PLEASE READ THE THIRD CHAPTER IF YOU HAVE NOT GOT AN UPDATE/EMAIL SAYING THAT I HAD UPDATED THE THE THIRD CHAPTER. I replaced the authors message with the third installment. SO READ IT NAO. It's an important chapter.

Banana Pyjamas, Irony and Video Games

- Chapter 4 -

"I'm with stupid."

So, I told Mum.

I told Mum that the girl I like hates my guts now because I tried to be honest and tell her that the person that she was hanging out with was The Great Overlord dressed in disguise as an annoying teenage girl. Mum just stared at me.

"Are you stupid?" She finally says, well, asks, still staring, horrified. I stare right back, trying to process what she had said just then and why she was so horrified looking.

"What?" I say, sniffling slightly. Well, it's not like I just told her the whole story with a blank face. I nearly cried a few times.

"Are you stupid? You never tell a girl her best friend is a troll unless she actually admits it. Girls don't think the same way guys do, Len-kun." She grumbles as she was folding pairs of her bras and underwear up. Oh, so she tells me now.

"What did she say?" Mum asks, walking off down the hallway. I have to run a bit to catch up to her.

"Um," I thought for a moment to try and recall what happened yesterday, "well, she said 'I HATE YOU' and 'YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING' a lot." Mum wacks her head against her bedroom door which she was opening.

"See?" She says, "That's a girl's way of telling you to shut up when you're making her upset. You kept pushing, now, didn't you? God, you're dumber than your father."

Ouch. Thanks for the acknowledgement, Mum. I already know I'm stupid enough. You didn't need to compare me to your husband, now. I slink behind her guiltily, frowning.

"Len-kun, don't go straight up to her on Monday and apologize. She'll kick you in the mouth if you do. Leave it for a few weeks, let her cool down, and then ask to meet her-"

"NO, PEOPLE WILL THINK I'LL BE ASKING HER OUT-"

"And then ask to meet her in the library or something to discuss something, and make it sound like homework or a question in your assignment that you need help with. Make sure you actually do have a question or some homework you don't understand. She's smart, isn't she? I used to go to school with her father…" she begins to ramble on with irrelevant stuff, so I have to break in to get her back on topic.

"And…?" I mutter.

"And when you're in the middle of working out the answer, say something like, 'I'm really sorry about what I said insert time here, insert her name here. I didn't know what the hell I was saying and I'm really stupid, so please forgive me. I'm sorry." Mum explains, and I nod.

"Can you say that again? Hey wait, I'm just going to get some paper to write it down-"

"Len-kun, you have a half decent memory, I'm sure you'll be able to remember fragments of our conversation if you really want to 'make up' with Kagamine-chan."

Okay, so I've just got to remember. Yeah.

It finally came to Monday, after procrastinating all weekend playing video games and such and staying up until 3 AM in the morning on a school night finishing homework/assignments. I've been playing the scenario of Rin-chan and I in the library in my head over and over again. I pray Hatsune-san won't show up in the middle of it. Maybe I should pick a day when she is away?

I get to school in time for the bell and end up falling asleep in homeroom. Kamui-sensei catches me and makes a fool of me in front of Rin-chan and the rest of the class. But I'm feeling extra awesome today, so I think of some awesome half-true facts to counterattack.

"I see that Kagamine-kun has been up all night gaming again." He says, after he wakes me up.

"Actually sir, I was thinking." I correct him.

"Thinking about what exactly, Kagamine-kun?" He asks. Oh no, please don't tell me… he thinks I'm that kind of person?

"Sir, I highly assure you, I wasn't thinking of girls… okay, maybe one, but not in that way." Oh God, I just said something I shouldn't have. Now he has that paedophile look on his face.

"Oh, do you have a crush, Len-kun? Or maybe a girlfriend we don't know-"

"Just give me detention." I grunt, hiding my red flaring cheeks with my hands.

The whole class was listening now. Even Rin-chan. I wonder what was going through her mind.

"Well, Len-kun, we can discuss your little crush after school, then~" He purrs. Wait, he purrs? That's just… no, it's just weird.

"I'll tell the principal if you try and get that poor boy to tell you his crush." Someone says, and everyone turns their heads towards the door, where the voice came from. It was Megurine-sensei. -

She had scissors in her hand and her eyes were narrowed into slits. Megurine-sensei is the deputy principal. She's scary, man, she's scary.

But then she smiles suddenly and says, "Oh, and Gakupo-kun, dinner tonight at your place, okay?" And she winks at me. Is that a hint? Wait…

My homeroom teacher/Science teacher and the deputy principal/my English teacher are going out? WHAT IS THIS, I DON'T EVEN- IS THIS BUSH WEEK? ksa;SJ;jks;jdkajka;jkJJK;jksd;jfkd

"Aw, too bad Len-kun, I'll have to leave you alone again for my darling Luka-chan~" He sighs. "Maybe next time, okay?" And he winks at me. I'VE HAD TWO WINKS TODAY FROM TEACHERS. THAT IS NOT NORMAL.

I don't say anything, I just shrink back into my chair, blushing and avoiding everyone's laughing eyes. Monday has been destroyed already - by two stupid and embarrassing teachers.

Someone cries, "Sorry I'm late, Kamui-sensei! There was a car accident and so I got caught in some traffic." I look up and realise it was Rin-chan. Oh, so she wasn't here all along? I feel relieved slightly. Rin-chan turns to sit down and our eyes connect. I averted my eyes quickly because I remembered her crying. I suck, a lot.

It was lunch break. I hear Hatsune-san's voice sing from down the hallway, "Ohhhhhhhhhh LEN-KUN~" And I have to quicken my pace.

"Damn, damn, damn, damn…" I mutter into my hand which I held over my mouth. Everyone turns and looks at me as I walk past and my cheeks flare red. This makes me look like I'm embarrassed because I like her. Correction: I'm embarrassed because she's drawing attention to me.

I quickly jump into a crowd to lose her and manage to dodge into a small hiding place behind a bin. Yes, a bin - I'm stupid, remember? She skips past still calling me and I notice Rin-chan wasn't with her. I want to go to the library.

And so I went to the library. I walked in, saw Rin-chan leaning over some books next to a blue-haired dude, and just went to walk out before someone says, "LEN-KUN!" and my body make contact with the floor that my feet were once standing on.

"UNF," I gasp, the air knocked out of my lungs. Someone was sitting on me, and it gave me a few moments to realise it was Hatsune-san (I noticed the teal paint on her fingernails). Wait, she was SITTING ON ME? OH NO, YOU DIDN'T.

"GET off ME." I rasp, having trouble breathing. Be Jesus, she weighs about 60 kilograms AT LEAST. She giggles.

"Why, Len-kun?" She whines, "You're comfy~" I won't be comfortable when I get you OFF MY BACK. I was also aware the whole library was watching, including Rin-chan, the blue dude and the librarians. Wait, BLUE DUDE?

I suddenly get some emergency strength and manage to sit up, Hatsune-san falling onto the floor behind me. I glance behind me, at Hatsune-san whining about her butt hurting and at Rin-chan with the blue dude WHO IS WEARING A SENIOR UNIFORM. RIN-CHAN IS ONLY 13. DON'T TELL ME SHE IS IN LOVE WITH-

"LEN-KUN~" Hatsune-san says, hugging me. She's taller than me and so it's really awkward. I sigh, pull her annoyingly tight grasp off me and turn to her.

"Hatsune-san, I'm gay." I say. And I just said… I'M GAY. GAY as in I LIKE GUYS. OH MY GOD. She blinks for a moment and squeals.

"Oh, Len-kun, I never knew you were happy to see me~"

"NO, I AM GAY AS IN HOMOSEXUAL. I LIKE GUYS…" I trail off when I realise everyone is looking at me. Including Rin-chan. And that blue senior dude which Rin-chan is dating- ;JSKl;Sjks;AJKLJS;AKLj;skl;jsKLJ;jsakl

My face felt hot. I turn away and go to open the library door but instead walk into it. I grumble something, swing open the door and storm out in frustration.

I am stupid.

I bet you didn't see THAT coming ;D /shot

More errors -

14 REVIEWS - I THINK I MIGHT DIE NOW. /dies

And the blue senior dude is I like creating paedophile teachers.