I'm sorry it's been forever since I've updated. We had some really bad weather a few weeks ago and it killed everything including the internet. Hope that if I have any other readers from the south that you're all well, too.
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.
OOOO
Dear Ryan,
I'm certain that most girls don't write you a follow up letter, but I wanted to tell you thank-you for the advice. I did break up with my boyfriend and have since then been feeling much better about myself.
I believe I have a new problem though. Recently…Well, about a week ago, my boss hired a new worker. I think I'm beginning to have feelings for him. I don't know if they are genuine or simply because I'm recently single. At times he seems interested in me. Other times he just seems like he'd rather be miles away from me.
What do I do? Do I tell this guy how I'm feeling despite the fact that I'm unsure? Do I just continue working with him as though nothing has changed?
-Naïve Girl
She read over the letter once and sighed. It wasn't enough that she had to turn to an advice column for her love life. She had somehow found out that the Ryan guy had gone virtual with an email address. After twenty minutes of thinking she made a fake email account and sent him the letter.
His advice last time had helped her slightly. She only hoped that this time around worked as well.
A light tapping on her door brought her out of her thoughts. She hit send, groaning in frustration when the screen seemed to have frozen. She vowed to start bringing her laptop to work rather than using the crappy desktop she had been provided with. She looked up at the door after her letter had finally sent. She smiled upon seeing Sam waltz in. His green eyes were sparkling with amusement. "Some guy just asked me for my number." He laughed before waltzing over to the chair across from her and plopping down.
"Did you let him down easy?" He shook his head.
"I gave him my number." She coughed, startled by his answer. "Of course, it was Puck's number, but that isn't really relevant." Quinn laughed loudly, missing the way Sam's face lit up at hearing her.
"Have you been by Miss Berry's office?" His carefree smile faded away. She had noticed, even only after a week, that any time she mentioned their boss Sam would tense. Sam was definitely one of her best friends at the office, but he had yet to confide in her what the problem was with the brunette. She had known about their relationship, but she had yet to know how serious any of it was. He simply made it sound as though they had dated a month and broken up when she cheated on him.
Admittedly, she herself had problems with her boss for a few days after finding out about Finn. Of course any animosity held towards the brunette passed after realizing that Finn had been the wrong-doer-not her and not Rachel.
"I haven't." She nodded before picking up a note and handing it to her. "What's this?"
"Just take it." His eyes flickered over the message. He sighed before standing up and heading towards her door. She ignored the sadness she felt at knowing he was leaving. She usually abandoned her job halfway through the day to accompany Sam at his station anyway.
"I guess I need to go see what the boss lady wants," he finally whispered before waving goodbye.
She groaned in frustration. Her love life was destined to be a wreck; she was absolutely certain of that much. Her cell phone vibrated against the wooden desk, efficiently scaring her and bringing her out of her thoughts.
She picked up the device and groaned.
"What do you want?" She snapped.
"Look at you growing a backbone again. Reminds me of the Quinn I once knew and loved." She waited for the boy to continue. "I was just wondering if you got my flowers, Babe. I'm ready for us to get back together."
The blonde snorted. "Finn, get over yourself. I'm not pathetic enough to crawl back. Not this time." He laughed.
"Of course you aren't, Babe. You know you love me. It's just going to take you some time to realize you aren't anything without me." She scoffed.
"Has Rachel not taken you back? Is that why you're so adamant on winning me over?" She smirked, knowing she finally had an upper hand. Finn sputtered for a few moments before collecting himself.
"How do you know Rachel?" Her smirk grew.
"You really were a shitty boyfriend, Finn. How did you not know that Rachel was my boss? I know I mentioned it on multiple occasions. You got sloppy, Finn. Not only that, but I know that Sam never did anything wrong to you. You took everything from him-just like you're trying to do to me."
"You don't talk to me like that," he growled. She wondered where the man she had once loved had gone. He had once been simple and loving. He had turned into some sort of monster along the way, and she was only then getting to see it.
"I'm hanging up, Finn. I'm at work. If you keep calling I won't hesitate to change my number." With that she ended the call before leaning back in her chair and inhaling deeply.
OOOO
"I'm supposed to come see you," Sam calmly stated after peeking his head into Rachel's office. The brunette beamed before waving him inside. He slowly entered and stood as far away as possible. "What can I help you with?"
"This new band that everyone seems interested in is playing at Ricky's later." He nodded, unsure of what she was trying to say. "You need to go there and see what the fuss is about." He once again nodded. He was certain he could handle that much. "Do you want to meet me there?"
"What?" He quickly asked. He noticed the hurt that flashed across her face but a part of him couldn't bring himself to care. "You're going with me?" She slowly nodded.
"Unless you'd rather take someone else in the department? Quinn perhaps?" He stood there weighing in his options.
"It's fine, Miss Berry," he whispered before turning to go. "Just give me the details."
"Sam." He turned around slowly. "Just call me Rachel. It makes me feel really weird when you call me Miss Berry."
"That's what everyone else calls you," he replied. "I'm just following the crowd, Miss Berry." She nodded and cleared her throat. His cell phone chose that moment to spring to life. Rachel watched in amusement as the theme from Batman filled the air. Sam groaned.
"You can take the call, Sam," Rachel instructed. Sam nodded before answering the device.
"What do you want, Puck?" He snapped. "No, I'm busy. I got off and came straight here. No, there are no hot women. No, Puck, I'm not handing out your number. Goodbye." He was brought out of his anger by the sound of Rachel's laughter.
"That was Noah, right?" Sam nodded. "He hasn't changed a bit. He's still deplorable apparently." Sam smiled.
"You have no idea. He's got a good heart though." He wondered if the brunette across from him ever missed her friends from high school. She was bound to have made new friends since then, but Noah Puckerman had always been her best friend back in the day. They shared a Jew bond or something. He had known that losing the diva's friendship had severely damaged the womanizer for a while.
Of course he bounced back from that.
"I know," Rachel whispered almost sadly. Suddenly she perked up. Even though Sam knew he had no right to say he knew Rachel anymore he knew she had come up with some sort of plan. "Do you think he would like to come tonight? I remember him being into music." Sam grimaced.
"I don't think that would be a good idea, Rachel…" Her face fell. "I'll see what I can do though." Rachel smiled.
"I might be willing to drag my assistant along if Noah were to agree. I wouldn't want anyone to be a fifth wheel." He knew what she was doing and yet he didn't care. At the mention of the blonde he was certain that Noah Puckerman would be attending that night.
He rushed down the various hallways to get to his small office-though he would hardly call it such. He plopped down at the computer before pulling his cell phone out and dialing Puck's number.
"This is God speaking," the voice filtered through. Sam rolled his eyes.
"God, it's Sam. Why haven't you returned my calls?" Puck scoffed. Sam vaguely heard the sound of a refrigerator door opening.
"What do you want, Evans? I'm about to eat some pizza and drink a beer. Know why? That's the stereotype of badass." Sam tapped his keyboard nervously.
"Really? I kind of thought it was redneck." Puck grunted. "I need a favor, man." Puck replied but with a mouth full of pizza. "Dude, I have no idea what you just said. Swallow the food first. Don't be a caveman."
"I said what do you need? Quit being so damn complicated." Sam swallowed thickly.
"Well, I'm going to see some band play tonight. I was thinking that Quinn would go, and then you could go and find a girl there to woo or whatever." He could picture Puck sitting on the couch rubbing his mohawk.
"I think you're lying, bro. What is this really about?" Sam pouted. He hated that he could be so see-through.
"Rachel wants to see you again. She told me that if I got you to tag along then she would invite Quinn." He heard complete silence on the other end of the line. "Puck?"
"You told me you didn't like that Quinn girl." His voice was soft-something Sam wasn't used to. He rubbed the back of his neck out of a nervous habit.
"Well," he drawled, "I don't." Puck let out a puff of air.
"Then I'm not doing it." Sam sighed. His roommate knew him too well. "You think I'm seriously that dumb, man? You come home talking about this chick all of the time. I get excited for you, you know. I think it's like the first time you've actually talked about a girl since Rachel. I'm willing to go to this crap tonight. I'm fine with sitting through some sets and being around Rachel Berry." He paused. "Rachel Berry of all people, you know how I feel about her now, Man." Sam nodded despite the fact that Puck couldn't see him. "So you tell me the truth. Do you like this Quinn chick at all? Even just a little tiny bit?"
"Yes." The word flew out of his mouth before he could stop himself. He didn't know if he was just saying it so that someone besides Rachel would be there or because he truly had feelings for the blonde.
But he couldn't like Quinn. And he didn't.
"Alright," Puck replied. "Alright," he repeated. "I'll go to this thing. I'll even play nice with Berry." Sam broke out into a smile.
"Thank you so much, Puck," Sam replied. He finished his goodbyes before turning to face his computer. He logged into his email and shot Rachel a quick one informing him that Puck would be along for the ride.
It was then that he got the urge to check Ryan's mail. He quickly logged onto the fake account and skimmed through the emails. He chuckled upon finding one from Girl, Naïve. He clicked on it and read with rapt attention. The girl seemed to always be going through things he himself had problems with. It was surreal in a way.
He wrote back his response and was reviewing it when the blonde girl he had been thinking about waltzed in through his door. "Quinn," he shrieked before clicking the send button and minimizing his windows. "What a surprise?"
"Rachel just told me I was going out to dinner with you and your roommate. Oh, and also her. What the hell, Sam?" Sam shrugged his shoulders before sinking into his chair. He didn't know anything about going out to eat. "Then I have to go to some band thing? I'm the assistant. I don't do this stuff."
"I'm sorry, Quinn." He hoped that he came across as sincere. "It's just, Rachel and I have history. Bad history. I gave you the CliffNotes version, but that doesn't even come close to explaining everything." She nodded. "She wanted me to go with her alone tonight. When she gave me an out to have other people tag along I had to take it. I just can't." He felt his voice cracking. He wasn't going to fall apart like some little girl, he told himself. He cleared his throat and pushed on through. "I can't go out with just her. I just can't."
"It's okay," she replied immediately. "I was just confused as to why I was being involved, but now that I understand…" She shook her head. "I look forward to spending time with you outside of this building," she whispered before winking. His eyes widened comically as she rushed out of the door.
XXXXXXXX
Dear Naïve Girl,
I love how you made yourself an email account so you could write me. I feel flattered. ;)
I really am glad that you got rid of the boyfriend. I believe that with time you'll be even happier than you are now. The minute you get into a mature relationship-one where both parties are equally involved you will realize that this guy just wasn't right for you.
Falling for a co-worker is a bad thing. It always is. Except when it isn't. :D Give yourself time to move on. You are too special to have a rebound. Don't give yourself to undeserving guys, okay?
Sincerely, Oh, you can write me anytime. Your letters give me hope that there are normal girls out there. ;P
Ryan
Quinn smiled before shutting the computer down. She wished that she could meet the Ryan Jackson, extraordinaire of all things female. He was able to make her feel worthy of things despite the fact that he had never had a true conversation with her.
She couldn't help but still feel pathetic that the closest thing she had to a boyfriend was a guy who emailed thousands of women a day.
With a final glance at the clock she stood up and exited her office. She had to go home and make herself look presentable for the outing she was being forced to go on.
A part of her looked forward to it though. It meant spending time with Sam. Maybe she could finally get to know the guy under the surface and find out if she was truly attracted to him or if it was just the hormones in her talking.
"Quinn," a familiar voice shouted. She turned around and smiled. "Here is the address," Rachel handed her a piece of paper once she had caught up with the blonde. She nodded.
"Who all is going?"
"Sam, you, me and his roommate. I told you that in the email I sent, right?" Quinn nodded. "I really do think that this will be enjoyable."
"Am I going to be a distraction for Sam or his roommate?" Rachel opened her mouth to respond but then quickly shut it. "Rachel, I'm a girl. I know how this works. Who are you after?" The brunette sighed before nodding her head towards the exit.
"It's a long story, Quinn. I don't think that now is the best time to tell it." The blonde nodded. "But Sam was my first boyfriend," she added with a wistful smile. The blonde couldn't help but feel somewhat angered by it. "He loved me. He truly cared about me, and I took advantage of that. And for what?" She shouted. The blonde looked around awkwardly. "He's a great guy, and I hurt him so, so much."
"I'm aware," the blonde mumbled under her breath. "I don't understand why you would cheat on him if you knew that he cared that much about you." Rachel sighed and Quinn knew she had gotten all that she was going to get. "I guess I need to go," she added, aware that the brunette had never answered her original question.
OOOO
"Dude, why are you dressing up? This girl sees you every day that you work up there. I think she knows what you look like when you're wearing nice clothes." Sam ignored his roommate and continued to tie his tie.
"I just don't want to look like a slob, Puck," he snapped. Puck raised his arms up in surrender.
"I'll wait in the living room. I'm not changing, for the record," he called out before leaving Sam to his thoughts. He took his glasses off and looked at them for a moment before setting them down on his dresser.
He walked into the bathroom and pulled his contact case out of the drawer and popped them in. He looked at himself in the mirror. It was almost as though he had reverted back to his sixteen year old self. He went back into his bedroom and tugged off the white button up shirt and settled for a plain green and white baseball tee he wore to lounge around the house in. He eased his khakis off and replaced them with worn and faded jeans before grabbing his sneakers and putting them on.
He quickly made his way into the living room where Puck was waiting. They were already running late, which wouldn't have been a problem except Rachel was in fact his boss. "Let's go, manwhore," Sam shouted once he entered the room. Puck eyed him curiously but said nothing. Instead he simply followed the taller boy out of the house and into the car parked down the block.
"I'm kind of scared," Puck admitted once they were driving towards the restaurant. Sam kept a tight-lipped smile. He was too.
"Why?" He questioned, although he was certain he already knew the answer. He glanced at the Jewish boy once he turned right down Mason Avenue.
"I'm just…I don't know. It's been years since I've seen her." Sam nodded. "I know that she hurt you, but you know how I feel about things. Or… Well, you know how I felt," he whispered while rubbing his knees.
"It's fine, man. Just… if it gets too messed up we'll leave, alright? Rachel isn't a bitch. She never has been so I don't think she'll actually do anything too messed up." Puck chuckled before looking out the window and letting the rest of the ride go by in silence.
Sam eased the car into a parking spot before jumping out of the vehicle and running his hands through his hair nervously. Puck followed suit, looking around the area once he had gotten out of the car. "Are they already inside?"
"I don't know…" Sam trailed off before pulling his cell phone out. He thought better of texting the brunette and opted for going inside instead. Puck followed him almost like a lost puppy dog.
"Name?" Sam looked up to see the redhead woman looking at him with a smile on her face.
"Berry maybe?" She looked down at her book and nodded before getting a server to show them to their seats. He frowned upon realizing they had gotten there first. Puck looked around the room.
"This place is swanky. Is Berry going to be paying?" Sam shrugged his shoulders, wishing he had kept his original outfit on."Well, I'm not so it's either you or her."
"I figured that much, Puck," Sam replied with a chuckle. He looked up in enough time to see Rachel walking over. She eased herself into a chair between he and Puck.
"Sorry I'm late," she whispered before setting her purse underneath the table. "Traffic was horrible." Sam nodded in agreement. "Noah," she whispered. The mohawked boy looked at a loss for words. "You look good," she added.
"Cool," he replied before taking a bite out of a piece of bread that had been brought to them. "Where's Quinn at?" Rachel looked around as though she had just realized the blonde was missing.
"I'm not sure. I'll send her a quick message." Puck nodded before sending Sam an apologetic look. "What's changed since high school?"
"Nothing," Puck's answer was curt. Sam wondered if the rest of the evening was going to go by just as awkwardly. "You'd know that though if you were still friends with us." She opened her mouth and shut it before looking down to her lap. "That's right though; we left you behind, didn't we? You don't deserve us being here tonight."
"Puck, stop," Sam interrupted harshly. "There's no point in that, alright?" Puck nodded, though Sam had a feeling the game wasn't exactly over.
"It's okay," Rachel replied. "Quinn is on her way, Sam." The brunette boy nodded, excited that his blonde co-worker would be arriving shortly.
"So, about this Quinn girl," Puck stated, "is she a good person? I don't want Sam getting involved with another bitch." Sam's eyes snapped shut at the dig. He heard Rachel's intake of breath.
"I wasn't aware that they were interested in each other romantically," she whispered. Puck smirked but his eyes betrayed his feelings. "Quinn is a lovely girl," she added. Rachel looked over at Sam and attempted to send him a small smile.
"She's just gotten out of a relationship where her boyfriend cheated on her. I doubt she's ready for another relationship. It takes a long time to bounce back from that kind of stuff," Sam replied before taking a drink out of the wine glass.
"Sam, I'm sorry," Rachel whispered despite the fact that Puck was sitting on the opposite side of her. He grabbed her wrist.
"Rachel, let's go talk for a minute," he growled before tugging her away from the table. He wished the world would just open a hole and let him fall through it.
"What's wrong with you?" He recognized that angelic voice. He smiled before opening his eyes to see Quinn standing before him. "Did you scare the other guests away?"
"Something like that," he replied. He pointed to the chair beside him and watched as she sat down beside him. Her hair was let down in loose waves, unlike the tight ponytail she would wear to work. She wasn't wearing much make-up, but she still looked beautiful to Sam. Upon realizing his inner thoughts he began to panic. His insides began to scream "abort" as a mantra.
"You look less uptight than usual," she commented with a chuckle. Sam rolled his eyes playfully before grabbing a piece of bread.
"I'll show you uptight," he whispered before throwing the buttered bread at her. She shrieked before flinging the bread back at him. "Surrender," he shouted. Quinn threw her head back in laughter, and it was then that he had realized what he had done.
"I know that voice," she rasped in between her laughter and attempts at catching her breath. "That was supposed to be James Earl Jones, right?" He nodded sheepishly and ducked his head. "You're so cute, Sam."
"My dorky side comes out when I'm around you," he grumbled.
"I like dorks," she replied with a shrug of her shoulders. Sam was certain that he was blushing out of sheer embarrassment alone, but he chose not to respond. The vibrating in his pants pocket signaled a text message coming through.
Berry's n the bathroom cryin. Im comin back to the table.
He sighed before looking up to see that Quinn was watching him with worried eyes. "I'll be right back." She nodded as he went to the back of the restaurant to the restrooms.
He questioned his sanity as he pushed the ladies door open and poked his head in. He sighed upon realizing no one was in there. He quickly entered and walked over to the occupied stall. "Rachel," he whispered.
"Sam?" The broken voice came from behind the stall. "What are you doing in here?"
"I came to check on you," he replied, leaving his hand pressed against the cold stall. "Let me in?" She once again began to cry hysterically but opened the door. His heart broke all over again at seeing the wrecked girl. He quickly wrapped his arms around the frail girl and rubbed his hands up and down her back soothingly.
It had been years since he had held her in such a way and all memories and feelings of his past came rushing back.
"Why are you so nice, Sam? I treated you horribly and you're here seeing how I am? No wonder you love Quinn."
"I don't love Quinn," he whispered into her hair. "I'm not going to treat you like crap because of things that happened in the past, Rachel. You hurt me, but I've said some pretty mean things to you, alright? I think that we should leave the past behind us. Puck isn't one to let things go though." She nodded into his chest before pulling away to look into his eyes.
He knew what was coming when he saw her reach up onto her tip-toes. Everything was screaming at him to pull away, to get out, but he couldn't. He was frozen with fear. Her lips pressed against his slowly. It had been the first time he'd kissed her in years and it was exactly as he had remembered it being.
Blonde hair and hazel eyes flashed before his closed eyes. He slowly began to kiss back, easing her against the wall and pressing his hands against her neck. He groaned before logic rushed back causing him to pull away. "Oh my God," he panicked. "I can't…I have to leave."
The last thing he saw was Rachel brushing her fingers over her lips.
OOOO
She watched him storm out the front doors of the restaurant in confusion. "I'm sorry, I'll be right back," she stated to Sam's roommate. He nodded but she was already chasing after Sam. She watched as he paced around the parking lot as though he were out of his mind. "Sam," she shouted. The boy turned around and it was then she saw his red-rimmed eyes. "What's wrong?" She walked over and watched as he fell to the sidewalk in one swift motion. She sat beside him and waited with baited breath for him to say something.
"Rachel kissed me." His voice was low and broken. "She kissed me, and now all I can think about is high school and how we could have had everything together. We could have been married by now. We'd be in New York though so she could be on Broadway." He laughed although she wasn't certain what at. A part of her felt disappointed that he was still hung up on Rachel.
"You sound like you had it all planned out." He nodded before plucking at a loose thread on his shirt. "How long were you two together?" She waited on edge for his answer.
"Four years." She gasped. "We were together four years, and she cheated the entire time." It made sense now why Sam Evans was so entirely and completely broken.
It was ironic that the one person she found herself willing to open up to had been the one guy who had been through the exact same thing as she. "With Finn?" He nodded. Suddenly she felt the urge to chop her ex-boyfriend's man-parts off with a butter-knife.
"When she kissed me…" She waited for him to say something. His green eyes locked with hers. "Never mind," he whispered before looking away. "I have to go. Tell Puck he doesn't have to stay with Rachel." She nodded.
OOOO
Dear Ryan,
The guy I think I could possibly like is still in love with his ex-girlfriend…
She rolled her eyes before deleting the message and slamming her laptop shut.
OOOO
Dear Ryan,
I think I'm still in love with the guy I dated in high school.
The brunette wiped her eyes with a tissue before continuing to type out nonsense in a drunken state of mind.
OOOO
Ryan,
I think I'm still in love with Rachel Berry. Please don't kick me out of your apartment.
Puck
He nodded in approval before hitting send and waiting for his best friend to get the letter.