4 Penny and Marsha Sleep
"Hope there's someone who'll take care of me
When I die, Will I go?
Hope there's someone who'll set my heart free
Nice to hold when I'm tired
There's a ghost on the horizon
When I go to bed
How can I fall asleep at night
How will I rest my head?
Oh I'm scared of the middle place
Between light and nowhere
I don't want to be the one
Left in there, left in there
There's a man on the horizon
Wish that I'd go to bed
If I fall to his feet tonight
Will allow rest my head?
So here's hoping I will not drown
Or paralyze in light
And godsend I don't want to go
To the seal's watershed
Hope there's someone who'll take care of me
When I die, Will I go?
Hope there's someone who'll set my heart free
Nice to hold when I'm tired"
'Hope There's Someone' by Antony and the Johnsons
That night Marsha and Penny shared a bed. Marsha turned one way then the other. Penny hovered near sleep once and then again as Marsha would lie still for a minute or two and then roll jerking Penny awake.
"Marsha, it's nice to be able to sleep in a real bed again, isn't it?"
Marsha faced Penny in the dark. The light from the moon filtered through the curtains covering the lone window in their bedroom.
"It wasn't supposed to be this way. I had a husband and a baby, for a while at least, and I had a house and a future. And is it really gone, or is this a nightmare?"
"It could be worse."
"Really, Penny, how could it be worse? This is not what I thought the reverend's Sunday sermons meant when he talked about what waited for us in the hereafter. It just doesn't seem real."
"I've seen a lot since my own passing. I know there's something more. I've sent thousands into those beautiful lights."
"Why did I have to die? I hardly did anything. And if I did have to die, why didn't I get to go into those lights? What…what did I do to deserve this hell?"
"I've also watched many people go into something much darker just like Charles talked about tonight. I don't know what I did or why I was picked to stay in this in-between life. I just don't know, but…Marsha…I do know that I don't want to go to the dark place. And even if I have to stay here for a while how…or what does it matter compared to an eternity someplace better?"
Penny held out her arms and Marsha allowed herself to be held as they moved closer and settled in. With her arms around Marsha, Penny could feel the tension leave her.
Marsha took a deep breath. "It seems like an eternity already here. I don't know if I can do this. You know, Penny, I'm often prone to anxiety attacks, so I really wasn't a good choice for this."
"Sweetie, I know it won't be easy for you, but just take it one day at a time. Just take on each task one step at a time and let yourself get used to this new life. I know you didn't ask for it. I didn't either, but try to see it as an opportunity. Maybe God is testing you for something bigger someday."
"I hope not. I'm not made for anything bigger. I just wanted…I just want my life…the one I had. I was going to have children, raise them, and grow old with my husband. I miss my father, my mother, my brothers and sisters, and my little baby. It hurts just to think that they're there and they think I'm gone. But I'm not, I'm right here. I never even got to hold my son but for a few minutes and then it was all over. That's just not fair. It's just not fair."
Marsha cried softly as she drifted off soon followed by Penny.
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