The Glass Self
IV "He Yearns: The Line of Mortals and Immortals"
The world is an ovary. Waiting for the seed; my poignant seed, to impregnate it with the revolution.
I really don't like her. I can't stand her. But, she has the capacity to help me out of my boredom. Well, to some extents; I mean there aren't many intellects in my university. It's just like high school, with those boys asking after me and telling me to join them to play video games. Naturally, I went at times, naturally, I didn't go at times. This intellect panders obliquely to what restless youths call entertainment.
" Hey, are we going...to that place today?" she asks me and I look indifferently.
" Yeah."
" Ok, afterwards, can we stop by your house?"
"No, not possible; my parents usually are home at that hour and sex with them around is seriously out of the question..." I mean I wouldn't want interruptions; they being the house didn't really matter.
" Yes...well..." she paused then she excitedly pressed her breast against my chest, " I'm happy we are spending time together; you and I have become so...distant..."
" That's life..." I say apathetically, almost rebuking; "It's bound to change and be in a flux..." Not for long though; if things go my way.
" Light, don't you find that Misa Amane to be ANNOYING?"
Ok, where are we going – "Why, do you ask?"
" I mean she follows you around if you are some kind of plushie..." Kiyomi seriously needed to shut-up, " I mean she's a very PROMISCUOUS person from what I heard."
You don't know anything, I've seen her everything – I thought she was promiscuous too (translation: slut – c'mon that's what you're trying to say) but I erred. Funny, I hate mistakes. There is always a 5 chance I make them. And at most times it can be altered to a zero.
" No, sorry, Kiyomi but I really don't feel like that..." Funny, I meant these words very highly.
" Oh..." she looked displeased, as if I had any intention of actually caring, " Well, I think she's infatuated with you..."
Oh, won't that be sexy? Won't that be gorgeous? Won't that be I thing I love, crave, hauntingly passionately, desirably WANT THE MOST??
YES
OH YES
THOSE WORDS
HAVE FUCKED ME
" Really, I don't think it's a fair account of her Kiyomi..." not to her...she has no right...to dominate Misa...Misa...soon, I can see it, MY MISA...because you are already mine...only mine...I'll kill Griffith if he tries to get any closer...Yup, that oddball can kiss his worthless life farewell...a shame, he does have prominent intelligence...he exercises them all so narrowly...
" But, Light, don't you think, she's a little THICK in the head?" You Bitch, how dare you...insult Misa...you fucking worthless slut...
" I don't think that conclusion is just either, I mean she spoke confidently and it was her that introduced Kira Vs L philosophy – funny, but we hadn't really thought of it as a central topic to talk about..." won't it be egotistical if I talked about myself...it might be suspicious and way too easy...I mean who knows more about Kira (myself) than me...?
" But Light we eventually would have; it isn't really a brainteaser." Sadly, so aren't you honey, " I mean those screwed words she used – embryology and feticide – I mean how kooky was that?" At least it sounded great; those concepts though abstract HAD A LOT OF MEANING. Misa, do you understand, my wish, to become a god?
" Yes, the Kira Vs L or L Vs Kira thingy is really going around a lot." Fancy me using the word thingy; I don't think I would use it in front of Misa, she might think I've lost my suaveness, " But, I think it is all more important to include it for those reasons."
" But...what about being original?" Kiyomi pouted, seriously, like you are?
" Listen Kiyomi," I really want to end this conversation, " Being original in this case is how you present the paper, we can't just delude ourselves and create anomalies where we want to besides Lawliet may want to help us and he seems interested –"
" Wait a minute! Lawliet! Are you shitting me?!" How dare you interrupt me, " Light! Seriously! That weird fuck will ruin our paper!"
" Weird he is... Fuck he is not..." slowly I calm the tempest, " You should know that his abilities are quite sovereign compared to the masses."
" Sovereign they may be Light , he is still no respectable individual; he is trash and that's why it's easier for him to stay with sluts like Misa!"
Oh...you are the whore my dear Takada...I'll show you your place tonight...
" Kiyomi, seriously can we stop discussing about matters that are not significant." I put down the brainteaser, I mean now what the fuck are you going to do? " I mean why do you have a superiority complex? Lawliet is a whore, Misa is weird..." Just to remind her that she doesn't really matter, to show her I wasn't listening... " I mean can't you be more co-operative? Where's your mind today? Seriously."
" Light...you..." Kiyomi looked weepy, Geez do I need to care now? " Don't understand...I'm merely making suggestions my love, you do please try to understand..." she took my hand and laid it on her breast, is this for arousal? I ain't a virgin you know, " Let's kiss and make-up ok dearie..." Or how about I just pull down your panties and fuck you like a wind-up doll, seriously, by your sleazy personality which has no class I think you were one of those designed automated dolls that losers use to ejaculate, " C'mon Light, baby, don't be angry." Oh My GOD, seriously are you my girlfriend or did I hire you to lick my ass?
I don't think she is what we call girlfriend. She is what really sexually guys and girls call pretend girlfriend; to label it sweetly – more like hiding the term sex slave or playmate or whatever...seriously, it sickens me that she is that category...Because, I want someone who is the goddess, the womb which the god I am to become will savour, give pleasure, arouse, challenge, converse and hold eternal companionship with. THE ONE I WILL LOVE...WHO WILL TEACH ME LOVE AND I WILL FOREVER ADORE HER AND RESPECT HER AS SHE IS THE GODDESS...NOT THIS SEX-DRIVEN HOLLOW HUMAN IN FRONT OF ME, SHE DISGUSTS ME...MISS TO-OH SHOULD BE MISS FUCK-ME...
What is her personality?
What is her intelligence?
What is her body?
What is her respect?
My body merges with hers yet my soul flinches and vomits at this physical union. Her orgasms are inundating her being while mine corners me into an abyss that pollutes me. I need a long shower after this.
And all I think is how society worships these women, these candlestick women, who cannot do anything but look beautiful, be the superficial. While bolder breeds capable to bring forth the orgasm called life are ignorantly ignored; this woman is opium and that is what she will be, a potent hallucination, a self made of glass, casted only for this momentary bliss, my momentary un-bliss that keeps me dully reminded that I am no god, yet – but a disgusting human who needs satiation.
Once I am the new god I will have my goddess for this and our union will be a cosmic revelation a birth of true caresses and climaxes and I will be monogamous, for how can a god mate with any other than his goddess? Please, I won't be a cheap god like that fool Zeus. I will be revered as divine retribution, divine ordainment and will also then see the heaven hypothesized by others but it will not be their theory, no, it will be far grander, far more poignant than these dull mortals have devised. I will be beyond Plato, Socrates, Aristotle, The Stoics and all Others because I will be unified with the universe.
I grew frenzied at this future which shall soon be mine...soon, oh, so soon, I know, I am so deep now into her place, this future makes my erection stronger, my body must release this euphoria.
Oh you poor slut, you think your stupid worthless body excites me, ok, I'll let you think that...for now...
She calls out my name as I feel my culmination drawing closer
I see the goddess calling out my name
Asking, Craving, Pleading for more
I am also pleading that she gets less exhausted...because I want her...
I see her
Not Takada
I see her ecstatic
Not Kiyomi
The goddess I want is screaming out my name
Not Kiyomi Takada
It's that angelic form, the true goddess
Misa Amane.
" Why is everyone thinking Lawliet is a loser," that's the last thing I want to hear, " I mean I saw these freshers acting like Saki and I lost it seriously because he's my friend." From her.
" Well, I mean, you can't really blame freshers – they are newbies so that's why they act like that..." I answer; really did I use the word newbie?
She looked amused and smiled, well I guess It was worth it – " But still," she went all serious again, "They are guys in your year who also condescend him."
" Well, people can't understand the ploys that promote those behaviourisms in Lawliet..." I answered, it was both truth and the act of creating an impression, " I mean I guess we were both sceptical about him before weren't we?"
" Yes, we were but..." she looked sad, oh, my dear beautiful darling, " I mean I didn't outright say stupid things and cruel statements about him just thought he was uncommon in some ways."
I realized Misa was trembling yet what made her form shiver I was clueless to, yet asked,
" Does it mean that much to you Misa?" then I explained, " I know he's your friend but there seems to be something aside from being friends...I mean I feel that something else, don't take it the wrong way...but is there?"
Misa looked at the ground, " I know...I know, how he feels..."
" Tell me." Misa, darling, whatever do you mean?
" Ever since I was a child..." Misa inhaled and the weight was evidently portrayed, " I was always teased and condescended...sometimes it was for my hyperactive nature and at times it was due to my looks..." her...looks? " I don't look Japanese so some disgusting parents once commented ' Do you think her father has a mistress?' right in front of some older children who then started calling me 'Bastard little girl' and my classmates imitated them."
" Sorry, but may I ask you something, how is it you have blonde –"
" It's because of my mother Light, she's half Roman, that's why I have these features..." Misa sad smile, my heart, it's breaking, " You see I was always ostracized. I was naive and different. When I grew up I fell in love with a boy, but that boy got angry whenever I didn't listen to him...he then forced me into agreeing to have sex with him...at the last minute I saw how horribly he scrutinized my body...like I was some sex object...I started crying and he tried to slap me...I...punched him...in his face, out of defence and anger."
That fucker is a dead man, " Misa I –"
Those crystals
Those crystallized... sadness... waters waving
My Misa was crying, " After that people started thinking I was a slut because he pushed me to the low with bad rumours. I was so upset that I started failing, not that I ever was a good student. I got kicked out of my school and my father and mother were so sad..." Misa, stop, you, " I AM SUCH A FAILURE LIGHT I'M SORRY..." You are crying...I'm breaking with you...
" Misa" I embraced her, she had fallen on the floor, good thing we were in an empty classroom, she gasped, God, how beautiful, " I don't ever want you to be alone..." I clutched her tighter, she was breathing so deeply, " I want you to know I'll be here for you..."
Suddenly, I heard that annoying snicker and I look up and see that he was playing with some strands of Misa's hair, " Light, she's really pretty, is this the way you bed women?"
" Fuck you Ryuk." I swore in a whisper and luckily Misa didn't hear.
However Ryuk turned so annoying I really wish I knew how to kill him, " But Light what did I say? I mean you are gonna use her for sex like you do that Takada girl?"
I ignored that organism and whispered, " Misa..you're one of the few people...I ever...truly...liked...and trusted..."
"Me..." Misa chuckled sadly, " Is it because I gave you my body so easily...?"
It was a stab and Ryuk's after-words sent salt to the wound, " Yeah, you seemed very happy screwing her lights out..." he snickered, " I mean I hadn't seen you happy like that with Takada..." YOU BASTARD SHUT THE FUCK UP!!
I shuddered in acidic impulses; angered that our first union was merely consensual sex, angered that my present girlfriend was a stupid slut I didn't want, angered that I hadn't proposed to my Misa before, angered that I first really didn't think about her and only cared about her erotic desires and my own, I was sad that now she felt I needed her for erotic applications and not for any other means, I was upset that my body and soul longed for Misa yet I must satisfy a stupid slut's wishes, I was sad that I must chase after her and when I did meet her closer my confessions and my emotions were bottled due to things beyond my control, I was upset that these factors were not mortals nor else I would kill them off one by one but these immortal, inanimate, invisible objects laughed at living, breathing me because I was animate yet I was still mortal.
" Misa..." I brushed her hair, " Unfortunately we got over-friendly when we met but..." we both giggled at this remark, she with her sadness and me with my own, " But, I like you a lot and I always want you to be there as a person I can turn to..." I MEANT THIS BEYOND ANYTHING, IT WAS CRUCIAL TO ME AS CREATING THE NEW WORLD
" Oh Light, thank-you..." she hugged me back with my heart soaring in Eden, I picked both ourselves up and clutched her, " You know, an intelligent guy like you confiding in me, it's too good to be true." She let go and giggled while my hands were placed soothingly on her shoulders.
Misa, you are VERY INTELLIGENT. Unfortunately, some people take immense time to see to their intellectual powers while others bloom earlier. Also, emotionally, your stability and strength compliments my calm and perseverant nature. We are the truest beings in this planet thus we deserve to rule it. As the new god and goddess of this awakened just birth, you are my womb and my seed in your sacred place will be the nascent step to all control and order. We will elevate atonement and judgment to all those hypocrites and our hand will be the divine authority.
" Light, there you are, I was looking for you –" it was that annoying pitch that distorted my vision of the imminent future; seriously, when I become a god I will expose your fraudulent beauty to the world and all you were be worth will be to pleasure men with your body or I will gladly kill you.
" Hello Kiyomi, is something wrong?" my hands never leaving that graceful structure that was Misa's shoulders.
" What are you doing?" It was the point given to Misa vehemently.
" I'm...we are doing nothing Kiyomi." Misa innocently spoke though her distaste was not hidden, it protruded and I loathed that Takada-slut for her interference and my darling's disappointment.
" Surely..." Kiyomi's condescension was pure as if we two were species above Misa; oh, my dear, it is Misa and I who are above you, " Light, that Lawliet is calling us...you know how weird he is..."
" Wait, a minute," Misa was on the defensive immediately, my anger soared for my envious heart could not bear that odd man gain support from her supreme strength, " Kiyomi, why are you saying Lawliet is weird, he's just different..."
" Last time I checked it meant weird to be ostracized by everyone in society..." she smirked; seriously, if I could I would kill her.
" But society is not always right, I mean we see that by example everywhere, mass murders of people in Iraq and America by that STUPID PRESIDENT, people in Pakistan being in political unrest and people in BANGLADESH not GETTING EVEN AN OUNCE OF RICE TO EAT...So let's say society's rules and hierarchies are not always cutting the curb right." Misa looked so fierce, a lioness in all her superior prime. GOD SHE WAS A WOMAN
" How does this have any relevance to Lawliet Griffith?" Kiyomi seriously stop acting dumb, obviously the Gestalt philosophy of the whole doesn't apply to you, and as you are definitely not an inborn genius as the Autistic Savant so you are not excused, " Will you please stop saying things that don't matter."
" It does matter and stop calling Lawliet weird!" Misa was appalled and angry; so was I.
" Please Kiyomi stop doing this..." I roughly accentuated my dislike of her petty squabbles, " Misa is right, I told you not to judge Lawliet anymore."
" Are you ordering me to?" Kiyomi looked livid now, where is this coming from? " Light I'm your girlfriend not some lay-around-girl." Kiyomi stared at Misa.
" Excuse me." Misa got the piercing accusation.
" I'm not talking to you..." Bitch, your eyes say everything, " Light, I haven't said anything wrong."
" No, Kiyomi, you are doing a whole lot of wrong." I cannot believe this woman is the intellectual and independent Miss TO-OH, " You are getting everything wrong; why are you being so angry?"
" Light, if you wanna come, come along." She started being all weepy.
" Kiyomi!" Shit, this was bad, and the award for Drama Queen with best emotional blackmailing qualities go to MISS TO-OH, SUPREME SLUT OF JAPAN, " Kiyomi, this is unreasonable, come back here! Please!"
And...I left...Misa...behind...alone...
It was positively stupid. We are at the students' lounge at the eighth floor of the Humanities and Arts building (where Misa did most of her classes and was the building that hosted the central cafeteria). Kiyomi was bawling for God knows what reason and I was barely paying attention to what she was saying. God, it was great that the lounge was empty; nor else I had to act like I cared.
" Light...why...why...why!" She was yelling like a cry-baby, " I mean why?!" uh, you kinda repeated that word several times bitch, " Why?! WHY?!"
" Kiyomi, why are you crying?" Seriously, what the fuck was this girl's problem?
" I mean WHY?!" Kiyomi was stuck on that particular word, " WHY ARE YOU SO CLOSE TO MISA AMANE?!"
That's it, " BECAUSE WE MADE LOVE OK!"
Kiyomi stopped crying and looked at me as though the whole universe ended, " What?"
" Listen Kiyomi," God, at least she stopped her silly bawling, " Before you became my girlfriend I had sex with Misa once and she's a nice girl; I don't want her to think I'm like other boys who are irresponsible and indecent so –"
" Oh God, don't tell me she's pregnant!"
" What?! No, No!" Seriously that thought hadn't even disturbed me or dawned on me, I mean proper protection, heard of that Kiyomi? Misa ain't stupid, she won't just let me...nevermind... " I just want her to know, we are cool and we will always be friends."
" Oh Light, you're so gracious..." Gracious? She was suddenly so horribly sweet it vexed me, " So nice of you to make Misa think positively of herself."
What, what's she saying?
" Kiyomi, I don't understand..."
" I mean c'mon you're further evidence that girl is a slut I mean she slept with you and she hardly knows you." Kiyomi snorted with superiority, " I mean a one-night stand, God, talk about whore: I mean I should have realized, with her appearance that screams it – gothic Lolita slut."
" Kiyomi, why are you acting like this," I have never met such an annoying woman in my entirety, "Misa's appearance is fine."
She looked oddly, " But Light she dyes her hair and –"
" It's natural, she's got Roman lineage..." I explained to this dumb fucked up bitch.
" But I'm so much prettier right baby?"
Uh, yeah, whatever, " Kiyomi, why are you calling Misa a slut just because she slept with me...I mean I slept with her too, I did the one-night stand thing as well..."
" But Light," the same breast on chest mechanism, she does this when she believes she is being sensual, it lacks grace and screams 'pick me up' dialogues, " You're a man, it's in your nature to fall helplessly into the whores' traps and a princess like me is there to save you."
Ok,
She did not
Just,
Say that!
Now she is inflicting insults upon my sex! Oh My God! No Wonder Ryuuga Hideki dumped her ass!
" Kiyomi..." my pitch dangerously, " Never say that again."
" What..why?"
" Kiyomi." My gaze narrowed, " Not all men are dogs and not all women are whores – promiscuity does not always equal negativity. You are embarrassing yourself."
" What do you mean?!" she looked angry.
" Kiyomi, you are insulting me and Misa with no conscience whatsoever..." I was livid honestly this was worse than seeing injustice occurring everywhere, " Why are you marginalizing men and Misa as flawed ..." I looked deeply, " You sound like a misandrist. Not the reasonable kind, though I never liked misogynists or misandrists."
" Listen Light, you are definitely mistaking me, " she spoke conclusively, " I don't hate men, I just know they are sometimes led by their dicks."
" And I know women who use their pussies as a gauntlet...those women have you as their sponsor..."
Kiyomi looked outraged, " Light! How dare you?!"
" Kiyomi, seriously, I need a break from the nonsensical things you're saying so I will go and find poor Lawliet who's been waiting for us for the twenty minutes we've wasted on this. You can come along if you want to or not."
" Light! Apologize!"
Like Hell I will
" Sorry Lawliet-san, but I was delayed by forces beyond my control..." God, next time don't assign me to tame the shrew.
" Oh, that's alright." Lawliet looked at me intensely and then approached my face, too close, almost kissing-distance.
" Uh, what...what is it?" I retreated a step, or two.
" You had a fight with Kiyomi right?" he grinned.
" How...how can you tell?" Ok, I didn't know he was telepathic.
" Because I asked Kiyomi to call you, and I noticed that you have some problems at times with Kiyomi – so it was a guess..." he grinned more prominently.
" Well, good guess Griffith." I smirked, " She kinda offended Misa in the process."
" My Misa?"
Ok, my smile is long-gone
What does he mean BY THAT?!
SHE'S NOT YOURS YOU DAMN RACOON!
" Well, I didn't know she was yours..."
" Why do you look so annoyed? I know I sounded odd right now...but, I meant My friend Misa..." then he smiled, " Do you think a girl so beautiful as her will date me?"
Is that a rhetorical question?
I hoped it was
" Hey don't be so hard on yourself." Despite my anger I kinda meant that.
" Well, I've been known as the solitary man," really, he spoke of it in an intense, literary way, " I mean the one who's been here without any female companions of any sort."
" Well, to girls its looks that matters." I recall saying that to Ryuk once as he commented that my handiwork was worth it as an attractive feature to the ladies. He thought as I knew knitting as a man that was quite impressive; however, I don't think girls really care about that, they mostly care about looks just like men even if our genitals doesn't always aid us in making decisions. It's not always a sexual thing rather a human thing. Also, I haven't seen a girl who likes me for me; either 'Light you're so smart' (though that flatters my ego) and 'Light you're so hot' (that flatters my ego as well) though, it's only ego at the end of the day and repetitive things irk me for they usually convert to boredom.
" You..don't really believe that do you Light-kun?" he looked awed and upset; wait, does he actually believe it's personality that attracts people to one another? Maybe, in 5 of the cases but mostly people like to be physical.
" Well, most of the times the sad truth is that people don't care about a person's personality." I confess exactly what I'm thinking; a habit I had to forgo, a needed sacrifice for the person who chooses to become a god.
" I don't believe that Light-kun..." Lawliet looked awfully soft-natured at the moment, it gave him a handsome appearance, which was outrageously true as everyone, myself included, didn't think of him as the aesthetical person, " Because...for people like me...unable to live up to the modern definition of beauty...personality is our manna, hope and our miracle...what beautiful people achieve through exterior aesthetics we tend to try to get it with interior aesthetics – if personality can be called such a thing..."
" Well, Lawliet, I, uh," I looked at him a bit strangely due to this sensitive arrangement of words, " I don't know about those things."
" I wanna fall in love..."
" What...??" I thought a sledgehammer struck me, what...what was that...?
" I said I wanna fall in love Light-kun..." Lawliet was looking elsewhere, was he embarrassed saying these things to me? Then why tell? " I know it seems audacious but I really want to have a girlfriend who I love and eventually marry..." so soft, how can he sound so illusive? " I know I want that the most."
" Oh, really?" It was a strange confession which I had no prerequisites to aid me answer it,
" I surely hope you find the special one then."
" Light, will you marry Kiyomi?"
" NO WAY!" GOD! THAT WAS LIKE SWALLOWING HELL IN ONE GO!
" Thanks for the essential answer then..." he proceeded to sit down in front of his PC and I gawked at him, literally.
" Essential answer...to what?"
" That you don't love Kiyomi." He smiled at me.
" Well, I guess you don't need to love someone to make them your girlfriend..." I was somewhat annoyed. Seriously, I couldn't do love with Kiyomi even if I tried.
" But, do you think you'll love someone soon?" Lawliet looked inquisitively at me, why..why was he asking me this?
" I'm not sure..." for some reason these questions weren't annoying me. Though, they normally do for their intricate, intangible, personal formatting.
" Do you think you'll ever fall in love?"
Misa...I...wanna...say...it...but, I'm...I'm afraid...
" I think not."
" Why...?" he looked stunned and in desperation (or sadness) his eyes widened, " Why Light-kun...?"
" Because..." no, I don't need to say it, " I'm..." stop, I don't want to say it, "Because I'm not brave enough..."
" But, why...?"
" I'm not sure..."
But...I think...I'm in fall...no, I am in love...I love...
" Hmm, " Lawliet sighed, " I think I know that..."
" Whatever can you know?!" I almost yelled at him, FUCKER, YOU CAUGHT ME OFFGUARD YOU CONNIVING BASTARD!!
" Because...until recently...I felt the same..."
I kept staring at him
" Light, you do justice to your species...I knew my boredom would end if I stuck around with you..." my friend-not friend Shinigami spoke effectively as I lay in my bed, " I was really interested to see why you followed Misa into that empty classroom."
" I wasn't stalking her Ryuk, merely seeing what she was doing in Room HA 708 when she doesn't have a class there at noon." I was seriously incited by Ryuk's manners concerning my private matters.
" Huh..." Ryuk pressed his hand upon his chin, " Either it means your powers of observation are thoroughly un-dented or you've become naughty and got her schedule."
" Both." I folded my left knee and swung my right leg over it, I felt awfully dull at the moment, when I have these feelings I usually play video games with Ryuk or practice mathematics, " I wanted to see what she did at times seeing Kiyomi always barges in on us...or more recently Lawliet..."
" Well, isn't it like a stalker to say he's not stalking." Ryuk giggled and my ferocity towards him advanced in mass proportions.
" You've got a BIG MOUTH Shinigami!" I threw a pillow at him, " I told you it was merely to spend some time with her, I told her I saw her routine yesterday so we could hang out...she didn't accuse me of anything so neither can you!"
Ryuk looked dumbfounded and raised his gargantuan hands for the defensive, " Ok, Ok, " he put his hands down, " But..." he tilted his head, " Do you like Misa Amane?"
" Yes." That was the truth.
" So, she's not gonna be there just to satisfy you physically uh, right." He confusedly talked yet captured my glare and continued, " Ok, That means she isn't in the same category as Kiyomi Takada." Then his eyes widened, " Light, that woman seems...I don't know...a bit annoying...can't you get another girl for sex...?"
" Well, other girls I've met so far are also annoying..." I spoke truthfully, " They squeal with absolute joy when they see me and it irritates me when they start talking about fashion and junk that should be non-existent 'cause they are so insignificant."
" But Misa talked about those stuff too..." Ryuk, my dear Shinigami, how pointlessly dumb you are at times.
" Well, Misa has the power to extricate the most prominent features of a subject." It was obvious that this is the certainty in which conversations with her were increasingly exuberant, " Also, Misa can talk about other things besides those things."
" Hmm, what then about Kiyomi...? Is she like that?" Ryuk tilted his head and curiously came closer to me. Usually, he likes leaping about...he looks like a frog to some extents.
" Well, kinda, she can converse well at times but she can get on one's nerves." I recollected her stupid analysis regarded Misa.
" Hmm, Light, why did you make Kiyomi your girlfriend or whatever she is to you?" Good question Ryuk and you look odd with your curiosity so vastly implemented in our conversations. I concluded that Shinigamis may not know much of the world though they are meant to be beyond it.
" Well, I guess I needed one for the popularity and the sex." I grinned, " Not that I couldn't achieve sexual needs elsewhere but in the game of society's hierarchy your sexmate must also be regarded as a classy person."
" True." Ryuk scratched his chin then explored, " Then why not Misa? She's not as popular as Miss TO-OH but she is cute and nice."
My looks were downcast, " I don't know..." I muttered, " At first because it would be odd because we had sex when we were strangers...but...now..." I got up and hugged my elbows, " Now...I don't feel I'm up to it...I'm not brave enough..."
" Light..." Ryuk looked curiously again, " Do you...I mean...will you keep on using Kiyomi?" He looked oddly at me and I stopped hugging myself (so foetal-like insecurity; so not me) but I was upright in that bending-sitting position on my bed.
" Yes." I looked vehemently at my Shinigami, " There's no doubt about it..."
" But Light, I don't fully understand the dynamics of the situation." Ryuk in one statement indicated the need for broader explanations.
" Well, as I said, it is important that I have this relationship so I can maintain a form of social life." I detailed out my designs, " If I withdraw within myself then my parents, peers, etcetera will start suspecting me."
" Not to mention Misa." He pointed seriously.
" Yes...that would be the worse suspicion." His point was essential, " So, it is necessary that I can keep Kiyomi hanging even if it just only a thread in my direction it is needed."
" Yeah, I guess so." Ryuk dully spoke, signs of boredom piqued, " But," then he awakened once more, " But...is that the only reason, knowing the sort of man you are, you are multifarious, so I can't accept that's the only reason you need Kiyomi. Also don't you find it odd that Takada just accepted the fact you slept with Misa but didn't presume you're sleeping with Misa?"
" Oh, whatever, probably she trusts me and Naturally Ryuk, you do seem to know quite a bit of me, now..." my eyes narrowed, " No, that's not the only reason, I decided to use her love, infatuation or dedication or whatever it is to my fullest potential."
" What...do you mean?" Seriously, Ryuk was so excited I felt he was having an erection (If Shinigami have sexual desires)
" Well," I loved this execution too much, " I will ask Kiyomi to do what I ask, so she will sacrifice her worthless life pleasuring me, the best way to make her somewhat worthy. She will be my marionette and that will be her only purpose. Also, I have to use her as my doll, recently there was a hacking on Lawliet's computer and I think it was L suspecting someone in our university. I'm sure Kiyomi will be my perfect cover to play the clueless, innocent, university student. She will become the martyr of our love."
I couldn't resist. I snickered and then I gave out a euphoric laugh. Oh, how sweet these designs were.
"Well, Light, that does sound interesting." Ryuk closed his eyes and folded his arms, " You do know how to provide entertainment; though, that's not a very original idea seeing that I've seen others who had the DeathNote before use their so-call love to do their bidding...but, I know you won't be all melodramatic as them."
" Really?" I looked deviously at him, " Are you some kind of twisted Eros Ryuk? Didn't think I would see my Shinigami do that..."
" For your information." He grinned, " I'm not really your anything."
" True, but you are being entertained by my services so right now you're like my audience or my employee." I quickly pushed the truth towards him.
" Yes, that's true..." he chuckled, " But about that Eros thing I could fashion myself as that."
" So you are mischievous as Puck from Shakespeare's Midsummer's Night's Dream." I laughed,
" Honestly Ryuk if I ever wanted a more potent love potion I'll just liquefy myself!"
" Well, you can act cocky, girls literally can die for you." Ryuk smiled approvingly.
" Though..." I muttered, " I wouldn't want Misa to die...for me...ever..."
" I guess if you keep playing your cards right Misa will become the empress of this new world you're trying to make..." Ryuk encouraged with an actual pat on my back.
" Yeah." I smiled, " That's definitely what I want."
Pure Ecstasy.
" Light!" there was that interrupting knock, gee, way to lose a moment, " It's your girlfriend Kiyomi Takada." Ok, now I seriously lost my moment.
I opened my locked door and saw Sayu looking distressed, " What's up?"
" She's been...kinda...down, I mean she's sobbing." Great, hearing this from Sayu was a real fuck-on.
" I got it." I spoke casually and locked my door once more.
" Gee Light," Ryuk laughed, " Your sexmate calls fast!"
I gave him a disapproving look then "helloed" at my so-called girlfriend, who whispered, " I'm sorry Light...I love you, you know that..."
Hey, this game, I know how to play, " I'm sorry too." It's only 10:30, ok, so... " Are you free tonight honey?"
Kiyomi squealed, " My house...ok..."
" Sure..."
Then I hung up
Ryuk was laughing and rolling on the floor, "Light, you're something!"
" Guess, duty calls, gotta fuck up that witch to keep her interested..." I looked very sinister, I was not promiscuous or sexual, merely doing the essential, " Oh, yeah, the other reason Misa isn't in Kiyomi's place as my so-called girlfriend."
" Really," he stopped and stared, " Why's that?"
" Because...she is never going to be worthless to me."
I smiled as I saw Misa in front of my eyes.
Her frustrations were evident as disappointments smeared as some prehistoric make-up upon her gorgeous, porcelain face as she looked with scepticism. What had occurred a day ago was still vivid in her mind so she asked:
" Is it ok?"
" Yeah..." I smiled.
" Won't Kiyomi mind?" Misa uttered.
" No, listen about –"
" I'm sorry, I didn't mean to cause a misunderstanding between you two." Her face saddened; can I kiss it and make it feel better?
" Don't worry, she's just emotional at times." More like a bimbo, " We can stop for a quick lunch at the restaurant and talk about those essays you are doing."
" Yeah, sure, Lawliet is such a great help..." she smiled, I winced, " He's helping me with them."
That oddball bastard, " Can I help you as well then?" I smirked.
" Yeah sure." Misa smiled, " It'll be nice. I think I ask too much from Lawliet at times." Good, you think that. That means you'll ask me stuff!
" Ok, let's go then." I playfully tapped her shoulder and she giggled, God, wasn't she the perfect creation?
Suddenly she stopped and kissed my cheek, I looked astounded, " Thank-you Light." She whispered,
" For caring about me." She sobbed, " I sometimes feel alone." My dear Misa, " You know it's been hard for me these days." She looked down and wiped her eyes. Then smiled, " I'm glad I can depend on you!"
I embraced her and she gasped, " Of course!" that kiss, " You can always come to me when you're lonely!"
Then I grabbed her hand and I pulled her and she giggled at my instant adrenalin, I was actually ecstatic, " C'mon, I will treat you to a great lunch!"
But...there was something wrong...
Ryuk was acting eerie...
He was singing...
" Waves may stop
Oceans may die
But you can always come to me
Lives may be slaughtered
Armageddon can arrive
But you can always come to me
Plagues may thrive
Murders may be ongoing
But you can always come to me
I will creep in your room
Make love to you as you sleep
And you will come for me...
Down this spiral love
We climb stairs;
Down this spiral love
We might share
Coming from the bottom
I will always come to you."
What a peculiar song, then he added as I didn't care anymore –
" Didn't know you can make songs out of anger, Jealous..."
Author's Note: Ok, I had LOADS OF INSPIRATIONS
Bertrand Russell (For the comparisons to those philosophers and cosmic revelation)
Margaret Atwood
Orhan Pamuk
Wikipedia
Blood PLUS (That anime is GREAT VISUALLY AND SEQUENCE WISE)
Sydney Sheldon (for that automated sex-doll bit)
Bloody Alaizabel ( GREAT WRITER IN DEVIANT ART . COM)
Brilcrist (AN AWESOME PAINTER IN DEVIANT ART . COM)
Audity
Efad
Nishwar (My friends)
Aliens VS Predator 2 movie ( the part where the actress keeps saying she'll fire her BF, got inspired wrote 'hire' and "lick' part that Light derogatorily depicts Kiyomi of doing)
BURN UP W (anime – Nanvel Candlestick was a character, though I like her I use "candlestick" badly here almost like the adage "burning the candle at both ends")
Online Writers/ Fanfiction Writers of DeathNote
MY RECENT PSYCHOLOGY 101 RESEARCH PAPER ON AUTISM AND CREATIVITY
OTHER FRIENDS
OTHER SERIES
AND FAMILY ESPECIALLY MY MOM AND DAD (they're the coolest!)
I THANK ALLAH ALMIGHTY AS I GOT MY FIRST LAPTOP TODAY!!
HOPE YOU GUYS LIKED THIS CHAP!!
Talk about Role-reversals, which I love to do at times – Light insane over Misa!LOL
Any questions or comments? Please be free to ask!
P.S. I think this is the longest chapter for now.