((This chapter heading is a song by Delain.))

Chapter 4

Control the Storm

The knock on Lenkala's door wasn't entirely unexpected. She would meet with the other mages in an hour. Until then, she had hoped she could collect her thoughts, but somehow she had already guessed that she would have a visitor. After all, what they wanted to do was no small feat, and she wanted to figure out for herself if knowing the truth was worth the risks. 'Come in, Leliana.'

The bard opened the door. She wasn't alone. The mage from the Winter Palace was with her. The two exchanged a glance. 'First … thank you for allowing him to come. I'd have begged you if you hadn't agreed.'

Lenkala looked at the man. He seemed tired. And shy, his cheeks flushing when their eyes met. 'You know each other, I take it.'

'That is an understatement,' Leliana said quietly. 'The long version … is for another time. The short one is, he is a Grey Warden. He also has a foster child, who came with him. That girl happens to be my foster child, too.'

Lenkala tried to make sense of that statement and failed. 'Ah … what?'

'My name isn't Levyn,' the mage said at last. 'I am Jowan. I … was an apostate and got conscripted by the Hero of Ferelden. I had been made Tranquil before that, but it was undone. The mother of our child is dead and I promised to take care of her. We raised her together.'

Lenkala's eyebrows had shot skywards when Jowan said he had been Tranquil. The man should talk to Cassandra. Perhaps he had useful information for her. But there was something else she wanted to know, too. 'Wait. Are you two an item?'

The small smile on Leliana's face was telling already. 'Yes.'

'I thought you're a sister.' Leliana made a face.

'Yes. I was once, but … Look, I was a confidant of the Divine and her friend. That wasn't a lie. None of it was. Except that I hadn't seen her in a long time because I was in Vigil's Keep.'

'I still don't get it. Why do you use a false name, Jowan?'

'I needed to while we were on the run. I couldn't risk anyone remembering what I was. I decided it was wiser in Orlais, too. You see … I've done things I'm not proud of, and I didn't want attention.'

'And so you went to the Winter Palace? That makes no sense.'

'I didn't stroll in there the moment I set foot in Orlais. Once invited, I could hardly say, oh, and my name isn't Levyn after all.' He closed his eyes. 'I don't know. If Cullen hears my real name, he'll remember. I avoid him like the plague because of that. He'd want my head, and I can't blame him.'

'You're still under my protection,' Lenkala said gently. 'But remain Levyn, if you like. Your daughter …'

'Darya. That's her real name. And don't call me Levyn. I'm sick of hiding.'

Lenkala nodded slowly. 'Understandable. Jowan, then. Good that I haven't introduced you yet. People would think I'm completely confused.'

The anxiety drained out of the man at her light tone. Leliana put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed. Lenkala couldn't help smiling. 'Will you help us? I need your input on something.'

A smile tugged at Jowan's lips. 'As best I can.'

Ϡ

Fenris opened the door of his room and glared outside. His hearing was good enough to notice someone sneaking around now and then, and the intervals suggested that it wasn't coincidence. He expected someone in armour. He found a young man who looked almost shocked at his sudden appearance. He must be one of the servants, and by the looks of his clothes, he wasn't well paid. If at all. 'Hypocrites,' he said. 'You're all hypocrites.'

The uncertainty on the other man's face was clear. 'I … am sorry. I didn't mean to … I can't do it anymore, I wish I could.'

Apparently, the young person was not only wearing old leather but also clearly confused. 'Are you lost?' Fenris asked, hoping the answer was no. He wouldn't be much help, having only just arrived.

'Lost? No. Found.' The young man shook himself visibly. 'I am Cole. I want to help you.'

'Hang on. I saw you with the Inquisitor. You were there when I arrived, in the throne room.'

Cole looked past – no, through Fenris and when he spoke again, his voice was little more than a whisper. 'Lost. Breaking. Broken. Burnt and brittle. Don't let him touch me. Don't let him take me! Kill him … kill him and run. Run, run, run!'

Fenris felt as if he had been thrown into a frozen lake in full armour. 'What are you?'

'I am Cole. I … want to help.'

'You're doing a lousy job.'

'He won't hurt you.' The cool blue eyes settled on Fenris's green ones. 'He would never do this thing to you. To anyone.' Before Fenris could slam the door shut on the man, his eyes closed as if he had been hit, and Fenris kept watching, fascination winning out over sheer alarm. 'Don't ask him. Don't make it worse. You need not know everything … not this time. Not of him.' He looked again. 'He knows. Or guesses. He won't tell. You need not be afraid.'

'I am not afraid of the man.' Fenris hardly recognised his own voice. 'I'll ask again. What are you? A mage? I don't think so.'

'I'm not a mage. I am human. Somewhat. I am to keep an eye on you. I met Hawke.'

The non-sequitur caught Fenris completely off guard. Whatever Cole was, insane or on some sort of horrible substance, he knew Fenris's thoughts. He grabbed him and pulled him inside. 'Do you know where he is?'

'In the Fade.' Cole said this very patiently, as if explaining it to a child. He was also completely calm, despite the fist still clutching his collar.

'So I've heard. Do you know what happened there?' The next thought struck him out of the blue. 'Are you a demon?'

Another would have seen the sudden glow of Fenris's lyrium markings and be scared. Not this one. If anything, he appeared thrilled. 'How do you do that?' Fenris refused to answer, just stared the being down. 'I am not a demon. I was a spirit. Now I am more human.'

'A spirit?'

'Solas says Compassion.'

After a moment of hesitation, Fenris released Cole. 'Sounds better than some. If it's true. I still don't trust you. Where is Hawke? Don't say in the Fade. You'd regret that.'

Cole shook his head, looking sad. 'I wanted to tell you that I don't believe the mages can find him. No being can live in the Fade so long. Not like this. It would have consumed us all if we hadn't got out.'

'If you're a spirit, you know the Fade. Can we find some proof of his death? Anything?'

'Spirits would know. Those that live in the part of the Fade where we were. The mages could ask them. They are discussing it right now. What to do. How to look. Then you will know, too.'

Ϡ

'We cannot do it,' Vivienne said simply. 'We are not enough.'

Dorian rubbed his forehead. 'Why not?'

Pointing from one to the next with herself last, Vivienne counted. 'One, two, three, four, five. Four, since one mage must go. It's just …'

The door opened by a fraction, showing a sliver of Cole's face. 'Sorry, but …'

'Get out, demon.'

Dorian stood abruptly. 'Vivienne, don't be so rude. Come on in, Cole.'

The young man fixed his gaze on Dorian rather than the woman but stayed put. 'No.'

'Well, what can we do for you?'

'Not for me. I know you don't want to be disturbed, but he insisted.'

Dorian was going to ask what Cole was going on about when a growl came from behind the door. 'This is my problem more than theirs. I want to know what they plan to do.' Dorian closed his eyes and sighed.

'Fenris. Come in, why don't you. Thank you, Cole.'

'Lenka …'

Lenkala chuckled. 'I think we're enough to handle Fenris. You can go.'

'What?' Dorian asked.

'I asked him to keep an eye on him.' Cole vanished and was replaced with the elf. He had come unarmed. Either that was a demonstration of power or a gesture of peace. Dorian wasn't certain, but he would give him the benefit of the doubt. 'This isn't a secret meeting. You're welcome to listen.'

'I talked to your demon. I'm not sure he understood that part.'

Vivienne laughed. It was completely mirthless. Lenkala ignored her. 'He's not a demon. We can discuss him later.' She looked at the ceiling for a moment. 'Vivienne … At the moment I don't worry about our number so much as about something much more basic: Does any of us know how to do this spell?'

'I do,' Jowan, as the mage Lenkala had brought back from Orlais had been introduced, said at once. 'I've done it before.'

'Good. How many were you?'

The mage bit his lip and glanced away, but only for a moment. 'Just me.'

Lenkala stared. Dorian leaned back in his chair. He knew only one way how that was possible. Surely, that couldn't be the case. 'What? Then what's stopping you from doing it again?'

'Ah … the circumstances were … Oh, who am I kidding? I had a sacrifice'

For a moment, Dorian just took in the inconspicuous man and the look on Vivienne's face, and he couldn't help it. He burst into a laughing fit he tried and failed to control. 'Look at you all,' he managed, wiping over his eyes. The scandalised expression on Vivienne's face didn't help him get a grip. 'Oooh, a mage from Tevinter, he must be a blood mage. No way he's not. And then we pick up this nice little fellow, and he tells us completely unfazed that he murdered someone to kick someone else into the Fade.'

'This is not a laughing matter,' Vivienne said sharply.

'Indeed. Hypocrites! I do so love you all, but you're all hypocrites.'

Lenkala had a pained smile on her face, Solas looked as sombre he always did, Fenris stared at him before turning away with obvious disgust, and Jowan seemed to want to sink into the floor. Still, he answered quickly. 'I don't use blood magic unless it's a matter of life and death. And I certainly won't hurt anyone, willing or no, because the circumstances aren't anywhere near as dire.' He looked at Fenris and shrugged. 'You're the one who asked for this I'm told, so it's you I'm answering. Sorry, but I'm not doing it.'

'I should hope not.'

Dorian snorted. 'Well, still, Jowan, you know the spell. You can't go. Also, what none of you have addressed yet is that we've got to time this. The part of the Fade where Hawke was left isn't exactly safe, I gathered, so we can only send someone for a spell, no pun intended. We need someone here who can tell how time passes in the Fade. Out of the top of my head, I'd say the only one with a chance at that is Solas.'

The elven mage nodded slowly. 'I can do that, but I can do it from either side.'

Dorian grinned at him. 'Yes. But then you might decide to look a little longer, just a little longer, and the something happens. Just to be safe, I think you should stay here.'

'That sounds wise.'

'Lenka is too important to risk her,' Dorian continued, earning a scowl. 'That leaves Vivienne or me to go to the Fade.'

The first enchanter raised her hands. 'No. I won't work with a blood mage. I'm out.' She had left the room before anyone could protest.

'I can go.'

Lenkala shook her head at Fenris. 'You're not a mage. You can't.' Dorian glanced at the elf, once again marvelling at his markings.

'Don't bet your life on that. But I wouldn't send him alone.' He looked at Jowan. 'If you use your own force only, you can't do it, can you?' The other man shook his head. 'Thought so. If Solas is willing to do this with you, and perhaps Lenkala, too, would that be enough? Not a sacrifice, obviously, just a small donation from them?'

'That … might be enough. They adding their magic and blood.' He stood and turned away from them. 'I don't want to do this. I really don't. Can't you find a few mages and let them pool their mana?' Dorian shrugged.

'We could try. But that would take time. Time we don't have.'

'He's right,' Lenkala said. 'Either this way or not at all. I'll understand if you refuse. I'd do it, if I could.' She had let Dorian instruct her in his own brand of magic, and that was controversial, too. What was one more controversial spell? 'My greatest problem is that I don't want you to risk your life, Dorian. As you said, this part of the Fade isn't a stroll through a sunlit forest.'

'Show me a part that is for anyone except Solas. Anyway, I'm way too intrigued to be cowed. And I'm at least sure that my magic can alert Solas if I get in trouble.'

'You taught me some of it, I can do it, too.'

'You're too new to this. Look. You're the one person we can't lose. You know that, too.'

'Then I'll let someone else decide.' Lenkala looked at Fenris who had sat silently but with an expression that spoke volumes. 'Would you agree to this? Would Hawke?'

'Those are two questions. They don't have the same answer.'

'I'm not a very patient woman, Fenris. Be plain.' He looked at her then, his face controlled, but Dorian could see the battle of emotions behind those eyes. The man was ripping himself apart on the inside.

'Hawke … would not balk. I know that.' Dorian decided to rescue him.

'Lenka, see it this way. Imagine someone once tied you down and burnt every hair on your body, blackening enough of your skin to almost kill you. How would you feel about someone approaching with a torch, telling you they'll make you feel warm?' He shrugged. 'It's your choice, Fenris. I'll help, if you want that.'

'I can do this myself.'

'Sorry. No. You can't. You may not even be able to get to the Fade, we'll see that when it happens. Then those mages would have wasted their spell and need time to recuperate. If I come with you, worst case is I'm in the Fade alone. What is certain, however, is that I've been there, even if that was only once. I know enough to help us find some information if there is any to be found and remain safe until the spell pulls us back; or even to tell Solas I'm done and he can bring me back.'

'I can speak for myself. And I won't go anywhere with you.'

'Well, then don't,' Jowan said at last. 'Look, I'm not sending you alone. You go with Dorian, or not at all.'

Fenris's gaze snapped to Jowan, and the last bit of strength bled out of him. 'All right. So be it.'

'We need time to prepare. Solas and I will have to figure out how long you can or should be gone, and those of us who cast need to be well rested. You should be, too.'

Lenkala nodded. 'True. Fenris, don't expect too much. What we found there was … not pleasant. I doubt that Hawke is alive. All I want is proof either way, but don't get your hopes up.'

'I had little hope when I came. I have none now. You have my thanks for trying.'

Lenkala's expression changed. Dorian knew her well enough by now to know that she felt for him. He looked entirely defeated. If Dorian hadn't seen him earlier, he'd never have believed this man had it in him to harm anything. His must have searched for Hawke so doggedly that the prospect of everything being futile left him with nothing. Drained. 'This isn't over yet,' Lenkala tried. 'Just …'

Fenris stood and she fell silent. 'I understand.'

Dorian looked at the retreating figure. 'You know,' he said quietly, 'I don't like this. I don't like his slouch, I don't like that look in his eyes, I don't like his markings, I don't like anything about him.'

'As far as I can tell, the feeling is mutual,' Lenkala said calmly.

'I don't mean it like that. I mean, sure, I won't bawl my eyes out when he leaves, given that he actively hates me – even though I get why he does. But what I mean is that I think he might choose to do something very irreversible if this goes wrong.'

'That Tevene for someone being suicidal?'

'Perhaps. I don't know, maybe I'm reading too much into it. But if this doesn't work, and I have as little hope as you do, we'd better keep an eye on him.' He sighed. 'He said he talked to Cole. I'm afraid, for once, our friend has done more harm than good.'

((Don't get used to that frequency of updates. Had the telephone today in my office, and that means I had time between calls.))