Chapter 4- Dan's POV
I opened the door and walked into the flat. Complete silence. Not even the sound of footsteps. Making sure Phil could hear it, but without slamming it, I closed the door. Nothing. "Phil?" I called out. Still, there was nothing. That's when I should have turned around and ran. I should have gotten the hell out. But, I didn't know what I would have seen. I kept walking, deeper and deeper, into the dark, desolate flat.
As I ventured on, I saw the bathroom light still on. "Phil?" I asked, as I turned the corner. I didn't see him, no. Not yet. The stench of fresh blood hit me first. It was strong, almost overcoming, and metallic. I had to close my eyes; the scent was so strong. I could almost see the red through the back of my eyelids. A crash of thunder sounded off; I hadn't even realized it was raining. But, I opened my eyes. And I collapsed into a pile of nothing.
I felt like just a body, no soul, no hope. Because, when I opened my eyes, I saw Phil. His eyes were closed and there was blood everywhere. Phil Lester was so pale. If anything, he looked like a bloody white rose. Pale, flawless, and covered in blood. I had no reason to believe he was even still alive. I crawled forwards, on my hands and knees, begging God to please let me wake up from this horrendous version of a nightmare. But I didn't. I was awake. It was real. My phone, which had been in my pocket this entire time, was my only salvation. I had to think and move quickly. I called for an ambulance and began checking for a pulse.
It isn't like you see on television. It's not all happening in slow-motion. There is no hope. You just try to think, 'What can I do? How do I do this?' You can't be sure you're even doing the CPR correctly. You just have to try. And, hopefully, something will work. But, not this time. I did CPR for 3 minutes straight and got no response. Every time I pumped on his chest, I kept thinking, "Please, please wake up you fucking idiot! Please. Please!" And every time I placed my mouth on his soft, cold lips, I thought about him being gone. I couldn't stop crying. I finally resorted to slapping him, screaming, and cussing. "Phil Lester, you fucking retard. Wake the hell up you little shit so I can tell you that I fucking love you! Bloody hell!"
Eventually, you just give up. I didn't want to, but I saw a white, folded piece of paper next to Phil's hand. I gave up on the obviously failed attempt at CPR and picked it up. Slowly, I unfolded the note and read.
Dan,
Hey, I'm so sorry. You are going to be the one to find me here. But, you said that I was screwing with your head and I didn't want to be a burden. But, before I die, I wanted to tell you how I feel. Daniel James Howell, I love you. And I know love is just a shout into the void and oblivion is inevitable, and we're all doomed and that there will come a day when all our labor has been turned to dust, and I know the sun will swallow the only earth we will ever have, and I am in love with you.
Yes, by the way I just quoted your favorite book. I did get around to reading 'The Fault In Our Stars' by John Green. You'll notice your copy is missing. I was hiding it and secretly reading it. It was supposed to be a surprise, Dan. If you look under my mattress, you'll find it.
I was going to tell you about my feelings a long time ago. But, I was scared of rejection. Well Yolo right? Then this confession can't kill me later. Please laugh at that. Please. Don't cry. I'm going to miss you a lot Dan. And there's so much I didn't get to do. I never even got to kiss you goodbye. Oh well.
Love You,
Phil Lester 3
Hey, Demons! I'm back! I hope you enjoyed having your feels broken. :P I obiously don't own 'The Fault In Our Stars', I still don't like typing the obvious. Anyway, my boyfriend, Michael, is being adorable. 3 If he is reading this, Love you baby! And my friend, Kat, and her boyfriend, Hao, are reading my fanfictions and being super supportive. You guys rock. By the way, Kat and I are planning a Co-Lab fanfic together. It will be awesome so stay tuned for that. It will be Vocaloid/ Horror Movies. So stay tuned for that. I will post 2 or 3 more chapters of this fic though. So, as always, keep fighting! 3
-Kit