Forgotten 4

There's a fresh thread of darkness coursing through my veins, but Ares doesn't know that I can control it easily. I have to look like I can't though and I have to make it convincing. I wrap the urn up tightly and always keep it at my side. I wonder who's ashes are in there, or if it's even the ashes of a person.

He looms by me constantly, whispering in my ear, trying to seduce me towards darkness and towards him. He only succeeds in making me hate him more and more with every passing second.

'Quit playing games Ares. Are you going to tell me or not, cus I have to kick someone's ass right now.' I snarl at him. He smirks at me, the dark Xena gets him excited.

'Tisk tisk Xena. One thing at a time.' He waves a finger at me. 'Now I have a little problem I need your help with first.' This is only to be expected from the God of War. He may never tell me the information I want to know, hoping I find killing too much to resist.

'What?' I curl my lip at him, a sickness building in my stomach.

'There's a pesky little warlord that needs to be…. taken care of.' His eyebrow arches as he crosses his arms across his chest.

'And you want me to what? Kill him?'

'You read my mind. See I knew this would work out.' I let his comment slip, but it doesn't go completely unnoticed from me.

'Gloating doesn't look pretty on you.' He merely smirks in reply. He circles me too closely for my liking; the energy he radiates makes me want to vomit. 'Tell me who.' Usual story; the guy pissed Ares off. Like I really give a shit.

'I thought you could maybe, I don't know kill him and take command of his men.' He stops his pacing, coming up nearly against me. 'You will need an army.' He's licking his lips as he looks at me. I place a finger under his chin, forcing his eyes from my breasts to my face.

'Always thinking ahead.' I think he likes the coldness in my eyes.

'Well, you know me.' His chest puffs out and he poses as if for a statue. 'Now you know if you need to work out a little….anger before that..' He leans in close as if to kiss me. I take my finger, trailing it slowly down his chest. My tongue takes a slow trip across my lips before I turn walking away. I make it worth his while to watch me leave, exaggerating the sway of my hips. He's so easy.

I flip the sais over and over in my hand, contemplating, analyzing. The blood is real but I have no way of knowing who's it is. Shit. There has to be something I'm missing, anything. I can feel my mother's eyes on me as I walk away. She couldn't understand what I'm doing, because to her Gabrielle is dead. Why fight for the memory of someone who would've hated the exact thing I'm about to do?

Walking this road alone is harder than I could ever have imagined. Closing my eyes I imagine that she's walking right by my side. I can smell the scent of her soap, hear her humming something under her breath. I want to reach out to feel that she really is here. But there is nothing but empty space as my traveling companion.

I have to wonder if I can really keep my darkness under control. I may be stepping into something I can never return from, but I'll gladly do it a thousand times over if it means seeing her again. I know I'll see her, because if she was dead right now, then I would be too.

'Hey Xena!' Joxer is running towards me. I'm not sure if I should keep him from following me or to just let him come along and see the damage I can do.

'I couldn't find Autolycus. They said he hadn't been there for weeks.' He's panting from running as he tries to keep up with my quick pace. I already figured that I hadn't met the real King of Thieves that night in the stables. Someone thinks I'm easily fooled though and that's really beginning to get on my nerves.

'Hey, where ya going?'

'I have some things to take care of.' I try not to sound too menacing but his attitude immediately changes.

'What about Gabrielle?' He asks. Reaching out I grab the collar of his shirt, twisting the fabric in my hand.

'She's dead.' He looks uncomfortable and sad as his eyes drop.

'I wanted to tell you.' His voice is already defeated. I can't believe he loves her when he is always so quick to let her go. I release his shirt, watching as he readjusts himself.

'Joxer go home.' Turning from him, I continue my determined march down the road.

'But Xena?' He's stuck in his spot, unsure of what he should do. For the moment I've sufficiently scared him, but I know he will eventually follow me. I don't have time to worry about him. I'm already pushing him out of my mind, trying to focus on the last time I saw her.

Gabrielle had practically begged to visit Amphipolis. She wanted a bed and a meal she didn't have to cook. She had so many ideas of what to do with the down time. Aside from shopping of course, we needed to get reacquainted with the less dangerous aspects of our lives.

'Come on Xena, please?' She tries to pout at me.

'Fine.' I roll my eyes at her, like I could really say no. She's jumping into my arms, throwing her legs around my waist, her arms around my neck. 'Gabrielle.' I caution her, but it's pointless as her lips meet mine. Instantly I'm lost in her energy. It's been too long since we've actually took the time to be; just me and her and nothing but skin against skin.

I could take her, right here right now as a savage feeling begins to grow within me. She's relentless and hungry with her kiss, dominating me, taking control. This is a dangerous game to play as I stand with her in my arms, in the middle of this dirt road where anyone can come across us.

An invisible hand is squeezing my chest, crushing every bone in my body. At least that's what it feels like right now. Why would Ares keep her alive? He's not as confident in his plan as he tries to pretend. He needs a last minute leverage item. Haven't we been through this before? This time I'm sure she's not laying in a hospice somewhere. If I continue to imagine what might be happening; the darkness will grow beyond my control.