Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight in any way, shape, or form.

A/N: I have re-written this story, I recommend you start re-reading the first chapter. Story re-written since 24-11-2011.

Chapter Four: Lonely Too

Bella

The first thing Leah and I did after leaving Sam's house was talk to Sue and Charlie about our plans. They were not pleased. Charlie didn't want to let me go especially not without a chosen destination in sight. Even as the sheriff of a small town he had encountered more than his fair share of murders and other bad things. He didn't feel comfortable with the thought of letting me out into the big bad world, not with only Leah to guard my back. It wasn't as if I could have explained to him that I had a big bad wolf to protect me from the big bad world.

Although he hated the thought of me leaving home to escape the heartbreak caused by Jake, he understood my desire of wanting to leave Forks and all my bad memories behind. Especially now that Jake was breaking up with me to be with someone else. One of Charlie's reasons for not wanting me to leave home was his worry I'd revert back to my zombie days, like I had with Edward's leaving. There was nothing I could do to convince him otherwise so I just let it go. When I first told Charlie about Jake and what he did, he freaked out. He was pissed off beyond reason and Leah actually had to sit on him until he promised not to take his shotgun and go after Jake to shoot him where the sun doesn't shine. It was actually pretty funny in retrospect.

"Dammit, Leah, get off of me right this second!"

"Not until you calm down and promise not to shoot him, Charlie. I know you really want to hurt Jake, believe me I know. But that's not what Bella needs right now," Leah stated calmly, restraining Charlie effortlessly.

"But it's what Jacob needs," Charlie grunted breathlessly trying to throw Leah off of him. "I promised that boy - I promised I would kill him if he hurt my Bella, I'm not one to break my word, Leah. Now get the hell off of me!"

"Nope," she replied casually popping the p.

Charlie's face turned red with effort as he tried to dislodge Leah from his back. "Jesus, Leah! What the hell have you been eating? You know, I actually feel little better about you and Bella going off to god knows where if you can restrain me like this."

Leah grinned widely. "Ah, that's such a nice thing to say, and usually flattery will get you everywhere with me, but not this time. Sorry, Chief."

"Leah..." Charlie groaned finally giving up his struggling. I grinned at Leah giving her two thumbs up for a job well done.

Charlie seeing the gesture scowled at me. "Fine," he sighed reluctantly. "I promise not to hurt that little-... not much anyway."

"Ah, come on, Chief, you shouldn't worry about Jacob Black, Paul already took care of it."

"Who?" Charlie asked the same time I asked, "He did?"

"Yep," Leah answered lightly after getting of Charlie's back in one smooth move. "After Jacob regained conscious thought, he decided to fight Paul, Paul kicked his ass all over La Push before warning him to stay the fuck away from you. I hear it was a good show, I regret missing it."

I gaped at Leah in shock. "Wait, what do you mean regained conscious thought? When was this?"

Leah looked puzzled. "Didn't I tell you? After you-" she broke off uncomfortably glancing at Charlie. "...Kissed Paul. Jacob went into shock or something. The dude was nearly catatonic. I thought he fainted," she chuckled mirthfully at the thought. "It was the funniest shit I ever saw. Anyway, when he snapped out of his vacation to La La land, he made the stupid mistake of starting shit with Paul - lets just say he won't make that mistake again...ever."

I stared at Leah trying to wrap my mind around what she just told us. Paul kicked Jacob's ass...that was the sweetest thing ever. I Wanted to drive down to La Push and kiss him all over again. I should thank him for doing that - maybe I should bake him a pie... or, knowing him, a couple.

"So, Who is this Paul then, and why were you kissing him?" Charlie asked wearing a small frown.

I blushed but couldn't keep the tiny self-satisfied smirk off my face. "Paul is...a friend. I kissed him because I wanted to - I don't know it seemed like a good idea at the time, can't say I regret it, though."

"Well if he kicked Jacob's ass then he's okay in my book, he better not hurt you though, otherwise I'll shoot him. Why don't you invite him over so I can casually mention my gun."

I smiled a the thought but couldn't help but feel a small pang of regret, perhaps in another situation one without all this fucked up imprinting shit, I would have done just that. "No, Charlie, I already told you, Paul and I aren't like that, we're just friends."

"Hump, must be a good friend then if you go around kissing him all the time," he replied sceptically causing Leah to chortle in amusement. She really had changed.

Charlie having known Leah for a while and never having seen her laugh turned to me with raised eyebrows. I shrugged. "She really wants to get out of here, dad. It will be good for her, the thought alone is obviously having a positive effect as you can clearly see. I feel the same," I pleaded quietly. Leah quieted down and watched us anxiously. We had talked about leaving Forks regardless of how our family felt about it, it didn't mean we didn't want their approval, though. We both waited for Charlie to make up his mind with bated breath.

"Fine! But you better take care of each other," Charlie said sounding resigned.

I immediately hugged Charlie to thank him and couldn't quite hide my shock when I felt Leah do the same.

Charlie smiled in satisfaction knowing we would leave together and take care of each other. In his mind I would at least have family with me on my travels, even if it wasn't family by blood. I think for him taking Lea with me was the ultimate proof that I wasn't planning on leaving him. Charlie thought that me leaving with Leah meant that I had to come back to Forks eventually. Poor guy, I didn't have it in me to break his heart so I stayed silent. The truth was I had no intention of coming back to Forks. A visit, maybe...probably. But to live here again? There was no way in hell that was ever going to happen. Forks and I...we were done with each other. I was convinced the town hated me as much as I hated it, so believe me when I say that it was a mutual decision.

After we succeeded in talking Charlie into giving us our blessing we found that talking Sue into letting Leah go was a whole different matter. Unlike Charlie, Sue, being on the tribal council, knew everything there was to know about the tribe protectors. Sue Clearwater thought Leah was turning her back on her duty, her heritage, and her pack. The guilt trip that woman tried to lay on Leah pissed me the hell off.

"We cannot allow you to do this, we cannot allow you to turn your back on your pack, have you no shame, Leah? What would your father think of you abandoning you pack, abandoning your brother?"

I clenched my jaw when I saw Leah flinch at the harsh words uttered by her own mother. I resisted the urge to punch Sue and kept quiet trusting Leah to handle this by herself.

"Mom, look...it's not my intention to abandon anyone, but I can't stay here, you have to understand. I don't want to-"

"Because of Sam? You plan to disgrace your ancestors because you can't handle seeing him with Emily?" Sue asked angrily.

Leah sighed tiredly. "Yes, Sam is a big part of it I'll admit that, but it's not the only reason I want to leave La Push. I was never meant to be a wolf and you know that. I'm the first woman to have ever inherited the gene, if it wasn't for those fucking Cullens living nearby I would never have shifted."

Sue's face twisted in anger a that statement. "She is partly to blame for that!" she yelled pointing at me. I glared but kept my mouth closed. I was so not taking the blame for that one. I didn't even know the wolves existed when the Cullens lived here. They came here before I moved from Phoenix and I was not responsible for their actions. Sue could kiss my ass for all I cared and if she didn't stop trying to guilt Leah into staying, I was opening my mouth and telling her exactly what I thought of her. Stupid hag.

"She is to blame for you being able to phase! If it wasn't for her they would've left, and now you come here and dare to tell me you're abandoning your family, your pack and you tribe to travel around the world for your own amusement? What about the people you're leaving behind? What about Seth? What about your pack? What abou-"

"What about me?" Leah suddenly screamed halting her mother mid rant. "What about me, huh? Did you once stop to think about me in all of this? You knew - you knew why Sam left me and you didn't tell me. You left me thinking it was something I did. You let me doubt myself, let me think I wasn't pretty enough, or smart enough. You left me in the dark and then when Sam suddenly ended up with Emily you were happy for them - happy. What about me? Why weren't you on my side in all of this? Because you were so obviously happy with their new relationship you only helped cement the thought in my mind that it was my fault that Sam didn't want me anymore!"

I watched with shock as Leah poured out her heart. I hadn't even realized how bad her heartbreak really was. Yeah sure it was bad enough that Sam left her for her cousin. But then not knowing why he did and seeing your mother, the one who should be in your corner, be happy for them was fucked up on a whole other level.

"Leah, you weren't meant to be together. If you were he would have imprinted on you," Sue sighed tiredly.

"I didn't know that! All I knew was that my boyfriend - the one person I loved more than anything in this world disappeared, came back, broke up with me, hooked up with my cousin a week later, and you were happy about it!" Leah started shaking.

Oh-oh not good. I needed to interrupt before Leah phased and decided to snack on her mother. I couldn' really blame Leah if she did 'cause...yeah, but I was pretty sure she wasn't going to like it when she came back to her senses. "Look, Sue, Leah needs to get out of here, okay."

Sue glared at me. "You presume to tell my what my daughter needs?" she asked indignantly.

Well that shit just pisses me off. "I don't presume to tell you anything, Leah just did. I don't know what the hell is going on with all of you and it isn't any of my business. Now I don't really know Leah very well, Partially because she doesn't let people get to know her and partly because she hates my guts, but even I can clearly see she's drowning. Leah is barely hanging on by a thread and the fact that you need me to tell you this, tells me more than I ever want to know about your parenting skills. You need to make a decision as a parent for once, and not as an elder of the tribe," Sue gaped at me in outrage but I couldn't give a flying fuck what she thought. It needed to be said and I could only hope Leah wasn't going to kick my ass for being rude and insulting to her mother.

I hesitantly turned to Leah to determine her reaction and held back a sigh of relief when I saw she wasn't mad at me. She eyed me with a mixture of shock and irritation but for some reason I had a feeling the irritation wasn't directed at me but at herself.

She turned to Sue who was still gaping at me. "Mom, I need this. Staying in La Push is killing me. The pack can handle things without my help. Regardless of what you say, I'm going to do this. I'm twenty years old and I don't need your permission. I'm only here out of courtesy," she spoke determinately and I knew nothing was going to keep her from leaving with me. I was glad. Even though I would've left without Leah, I was happy she was coming with me I knew with absolute certainty that if she would stay here, the next time I would visit Forks was to attend her funeral.

I turned to Sue to see how she was going to react. My mind was racing with scenarios from 'Oh baby, I'm so sorry' to 'we will talk about this without an audience'. I gaped when Sue just ignored everything her daughter just confessed to her and said, "No! You are not leaving, I won't allow you to disgrace my for-fathers!"

Yeah...the conversation went down hill from that.

It worked out in the end, though. When we left Forks we did so with Sue's blessing...kind of. She didn't really agree. She even tried to have Sam order Leah to stay here. But Sam said no. I think that was the first time in a long while that I felt something resembling respect for Sam. He was still an asshole in my book, but I could admire him for finding the strength to let Leah go in the end. I knew from personal experience that it wasn't an easy thing to do. After that I told Leah we needed to get the fuck out of dodge before the Council ordered Sam to put an edict on Leah that would prohibit her from leaving Washington. I wouldn't put it past Sue Clearwater to manipulate the tribe elders and Sam if she had to. That woman was nothing if not persistent.

Leah and I had a lot of talks about where we wanted to go and what kind of places we wanted to visit. We both agreed that our first stop would be France. We would figure out where we'd go from there. Why go so far? Well lets just say we thought it would be best to put a couple of oceans between us and La Push. Our plan was to roam around Europe and work where we could to earn money in order to pay for our travels and living expenses. Other than that, we were going to wing it. It was the flying solo and blind part of my plan.

The good thing was that other than normal girls who went on these kind of trips, we wouldn't have to worry about human predators. Leah was more than capable to deal with rapists, thieves and the occasional serial killer. She was more worried about the vampires that walked around this earth. She knew we would be a target regardless, seeing as how we were two single woman in a foreign country. But our main problem was the fact that Leah was a wolf. She wasn't going to stop phasing and that meant where ever we would be, if there were vampires in the neighborhood, they would definitely smell her and would in all likely hood come to investigate. We weren't sure if Leah being a wolf was such a good thing. It definitely wasn't bad, but it brought a whole other set of problems with it. In the end I managed to convince Leah to stop worrying about it and deal with it when happened.

First order of business was packing. We weren't taking a lot of stuff with us just enough to fit in a backpack. We were planning on buying what we needed when we needed it. I did take my Ipad with me. On it was an entire list of books including my favorites. I would miss holding the real thing in my hands, but realistically speaking it was just impossible to bring books with us on our trip.

We packed up our stuff, said goodbye to our family and friends, and left for adventure - or ran from our broken hearts. Whichever way you want to look at it I guess.

Jasper

I ran through the forest on my prey's trail, knowing it could try to run but it couldn't hide. Its life was over from the moment its scent reached my nose. I jumped and with a growl landed on my prey. My teeth found its throat and with one rip warm blood flooded my mouth. It tasted like shit. I never enjoyed the taste of animal blood, I hated it, but with being an empath I hated to feel the fear and terror my human victims felt before I killed them more. Sustaining myself on animal blood was preferable to that. I dropped my prey's carcass to the ground and turned to head home.

Home. It was funny how much pain that one small word could make me feel. I didn't have a home anymore. Not since my bitch of an ex-wife, Alice, threw me out of ours five years ago. I ignored the sharp burst of pain I felt in my chest at the thought of my former home and family. I missed the Cullens. I missed hanging out with Emmet and Rosalie, missed the love I could feel between Carlisle and Esmé, hell I even missed Edward with his 'woe is me' emotions. Who I didn't miss though, was Alice.

Alice fucking Cullen. Oh how I longed to kill the miserable bitch. She was the reason for my current depression. The reason why I was tired of my un-life in the first place. Because of her actions, I was so depressed that If I were human I probably would have killed myself. But since I wasn't, I couldn't. Sure, I could have gone to visit the Volturi, ask them to end my dreary existence. But knowing them, I'd probably get drafted. And knowing how they operated it wouldn't be no 'be all you can be' either, probably more like an 'eat all you can eat' thing. I had no intention of falling into that particular death-trap. Those Volturi fuckers were real slick like. They acquired themselves a vampire that had the ability to form bonds between people, tie them closer together, separate them. Before I'd know it I'd be eating humans left and right while calling those Volturi fuckers master. Yeah right, like I would call anyone master. Not fucking likely!

No, that path wasn't one I would willingly walk again, I would not feed off humans. Not because I didn't enjoy it. God no! There was nothing like some good old fashion AB negative blood. But other than the fact that I hated to feel their emotions as I drained them, I didn't eat humans for two reasons, the first one being my parents. Esmé and Carlisle Cullen only fed off of animal blood and it would break their hearts to see their son running around with red eyes. I knew that because they loved me they would accept it as my decision, but I didn't want to disappoint them. The other reason I didn't feed off human blood was less noble and more out of spite. It was because of Alice, my ex-wife.

I guess the second reason calls for an explanation.

I used to be part of the Cullen family, I technically still am. They took me and my bitch of a mate in, showed us how to hunt animals, treated me like a son. They were good people. I bonded with every one of them. Loved them like they were my real parents and brothers and sister. To be honest, I still did. I would still be with them today if it wasn't for my bitch of a mate. Alice...fucking Alice. I hated her screeching ass. I changed who I was for her, I did everything she told me to do. She had my balls wrapped around her tiny fingers with that fucked up parlor trick she calls a gift. You see, Alice could see the future, and when we first met she told me we belonged together. Me, being the one who originally started the emo movement, was stupid enough to take her word for it. That's how desperate I was at that point in my life. I thought I finally found my mate, that I could finally find some semblance of peace. I was a fucking idiot.

Alice told me she had received a vision of us finding a family that fed off of animal blood, and that we would be happy living among them. I was ecstatic, I didn't want to kill humans anymore. By being an empath I had the ability to feel and influence other people's emotions, and it made it very difficult to enjoy human blood when I could feel my victim's terror as if it was my own. I was more than ready to try a different kind of life and I felt hopeful I could start a new one without killing.

Alice's vision of a peaceful future turned out to be more difficult than I imagined it would be. Mostly because the Cullens liked to pretend at being human. It brought them, and since I was a part of their family, me, in close proximity to humans testing the limits of my hunger for blood. Alice had little to no problems, she took to our new life style like a fish in water. Me, I had a bit more difficulty then that. Due to my empathic ability I not only had to struggle with my blood-lust, but that of my entire family, it left me as the weak link for the first time in my existence and I didn't particularly enjoy the feeling.

I did try though, for myself and for Alice. I loved her and I would have done anything for her. I thought she loved me too, but I was wrong. Alice and I had been together for decades and I thought I knew everything there was to know about my mate, but apparently we were not together long enough for her to mention that she wasn't my true mate. Must have slipped her fucking mind.

Our life was wonderful and I thought things couldn't go wrong until she just stood up one day and out of the fucking blue told me, "I have to go. I need to go find my true mate."

What the fuck?

She left without giving me any kind of explanation. Edward came down to tell me he had seen Alice's vision and it was about her mate. When I told him I was Alice's mate Edward just looked at me with a pitying expression on his face that made me want to throw him in a puddle of gasoline and light his ass on fire. He was quite helpful in explaining that Alice wasn't my true mate and that she had known but didn't think it important enough to inform me of that fact. I almost killed Edward for that one, especially when he said he had known all along but didn't think it was his business to interfere. He 'kindly' explained that as an empath I should have known Alice was hiding something, and recommended I work on trying to control my gift. I ripped his arm off and beat him with it and replied that since he was a mind-reader, he should have seen it coming and that it seemed I wasn't the only one that needed to hone his ability. I felt better after that.

So not feeding off of humans was to show Alice that I could control myself, and that I didn't need her in my life. That stupid bitch thought I'd fall of the wagon the second she left me, but I didn't. I showed her that I could do it without her fucked up visions. I could live with drinking blood that tasted like crap, especially if that meant proving Alice wrong.

After Alice left me, I left the family. Not for good, just as long as I needed to get over the fact that I had just wasted sixty fucking years of my life on that manipulating bitch. I still keep in touch with my family, especially Emmet.

Emmet had called a lot this past two years. Edward had some problems with a human and they had to leave the place where they were living. Emmet took it real hard because he got close to the girl and didn't want to leave her behind. I didn't understand the entire situation, but I did wonder how Rose felt about Emmet getting close to another woman, even if she was just a human. If I knew Rose, she gave her a hard time. Poor girl.

Thinking about Emmet and Rose made me feel homesick. At least enough to think about visiting them in the near future. But I would have to make sure that The-Evil-Bitch-That-Was-Rejected-From-Hell-Itself wouldn't be there. Otherwise I wouldn't set one foot in their home. To be honest I wasn't sure how long I could keep on resisting Esme's pleading phone calls to come home. It felt good to be missed. For now though, I had made other plans. I was going to Texas to visit my brother Peter. And knowing Peter, I had a feeling he was expecting me.

A/N: Thank yo for all your reviews, you guys are amazing. Again, I have no beta so if you see any mistakes, please feel free to tell me. I'd love to hear what you think. PM or review if you have any questions, okay.