She's got you high and you don't even know yetShe's got you high and you don't even know yetIt's the search for the time before it leaves without youHave you lost your mind or has she taken all of yours too?

- She's Got You High, Mumm-ra

:::

Peeta's POV

I have no idea what I'm doing. It's not like I have any romantic feelings for Katniss Everdeen, so why do I have this urge to keep her alive. Not to mention that I still have Jewel to worry about at home, thinking of her makes me remember the promise we made back in District 12:

"Peeta!" Jewel shouts as she enter the velvet room to say good bye, maybe forever. Tears start pouring down her face when she wraps her arms around me tightly. "I love you. I love you so much, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me! I can't let you go, not without you knowing this."

This should shock me more than it does, but all I say is, "I know." I cringe immediately, it must sound so selfish. It sounds like even without her saying it, I knew she had no choice but to be romantically attracted to me. She immediately looks up at me, a puzzled expression showing behind her tears.

"I don't mean it like that!" I say, holding her out at arms length. "What I mean is that there's a chance it could be different, if I wasn't headed for my imminent death." There disaster averted.

"Then… you're saying that things could be different between us, that is, if you make it home?" her eyes light up a little bit, but even so, the darkness of the day has my light completely drained.

"Yeah, it could possibly be different." I'm confused by my own words. I don't really think that it could be different. I think of her as being my friend. It's hard to imagine her being more, but I try. I really, really do.

::::::::

I made that promise to her, thinking that I could never come back home again. Is that why I'm trying to help Katniss win? Because I don't want to go back and face my confused feelings about Jewel? I don't know, it's probably just a sense of protectiveness I have over Katniss, ever since that day where I threw her the bread. I still don't even know why I did that. I'm overcome with conflicting emotions when I my name is called to do my interview.

For the first minute and a half Caesar and I go through an entertaining back and forth banter about the mysteries in the Capitol I can't seem to comprehend, for example, the showers. The people of the Capitol are eating it up, loving every second of it. Then Caesar brings up the unmentionable question. Do I have a special girl?

"Haha, well Caesar. It's complicated." I say, immediately regretting the words.

"I'm sure we all can handle it. It's probably not anything that can't be fixed with you winning, eh?" He says nudging my elbow as the crowd gives a deafening cheer.

"She came here with me." I blurt out, before anything in my head makes sense, before I can use my brain to think up a suitable answer to that. Because the answer I gave was in no way suitable. The crowd gasps, and Caesar, for once, looks lost for words.

"That's very unfortunate." He finally says. "I wish you all the best. May the odds be ever in your favour." He says it in a calm, almost sa- no, not almost sad. He definitely said it sadly. Who can blame him. I turned me and Katniss into star-crossed lovers, without even meaning too. I did something stupid, I know.

I make my way back to Katniss's side, she looks at me questionably, looking more confused than I am, if that's even possible.

"It'll give you an edge. Make you look more desirable." I say, then turn on my heel wanting to get out of this place. Forever, never to return.

:::::

I hope she doesn't hate me. She would have every right to, I humiliated her in front of the entire nation. The entire nation. Jewel was watching that. My head hurts at the thought of how much she must be hurting right now. Then I think of Katniss, how humiliated she must be. I need to apologize to her, that's the first thing I need to do. I know where she'll be.

"Katniss?" I say cautiously as I make my way closer to where she's sitting on the roof.

"Hey Peeta." She says, flat, no emotion, monotone.

"I'm sorry!" She looks surprised. "I really didn't mean to say that. I lost my head, I was confused, it was the first thing that popped in my head!" I'm just making myself sound selfish now.

"Whatever Peeta," she looks away, but it's not long before she looks back. "Why do you think you can just play around with my emotions like that? It's not pleasant hearing that you said you love me because you 'lost your head', think about it."

"I don't know what to say Katniss. I screwed up. I didn't mean to disregard you feelings. And now we're really going to have to play this angle, huh?"

"What? You plan on going through with this?" "Yeah, we can't drop it now. I will take full responsibility and do all the work towards this act, okay?"

She scowls.

"What?" I say, my voice half pleading.

Katniss stares at me intently, looking as if she's going over her options. Her options about me.

"I can help. With the star-crossed lovers pitch. It'll give the crowd something to root for. Just don't look for me in the arena, I don't want to have to kill you."