Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Penelope was grateful for that weekend free. She needed to rest, her heart needs to take a breather. Her turbulent affair with Derek had not been one of her best ideas. In fact, that was one of the biggest mistakes of her life.

But then, she never really thought he could react so selfishly. Derek was her protector. He distanced her from any possible harm, cared for her, treated her like a real princess. She came to feel like a princess between his sheets, under his hard body. He seemed to feel something for her. Apparently, her intuition had played a dirty trick.

She shook her head, feeling sorry for herself. Because the worst thing was not her heart being broken. The pathetic thing was that Penelope wanted to go back in time. She wanted to go back to that night and shut her fucking mouth up.

Derek had become a necessity for her, his presence was essential for her survival. With each passing day, her feelings grew stronger within her.

"Pen, open the door. It's me"

Sam's voice interrupted her masochist session. Penelope smiled faintly, looking for a wider smile to offer to her newly boyfriend. He was a good man. He was in love with her. He had always been crazy about her. Sam was almost perfect. A lovely, honest, faithful man. He didn't have an Olympic medal by jumping from bed to bed.

But he was not Derek ...

She took a deep breath, closing her eyes. The last thing Sam needed it was to see her tears. Tears spilled in honor of another man.

Painting a fake smile on her face, she opened the door. "Hey, sweet. Come in"

Sam gave her a gentle smile, leaving a soft kiss on her lips. But she didn't want his sweetness. She wanted to erase others hands, another mouth, another skin. Kill every memory, boot up his soul of her being.

Penelope placed her hands behind his neck, devouring every corner of his mouth.

He closed the door behind them, and let himself be dragged for her to the couch. "What's wrong?" Sam whispered against her mouth, while his girlfriend straddled his waist.

Her eyes were full of pure fire, her features hardened and a seductive smile curved her lips. "I want to make love to you"

Sam looked up at her in surprise, but it quickly faded from his face. His eyes glittered with desire, caressing her parted lips, her ample cleavage ... her hot look. Her mouth dropped again over his, kissing him aggressively, almost angrily. He tangled his hands in her silky hair. It had been too many years that he was waiting for that chance. And he couldn't lose it.

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JJ placed her forearm over her eyes. Insomnia really sucked. Not to mention those nightmares where some kind of zombie ran after her, vowing revenge.

"Who would send me to become a field agent" JJ whispered, talking to herself. Will was sleeping peacefully in the master room. "I was happier talking to journalists"

A car braked sharply near her garden. She took two microseconds to jump off the couch. JJ walked slowly to the door, with her gun hidden behind her lower back. After that crazy woman kidnapped Henry in her own house, she promised herself that no danger would return to stalk her family.

"JJ, I know you're behind this fucking door. Open"

She frowned, opening the door to her unexpected visitor. There he was in front of her, made a complete mess. His shirt was buttoned wrong, and he gave off a strong smell of alcohol. She blinked slowly. "You-You've been drinking?"

Derek was almost a teetotaler person, he just drank a shot when the team met in some club. He gave a sort of grunt and walked into her house. "No, although I have been trying"

"Morgan, don't get me wrong, but" JJ saw him flopping on the couch, turning off the TV. "What the hell are you doing in my house, half intoxicated, at this time of night?"

He raised his dark eyes from the floor and nailed it into the blue ones of her. There was so much desperation in his look, she really felt like hugging him. Derek Morgan looked like an abandoned puppy. But JJ knew better. Her friend didn't like physical demonstrations of affection too much.

In all the years that she had worked with him, Derek had never kissed anyone, never said I love you to anyone except Penelope. But then, Penelope Garcia should be the sweetest woman in the universe. She was the solace of the team.

"This is the last place I would like to be right now"

"Thank you?" she rolled her eyes, with a hint of sarcasm, crossing her arms "What's wrong with you?"

Derek swallowed hard and closed his eyes for a moment. How to explain what he was feeling in his heart? How to define something that even he himself did know what the hell that was?.

He was sure of his feelings for Penelope. But he couldn't be in love with her. He should not be. His heart sank in his chest. Bitter tears threatened to leave his eyes, taking him to the utter humiliation.

"Morgan" JJ whispered slowly, sitting beside him. Then her eyes fell on his wounds hands. "With whom have you fought?" she asked, not looking away from the small wounds on his knuckles.

"With a wall"

The blonde looked at him questioningly, raising an eyebrow. Derek smiled miserably, trying to drown his pain behind a forced smile. "Of course I came out winning"

"Why are you here?"

"Reid is on a date" he said, shrugging his shoulders, "Hotch is in New York, Rossi is in his cabin and Prentiss is in London"

She didn't miss Penelope's absence. Obviously, he was angry with his best friend, for some reason. "Why have not you gone to Garcia?"

"Because she was too busy fucking with Sam" he snapped, clenching his jaw. JJ stared at him, a question written on her face. "Yes, I went to her house. I have heard her moaning from the doorway"

"I'm sorry" she muttered, avoiding his gaze. JJ didn't know what else to say, she knew rather little about their affair. "But she is no longer with you"

"And I swear I didn't mean to bother you" he went on, ignoring her completely. "In fact, I went to my house to get drunk. But my hands were shaking so much that the fucking scotch has been spilled on my shirt."

"Morgan, calm down" she asked, when her friend raised his voice. Derek ignored her words, as he stood up angrily from the couch.

"To make matters worse, none of my 'girls' were available to me," he threw his cell against the wall, shattering the device "All these bitches were too busy to call me back!"

JJ felt truly sorry for him. Derek was a broken man, a prisoner of his own fears. Victim of his bad decisions. She decided to be silent and just listen. Maybe that was all he needed. Take all his frustrations out of his body.

He began to breathe deeply, leaning his back against the wall. "When I was three, my father gave me a teddy bear. I always slept with it, that damn bear was always on my side" Derek chuckled, shaking his head "My mom told me I couldn't bring it to school , and I cried every morning for that very reason "

JJ said nothing as he continued telling this anecdote from his childhood. He sat beside her, but his gaze was lost somewhere in the ceiling. She knew he only wanted to hide his tears.

"One day, I don't know why, I forgot about that bear. I started playing with cars and soccer balls. Till Sarah found it, hidden in a drawer. And you know what happened? Suddenly I wanted to play with that teddy, I wanted to sleep with it and take it to school. But Sarah didn't want to give it to me. And I did lose my teddy"

"Emm, Morgan" she interrupted gently, frowning at him "Are you comparing Garcia with a teddy bear?"

"No, but-" Derek buried his face in his hands, trying to collect his thoughts, feelings and fears. "I don't know what the hell is wrong with me"

JJ ran a hand through her blonde hair, really lost in the whole situation. She sighed deeply and got up from the couch "We all do things that we regret later" she shrugged, smiling sadly at Derek "But sometimes it's too late to apologize"

He nodded slightly, raising his eyes to the woman, "You think she's in love with that stupid?"

"That's not something you should worry about, Morgan" JJ replied, throwing a blanket and a pillow to her friend. He couldn't to drive home, half drunk and sleepy. Her couch was quite comfortable to spend the night. "The question you should answer is another one. Are you in love with her?"

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