Rory's POV
I woke up in the ocean of clean white bedsheets. It was so quiet and peaceful you would never guess you're in the jungle of Las Vegas. Logan's body was laying next to mine, he was cold, in rare moments like these Logan didn't look so masculine and strong, he looked restful and without a worry in the world. His hair was a mess, I guess that was my fault.
I didn't know how last night was going to end up, but If you asked me that yesterday, the reality would be the last one on the list of possible endings. Sleeping with Logan, sharing intimacy with him was the most soul awakening, fear crushing experience I have ever had. Our bodies knew how to be with each other, we didn't. Our bodies knew what they wanted, how they wanted and they listened, we didn't. Logan turned around and I noticed his phone vibrate on the bedside table, I swear I wasn't looking, but her gorgeous face was all over the goddamn screen. She was a beautiful brunette with a bright Hollywood smile. Another woman, was waiting for him, patiently, in their home. I felt nauseous, but not because of my little baby, I felt sick of myself. Did another woman deserve this? To feel this way?
I jumped up at the realisation that Logan, my Logan would be awake in a couple of minutes and will be heading home, to his fiancé to marry her… TO MARRY HER. Panic rushed all over my body and I started grabbing all of my things from the floor, I had quite the layers going on last night. Two buttons of my vest were missing, I can thank Logan for that. I was in my pants and bra when I felt two warm hands warp around me from behind, I quickly turned around to see a half naked Logan standing in front of me. I didn't even notice him from all of the panic.
„Ace, let me get some food into your system, you must be starving." He gave me his most loving look he possibly could, moving a strand of my hair behind my head. I looked down, on the edge of another meltdown and I shook my head. I was sad that this moment with him had an expiration date, that we couldn't share this forever, this idyllic, almost utopian life. He asked me what was wrong. The worst part of all of it is that none of it felt wrong. Nothing with Logan could ever feel wrong, we knew it was wrong, every social rule told us it was wrong, but being with him, how could a love like this ever be wrong?
He brushed his hand against my cheek, his hand was so warm compared to his body in the morning, he pulled me closer to him and I had to pull away, someone had to be the voice of reason. „Logan, what's the point? Of all of this? You would never leave her!" I yelled out, pointing at his phone, which, ironically enough showed her as the caller ID, calling him once again. „Just say the word Ace." He stated. „What good would that do?" I asked, confused. „All I ever wanted from you was to say it, to say that you're mine and that you wanna be mine, but all you ever do is run away from me!" His voice got angrier. „I am not your toy Rory!" He said, stepping away from me. This hurt, this hurt me bad, not because of his tone but because of how right he was. I never chose him, over anything, and now, I wasn't choosing the best for my baby, I was choosing what was the most comfortable for me.
Being raised by a single parent was the only way I knew anything about, having to share a baby with Logan, having the thought of him participating on this journey scared me. I knew nothing about mutual decisions, living with someone, taking care of another. I knew nothing about anything that was good for my baby and that was frightening. All of it rushed through my body and I felt my hand shaking as it reached to my face. „Logan, I'm pregnant." I cried out and waited for a reaction. He froze, not a single word left his mouth and I was just about to check if he was breathing as he asked „Is it mine?" After I nodded he walked up to me, placed his hands on my belly and got down on his knees, placing his head on my stomach. For the first time, ever, I felt Logans tears on my belly, he held me on the side and eventually hugged me, I placed my hands on his head. I have never felt such intimacy with anyone, he was so fragile. Behind all of his toughness and strong facade, he was a warm person, with all of the emotions.
„My baby" He whispered. After a minute of silence between us he stood up with the most genuine and honest smile I have ever seen. He looked like the boy I have met in Yale. He was happy, I could feel that. „How far are you?" He asked „15 weeks." I answered, now holding my growing stomach myself. He started pacing around the room, running his hands through his hair, excited as ever. „I need to move, I will put you as my right hand in the firm, we will buy a family house, I will get a puppy, I have to get a family jeep, I'm calling my dealer, I need that jeep." He was speaking so fast, grabbing his phone.
„Logan, no." I said quietly at first, repeating it again louder as he didn't listen to me. „Logan, I'm raising it on my own." I stated, completely sure in myself, he was confused. „What do you mean? I'm right here Rory." He said, almost pleaded. „Please don't do this to me." He begged, walking up to me, taking my hands. „Logan, you cannot leave Odette for me." I tried explaining my points to him, but he didn't seem to listen to me. „Ace, who cares about anything else, we're having a baby." His enthusiastic and optimistic voice got me irritated. „You have a life, besides me!" I said, stepping back. „Up until now, you were going to marry that woman and not once did you consider me and how I would feel about that!" I continued, devastated by my own words. „And now, suddenly, conveniently as I'm carrying your child, you want a family with me?" I looked at him offended and bitter. „I wanted a family with you 15 years ago Rory!" He yelled out, frustrated and mad.
If he wanted this life with me, he could have fought for me. Nobody can force anyone to marry someone he doesn't care for, he always had the option to go for me, but he never did. Not until now, now he is suddenly wanting me? I was angry, angry because I felt played, tricked and fooled but mostly of all, angry because a part of me could never hate him, and that was the worst thing of all.
He was speechless, he looked around the room, searching for things to argue with. I whipped my tears away from my cheek and put my blouse on me, turning around to leave this room that was so peaceful and calm an hour ago. He grabbed my hand and tried stopping me from leaving, but I pulled my hand away. „Rory please stay, let us talk about this." He begged me. „Congratulations to the groom and best wishes to the bride." I said enraged, I rushed outside and slammed the door behind me. I could hear his voice call after me, but I started to run outside. The air here was choking me and I knew I needed to run outside.
I walked outside and grabbed the first cab I could see, he drove me straight to the airport, where I luckily had the chance to change my flight. One message from Logan followed the other one and it was slightly frustrating to see this.
The annoying couples from movies that were perfect for each other but for some stupid reason
weren't together were always so stupid and here I am, being the most stupid of all. I felt so many emotions at once, all of it gave me a headache. I was intrigued as I saw an unknown British number calling me. I picked it up and heard a female voice, with a strong accent.
"Am I speaking to Rory Gilmore?"
She really called me, that woman has called me and arranged a meeting with me. What in the world was she thinking? I was shocked to hear her French accent through the speaker. She sounded very official, not giving away much of what this was really about. She only told me she was flying to New York tomorrow and the address where I should meet her.
I lost count of how many missed phone calls I have missed from Logan. I didn't even read his texts, even Finn and Collin tried contacting me. I couldn't speak to any of them right now. As soon as I arrived home I went straight to Jess, he opened the doors of his apartment to me and I rushed into his arms, hiding myself from the world in his hug. He didn't dare asking any questions, the poor guy was terrified by my look of utter desperation and need for some peace. He stroke my hair slowly and took me inside.
I spent the rest of the day on his couch, he cuddled me up with blankets and gave me warm coffee and ordered all of my favorites. After setting everything up for me he sat on the coffee table in front of me and gave me a serious look. „What is going on with you Rory?" He asked me, slightly concerned but also irritated by me. I shook my head, the last thing I wanted to do now was to talk about this. He understood, thank God he understood. Jess nodded and stood up to grab his remote, he sat on the other half of his big grey couch and we watched „Full House", the most comforting series of all time.
„Rory, you know I will be there for the two of you." He said after a while, his voice warm and calming, he placed his hand on my leg and rubbed it lightly, pulling the blanket so it covered my feet completely. I took a good look at him, his stare was reassuring, removing any doubt and fear that I had having this baby. I nodded and continued watching the movie. Soon after I fell asleep and at the time, Jess was typing his newest book on his laptop.
The next morning I woke up to the smell of fresh coffee and a note saying „I had to run to a meeting, there is food in the fridge, please eat. J" I smiled at the little sticky note on the mug. I stood up and made my way home where I showered and changed for my lunch date with Odette.
I got there 10 minutes earlier and I already saw her, I didn't want to make it seem as if I knew who she was or what she looked like. I wanted to walk pass her, straight into the restaurant, but she called out „Miss Gilmore?" With the most obnoxious accent known to men. I turned around and gave her a warm smile. „I'm Odette Chateau, shall we?" She offered me a hand shake, a weak and sloppy one, like I'm holding a fishtail. She lead the way, giving me plenty opportunities to roll my eyes without her noticing. We sat down at a table for two.
Sitting across from her gave me a chance to take a good look at her. My goodness, what were the french eating to make their skin this healthy and glowing. „I want to get right to it." She started, right after we ordered out drinks. She pulled something out of her Chanel bag. She started writing on it and handed it to me. A one million dollars check. I took a good look at it, and completely confused I looked at her, her voice was completely firm and steady. „I know you are pregnant Rory." She looked down, she was a very graceful person. How did she find out? I wasn't showing as much„But you must understand, Logan is everything to me." Was she trying to buy me off? „What is this about?" I waved the check. „You must understand Rory, he is all that I have left." She kept on rambling. „You have your journalist job, I heard you're a writer, you have a baby on the way, all that I have is him." She quickly removed that one tear away.
„I'm not taking your money." I said, angrily. „Please take it, just take the money and let me have him, I'm not stupid, I can very well see the power you have over him." She said and our drinks arrived. „He loves you Rory and I love him, please understand." I took a deep breath and answered her „It was never my attention to cause any trouble between you two." She quickly interrupted me „I know you didn't do that to hurt me, you don't even know what you do just by calling him late at night, yes, I don't sleep like a bear" She let out a little giggle, her teeth were incredibly white, I have seen several aspects of her that Logan could like, and we have just spent 20 minutes together. „Take the money Rory, I do believe you need the money with the baby on the way." I slided her the check back „I don't need it." I said but before she could interrupt me I continued „I will stay away." I promised, to which she smiled and nodded. Soon she stood up „I'm sure it is the best for the both of us if we don't see each other again. Thank you for your time Rory." You could tell how happy and satisfied she was with the outcome of our conversation. I nodded and quickly, she was out of the restaurant.
I knew Jess worked in the neighbourhood so I called him up to see If he had the time to meet me there. He was sitting next to me and we ordered food. He talked about his newest book proposal and I pretended to listen. Truth to be told I was much more interested in what made Odette come all this way to try to buy me away from Logan, I ran away from him, he never told her about me before, what changed?
I saw him calling again, and this time I have decided to take his call. I stood up, told Jess I will only take a minute, he nodded and continued with his meal. I answered my phone as soon as I was outside. He sounded incredibly surprised to hear my voice, I instantly noticed that he has been drinking. „Ace, finally." He let out a deep, long breath. I wanted to make this as quick as possible. „Please Logan, hear me out." He then kept on begging me for some time to speak but I continued „I don't want you to to call me again." I felt his shock since he was very quiet „Rory, please don't do this, please." My whole body started to shake, I felt tears come down my cheeks, I quickly removed them and continued „Logan, don't call me again." He begged to jump in and speak but I didn't let him.
„If you love me, you will let me be, I'm in love with someone else." I said and the line went completely silent, I hung up on him and put my phone away. Never have my own words hurt me this way, but I knew, this was the only right thing to do for everyone. My hands felt cold and shaky. I wasn't actually allowed to feel this way, all of it was my decision, but, nevertheless, it sting like an open wound.
Don't tell me I was unfair to him, I knew that. I knew he only wanted to be the father that he never had and that wasn't a crime, but he deserved a decent life, away from me and everything that choosing me brings. He really was the guy I just couldn't quiet, but this was a good shot at straightening things up.
I calmed myself down for a minute and returned back to Jess, faking a big smile for him. „So, what are we having for desert?"
Logan's POV
It has been a whole week of constant messaging and trying to reach out for her. How can one single person be this stubborn? Rory should be studied. No, I should be studied for not being able to see when it's time to let go. But I couldn't. She was carrying my baby and the last thing I was going to let happen is this kid growing up without a father or anything else this baby will need. I will protect it with my life. But first, I need to protect myself from my mother, as he was on her absolute edge because of this wedding, making me learn the vows she has written for me by heart, practicing the first dance… with her.
It was the day of the big wedding and the Huntzbergers have spared no expense in making this the event of the century. The wedding is taking place in my hometown of Hartford. Everything was prepared and ready for showtime. The band was already playing and everyone was gathering downstairs, having their first drinks. I was upstairs getting ready with Finn, my best man.
He was awfully silent, this wasn't like him at all, especially at unbearable events like this one. He was texting someone while I was fixing up my tie. „Finn, what's up with you?" I asked him and got a strange reaction which made me even more confused. „You tell me." He looked up at me and continued „You have been miserable ever since you spend the night with Rory." How did he- „Oh don't be an idiot, who do you think told her we were in Las Vegas?" I swear I have never seen Finn this annoyed with me.
„Oh well yeah, lemme see, you are this stupid, I though spending that night with Rory would finally make you see how ridiculous this wedding is, but here we are, like clowns in a circus show and your mother is the master of the ceremony." He let out a bothered and clearly annoyed, forced laugh out.
„It isn't that easy Finn." I said, running my fingers through my hair, slightly starting to nervously pace back and forth, unsure of what to tell him to calm him down. Finn was rarely this serious about anything, one would think sex and alcohol were the only two things on his mind, but he would have never been this successful if he wasn't highly intelligent, but, If I may be completely honest, you didn't have to be very wise to see that things between Rory and me, weren't at a friendly-ex-lovers-who-secretly-hate-each-other base.
„Enlighten me then, Huntzberger. What is a reasonable explanation for two people who clearly love each other to be complete morons and walk away from each other for the thousandth time?" He was getting angry, wow, he really did care about me, he was truly like a brother to me and I was lying to him like this? What kind of a person have I become?
„She's pregnant Finn." That made him completely silent, he looked me questionably, looking for any sign that this could be some sort of a sick joke. To be honest, It was strange enough for me to say it out loud myself. Not a bad strange, but a… different strange, especially given the circumstances we were both in. Me for instance, marrying a woman I didn't care about or her being alone at times where I needed to be there for her.
„You really have the brain of a chicken Huntzberger, what the fuck are you doing here?" He asked, his eyes wide open, filling up with anger. „Rory is pregnant, probably puking her liver out and you are here celebrating a love that doesn't exist?" He laughed out, annoyed and frustrated by me.
In that moment the door knocked and Honor was walking inside, seeing the two of us in a heated argument when we should be fully ready, about to go downstairs and greet everyone with the biggest Hollywood smile known to men. „And what are you two still doing here?" She asked, crossing her arms, taking turns giving death stares to the two of us. „Logan is being a wimp." Finn said, probably lost for a more mature insult, he has presented me with all of his good ones already. Honor looked as confused as ever. „He has a pregnant girl waiting for him, too selfless to probably ask for it, but still… sitting alone and-" „Odette is pregnant?" Honors eyes lit up, the picture of her finally becoming an aunt filled her eyes with joy.
„No, Rory is pregnant." I said, looking down, ashamed because everything Finn was saying was the truth. I felt discussed by myself. The whole time I was making up excuses as to why she wasn't answering her calls or why she kept pushing me away when instead I should be there, I should just be there, standing in front of her door waiting for the time she needed me. Surprisingly enough, Honor didn't seem as surprised. „I know, I have seen her at the doctors with her husband, a black haired guy, kinda really masculine." I looked at her confused, remembering the dirty, trash looking dude from years ago, what was he doing with my Rory and MY BABY at the doctors?
I snapped, jealousy took over my whole body and I angrily grabbed my jacket. „Finn, I'm getting out through the back door." I swear, I could HEAR him smile behind me. Honor was confused, she was asking all of these questions „But what am I going to tell everyone?" She yelled at me, following me. „Tell 'em to fuck themselves Honor!" I yelled back, not looking back but rushing down to the backdoor, hoping I would make it unnoticed.
Rory, my Rory, didn't feel like I wanted her, a life with her, so she was relying on Jess? This isn't the way things are going to be. It was supposed to be me and her, forever. I kept coming up with more things that I needed to tell her on my way downstairs, trying to avoid anyone who would want to keep me. „Logan!" I heard a scream from behind, just as I was about to reach the doorknob. I turned around. „Odette I'm sorry, you have to understand." I looked at her, she was wearing her white wedding dress, I saw Finn rushing after her, probably trying to stop her, but once he saw that she caught up with me, I nodded and he walked back, making sure no one else came rushing after us.
„Logan you promised me!" She started to shake, as she walked towards me I saw the way she looked at me. Disappointment, rage and regret. „You promised me you would keep her out of our relationship." She said and started crying. The worst thing of all was that I knew that she wasn't only sad because a business deal between our families would fall apart, but because she really did care about me.
I hate that this world we live in, the world where power rules, gets people to a breaking point like this one. It makes someone chose between obligations and what was right, what felt right. Rory was the only thing in my life that ever felt right but also the only thing that I couldn't squeeze into this life, and quite frankly I didn't want to. She was the one pure thing in my life, the one thing that was truly mine and truly honest. No business deals, arrangements or obligations. How could I lose something that made me feel true emotions, pure, honest feelings?
„I'm really sorry Odette, she means everything to me." I said, she didn't move another inch. She stayed there and tears were coming down her cheeks. I would lie if I told you I didn't feel horrible for making someone feel this way. Odette wasn't the villain in this story, she was a victim, a victim of this sick world we were both pushed in at birth. I wish she could find what I have found in Rory. Salvation but adventure, peace in moments of rage and emotions on top of a lonely heart.
I turned around and walked out of the house, I threw my stuff at the passengers seat and jumped into my Porsche, driving away from here, making my way to her, feeling that after a long time that things will be okay, feeling that there is a possibility that maybe, just maybe, I would be deserving of something real, something… not arranged, but mine, all mine and true.