Authors Note: I am incredibly sorry for how long it took me to update, I've just been super swamped with schoolwork and what-not. Hopefully I'll be able to get my chapters up faster. Again Sorry and I hope you enjoy! =] P.S This chapter is going out to lifeISaDRAG for getting me motivated enough to finish this chapter.

Sirius' POV

I woke up and turned over, it was Friday and tomorrow was the Hogsmead trip. That thought was enough to get me to sit up. When I pulled the curtains back sun was shining through the windows. I got out of bed and looked over towards James' bed. He was still asleep. I looked at my clock. 7:30, too early, but we had to get up. I grabbed my pillow and threw it at James, my aim was rewarded with a faint 'Ow' then "Padfoot!" The curtains were pulled back and James appeared, his eyes lidded with sleep.

"Good Morning James! Time to get up!" he hated it when I was falsely cheery.

"Yes mother." He muttered.

"Are you awake or do I have to find something harder than a pillow?"

"Don't you dare I'm awake."

"Better stay that way, I mean, we don't want the lovely Ms. Evans to think Jamsie is lazy now do we?" he sat right up, jumped out of bed and started getting ready. Evans always got James moving, he even looked over the fact that I used one of his least favorite nicknames. The worst was 'Jamsiepoo' Cassi came up with it. Thinking of Cassi, I wonder if she's forgiven me yet, she probably has, whatever. Shower-time!!! "Now that your up I can take a shower, I'll leave it to you to wake Wormy up. Remus is already up and probably reading in the common room like always." He nodded and I left to take a nice warm shower, and rejuvenate my hair.

xxxxxxxxx

When we came down to the Great Hall we sat down and started eating. Within a few minutes Calia and Ashley walked up to me. "I hope your happy Sirius, Cassi never came back last night and no one has seen her since she left the lake." I felt dread wash over me. Please Cassi, I hope you didn't do anything stupid!

"Maybe she just fell asleep in the girls bathroom, that's the last place I saw her. I'm sure she's fine Sirius, she just needed to calm down, she'll turn up sooner or later." I nodded and tried to convince myself that what James said was true, but still felt cold with fear. Then a thought came to me.

"The map!" I took off running towards our dorm where the Marauders Map was in my trunk. It would show where she was, and then I would know she was safe.

xxxxxxxxx

Cassi's POV

I sat with my back against a tree just looking out at the water, it was so calm and peaceful it helped me think. Severus (I found out his real name) had left a couple of minutes ago, he had to get to class, he would've skived with me but I told him I would be fine and that I thought he just wanted an excuse not to learn something fun and exciting (note sarcasm) at this he just laughed. He was really nice to be around, and I found out that he was also friends with Lily Evans, a girl in Gryffindor; she was a fifth year and the love of James' life. Hahaha, she hated him, poor Jamsiepoo. The Marauders hated Severus for no reason and were completely treacherous to him, it disgusted me what they did. I would have to give them a good talking to. Although he was friends with some Slytherins who I knew were bad news, he was an overall great person if you got to know him. Very smart, witty, compassionate, a great listener, I just know were going to become really great friends, I mean he listened to all my problems for an hour and a half and consoled me, that's amazing for someone who just met me.

He's going to bring me some lunch, and then sit and talk some more during all his free periods today, I can't wait, I wonder what I should do until he comes, I could sleep, or once everyone's in class I could get some school work to finish and then sleep. Yeah, I think I'll do that, but I still have to sit until breakfast is over and everyone's in class. Hmm, I have an essay for Potions, Transfiguration, and Charms. I'll do the Charms first, and then see where I go from the- Wait, who's coming?

I grab my wand and feign sleep, but look through my lashes. Trees rustle and who comes out of them but… Sirius. Great, him again, doesn't he get I don't want to be near him? There's a perfectly good mood gone because of him. I open my eyes and look at him. "What do you want?" Acid easily coats my words.

"I wanted to know where you were."

"Well you found me, now go away." Will he not leave me in peace?

"Are you hungry?"

"No, I already ate, go away!"

"Don't you have classes to go to?"

"So, its not like you've never skipped a day in your life, and seeing as you wont leave I guess I will." I turned to leave but he grabbed my wrist. "Let go of me." I said it in a slow and deadly voice.

"No."

"Let go of me, or you'll regret it." Do not test me right now.

"No"

"Fine." I turned around and blasted him into the lake. When he resurfaced I smiled sweetly and waved. "Bye!" then I walked off. Hopefully he won't come looking for me there when I'm with Severus. That would be awkward seeing as they hated each other.

I walked through the trees and finally found the one I was looking for. It was an ancient oak and I had discovered it with Regulus in Second year. I climbed up into the topmost branches and stopped. The breeze calmed me, and let me think. I thought of Sirius, I thought of Severus, and I thought of secrets and how many I had. I felt guilty knowing what I would have to keep from Severus. I sighed. Why did I always think about that whenever I made a new friend, ever since that one day so long ago… ok stop! I have to get control of myself, but I couldn't help but raise the sleeve on my left arm and see the scars there. I remembered when I first started.

I was ten, Sirius had come home for the holidays, and I know he didn't want to, but Mom made him. He had been teasing me, and Regulus wasn't there. He was using magic and making things I wanted float out of my reach. I was crying, he told me I was a crybaby, and to shut up. I didn't, then he pointed his wand at a vase behind me, he made it fly up into the air, and then let it fall on my head. The glass broke and I was fell on the floor crying he just yelled at me again to shut up then left. I ran out into the snow and went to my friend's house. She wasn't there but her older sister was, she let me in and asked me what was wrong. "Sirius was teasing me and he made a vase fall on me." I was still crying but it had subsided. Now I was angry. "Its not fair! He can use magic against me and I don't have a wand so there's nothing I can do about it." She looked at me in a weird way then told me to follow her. We went into her bedroom and she shut the door. (A/N: Now I'm guessing what you're thinking, and No, she doesn't make her a Deatheater, and she doesn't abuse her or anything.) Then she went over to a drawer and pulled out something silver. She came over to me and I saw she was holding a razor.

"I know what you mean, but there is something yo cam do about it, look." She pulled up her sleeve and I could see a series of scars there. They were all thin lines, some were fading, other you could see clearly, but one was still fresh. It had scabbed over but hadn't healed completely yet. "When you get really frustrated or mad just take a razor like this," she held the one in her hand up. "And you put it on your skin, then you push down and pull it across." When she said that she demonstrated, and now her arm was beaded with blood. "Just make sure you don't press too hard. It helps you feel better, do you want to try?" I was angry and I wanted to feel better so I said yes. She went back to the same drawer and came back, she had a razor in her hand, but this one had paper across the blade, she pulled it off and gave the razor to me. "This one's new, you can have it." Then she helped me cut myself for the first time. It did help so I thanked her, put the razor in my pocket and went home. Ever since then when it became too much I could always trust in my little razor.

The wind blew my hair around my head like a halo. I pulled a razor out of my pocket, I had gotten better, but I still needed a little stress-relief sometimes. I pulled it across my skin, but blood would no longer surface, not for three years now, but it still felt good to just let out my anger. One thing I've realized is that I have so many secrets, with my cutting situation and… my other huge secret.

Ahh man, life just sucks when you have so many problems…

"Cassi? You up there?"

Authors Note: My pathetic attempt at a mini-cliffhanger. What is her secret? Thats for me to know, and you to find out. Man I feel evil...

I hope that I showed Sirius in a good way, I know he was really mean when they were kids but please forgive me. Also Cassi is not emo, she just has different ways of dealing with stress... I hope that you liked this chapter. Review please? Even if you hated it just click the little review button. =]