I'm sorry it took so long for this update, I had a bit of a hard time deciding how much to reveal and which scenes I wanted to show. I contemplated splitting this into 2 separate chapters but it felt like it was taking too long to move the story forward, especially after the last chapter felt more like a 'filler'. Anyway, thank you again for the reviews! Read on!
"No, no, no. I'm fine, I don't want it." Elizabeth McCord repeated again, backing away from the nurse in front of her, shaking her head as she went. She didn't want to be looked at, she didn't want to be examined, she didn't want to be poked and prodded, answer questions or speak to anyone else. She knew she needed help, the stinging cut on her back had dulled and her head still throbbed but not here; Not in this bunker with frantic people rushing around, not while her skin still crawled with the ghosts of hands she had been unable to stop, not while the floor, roof and bare walls of this tiny room still shook as bombs fell overhead, not while her detail watched precariously, all nerves on a hair trigger. She wondered how many of them knew, had the one who found her told the others? How many people standing in this small space knew what had happened? Not even she herself knew exactly what had transpired, bits and pieces flashed through her mind the more she thought about it but it was all a blur, she was trying to block it out. None of it made sense, if it wasn't for the stabbing pains she felt every time she moved, every time she breathed, she herself would have believed it to have been a terribly vivid dream. She turned and walked away again, trying her best not to convey the discomfort through her face, she bumped a table in her haze where a woman worked feverishly, she doubted she even noticed. Elizabeth continued to clutch at the blanket as she sat herself in the corner again, recoiling out of the way as more and more people buzzed around her. She wanted nothing more than to leave this place. They had descended a set of stairs to this underground chamber which opened to a frenzy of activity, the smell of damp earth hung in the air, putrid and mouldy, it felt like a concrete tomb. The steady hum of generators made it difficult to think as they powered the fluorescent lights above, it was claustrophobic, in combination with the cracked ribs she was sure she had sustain and her rising anxiety levels from being stuck where they were, it made it difficult to breathe. Her rational mind told her they were working on it, that they couldn't just up and leave from their only shelter, but the other half of her brain wanted to shed out of her own damaged and contaminated skin and run; run from here, run from people, run from the memories attempting to break through her mind, run back to her family, run back to Henry.
Elizabeth had done her job, with the thought of going home the only thing keeping her from breaking down, she had gathered herself together, suppressing her own emotions and suffering just enough to speak with President Shiraz who had come to find her. He had remained unharmed during the attack which seemed a small victory in comparison to the massive assault sustained across the region and those that had perished during the ensuing fire fight, but in all, it meant that the coup had failed. Although that wasn't the job she was dispatched to perform, it could have been so much worse had she not travelled to Iran to defuse the scheme old friends had planned and initiated. It was beyond her comprehension that Andrew and Juliet had been wrapped up at the centre of this terrible plan, it still pained her terribly to know what they had done to George and Secretary Marsh to achieve their twisted end goal. She knew they were both more than capable but they were now something akin to terrorists in their finest form.
Her own security had informed her they had managed to get a short message to the White House and they were waiting for a helicopter escort back to the airbase which should reach them within the hour. She was just waiting for the call, she would lead the charge back to her plane as soon as they received the green light. She could have sworn they were all staring at her. Her skin prickled with a thousand piercing eyes, but every time she looked up they had all averted their gaze. She couldn't stand it and was feeling more and more out of control with every passing minute, as if this mask she was trying desperately to maintain would falter. She tried not to look at any of them, distracting herself counting threads on the blanket, getting to 100 and starting again. The monotony kept her breathing even and her mind focused on what was right in front of her. She wasn't sure how long it had been, or how many times over she'd counted to 100, it wasn't until someone stepped into her peripheral vision did she finally look up from the blanket. A younger man with a grimy face in a dirty suit stepped forward timidly.
"They're here." He motioned to the door. They were all the words she needed, she jumped out of her seat with such haste it startled the young guard, clearly not expecting her to move so abruptly after he'd watched her sit so still for nearly an hour. The rest of her detail scrambled after her as she reached the stairs before them all, desperate to get out of there, desperate to get home.
The front door opened and then clicked shut, the silence ringing through the house was deafening. A phone call early that morning had left Henry completely distraught. Nadine had finally called back to confirm the Secretary was in the air, but more disturbing details had followed that would need immediate attention the moment Elizabeth arrived home. They had haunted Henry all day as waves of anger and complete devastation washed over him again and again, helpless to his soulmates plight. He had paced all day, checking his phone at regular intervals in case he missed something even though it had not left his hands. Elizabeth could not feel her legs as she stepped into the hall; Her arms heavy, exhausted, she wanted to sink into the floor and disappear. Her hair was dull and pulled back, dark circles surrounded her eyes and she felt hellish. She had suppressed every thought, every image, every scenario that had tried to materialise on the plane journey home. One of her detail had finally told her, after much persuasion and in great distress, how her extraction from the house had eventuated. After piecing it together with what she could remember herself, it took every ounce of strength left in her not to be sick in front of him. She then excused herself, finally escaping to the privacy of her quarters and emptying the non-existent contents of her stomach in the bathroom. It was then she had allowed herself to let go of the blanket and change her clothes. She didn't look in the mirror, she didn't look at herself as she moved slowly around the room, she was still covered in dried blood and filth, some of which she knew and was trying not to think about, wasn't hers.
Then, at long last, she saw him. Henry had been waiting in their office, his face contorted with anguish as he turned to look at her, he covered the ground with a defeated stride. She didn't know what to do, didn't know what to say, she was just so glad to be home that every thought and emotion she had suppressed from the last 18hrs finally overwhelmed her at the sight of him, her facade shattered and she collapsed into Henry's open arms. He wrapped his arms around her sobbing frame and just held her, the only thing stopping her from ending up on the floor. She clutched at his chest with shaking hands, a flood of tears soaking his shirt, great wracking breaths consumed her as she sobbed uncontrollably in the middle of the entrance hall. He was glad none of the children were home to see this, all he had said was Elizabeth was fine and was coming home, that was all they needed to know until he had seen her for himself. He had scheduled an urgent doctors appointment for her, Nadine told him she had blatantly refused any form of treatment which he was surprised to hear at the time but understanding dawned on him while she stood there in his arms.
He waited patiently for her body to still and go quiet, whispering to her, rubbing a comforting hand down her back, trying gravely to keep himself calm, to not completely lose it at the sight of her. He had never seen her like this before; Of course she had cried, clung to him in times of great despair throughout the course of their many years together but this time there was something missing and it frightened the hell out of him. He wasn't sure whether it was the strength she possessed or the warmth she usually projected but the sparkle in her eye was gone. With a hand on either shoulder, he pushed her out so he could look at her, she held such sadness in her eyes, it broke him to see it etched into every inch of her tearstained face and deep into her very soul. Henry was beside himself to see her like this, she was so broken and he was desperate to put her back together. Swallowing the lump that had formed in his throat, he gave her arms a gentle rub and spoke as softly as he could.
"Baby, there's somewhere we need to go ok? You need to be checked over by a doctor, I made an appointment, I'll come with you." He finished, unsure what else to say, she dropped her gaze to stare at her hands still tangled in his shirt. She knew he was right but she couldn't face it on her own, being violated again as she was forced to reveal the memories consuming her mind when all she wanted to do was crawl into a hole and never come out. She nodded, reluctantly, the promise of Henry going with her was the only thing keeping her standing.
"I… I need to shower first." She croaked, still not meeting his eyes. He was somewhat taken aback with her response but nodded and took her hands in his, prying her fingers from his shirt and began to lead her to the foot of the stairs.
They ascended the staircase to their bedroom, hand in hand, Henry trying to prepare himself for what he was about to see. Elizabeth wanted to do it on her own, she wasn't ready to let Henry see her tarnished body but he would eventually see something when she was being examined and rathered him see her first in the privacy of their ensuite rather than the doctors exam room. He led her into the centre of their room and closed the door behind her, anxious fear crept through her at the thought of the one man she had devoted half her life to, seeing what had become of her. She had been ruined, not only for herself but for him. He turned back to see her staring at the floor beginning to shake, he stepped forward, arms outstretched, trying to comfort his wife but she startled, flying backwards into the night stand. A moment later she realised what she had done, she buried her face in her hands as fresh tears blurred her vision.
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" She sobbed. Henry lowered his hands, heartbroken, a lump forming in his throat, not only to see her like this but to comprehend what he had done to her. Working in the military and being a college professor, he knew enough about sexual assault victims to understand how difficult and complex this grieving process was and would be. He shook himself and regaining his composure, took a step toward her, taking measure of his pace and took her hands again, gently pulling them away from her face.
"It's ok. We can work through this." He replied with as much strength as he could muster. "Let's get you in the shower." He finished, leading her on through the wardrobe and closing the door behind them.
She stood frozen with her back to the door, terrified of what she was about to do. She too was yet to see everything that was hidden under her clothes, her mind racing with images she now couldn't control. Henry squeezed her hand, bringing her back to the room, she blinked away more tears, took a deep breath and looked up to Henry for support. His eyes were full of such warmth and comfort, it eased her nerves to see such strength in the man she loved so dearly. He slowly moved his hands to her shoulders and slid the coat down her arms, tossing it over the bathtub. Gradually, he moved to the hem of her shirt, pulling it upward, encouraging her to raise her arms. She winched with the motion and tried to hide it but it hadn't gone unnoticed by Henry. He pulled it up over her head and deposited it on the floor. Her arms, now free from her shirt moved automatically across her body showing the discoloration of her wrists and the long cut down her forearm. There was a bloody smudge down her side almost not visible for the large purple bruise covering her ribs and waist, some of which was still hidden under her bra. She felt ashamed as Henry gawked at her, shifting her elbow in an attempt to obstruct his view. He tore his eyes away and tried to give her a comforting smile but it didn't reach his eyes. He turned away to run the hot water, trying to stop himself staring at the bruises that pained him to think about how they must have got there and how she must have suffered. He heard the shuffling of fabric as Elizabeth hesitantly removed her pants, depositing them in the pile of clothes she wanted to burn. She still couldn't bring herself to look in the mirror above the vanity, she hated her own skin, this body she had lived in her whole life, she didn't want anymore. After checking the temperature of the water he turned around to find her struggling to undo her bra. He stepped around her and had to stifle the sound that erupted from his throat as he got a clear view of her back. Cuts and abrasions covered most of her shoulder blades, the large gash had bled everywhere smearing blood in every direction making it appear much larger than it already was. The bruising on her side also continued around so her back was an array of angry red and purple patches across her ghostly white skin. He unclasped the strap, letting her take it off when she was ready and waited as she shuffled and stepped out of her underwear, folding her arms against her chest. She finally caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror, she looked so ghostly and fragile in the rising steam, she didn't recognise herself. Tears forming again at the sight of her own foreign body, she choked down the lump before whispering over her shoulder,
"Can you please leave?" It agonised her to say but she needed to scrub away this defiled feeling on her own. Henry paused, opening his mouth to say something, wondering if it was the right thing to leave her now in this delicate state. Elizabeth was fighting the tears, it was only when she heard the door close behind Henry did she step under the cascading shower letting it scorch her skin, allowing those tears to fall as she wept silently.