A/N: Let me thank you all again for the wonderful reviews. I haven't even started on the fifth chapter because I hardly had time to write this weekend. But I decided to give you chapter four. Just no promises when chapter five will be here. And yes still not a very long chapter .Can't help it, it's just the way it goes. It seemed a good way to end this chapter. I hope you all like this because this was a tricky chapter. Bobby talking about his mother. I didn't want it to be tooo emotional, yet it had to be emotional to show how this was influencing him. So I hope I found a middle way there. Reviews are very much appreciated!!!

Chapter four

He knew he had to answer her. He just needed time to find the right words. Words that wouldn't make him loose control. Because when he talked about her, in the condition she was in now, he was afraid he'd loose control. He hated losing control. "She's… very sick, Eames. I… she's a fighter, but she's not strong enough to fight… this." When his emotions were so close to the surface, he always started to stumble over his words. Angrily he ran a hand through his hair. "There's nothing I can do for her. It's out of my control and…"

"You need to be in control." Alex squeezed his hand. She saw his struggle, but was glad that he was letting her in.

"Yeah." It came out like a sigh.

"I've taken care of her for so long. I tried so hard to do the right thing. To make sure she was taken care of. And now…, no matter what I do, no matter how hard I try, there's nothing I can do." He let go of her hand and stood up. He started his familiar pacing.

"I feel like I'm failing her. I'm all she has and there's nothing I can do." He turned around, facing her. His arms spread, his hair mussed and his eyes…, they showed his despair. "I'm watching my mother die!" And softer. "I'm watching her die."

Her heart went out to him. He was standing there unlike the strong, confident detective he was. Despite his length, he now seemed like a small, lost little boy who needed someone to bring him back. She knew he didn't want pity. He wanted comfort. He needed to know someone was there.

"I'm losing the one person I had left." He was back to pacing again. "She always believed in me. Always told me to keep believing in myself." His anger seemed to be back again. His voice raised. "Why? She's been through so much already. Why can't she just have a little peace?! Why is this happening to her?!" In his anger he kicked a chair to he ground.

She needed to calm him down. If she didn't, his anger would get the best of him and then she didn't know how his apartment would end up. "Bobby." She said his name, but didn't get any reaction from him. She got up, closing the distance between them. "Bobby." She tried again, this time louder. Carefully she touched his arm, not wanting to scare him.

Bobby's eyes were on the hand she had on his arm, before they focused on her eyes. The anger was still there. "Don't…, I don't want your pity."

"It's not pity. You know it's not." She saw he was about to object. "No, Bobby. Look at me. You know it's not pity." She saw her words reached him when the anger in his eyes vanished, replaced by pain again.

"I'm losing her."

She was unsure if a hug was something he wanted or needed. Bobby, however seemed to make the decision for her. He roughly wrapped his arms around her. "I can't loose you too, Alex." He whispered into her shoulder.

His embrace was so tight. As if she was being crushed into him. But she didn't mind. He needed her and she was going to be there. "I'm not going anywhere." She whispered against his chest. She felt his arms tighten around her even more…, if that was possible.

That's when he admitted something else. "I'm scared, Alex. I'm scared of losing her, scared of being alone… scared of what's coming." And his biggest fear of all. "I'm scared of… losing myself."

Alex pulled back and cupped his rough jaw in her hands. The unshed tears in his eyes made her own tears appear. "You won't loose yourself. I won't let you." Her voice was clear, making sure he wouldn't hear any doubt in her voice. She softly stroked his jaw with her thumb. "It's okay to be scared." She wiped away a lone tear that ran down his cheek. "If you fall, Bobby, I'll catch you."

He cherished this petite woman in his life. She was his anchor, the one who held the most of the storm at bay. And the fact that after all he'd done to her, how he had failed her, she was still there. How was he ever going to repay her? Nothing he could do, would ever be enough. Nothing could ever show his gratitude. Somehow, someway he was going to show her just how important, if not the most important element she was in his life. She held him together. She kept him going.

"Thank you." He drew her into his arms again and placed a soft kiss on her forehead.

Alex responded by placing a kiss on his shirt clad chest. A few minutes later she ended their embrace. She knew they needed a break. It couldn't be said all at once. "How about we eat something? Why don't you go shower. I'll start breakfast. When you're back I'll shower and you can finish breakfast. Okay?"

"Yeah." Turning around he walked to his bedroom. Not before turning looking back one more time and watch Alex walk into his kitchen, wearing his black NYPD shirt. He hoped, this wouldn't be the last time.

TBC...