Author's Note: To make up for not posting a new chapter yesterday this chapter is twice as long as normal ones. Just an FYI, I cried writing this chapter. It has been really cathartic writing my pain into Emma's journey. There is a discussion of death and loss in this chapter. I have tagged this story as angst and the next few chapters will be rocky but hang in with me. We will break through the darkness and find the light.

Emma felt a mix of emotions as Killian opened the door for her and she stepped inside their home. Her heart missed Henry every second of every day. She didn't tell Henry, but she had checked on him from time to time over the years. Mirror magic was definitely a handy thing. Regina joined her and Killian on a few occasions and they watched Henry for hours at a time, the three of them reliving memories of their son as a child. A few times, Emma even used her cell phone to snap a few pictures of the images she conjured in the mirror to show her parents.

Killian asked her one of the times they had checked on him how she thought Henry still had gasoline for his motorcycle. Emma figured he had used his Author's pen to magic some gas into the tank. Since Emma had gotten pregnant this time she had checked on him more often then she would've liked to admit.

What she had told Henry was true, she was never going to be okay being apart. All she wanted was for her kids to be happy, even if life took them away from her. A tear rolled down her cheek as she thought of the two children she and Killian had lost. Knowing as she did of the afterlife, she hoped her children's souls found peace. She liked to think they were watched over by their Uncle Liam and she would see them again someday.

"Love?" Killian softly whispered as he gathered her into his arms. "It's ok," he kissed her forehead, her cheeks and her lips. Emma couldn't hold back the tidal wave any longer.

Emma sobbed large, ugly tears as her emotions overwhelmed her. Missing Henry, thinking of her lost children and her damn hormones was just the worst fucking combination. Her legs started to give way but Killian scooped her up and carried her up to their room. Once he reached the bed, he helped her out of her clothes and into her pajamas. He deposited her clothes in the laundry bin and disappeared into their closet and returned wearing a pair of flannel sweats, brace in hand. He tucked his brace onto his side table and joined Emma under the covers.

"I texted Dave and let him know we're back. He said he'll cover the station calls overnight to give you a chance to rest," Killian ventured, knowing she was still awake.

Emma turned in his arms. She pressed herself against his bare chest, trailing her hand over the dark hair that covered his chest, taking comfort in his closeness.

"Thanks. I wasn't exactly up for going straight back to work. I was thinking about Reagan and Brandon," Emma mumbled, meeting his eyes. Killian's expression fell a little. She knew what he was remembering as his arms tightened around her.

"Aye, I imagined that you might be," Killian said, pulling back and catching her chin to turn her eyes to his.

Reagan was their first child. Emma had been too early in the pregnancy to know the child's gender so Archie had suggested that they both pick a gender neutral name for the child. A way to remember and grieve at the same time. Brandon had been born at 31 weeks and the prognosis from the doctor was grim and something magic couldn't fix. She and Killian got hold him and made sure their little boy felt nothing but love in his brief hours on this earth. His funeral had been difficult to make it though. She was grateful Henry hadn't been there for that.

"It will be okay, love, I know it. I know this babe is strong and will be safe in your arms before you know it," Killian vowed. Emma kissed him fiercely.

"I have hope. Seeing Henry helped bolster that feeling. Although I won't lie, I've thought about mixing up that potion I used on Zelena to speed up my pregnancy," Emma admitted, looking away.

"You know that isn't the answer," Killian warned.

"Zelena threatened to do it too, you know, when I first told her and Regina," she reminded her husband. "Though I know she meant it as more of a way to ensure things didn't go horribly wrong for this one. I almost wanted to take her up on it. She is a surprisingly good friend. Motherhood has certainly changed her."

"Motherhood has changed you, Swan," he reminded her of her own journey since Henry knocked on her door all those years ago. "I have faith. Even after all these years of trials, I have faith."

"I'm staring down forty, Killian. The dangers are higher and just thinking about taking that potion is evidence of my doubts, but with you here with me, I feel stronger and I know this child will be alright."

"Exactly, now get some rest my love. Tomorrow you've got to tell a certain wicked resident that her sister has chosen to stay in another realm," Killian advised.

Emma groaned, forgetting entirely about the fact that she had not texted Zelena about the events of the past two days.

"Why me?" she whined, laughing as Killian tickled her.

"Well, Swan, because Zelena would never harm a pregnant woman," Killian laughed. "Now I know she's not exactly going to be pleased that Regina didn't say goodbye but mother to mother, she'll understand Regina's choice."

Emma felt just a little better and she knew that was her husband's goal. Killian held her as he sang a song in one of the languages he knew. Emma never asked him it's meaning but he often sang it when she was worried. Emma's hand rested on her stomach, rubbing over the gentle swell until she couldn't keep her eyes open any longer, lulled to sleep by Killian's lilting voice.

To be continued...

Keep those tissues handy... Henry has a story to tell