle at the head of the table. Esme took the seat across from me where Detective Swan had sat only moments ago, while Alice took the seat next to me, linking her arm through mine in a demonstration of camaraderie.

I felt Alice's grip slip from my arm as I propped my elbows on the cherry wood table and let my head fall into my waiting hands. "I-I don't know what to say," I began.

Always a drama queen, Rosalie thought, knowing full well I'd be listening. Yeah, there were times when reading people's minds was positively fucking annoying.

Carlisle reached over to pat my shoulder. "Just start at the beginning."

I didn't even understand the beginning, and I'd lied about everything thereafter.

"I went to get a newspaper yesterday. I'm not sure why, I just felt restless—a compulsion to go into town. Instead of grabbing a paper from the bookstore and returning home, I sat in the late-morning quiet of the café to read."

I hadn't hunted in a while, and felt edgy as I drove into town. I needed some piano wire, and I was interested in how the Rochester Police Department was dealing with the serial murders in the city. Naturally, I knew exactly what was going on. I was intrigued by the young detective on the case. I had seen her on the news the night before and was captivated by her intelligence, composure, and her resolve.

I had been so engrossed in my reading that I failed to notice I was no longer alone at the cafe. To say I was surprised to see the object of my newfound curiosity right in front of me was an understatement.

"Detective Swan was sitting outside on the patio, reading." I bypassed the part about her eye-fucking me and spilling her coffee. I had been so enchanted with watching her, that I had no idea I couldn't hear her. Her face had been so animated. She scowled as she read the article about the case, her lips pouting, her brow furrowing. Each time she swept a loose lock of hair behind her ear, I licked my lips watching her fingertips caress the mahogany tresses. It drew my attention to her enticing neck and the creamy, white skin that flowed into her décolletage. Seeing the narrow expanse of skin above the waist of her pants and the tight curve of her ass when she jumped out of her chair after she spilled the coffee was enough to put my mind into a tailspin of delusional thoughts. I imagined curling my fingers around her hipbones and drawing them toward mine. I should have been ashamed, but I wasn't. "When she entered the café, I felt like I had been slammed, and I was overwhelmed, by the scent of her. It was unlike anything I'd ever experienced."

It wasn't just the sweet, floral bouquet of her blood that called to me, but I could just imagine how exquisite she would taste, my face buried between her thighs, parting her folds with my tongue. The urge was so primal and possessive. As Bella stood there in the café, frozen in fear, I imagined fulfilling my every desire with her body. The fantasy involved more than me sinking my teeth into her flesh and drinking her lifeblood. The yearning desire in my groin reminded me that I wanted to bury myself deep within her while my teeth punctured her carotid artery, so I could drink my fill. Vampires rarely shared food and mates, and I would be no exception. I was thinking about where I could lure the detective so we could be alone. Thinking back on how desperately I just wanted to take her body in every way made the fact that I could sit across from her today without incident a miracle.

I'd been celibate too long.

"So I left immediately."

At least he had the strength to leave.

I looked up in Carlisle's direction. If Carlisle only knew how much strength it had truly taken to leave. To be honest, I wasn't even sure I could leave the café that day. After I'd watched her spill her coffee, and had to adjust my pants, the need to know the inner workings of her mind was insatiable. She'd hopped around the patio, trying to avoid spilling the coffee on herself, and I couldn't help but let myself smile as I watched her. She blushed the most delicious color of scarlet, and I knew that the day's exchange was not enough. It would never be enough. I wanted to know what she was thinking and where she was going. I let my mind reach out, searching for the timber of her thoughts, but I was stunned by the rebounding silence. I furrowed my brow, concentrating deeper, confused by my faulty radar. I waited, searching, listening, angered by the quiet. I scowled and looked over at the barista, watching her pick the polish off her nails. I zoned in on her mind easily.

I wish that asshat would just buy something. What the hell does he come in here for anyway?

So the block clearly wasn't me. I looked back at the detective, watching as she yanked open the door to the coffee house in clear frustration. I was about to flash her another smile and try reading her mind again, when my throat was alight with the flames of thirst, scorching my tongue, causing the venom to flow unimpeded, doing nothing to sooth my simmering flesh.

As Isabella Swan approached the counter, I took a step closer to her, pulled by the delicious scent of her that hung in the air. I swallowed obsessively, drinking in the sweet scent of her blood—and the rich tang of her arousal.

Had my thoughts been coherent, I would have explained away her desire as the simple, human laws of attraction that draw them to our kind. We had to entice our prey, after all, but I didn't want to want to take another human life. I hated seeing the disappointment in the corners of Carlisle's mind—the corners he thought he kept private. Moreover, I hated the way I felt about myself after I was done drinking from a human victim; the glassy, wide-eyed gaze, the grey pallor, and knowing I would have to dispose of the body. I was fighting every instinct I had to quickly close the distance between us. I was consciously aware of the two far less-appealing scents nearby, and remembered there were two insignificant baristas also in the cafe, but they were already collateral damage in my mind. I could dispose of them so quickly.

The detective turned around, sending another gust of sweetly tainted air in my direction, and my foot itched to take another step closer, just a little closer. I had never smelled anything so delicious in my existence. Ever. Had I known something so luscious was out there, I would have gone to the deep end of the ocean and back to find it. No man or woman I had ever encountered in my decades of human pursuit had smelled so appealing. I had wasted years of my subsistence drinking far less palatable alternatives that paled in comparison to this lush bouquet.

My body was coiled, ready to spring, and I could feel the tightness all the way down to my core. My limbs shook with the force of holding stock still, and my throat was alive with flames. I was consciously aware that my cock was hard; throbbing with the ache of wanting to take her and make her mine before I drank her dry.

In front of me, the beautiful detective's heart pounded furiously against her ribcage, her blood coursing rapidly through her veins, bringing a few more moments of life to her body—before I inevitably took that life away. She backed up against the counter, the fear evident on her face as her lips trembled and the adrenaline coursed through her system, igniting her fight or flight response.

I licked my lips, tasting a hint of her scent in the atmosphere. She would be delectable.

I felt the growl rumbling low in my heaving chest, the monster aching to get out and take what was right in front of it. And then I saw it—the demon reflected back at me in her eyes, and I heard her whimper. Christ, why was this so hard?

I heard the whirring of the espresso machine wind down and the barista tamp the last drips of that disgusting-smelling liquid out of the percolator. It was now or never.

I knew Carlisle would be so disappointed in me, waffling on my choice to drink an innocent girl's blood. He couldn't clean up or overlook a choice like this. Mistakes happen, yes, but I wanted to be better. I could never be like him, ever, but I wanted better than what I was. I hadn't been back on the wagon long enough though, and there had been 'mistakes.'

I held my breath, willing myself to forget the smell of Bella Swan's blood. The barista returned to the counter, and I took my chance and dashed out of the café at inhuman speed, not looking back.

"It was a close call," I confessed with a growl, tugging on my hair. I closed my eyes, blocking out the expressions on my family's faces. They ranged from shock and disappointment, to anger and apathy. I could ignore their appearance, but I could not ignore their thoughts radiating outward.

He's gonna fuck up again, I just know it.

I thought he really turned over a new leaf.

Son, I believe in you. Be strong.

I clenched my fists, shaking with the effort of remaining calm. "It was a close call, but I'm not going back to my old ways," I spat through clenched teeth.

'My old ways' was a familiar euphemism, which roughly translated to 'a few decades of hunting humans.' I wasn't proud of myself, but at the time I needed to escape from my family as three new relationships surfaced, and I was left the odd man out. It had been difficult to watch Carlisle choose a mate, but it ultimately didn't change our established relationship—he was still the father figure I never had. But when Carlisle rescued Rosalie, the intended romance with her never happened; yet she bonded with Emmett. I took it personally. I didn't want her, but a part of me wanted her to want me. I struggled for a couple decades to tolerate the newly forged relationships that I wasn't a part of. It wasn't until Jasper and Alice found us that despair truly washed over me. They were so wrapped up in each other, so content in one another, and I realized there must be something wrong with me. I had never felt so alone, like such a waste of creation, or so doomed to be alone. I kept my distance from the family and developed an, 'Oh, fuck it all' attitude rather quickly. I figured, since I was already damned to hell, I might as well earn my reputation. I was sorry, however, that I began my dark descent into hunting humans. I wasn't even sure how it had happened, but once I started… it had been impossible to stop.

I knew all six of them would have tolerated my glum outlook on life, but I couldn't bear their hope and happiness as they were all wrapped up in each other. I needed out; I needed away. I was angry and I resented every aspect of myself and the horrible half-life I'd been condemned to. I desperately wanted to explore the life I was intended to live.

Though I spent decades hunting humans, the experience didn't fulfill the emptiness I felt. For some time I hunted anyone whose blood appealed to me. Between the vampire conscience Carlisle had instilled in me, and the fact that I could hear the thoughts of those I pursued, I eventually began hunting society's scum—the corrupt, child abusers, murderers, rapists, and adulterers. It did little to ease my ethics or satisfy my appetite any more than Carlisle's lifestyle had. I was just as miserable and just as alone as I ever had been. I went months without hunting anything, attempting to purge myself of the taste for human blood. The entire occurrence left me jaded, bitter, and dark, but I was resolute to reaffirm Carlisle's way of hunting animals. It wasn't an easy change to re-adapt to, since change takes time for vampires…

"All right, so you were called by her blood; that's not unusual—we've all experienced that before. You did the right thing by leaving. What was she thinking when she saw your reaction in the café? Was she frightened?"

Oh, she was frightened all right.

I swallowed the venom that flooded my mouth at the memory of her cowering against the countertop. I knew I owed my family the truth, but that didn't mean I was comfortable sharing it. First off, I was admitting defeat; I had been bested. Second off, they weren't going to let me live it down.

"I, uh, I don't know what she was thinking. I can't read Detective Swan's mind."

It's not easy to surprise a vampire, but I'd fucking done it six times over.

Naturally, Rosalie was the first to recover, and she couldn't resist throwing the first jab. "What do you mean? I thought that was your 'thing,' mind-raping people?"

I chuckled humorlessly. "Yeah, me too, but her mind—" I gestured wildly, trying to pluck the words out of space to describe the blankness and frustration I felt. "It's just empty to me—there's nothing!"

I fisted my hair, irritated, thinking back on today's exchange. I only had the reactions of her body to go on, and she was sending out some mixed fucking signals. The stammer in her voice was a sure sign of fear. The irregular heartbeat and the adrenaline rushing through her system were a little more ambivalent, but there was no mistaking the fact that she was aroused. Her panties were nearly dripping by the time she'd left here today. That had been a surprise; most women didn't have that reaction unless I dazed them a bit with the power of suggestion.

"I only have her visceral reactions to base my guess on," I offered lamely.

I had almost lost it when I caught the first hint of her excitement today. God, she was mouth watering! Between the excited rush of adrenaline-laced blood and the musky scent of her—I almost was forced to leave the table, but I didn't think I could get up.

"And we all know how her body reacted," Emmett snickered.

Jasper smirked. "Those were some intense feelings, brother."

I spun around, stunned at my brother's admission. "What? You could feel what she was feeling?" I'd foolishly assumed that because her mind was impenetrable to my abilities that she would be resistant to my sibling's gifts as well. It seems the detective was one surprise after another.

He shrugged. "Of course, but it doesn't take an empath to know what she was feeling. Her heart was racing, you could smell the rush of adrenaline in her blood, and I could smell her…" Jasper coughed and smirked behind his hand, "arousal from the second floor."

Esme, Alice, and Rosalie all shot the snickering Jasper and Emmett dirty looks.

"Edward's sexual perversion aside, what are we going to do? We're—no, he's being investigated by the RPD. This is going to bring the Volturi down on our heads for sure." Rosalie slammed her palm down on the table, splintering the wood as her voice rose. "I'm not going on the run again. I've waited decades to come back to Rochester."

I swallowed, overwhelmed with a sense of guilt. I'd put this family through so much with my selfishness and mistakes; I couldn't do it again. I'd committed too many sins already, and I wouldn't risk their fate because of my incontrollable behavior.

Carlisle's thoughts were fractured in a dozen different directions. He was certainly worried about the Volturi's involvement if Detective Swan continued to investigate the family, even though there would be no evidence found at any of the attacks; vampires didn't leave evidence behind. It wouldn't matter if Aro determined that we'd violated the rules—and the rules were very fluid in his favor. He wondered if Rosalie was just exaggerating the perceived threat, or if there was cause to leave Rochester again.

Maybe we should just take the detective out? Copycat crime?

I stood up from the table, leaning across the flimsy barrier between me and my sister. "Leave her the fuck alone," I growled, punctuating each word with malice as I met Rosalie's golden gaze. Her lips turned up in a smirk. Why the sudden chivalry, Edward? I'm sure your thoughts weren't that pure an hour ago.

I was incensed, enraged. Was I jealous? Did I think that was my right to spill her blood? Is that what I wanted to do? The familiar trickle of venom flowing down my throat answered the question for me, but my thoughts quickly morphed toward a fantasy of an entirely different variety—Detective Swan and I joined, her body bowed and arching toward mine as she clawed at my back, drawing me closer. Her eyelids fluttered open, red irises gazing lustily up at me.

I growled and fisted my hair, tugging firmly, breaking my fantasy and channeling my anger toward my sister.

The family watched our little standoff with rapt attention, faces grim with apprehension. I couldn't answer her question. I had no idea where my 'chivalry' had come from, but I didn't want the detective to meet a sticky end because of something I'd done.

Carlisle sighed and scrubbed his face with his hands. "Edward, I—"

In that moment my mind was resolute, and I knew what needed to be done. I extended my hands, asking him to stop, and took a deep breath. "I think the best thing would be for me to—"

"No!"

Alice beat me to the punch, interrupting my announcement, and everyone turned their gaze first to Alice and then me.

"What is it?" Esme asked nervously, reaching across the table for my hand. I squeezed it absently before clasping my hands in my lap and summoned my courage.

"He's leaving!"

I dipped my head, shamed and embarrassed by amount of attention I was about to garner.

"Don't go, Edward, I know you're struggling with your desires, but you can overcome this," Alice pleaded. "I'm sorry, I know everyone is angry now, but let's work through it as a family."

Honestly, I wasn't sure if she was appealing to the family or to me. I knew Alice took my absence harder than the others, and I knew she felt responsible for my feelings of loneliness. It wasn't fair that she felt that burden, and I hoped I hadn't foisted it upon her.

"Edward, is that true? Are you leaving?"

Esme asked the words, but I couldn't look at her, so I looked at Carlisle. I could bear his disappointment; I was used to it.

I nodded glumly. "It's for the best. I won't be talked out of it."

Carlisle nodded too, knowing it was no use to argue about it. I had already made up my mind. "Alice, can you see any complications?"

She closed her eyes tight, shaking her head ever so slightly. "I don't know. I don't know what Detective Swan will do yet. Right now she doubts her own instincts because her partner doesn't have many thoughts on the matter."

That was an understatement. Her partner didn't have any thoughts besides wondering how he could get in her pants.

"Edward, I wish you wouldn't go. Alice is right, we can get through this as family."

Carlisle's words were comforting—a comfort I didn't deserve. I shook my head. "This isn't only for all of you, but for myself as well. I don't know why I crave Detective Swan as much as I do, but it's clearly not safe for me to be around her, and it's not safe for you all to be around me. I need some distance to put things into perspective again."

"But we've only been back together for a short while," Esme protested, reaching for me again. I couldn't take her hand now; if I did, I'd let her own emotions sway mine. I knew she envisioned us as one big, happy family, but evidently I couldn't take it. I'd only been back with them ten years and my resolve had already cracked. I'd long suspected the decades of drinking blood tainted with evil and darkness had affected and consumed me as well. I bore the sins my prey had committed and my own transgressions as well. It was a burden to carry, without question, but I'd done the wicked deeds and it was only fair that I suffered because of it. My victims weren't around to repent and redemption didn't matter to me. There was no heaven, and I was living in a hell on earth.

Drinking from the sinister changes a "person," and I still felt like a monster because of it.

I shook my head and looked down. "I'll leave tonight." I attempted to block out their thoughts, Esme's and Carlisle's in particular; I knew I was hurting them. I was good at that, but in my own way I was trying to protect them all. However, one thought cut through the noise buzzing in my brain much louder than the rest.

Coward.

I felt a growl rumble through my chest at Rosalie's accusation. "What would you have me do? Stay here and kill the detective investigating me? Alice will protect you. I know it's not fair to ask her to clean up my mess, but I think you'd rather this kind of mess than the damage I could cause."

"Alice isn't the resident mind reader. How will she be able to know what the detective is thinking if she comes back?" Rosalie snapped, leaning toward me from her side of the table.

I shook my head again. "She won't. But I can't read Swan's mind anyhow, and that pig of a partner of hers isn't thinking about the case at all. Jasper might do better monitoring her emotions and Alice will know when she's coming. There's no evidence to tie anyone here to the crimes, so there's no cause to assume the investigation will turn in that direction."

Rose was beyond listening to reason.

"Whether we like it or not, we're involved now because of you. I'm worried about the undue attention we'll cause! If you make the headlines the Volturi would be here tomorrow! In addition to that, I've waited a long time to come back to Rochester. I'm not ready to leave yet."

I wonder if she realized how much she sounded like the spoiled bitch she had been in her human life.

"Rosalie, the damage is done. Edward has raised Detective Swan's suspicions. The family will come together and deal with this situation we find ourselves in. If Edward thinks distance is the best asset he can provide to contribute, who are we to question him?"

This was when Carlisle was at his best. Truly. Not only did he refer to us as a collective once again, lopping out fate all together, but he gave me a subtle jibe too—as though he was asking me if I really needed a separation or if I was just looking for a means of escape. He wasn't outright questioning my decision and he'd never force my hand or speak directly for me. He was judicious, even-tempered and had far too much faith in me. I didn't deserve his trust.

I nodded once at Carlisle. "Be safe. I need to pack a few things, and I'll be gone tonight."

It was a weighty decision that did not come easily. I was wracked with guilt for leaving my family 'unprotected,' but while the detective was sniffing around and while I wanted to bury myself in her as I drained her dry, it would be best if I left.

I rose from the table, unable to look at them. The disappointment etched on their faces when I'd left several decades before still haunted my memories: Esme's hurt, Carlisle's disappointment, Alice's guilt, and Rose's lack of understanding. It seemed that I was good at evoking these emotions in them.

I sighed and felt my shoulders slump. It was an appropriate visceral reaction; I'd failed once again.

I tossed some brown-colored contacts into the open backpack that was lying on the window seat that overlooked the backyard and took one last glance around my room. My eyes took in my yawning closet doors and the clothes inside before trailing over to the vast collection of music that had kept me company over the last century. My brothers each had one woman, but I had many: Ella, Etta, Rosemary, Kay, Connie, and Joni—there were too many to count. They'd been my companions in the way I needed it most; my distractions, a beautiful voice to say all the right things, and no jealousy or want for commitment. I would leave them behind too. My eyes continued to roam over the personal effects I'd gathered over the last century. I liked being here amongst my own things, and I knew I was particular and snobby.

I wasn't forgetting anything; I was just delaying the inevitable.

I heard footsteps lightly ascending the stairs; I'd been expecting her.

It's me. Can I come in?

Of course it was Alice. Not only did I recognize her gait, but she was the only one who would approach me now.

I closed up my backpack and slumped onto the cushioned seat. "Only if you promise not to waste your breath by trying to talk me out of leaving. That's a done deal."

Okay.

She slipped in and closed the door behind her, her little feet barely making a sound on the carpet as she scuffed toward me, her head down. She flumped down next to me on the bench and looked over at me. "I lied," she admitted, and before I could stop her, she was in a full-blown tirade.

"Please don't go. I'm so sorry. I wish I had seen this coming, but I didn't. I'm sorry, I feel like I let everybody down. And I can't help but feel like Jasper and I bear some guilt in your leaving now, just like last time!"

"Alice, stop." I leaned forward, resting my elbows on my knees and letting my head fall into my open hands. I recalled the loneliness and way I felt out of place after Alice and Jasper had joined the family. "What happened in the seventies would have happened anyway. I let it happen; I needed to go and let you all be couples. I felt it coming on for thirty or forty years. I should have left sooner, but I'm glad I didn't because I wouldn't have grown so close to you." Alice was my kindred. Another freak like me. I felt a true sibling relationship with Alice; we understood one another.

"I think you're shitting me to make me feel better." The ghost of a smile lingered on her lips.

I pushed my fingers through my hair as I sat up. "Nah, I couldn't do that to you, Short Stuff," I said, nudging her with my elbow. "I just… I don't know how to just be. I've always felt like I've I'vebeen waiting for something. I don't know what, but it seems like you all have it, and I don't." I'd long suspected Esme was right and Carlisle had changed me too early. Maybe my Victorian morals got in the way, or perhaps I was a late bloomer, but something was wrong with me. I'd tried to find interest in fellow vampires, but no woman I'd met thus far held any real emotional interest for me. It didn't help that I never had to get to know anyone; their thoughts screamed at me every instant—loud, ugly, selfish thoughts. There was something different about Detective Swan, and I had no idea what it was or how it might play out if I stayed. "I'm not running away, I promise. I just need space—for our safety and the detective's."

Alice nodded. "I should be more understanding; we've all been there and made mistakes."

Despite her comment leaning toward acceptance of my choice, her head still drooped. She tried to distract me by sight-reading the sheet music to "Sonata Pathétique" by Beethoven. The guilt inside me surfaced, choking and uncomfortable.

"I know I'm an ass. Hopefully I won't be gone long. Just until the investigation is over."

I rose and grabbed my bag, slinging it across my back as I unlatched the window. I stepped up on the bench and looked down at my sister. "Goodbye, Alice. I'll be in touch."

She closed her eyes for a moment, lost in her thoughts, and smiled. "Sooner than you think."

I tugged gently on her hair before throwing the window open and jumping down one story to the ground below. The soil gave way under my tread. I situated the pack on my shoulders and took a deep breath before I started running, too afraid to look back, moving forward toward an unknown destination.

Author's Note: Thanks to Scorp112 & Little Miss Mionie from Project Team Beta for their hard work editing this!

My song rec for this chapter is "My Name is Trouble" by Nightmare of You.

Back to Bella for the next chapter. What do you think she'll do when she finds out Edward is on the run?