Summary: There is nothing more that scares Noatak more than women.
Genre: Humor
Rating: K
Author's Note: Some pure humor to balance out the darkness from Secrets. This was a bit rushed, I know.

Women

Nikka

There is a soft tap at the door. The old woman just calls out, "Who is it?"

"It's Korra Ms. Nikka."

Korra? Nikka had not seen the girl since she took off for Republic City. Last she had heard, the girl's bending had been taken away. But she sounds anything but sad.

"Come in dear."

There's multiple steps heard which leads Nikka to believe Korra brought a guest with her. But Korra tells the guest to stay in the living room. After a few seconds, a glowing Korra comes around the corner and sits down at the table in front of Nikka.

"So the rumors are false, your bending wasn't taken away."

Korra gives a nervous laugh and glances at the living room.

"It was. But I got it back. I finally connected with Avatar Aang."

Nikka smiles. "That's good to hear. Don't be rude child, invite your guest to some tea."

A nervous smile. "Actually, he's the reason I'm here. Uh…well…the thing is…uhm…you see."

"Spit it out Korra."

"Just brace yourself Nikka. I don't want you getting a heart attack."

Nikka laughs. "I may be pushing seventy, but I'm not that old yet."

With a nod, Korra gets up. There's a short whispered fight before the two round the corner. With Korra stands a man who isn't any more than forty years old. Sharp features. Definitely water tribe. The face is familiar to Nikka, but she can't place it.

"And who might you be, young man?"

He cringes at the name, remembering when his mother would say that when he was in trouble.

"It's me mother. Noatak."

Nikka's eyes widen in surprise. She stands and walks over to Noatak and begins to circle him. She looks him up and down and comes to stand in front of him. Nikka stretches out her hand to grabNoatak's face and bring it down to eye-level. She glares at him.

Her hand suddenly moves to hit the side of his head.

"How dare you just show up like this? It's been nearly thirty years! Couldn't even stop by to say hello? I thought I raised you better."

Noatak's eyes begin to water and Korra doesn't know if it's from happiness, pain, or because he's frightened. Nikka is becoming very loud and scary.

"Don't you think your brother told me everything once your father died? But no. What have you been doing this whole time?"

Korra decides to just leave them alone.

Pema

The is staring at him again. The green eyed boy has abandoned his toys in the corner and has spent the last five minutes starring at him while making incoherent babbles. At only eight months old, he will only sit there. At 38 years old,Noatakwill do the same.

"Noh-tak!"

Noatakglares at the child from his chair. Why would Korra leave him alone with this…thing? Probably for laughs. He is tempted to call for her, or for the boys mother.

"Noh-tak!"

This time, Rohan has the same pout that he has seen on Ikki's face. Rohan's lip starts to tremble. Noatak's eyes widen in despair. What should I do? What do you do with babies? Can they break?

The child begins to squeeze tears out of his eyes (because Noatak is sure this child is doing this on purpose) and begins turning an unhealthy shade of red. With a huff,Noatak walks over and hovers above Rohan with his hands behind his back.

"What is it that you want, little one?"

Little Rohan thrust his fists into the air while opening and closing them. "Noh-tak!" Noatak looks around in desperation. Someone has to show up.Rohan begins to whimper and Noatak has no choice but to pick the child u from the ground. He sits Rohan awkwardly on his hip. But the boy is non the wiser.

He grabs at Noatak's hair and pulls it in the most painful of ways. But Noataks tands there and lets the child do as he pleases. The fur on Noatak's shoulders begins to tickle Rohan's nose and Noatak realizes he's about to sneeze.

He easily turns the child around so that none of the his snot will get on him. What Noatak forgot was that Rohan is an air-bender. So as Rohan gave a mighty sneeze, he flies out of Noatak's arms and into the air. He begins to fall and Noatak has to throw himself on the ground to be able to catch him properly.

Rohan starts giggling and Noatak assumes he is fine. He stands up carefully only to find a furious Pema at the doorway.

Korra

It's the middle of summer.

It's incredibly hot.

Traffic is jammed.

The only available healer in the city is stuck in said traffic.

The air conditioning broke a few hours ago.

Korra is currently in labor in her bedroom.

Noatak wonders if this is his punishment for leading such a destructive revolution a few years ago. All he knows is that you need hot water for some reason. But the water he boiled has now cooled and all he can do is sit behind Korra as she rides out the contractions.

She keeps screaming at him about how this is all his fault and sex is never going to happen. He can barely register any of it because he is sure that she has broken all his fingers and probably shattered his ribs when she punched him.

"Screw the healer, get Pema!"

"Pema is in the South Pole with Tenzin."

It takes everything in him to keep calm. He wishes Pema were here.

Korra, struck by another contraction, digs into Noatak's exposed knees with her nails. He regrets putting on shorts. When he starts to bleed, he tries to gently pry her hand away from his wounds.

"Korra, you're hurting me."

Noatak will never be able to recall what happened between uttering those words and the second his first child cried. His mind has blocked the memory because it was too traumatic.