Kurama's POV

I don't know for how long I stayed like that, watching Yusuke's back as he carried Iris away until I finally willed myself to follow. I did so at a distance though, because I didn't think I could look at her blood-covered figure and not do something stupid and out of character. I was so incredibly disgusted with myself, just as if I was the one who hurt her so, even though it wasn't actually me who did it. Me and Yoko were two completely different people who happened to live in the same body, much like Iris and Luna.

Even though it wasn't me, I disgusted and utterly ashamed and guilty because it was my body. My body did the most impossible thing imaginable and hurt one of the people I cared for most. The girl I loved. I frowned, feeling deep, angry lines form on my forehead as I thought on how Yoko had treated her. It had been a fair fight until I could see through his eyes that she couldn't go on anymore and he continued on with his stream of attacks. I tried not to interfere despite how much it pained me, ripped me to shreds in the inside to see her getting hurt. That is, until he crossed the line. I tried to regain control and force my presence on him so we would change back, but somehow he was very determined on not letting me. His conscience left like it was shielded by a brick wall, unyielding and impenetrable.

I was trapped inside, feeling hopeless to defend her.

I tried to think back on any other circumstances when Yoko might have shown any kind of resentment toward Iris and couldn't find any. The only feeling I can recall is dislike. Sometimes annoyance. But never this deep loathing. I never thought him capable of that, knowing how I felt about her.

If he wasn't so much more powerful than I was, I would've vowed right then not to change into Yoko Kurama ever again. But it would be selfish to do so, I knew. Yoko Kurama brought us victory when I failed, more than once. I failed to win when it mattered and now I failed to save Iris from an injustice that was out of her hands.

I had only once been as disgusted with myself as I was now: when I was forced to kill Amanuma, the Game Master. Only this time, it was somehow worse. Killing Amanuma was the best choice to be made in that situation, to be able to move forward in finding Sensui and stop the apocalypse from happening. Today, my body – therefore I – almost killed Iris with my bare hands for absolutely no reason at all save for hatred.

***

This journey seemed longer than ever before. I followed Yusuke through the portal that took us to Human World, close to her house. I willed myself to catch up with him then. When I did, he said nothing to me; he acted as I wasn't even there. I took one look as Iris, took in a sharp breath at the shocking state she was in and gritted my teeth together so hard I thought my jaw would snap from the pressure. He carried her the entire way and placed her body in such a position so that it seemed as if he was cradling her in his arms, her head resting against his chest.

It would look rather peaceful if it wasn't for the blood that was covering most of the surface of her clothes and bare skin, the many wounds that were visible now through the holes and the dry blood, along with the cuts and bruises that were spread throughout her body. It was no wonder she eventually fainted, the pain becoming too hard for her to bear, bur it was surprising she, as a human, resisted for so long. Just then, I barely made out a faint outline that seemed to be following us, particularly Yusuke.

"Sasha?" I whispered softly. I saw her stop momentarily from her graceful stride and she looked at me. Her eyes right then, in her Spirit Form, were like a mirror or Luna's. Grey and cold, judgmental and accusing. Then she looked back at Iris and ignored me for the rest of the way home.

When we finally got to Iris's house, Yusuke tried to go through the door, but it was locked. I heard him curse under his breath, then started walking around the house. I followed him, scowling, and wondered what he was planning to do. Or, better yet, dreading. Sure enough, he went to the back door, tried to open it and when he saw it was locked, he kicked it open with his leg. The door fell hard on the ground and he simply walked on it and toward the living room.

"I don't think Iris will be very pleased that you broke her door," I said, looking over my shoulder at it.

"I don't think she will be very pleased to see you when she wakes up, knowing that you did nothing to help her," he retorted bluntly and I remained quiet. He was right, after all.

Yusuke went up the stairs and toward Iris's room, and placed her as gently as he could on the bed. Then he straightened up and groaned. "Damn," he muttered under his breath, "She's heavier than she looks." Then his hard eyes were upon me. "Well?" he prompted, "don't just stand there and look pretty, help me," he snapped.

I nodded, knowing what I had to do. Though Sasha was working on healing her wounds, all she was doing was helping speed up the process of their closing. We would have to clean them up first so they wouldn't get infected. I went through the same process as when I always do when we have injuries. I went to the kitchen and get a bowl and summoned the plants that I needed. I crushed some, took the petals of other. I could do this process blindfolded. When I was done, I had a bowl of clear light green gel-like substance used to clean the wounds, a smaller one filled with a deep purple paste mainly so that it would eliminate any of the smaller scars she might have, about 20 red flower petals to put on the wounds that would speed up the healing, since she had a lot of injuries, and two towels, one damp and one dry.

I went back to Iris's room and saw that Yusuke was already there, fiddling with a small bottle and a towel. In the meantime, Kuwabara arrived too. He was sitting on a chair in the corner, looking at Iris as if he was at her funeral. I tried not to look at him. The two were in a conversation.

"—got bored and stayed in Spirit World," Kuwabara said and Yusuke made an irritated sound.

"Hiei?" I asked, though I knew the answer to the question.

"Yeah. He said she'll be fine, which surprised me. I didn't think he cared." Kuwabara looked right at me as he spoke and I saw absolutely no trace of accusation in his eyes. He was the only one who didn't blame me.

"Yusuke, what are you doing?" I asked him, unable to hold the question in any longer. He had the bottle in one hand, the towel in another and was surveying Iris from head to foot.

"Trying to figure out where to start," he said vaguely. I didn't realize what he meant, until he dibbed the towel in the wide neck of the bottle and then tapped on one of her wounds on her arm gently. Rubbing alcohol.

Then, it all happened too fast for me to process what happened until it already did, mainly because I didn't expect anything to happen. We were all taken by surprise. I heard a scream and, in the blink of an eye, Iris's eyes snapped open and one of her hands went to Yusuke's collar, gripping him tightly. She was breathing heavily and Yusuke was staring at her wide eyes, holding his utensils in a very awkward position. Her eyes didn't seem to process what she was doing yet. She realized quickly what happened, and let go of him. She dropped her head in the hand that was gripping Yusuke and took in a shaky breath.

"What the hell was that?!" she snapped at him, her voice ragged.

Yusuke was aghast. "Rubbing alcohol?" he sounded uncertain, still not sure what just happened.

Iris looked at Yusuke an made a face. "Get that thing away from me."

He finally caught on. "No. We have to clean your injuries." I was impressed with how diplomatic he was acting; I was expecting him to shout and to force her, maybe even strap her to the bed.

"I hate that stuff," she said spitefully, glaring at the bottle. "I can't believe I still have it in the house."

"You'll just have to deal." He dibbed the towel again and motioned to come closer.

Iris inched away from it and winced from the pain. "Yusuke Urameshi, if you get any closer, I'm going to come after you and hurt you in your sleep!" She didn't seem to be joking. I chuckled nonetheless. I was incredibly relieved. Sasha's healing must've been enough for her to wake up from the shock her body received from the rubbing alcohol. I was glad she was well enough that she could threaten him.

"I'll take my chances." He came closer and she shied away.

"Perhaps," I stepped in to her rescue, "we can skip the alcohol and use some of these?" I showed her what I brought. Iris eyed the bowls suspiciously. "It won't hurt you at all. I used these on you before, after all." She stared at the bowls a few seconds longer and the nodded, resigned. Yusuke stepped away and I took his place. I took my time preparing everything before I finally looked at her. Her face looked in a worse state when I looked closer. Her right eye was swollen, had some minor cuts as well as some serious bruises on both cheeks and a deep cut on her lower lip that was still bleeding.

Her turquoise eyes were completely blameless though, even relieved, though I know that was because she didn't have to reacquaint herself with rubbing alcohol rather than just my presence. I piled up some pillows against the headrest so that she could sit up without her having to put an effort. I pushed her gently against the pillows and held her shoulder a second longer.

Her eyes were on me the entire time while I worked. I was so concentrated on treating her gently and relieving her of pain that I didn't even realize Yusuke and Kuwabara left until I was struck by the glory of silence.

Now that it was the two of us, her eyes had a different effect on me. While I was gently brushing off the blood on her cheek and lips, I noticed those turquoise eyes never left me. They felt like a pressure, a weight on my shoulders that I needed to be relieved of. Never have I felt the intensity of her gaze as strongly as now. I had to speak my mind, apologize somehow, but I seemed to be struggling to form the words that I needed. So instead of trying so hard to say it just right, I did something that I don't normally do: I let it all out.

"The connection between me and Yoko Kurama is different from the one between you and Luna," I started, keeping my eyes on the wound I was treating on her arm. I could feel her watching me. "You two have to agree on the change for it to happen. With me and Yoko, the person in charge decides when to change, that's why Yoko Kurama doesn't come to the surface very often, because I don't let him until I can't handle the situation at hand. However." I stopped at that point, sighed, and met her eyes. Her hand was still in mine though I finished cleaning her wound there; I rubbed the back of it with my thumb. "However, both of us could very well take change if we would put enough strength and will into that one desire. I tried to do that and I failed."

Her brows creased in what I knew was sadness. Iris was sad for me when she almost paid with her life that I wasn't strong enough. "Kurama, it's—"

"It is my fault," I said before she could get her point across. "You almost got killed. Do you realize that?" I felt deep anger and frustration that despite all my training I still wasn't strong enough. I didn't try to keep it in though. No, not this time. I let it come to the surface as I clenched my fist tightly. "This body, my body, hurt you, Iris. Almost killed you. I don't think I can ever forgive myself for that."

Her sad expression didn't change and I wondered how she could still feel sad for me at this point. I wanted to take my hand away, feeling that I wasn't worthy of her touch, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. As if sensing that thought, she held my hand slightly tighter with her feeble strength. Don't let go, I felt her telling me though that simple movement. I would never do that. I loved her too much.

"Kurama." She spoke my name clearly, almost demanding. I met her eyes again and saw determination and anger. "You didn't hurt me. You understand that? You didn't hurt me. Yoko did. The fact that you two share the same body doesn't make you responsible for what he did."

I understood that. I was perfectly aware of that. We were two completely different people. And yet, I still felt resentment for myself, because still, whether I was responsible or not is irrelevant. The bottom line was that I wasn't strong enough to stop him when I knew he was getting too far.

I kept her eyes and felt anguished inside. Her eyes were so warm, so kind, so…clear of blame. When I spoke, I had to control my voice from shaking with emotion and anger. "This is the second time when my strength was put to a test concerning you, and I almost failed, and every time I get closer and closer. I don't want this to happen a third time."

Iris didn't say anything to that. Instead, she slowly straightened her back and with her bruised hand she pulled me gently to her. I leaned in and embraced her, feeling that I didn't deserve her touch but was too unwilling to pull away. I brushed her hair from her forehead and kissed her gently. After that I continued to treat her injuries in silence. Not long into my nursing, she fell asleep.

A/N: I actually had a bit of trouble with this chapter. Never seeing Kurama in any type of situation like this before, i was unsure of how he would react. I dearly hope i didn't make him seem OOC.

Anyway, i hope you guys will like it. I had my share of fun with the rubbing alcohol, lol.

R&R!