I ran up to her door, knocking automatically, forgetting about the father who would certainly be disappointed and angry with me but my heart was beating too rapidly to think of anything but her.
I just left her.
If he wants to yell at me, he would have to wait. I bounce from foot to foot, anticipation taking over my core. I replayed her face over and over in my head.
I can't believe I just left her.
My father hung up the phone. He paused with his hand on the phone, just looking at it, then he sighed and slowly turned to me. There was something different about him. For one, I know if he doesn't leave now, he's going to be late for work. He hates being late for work. He set down his briefcase and sat in the chair across from me, then sighed again, running a hand through his hair.
"All this time at my house and I have no idea why you're here. Every time your mother calls, she sounds so casual, just checking up, so I kind of figured this was a visit, all these years and you just wanted to visit your dad." He looked up, staring right into my eyes. "But today, she's crying. She explains everything to me." I turn away from his gaze; he's waiting for me to say something.
"I'm going for a walk." Is all I say before getting up.
"I don't think so Lillian, please sit down." A month I've been staying at his place and he just starts using rules? But I do sit down. "It's becoming clear to me. The way you never smile, the way it always seem like your just acting like everything is fine. Your mother was hoping you'd just snap out of it, but when I told her the same explanation as every other call, she broke down. Your in denial, Lilly." My head snapped up. Denial?
"W-what? Denial for what? I'm not in denial." I said with a glare, then I stood up, again.
"Please, sit down." He said with force, and I did sit down, again. "I'm not going to let you just walk away from this. I made plenty of mistakes in my life and right now I'm trying to make up for them. Letting you walk out this door, without you explaining something, anything to me, would be another big mistake."
"I don't know what your talking about dad." I said just above a whisper. I kind of sounded like a scared child.
"You can't get out of this. Your mother explained everything to me." I turned around slowly to look at him again. "Everything." I looked down at my clasped hands, starting to fidget with my thumbs.
"I didn't want to cause more problems. He was already mad at me. I mean, after all, I was dating his little girl."
"You're talking about her father, right? There's a simple answer for that. I would've done the same thing. Watching someone come and wisk my little girl away, it's a little overwhelming. But from the sound of things, you guys were happy and if that person made my little girl happy, I would've got over it. I would've learned to love the person of her dreams, like she was my own." I looked at him. "He apologized to your mother the other day. He's sorry for what he did."
"Really?" He nodded his head.
"Really. Now, when your mother called me, she asked for my help. I know she isn't very fond of me, so when she asks for my help, it's got to be big. Lilly, no one's mad at you. I'm sure her father is actually grateful, I know I would be if my little girl was being attacked –"
"But it was my fault Miley was attacked! My ex-boyfriend attacked her!" I yelled at him. He just smiled and nodded his head.
"So you told your ex-boyfriend to attack, Miley?" I looked at him. My mouth opened, then closed. I never thought of that.
"No, I didn't." I said very slowly.
"I didn't think so. So, if Miley didn't blame you, why do you think anyone else would?" I shook my head back and forth. "Lilly, this isn't your fault. You were just saving, Miley." I looked at him. "Right?"
"Yeah, he had her pinned against the wall." He smiled wider.
"But what is your fault is that you left Miley devastated, when she woke up to find you gone. Your mother explained to me what happened. She cried in her arms, until Miley just passed out, probably from shock. Which only makes me think she was completely in love with you, if your being gone is that shocking."
"She passed out from s-shock?" I asked, my eyes wide. He shook his head yes.
"And now she barely eats, barely speaks." His words started getting harsher. "You broke her heart, Lilly. I don't even know the girl, but it's pretty obvious you were her everything. I feel bad for her and I'm just mad at you. What were you thinking leaving? You had no reason. She still loved you. Just because you knocked some sense into that guy, doesn't mean she's going to stop." My throat started getting tighter. There were tears in my eyes. He got up and wrapped his arms around me. I started sobbing. It really didn't hit me, it's like I was just blank this past month. Nothing mattered. I was just a blank shell. Blank. What he said hit me hard.
"Lilly, you might not believe me but after your mother left, it took me a while to figure out she wasn't going to come back. I stopped drinking when the realization hit me but it was too late and I now she's never going to come back to me. Don't let it be too late for you, Lilly. Miley still loves you. Go fix the mistake you just made."
It took me only 20 minutes to get out of the house after that. 10 minutes to pack, 5 minutes to get the stuff in my car and then 5 to say goodbye to my father, the guy I now looked up to. I took a deep breath as I heard the footsteps. It's only been a minute since I knocked, but it feels like a lifetime.
Jackson opens the door. He just looks at me for a couple of seconds, blinking rapidly before his face contorts into an angry glare.
"You better fix this or I'm going to find a way to torture you for the rest of your life." Then he steps aside and I walk in. Mr. Stewart is leaning over the counter, looking like he already knew who was going to be at the door.
"Lilly." He says gently, but he also has the same glare as Jackson has on his face. "She's in her room." I hear Jackson close the door behind me, before he stomps over the couch. I take in a deep breath.
"I am so, so sorry. I didn't mean any harm. I just –"
"Lilly, apologize after you talk to Miley." He cuts in still glaring at me. I just look at him. " Go, now!" He points at the stairs and I nod my head before running up them, taking them two at a time.
I stop with my hand on her doorknob. I stare at her door. I listen for something but I hear nothing. I take a deep breath and turn the doorknob.
It's locked. I let out my breath in a whoosh. At least I definitely know she's in there. It's not like I didn't believe Mr. Stewart, but it's better if you find out for yourself. She's got to be sleeping. I knock, then listen. I hear nothing. I knock again. My heart beat speeds up and I still hear nothing. I knock, yet again.
This time I hear shuffling of feet. Then the click of the door lock. It's like time is going in slow motion as the door opens.
I suck in a deep breath at the site of her. My heart automatically jumping out of my chest. Her hair is in a messy, dirty bun. She's wearing gray sweatpants, no slippers. She usually wears slippers. She's wearing a black, zip-up hoodie, zipped up all the way to her neck.
"Miley." I say in an outtake of the breath I was holding in. She just blinks. Her face totally expressionless. Then she shrugged and shut the door again, but my hand flies out before it can shut all the way. Her eyes open wide at the same time her mouth drops open. She stares at my hand on the door. I take a step in. She takes a step back. Then her face turns expressionless. She shrugs again, before turning around and walking away.
You know that expression she had on her face a minute ago? Yeah, it's on mine now. I watch her lie on her bed, then curl up into a ball. I shake my head to get me moving, then slowly move towards her. I move around the bed, relieved when I see her staring at me. I sit down on the edge of the bed. She doesn't move, just a blink every now and then. I put my hand on her cheek.
She recoils, jumping back into a sitting position. I move onto the bed, sitting crossed leg in front of her.
"Miley. I know it probably doesn't mean much, but please forgive me. Please. What I did was stupid. Incredibly. I wasn't thinking." I reach out my hand slowly. Her eyes follow as I lay it on her own hand.
"Lilly?" She whispers softly, so softly I had to strain to hear her. She looks up from my hand, to look at me. "Is that really you?" I uncrossed my legs and crawled over to her, wrapping my arms around her body. I feel her go totally stiff.
"Yes, baby, I'm here." I whisper into her ear, putting as much love and want into those few words. I feel her relax into my hold. "I'm so sorry, Miley. I don't know what I was thinking but I do know I'm still completely in love with you." I feel her wrap her arms around my waist before she pulled back completely and punched me pretty hard in the arm. Then she pushed me, I went to reach for her, watching as tears started flooding her eyes but she pushed me again.
"You left me!" She screamed. I just moved closer to her, wrapping my arms around her again, she kept on pushing, but I just held on tighter.
"I know, I know." I whispered into her ear. She stopped pushing me and wrapped her arms around my waist again. She pushed her face into the crook of my neck, and I felt a sob rip through her before I even felt the tears on my neck. "I am so sorry. You don't have to forgive me. Just know I'll never leave you again. Never." Another sob racked her small frame. I felt her arms grip tighter, her nails digging into my back. I didn't mind. I knew she was listening. She cried for at least 5 minutes before her shaking stopped.
"Say it, again." She said, the words muffled as her face was still pushed into my neck. It took me a second to realize what she meant.
"I love you, Miley." She raised her head; her eyes blood shot, tears staining her cheeks. I almost panicked when I felt her grip loosen. She only moved her hands onto my cheeks, moving my face towards hers.
Then she kissed me. My eyes closed as my body let out ravaging tingles. I went to put my hands in her hair, only to find it in a bun. I slowly pulled out her pony holder, fluffing her hair and running my hands through it. The kiss lasted forever. So long, that when we finally pulled apart for air, we were gasping.
"I am so –" She kissed me again.
"Just promise me you won't ever do it again." She said against my lips and I smiled.
"I promise." I said opening my eyes and staring into her extravagant green ones.
"Good. I'll never forgive you, Lillian. Never. But I'm still foolishly and completely in love with you, so I'm willing to let you make it up to me." I smiled wider and kissed her again, using my body to push her into the bed. I kissed her nose. I kissed her jaw line. I kissed her cheek. I kissed her ear.
"I love you so, much. I was so stupid." I whispered with passion into her ear.
"Yes, you were." I smiled. I could hear the smile in her own voice. My throat tightened up. Because I knew how long it's been since she smiled. Her voice even sounded a little cracked, like she hasn't spoken in a month. Maybe because she hasn't. I buried my face into her neck, trying to hold back the tears. She started rubbing her hands up and down my back.
"He hurt you. I can still remember the anger boiling up when I saw the finger marks around your neck. I wanted to throw up because I knew it was my fault. He was angry with you because of me. I didn't even think, I just remember pacing before I spotted the bat. Then I just stopped thinking. I grabbed the bat and ran out the door. Finding him where I found him the first time I ever saw him. 'Lilly' is all he said before I swung the bat right into his stomach. He fell completely backwards. He rolled around on the ground before he got up on his knees, holding his stomach. I swung again." I felt her grip on me tighten as a tear fell out of my eye. "I heard the crack of his arm as soon as the bat hit it. He grunted before falling limp." A sob escaped me. I was sobbing into Miley's neck.
"It wasn't your fault, Lilly. It was both of ours. I'm the one who ran away when you told me truth. You just picked a crazy, psycho to get revenge with. It's both of our faults. Why didn't you just tell me this before you left?"
"I-I d-don't know." I said in between sobs. "Maybe because I already thought I caused enough trouble in your family. Your dad was already furious with me and - and, I just didn't want to cause any more trouble for you and your family."
I felt her kiss my temple.
"I love you, Lilly. Just know you can trust me. Trust us. We can fight anything together. I should've realized that before you left. You are the other half of my soul, and it took your disappearing to see that. I need you. More than you'll ever know."