[Drinking Games Always End In Disaster!]

It had been a whole 4 days since their last incident at the Orange Haiku Host Club and Kagura was still unsure what to make of her various interactions with Okita Sougo and the nature of their relationship. Recently, every time she tried to snack on some sukonbu, her mind would unwittingly wander to thoughts of him badgering her, being thrown at her, kissing her.

"UGH! Damn that stupid brat, ruining my ability to eat my favorite snack," Kagura thought. "He's messing up my mojo. I'm losing all the quirks that made me such a great heroine! First this stupid author forgets to include my accent after the first chapter and now I'm losing my trademark food?! I'm turning into a trainwreck." She continued musing to herself.

"Sure, all the laws of shoujo and television drama dictate that the person who steals a maiden's first kiss should take responsibility and marry her… BUT HAHA FUCK THAT, right?! I-I mean I've always been an unconventional heroine… Like I have the title of First-Shounen-Heroine-to-Puke-on-Screen! [1] And I've always been too poor to be stereotypically girly so an accidental first kiss isn't that groundbreaking… It's actually grossing me out how worried I am. This all has to be some crazy misunderstanding, Gintama's too weird to appropriately handle any real romance anyways."

Slowly building in confidence, Kagura ultimately convinced herself that it must have been her imagination thinking Sougo had a hidden agenda for her, and that Shinpachi was right - for once. It was probably just a coincidence that their paths constantly crossed and ended in disaster and she should just normally wait out this wave of Sougo-Syndrome god has thrown her way.

xxx

Meanwhile, Okita Sougo was polishing the blade of his katana on the porch of the Shinsengumi compound. He was calm, as usual, and not even remotely thrown off by his meeting with Kagura. Actually, it was easy for him to sort out his own feelings, as he's had a pretty good grasp of the situation for a while.

What Sougo felt for the Yato girl was not easy to describe, but it was very real and apparent. He was by no means "in love" with her or any bullshit like that. He couldn't even say that he "liked" her in the romantic sense of the word. After a bit of hard thought, Sougo determined that "interested" would be the best way to describe his feelings towards her. Kagura was certainly different from the other girls who came his way, not just physically - though Sougo would concede that the porcelain-skinned teen has matured rather… nicely - but by way of personality. Her brash and unapologetic behaviour was something that he could not find anywhere else. She was like a breath of fresh air, or a wild tiger in a swarm of butterflies; and Sougo, though a world-renowned sadist, always liked them with just a little moxy.

So he had decided that he would just let nature run its course. He would let his interest remain just that - an attraction. He wouldn't actively seek her out, or try and pursue her into a romantic relationship. That's just not the kind of guy he is. Like most everything in his life, he would approach their relationship with a front of indifference, and if the opportunity presented itself, he would indulge his interest in her - mostly by prodding and teasing to garner a reaction. And the "kiss" incident, though he'd be hesitant to call that a real kiss, was just another happenstance that piqued his interest. Kagura was on edge now and he found that amusing, so he would continue passively pursuing his new hobby to see just how far he could provoke her.

xxx

"Damn. DAMN IT ALL!" Gintoki yelled while pounding his calloused fists against his desk. "I.. I can't believe it. I can't believe this happened to me.. to us." He spun his chair around in a fit of grief and flung open the window behind him. The rain was unforgivable that day, blanketing the sky in a bitter gray and pouring down in heavy sheets. Gin stuck his head through and offered his hands up to the sky, pleading.

"Are you happy now, universe?!" He cried, his voice quivering mid-way through. Sometime in his desperation Gin began gripping the window frame with enough force to splinter the wood. He released the sill and snatched an envelope from his pocket, glancing down once more in hopes that their contents would change. No such luck. Flinging his body against the desk, the once feared Shiroyasha crumpled into a sorry pile right before the two people he wanted most to protect.

"Gi-Gin-san, what happened?!" Shinpachi inquired anxiously. He had just brought in the mail and now his boss was breaking down. "Is everyone okay? Did someone die?!"

"Worse, Shinpachi-kun. Much, much worse…" The Yorozuya leader's voice was weak and trailing. "I just don't know what to do. We're in so much trouble. I don't know how I can pull through this time."

Kagura cried anxiously, "Let me see the paper, Gin-chan, maybe I can help! I'll beat up whoever this 'Universe' person is that keeps harassing you!"

"NO! You can't! This is big. Bigger than you. Bigger than all of us. We have no choice; we have to lay low for now, got it? We'll be living a simple life, cut back on food costs, only flush once a week, that kind of stuff." Gin was pacing now, walking frantic steps between the two couches. "Yeah, this could work..."

The envelope fell from his pocket onto the floor, displaying the horror for the young Yorozuya members to see.

MONTHLY BILL: 6,000,724 Yen [2]

"NAAAANNNIII?! [3]" This time the desperate cries came from Shinpachi. "Why is this bill so high?! We barely scrape by with 6000 Yen! Wha - How?! This must be some kind of mistake, no one could spend that much money if they tri-" Shinpachi's face immediately blanched as his eyes made their way down the page.

TRANSACTION HISTORY:

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Friday, XX/XX:

-9 Strawberry parfaits

-42 Lottery tickets

-500 Pachinko balls

-26 Bottles of Dom Perignon

-Nurse-themed Massage Service

-1 Pair of boy's size XS underwear

-Hot, Hot, Hot Hentai Nights! Service

-Doki Doki Domination Night Service

-Oedo Emergency Center

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.

Both Shinpachi and Kagura tightened their lips and turned wordlessly back to their "esteemed" leader, only to find him struggling to put on his boots in a mad dash to leave.

"N-n-n-no, you see," Gintoki began, quivering in fear, "I c-can explain…" But Shinpachi and Kagura spared him no chance as they advanced, wide-toothed grins and straining eyes plastered on their faces. From that point on until the wee hours of morning, the only sounds that could be heard from the Yorozuya household were the crashing of furniture and the hellacious screams of a worthless man.

Notes:

[1] Yep, check out the Kagura's wiki page.

[2] 6,000,724 Y is roughly $50,000 USD and 6,000 Y is roughly $50 USD

[3] NAAAANNNIII?! = WHHHHAAATTT?!

A/N: This chapter is really short and doesn't advance the plot much at all, but I wanted to put something up to prove I'm still alive. Some of you can probably guess where this story is heading next though... But I might rewrite chapters 1/2 before then. Thanks to everyone who is following this, and a huge thank you to anyone who has reviewed it! Any and all feedback is greatly appreciated, homies :D