They call me 'quiet girl'
But I'm a riot
Mary-Jo-Lisa
Always the same
That's not my name
That's not my name
That's not my name
That's not my name

"Hot. Damn." I heard Bella gasp in front of me. She had just finished her daily poke Edward's self esteem session and was standing in her new room. I didn't see why she felt the need to curse so much. It was a horrible habit.

"Is something the matter?" I asked, politely. I made sure to keep my voice at a reasonable volume. She didn't like it when I spoke too softly.

"Hot. Fucking. Damn." She repeated, adding in a new crude word. "I think I might die."

"Why?" I asked, slightly alarmed.

"This is....hot damn." She breathed. Her voice cracked a little. She cleared her throat and shook her head. "It's fucking awesome."

"That's great." I smiled. I had actually been the one to pick her room out. I thought she might like it.

The walls were white, so she had a blank canvas. The floors were hardwood, which meant no stains. That was mainly Mama's worry. The room was rather large. Enough room for all her stuff, plus the things Mama planned on buying her. There was a large bay window with a seat made of white fabric. The seat lifted up too. I thought it was neat.

She walked in, slowly. She went over to the window. She stroked the glass, gently. She then proceeded to lower herself onto the bench. She was in awe.

"I've never had a real room before." She whispered. "Shit."

"We thought you might like it." I admitted. "And Mama says you can do whatever you want with it."

"Well, Mary Mother of Jesus. This room is pretty beast, Red." She laughed, a little hysterically. "Say...where's the parental's lair?"

"On the second floor." I answered, quickly. I admit, it was odd thinking someone would be sleeping in my Mama's bed tonight. With her.

"Cool, cool. Can't hear them, they can't hear us." She said, almost to herself.

"I'm glad you like the room." I offered, weakly.

"I'm fucking glad I finally have a real room." She laughed. "You care if I take a look around? I've got it from here."

"Be my guest." I answered, smiling. She was actually being nice to me. Girls were never nice to me.

She danced out of the room, her hips swaying as she went. I blushed to myself. I shouldn't think like that. She was my sister now. Granted, we weren't actually related, but still. That just wasn't right.

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I skipped down the stairs of the fourth floor, leading me to the mysterious third floor. Red hadn't said anything about this one. I randomly opened a door. Hmm. A bathroom. Again. The Masen's must have extremely small bladders. I walked to another door and took my chances. A bedroom. Really? Who stayed here? Door number three. No way.

It was a library.

I would never admit it, but I was an avid reader. In text, I didn't mind words like avid. I loved the older books, like Jane Austen and the Bronte sisters. But I also was a fan of the trashy modern novels. Nothing too smutty, I'm not that kind of girl. If there's something in my vagina, I prefer it not be attached to my body. Just more modern books. Sarah Dessen was actually a favorite of mine.

I looked around, expecting to find old encyclopedias and family history books. But Elizabeth Masen surprised me. There were all kinds of books in here. Classic, trashy, angst, mysterious, smutty, suspenseful. You name it, it was in this room. There was even a collection of DVD's and videos. Magazine's too. This room was huge. Picture the library in Beauty and the Beast, but shrink it a little. There was big soft red couch in the middle of it, near the fireplace, that I honestly couldn't wait to curl up on. I heard wheezing and guessed it was Max and Winnie moving things around.

I reluctantly tore myself away from the magical room, to explore the rest of the house. There was a sitting room on this floor too. That was it for the third floor. The second floor held my Daddio's new lovin' room, another God damn bathroom and an extra bedroom. Jesus Christ. Really, who the hell was staying here that took up like six extra rooms?

I was back to the first floor a minute later. In the foyer, Max and Winnie were panting. Max glared at me.

"Don't help or anything." He hissed. "I mean, it's not like it's your crap were hauling."

"Its fine, Bells. We're done anyway." Winnie shrugging, catching his breath. Geez, how long was I gone? Before I could ask, Dad was in the front door.

"Everything accounted for?" He checked.

"Everything's fine and dandy." Max said, sarcastically. What a fucking pussy.

"The card table is in the game room, the side tables are in there designated rooms, same with the beds and the boxes." Win told him.

"Wow. I almost feel like I should pay you." Dad whistled. Max held his hand out, excitedly.

"I said almost." Dad pointed out. Max sighed and put his hand down. He then turned to me, tiredly.

"Bee, I love you to death, but I'm getting the fuck out of here. I'm going home and sleeping for a year." He yawned. Winnie nodded, agreeing with him.

"Fine, you big bunch of pansies. Go curl up in your race car beds and have a nice nap. I'll be here, awaiting my doom." I said, dramatically.

"Glad you understand." Winnie grinned, kissing my cheek, before leaping out the front door after Max. Dad shifted so he could put his arm around me. He then sighed and looked around.

"Well, Bellsy," He grinned. "Welcome home."

I looked at the big marble staircase and the glittering chandelier in disdain. I thought it was tacky. And compared to some of my stuff....

"Don't you like it?" He asked, rubbing my shoulder.

"It's....gaudy. But hey, my room is pretty bad ass, you need to see it." I told him, elbowing him slightly in the stomach.

"Well, its five o'clock, we haven't eaten, your room has nothing in it, Liz and Edward are probably waiting for us, so...." He trailed off, looking at his watch.

"Let's get in the pool!" I finished.

"Bells, it's the middle of March. It's cold." He told me, blankly.

"I betcha a million dollars that they have a heated pool." I grinned.

"You have a million dollars just lying around?" He demanded, following me out to the large back doors.

"No, but I'm sure I can find it in the couch cushions." I answered, swinging open the back door. Before we could get any farther, we were stopped.

"Where are you two going?" Elizabeth demanded, hands on her hips.

"Swimming." Charlie supplied, a little uneasy.

"I don't think so, its forty five degrees. Charlie, what are you thinking? You don't even have bathing suits on!" She said, aghast.

"We were planning on going in our clothes." He said, feebly.

"Like barbarians." She sniffed. "You can swim when the weather is nicer. Come inside and help me with dinner, Bella. Honestly, you two."

Dad and I trudged back in, angrily. We wanted to swim! We were both pouting. Pouting was cuter on me though, considering Dad was like thirty something. I dragged my feet into the Cinderella kitchen and glared at Elizabeth, who was cutting vegetables, neatly. She smiled back at me, warmly.

"There you are, Bella! I was just about to come out and get you again. Come here, and chop this celery." She ordered, sweetly. I wanted to do other things with that knife.

"So, Bella, are you excited about school starting in a few days?" She asked, gleefully.

"Tickled pink." I said, sarcastically.

"I have the uniform already hanging up in your closet. I got you five of them, one for everyday of the week. That way we can just wash them on the weekends. And we can go get you things for your room, bright and early, tomorrow. Tonight you can sleep in one of our guest bedrooms. We'll get you a new bed too, considering yours is so tiny." She prattled on and on, while I chopped the celery, forcefully.

"And tonight we'll go through your stuff, and see what we can get rid of." She announced.

Oh. Yeah. That's not happening.

"Pass." I said.

"Pass?" She repeated, confused.

"Pass, stop, do not collect three hundred dollars." I told her, irritated.

"You don't want to donate?" She asked, with a hurt expression.

"Donate? Dad and I are piss poor, what is there to donate?" I snorted.

"You're not poor, Bella! We'll always take care of you." Elizabeth said, shocked.

"Yeah. That's not happening. I can take care of myself, thank you." I told her, dismissively.

"You're sixteen Bella and we're your parents-"

That was all I needed to hear. I dropped the knife on the ground and stormed away from that horrid kitchen. I couldn't fucking believe she was already playing the 'We're your parents card'. She was my Step Mom. Not my Mom. Did she give birth to me? I think not. I grabbed my skateboard off the porch and threw it on the ground to skate to the park.

But then it hit me.

Ricky never went home.

I threw my skateboard near the door and rushed back in the house. Elizabeth was standing there, looking a little pissed. I ran by her and up the stairs, seriously wondering why these people didn't have a God damn elevator. I ran by Red in the hallway and flung open my door. My room was dark, but there was a shadowy figure sitting on my bench. He was looking out the window, with sorrow. I took a deep breath and approached him, slowly. I touched his shoulder, gently.

"You cool?" I asked, softly.

"As a cucumber." He responded, in a whisper.

That was our code. I removed my hand and ran it through his auburn hair. It was a darker color than Edward and Elizabeth's. There's was a lot brighter, like fire. Ricky's was almost like blood. I sat down next to him, looking out the window. We made this promise years ago.

And now I was going to sit here, on this fucking bench, till my best friend was alright.

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"Hey, boy, where's my offspring?" Charlie asked, jogging up the fourth floor stairs.

"In her room, I believe." I answered, quietly. She had gone rushing in there about half an hour ago, and never came out. Her door was slightly ajar, but I didn't want to pry. Charlie obviously didn't feel the same, for he flung her door open and peered inside. He glanced around and sighed. He proceeded to shake his head and close the door. He muttered something under his breath as he leaned against the wall.

"Whats the matter, if you don't mind me asking?" I questioned, politely. He glanced at me, briefly.

"That girl spends too much time on him. He dumps his problems on her and she loses sleep. It's not right." He murmured.

"Who?" I asked, confused. There was a male in there with her? But, who would sneak in? They just got here but a few hours ago!

"Ricky." Charlie said, scathingly.

"Ah." I murmured.

"They're asleep on the bench. They'll be out for hours." He sighed. "Oh, well. Come on, kid, your Mom made dinner."

"I'm be down in just a moment." I muttered. I sighed. I trudged back in my room, to ponder my feelings in the dark.

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I woke up, when I heard mumblings in the hallway. My door had just closed, and I got up to see who was out there. I got on the floor and tried to see under the door. I could make out my Dad's boots and Red's....loafers? Really? He's sixteen. Shouldn't he have on, I don't know, those loser basketball shoes guys seem to be obsessed with? I shook that thought away, and concentrated to listen to what Dad was saying.

"...spends too much time with him. He dumps his problems on her and she loses sleep. It's not right." He mumbled. Mr. Jesus Christ, not this again!

"Who?" Red Headed Step Child asked, confused.

"Ricky." Dad said, bitingly. Fuck. That was his, 'Imma bout to mess you up, son. You on a bench with my baby!' voice.

"Ah." Red murmured. Talk louder!

"They're asleep on that bench. They'll be out for hours." Dad sighed. "Oh, well. Come on, kid, your Mom made dinner."

"I'll be down in just a moment." Red told him. I heard his door shut and I huffed. It's not like people never talked about that weirdo Swan girl before. But I felt a little betrayed that my own Dad was gossiping about his big whore of a daughter. He would never say it, but that's what he's worried about. He's worried I'll end up barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen. I knew he was worried, but he didn't need to go complaining to Red about it! I was right there. He might've thought I was asleep, and I could still be if he hadn't slammed the door like that! He needed to learn how to talk about his daughter behind her back more softly. But I was a little bit sad too.

I was hungry.

And I was supposed to be asleep with my miscreant best friend!

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Chinese. My completely not Asian Mother attempted to make Chinese food. Mama, you're British! Dad is British! Heck, I even have an accent! I wanted to tell her these things, but that would have been rude. Mama raised me to a gentleman. And a gentleman I would always be. Not that many girls would ever give me the time of day. We sat down for dinner, with Mama's lips pursed. I nearly rolled my eyes. Weren't teenage girls known for being emotional and temperamental? Wasn't Mama prepared for this? Charlie was keeping his eyes on the deformed dumpling in front of him.

"Charlie," Mama started. "Where is Bella?"

"She's, uh, upstairs." He muttered.

"She needs to be down here with us. Its family time." Mama insisted, not so cheerful anymore.

"Look, Lizzie, Bella isn't used to this. She'll be down tomorrow. She's just...tired." He said, hesitantly.

Mama sighed, in a small tone. "Alright. I suppose her and I will get some bonding time tomorrow when we go shopping."

Charlie's eyes widened. "Um, what are you guys shopping for?"

"Bedrooms things. I might get her a few outfits, too. Something that matches." Mama said, playfully.

"Lizzie, I'm not trying to order you around or anything, but let Bella pick her own stuff. She's picky. Got that from her Mother." Charlie told her. Ah, the mystery woman.

Mama gave him a hard look. "I'll try."

"That's all I ask of you." Charlie answered, smiling with a mouth full of white rice. A few pieces fell out of his mouth. Mama reached over next to her and wiped his mouth off. I actually wish Bella was down here to see this. She would have had the guts to comment. And the brain to actually think of a comment.

"This rice is pretty jammin'." Charlie stated.

"Jamming'?" Mama asked, amused. "Where on Earth have you heard that?"

"Bella." Charlie shrugged. "She uses a lot of different phrases. Some nerdy ones, like jammin, for example."

"That's the funk!" We heard screamed from upstairs. Charlie looked a little surprised. He rolled his brown eyes though, the exact same eyes his daughter had. Mama looked alarmed, until Charlie placed a hand on hers. She calmed instantly. I peered around the dining room wall, still seated. There was Bella, almost half way over our large pristine banister. She was grinning, happily. She winked at me. I blushed.

I won't mind that beauty living here. Especially on the same floor....

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For the love of Tina Turner. What the fuck was this woman trying to do?

Not only had she woke me up at seven o'clock on the dot, on a Saturday morning, but she had also insisted I wear my new school uniform. Test it out, you know? No, Martha God Damn Stewart, I don't know! I look like I should be in The Facts Of Life. Maybe later, Tootie, Natalie and Blair will help Mrs. G and I in the shop! We've been losing money, you know, because Mrs. G gives shit away for free. If Jo was as bad ass as she claimed, how was it that she never once felt the need to tell Tootie to get a new fucking name? Or for Natalie to shut her God damn mouth? And if she hated Blair so much, why didn't she ever verbally tell her exactly how she felt? I mean, I'm sure even Obama has some choice words for Blair Warner.

"Oh, I adore this shop!" Elizabeth chirped, taking me by the hand. She then proceeded to lead me into Christopher & Banks. What the ever living shit was that?

"Oh, Bella, you would look adorable in this!" She told me, a spark in her eyes. It was a skirt. A pencil skirt. A black pencil skirt. A boring, black pencil skirt. Was she a blind woman? That'd explain her closet.

"Yeah. I'd look snappy." I agreed. Elizabeth grinned so widely, I thought her lips might split. When she turned around, I took that as an opportunity to make my escape. I weaved through racks of clothing and business woman on cell phones. I finally made my way out of the store. I sighed and looked around. We had gone to Portland to shop today. Elizabeth took us in her new Mercedes Benz. Said she had a sister who's owed her a favor. When I questioned the no family thing, she explained the term sister. Sister, as in sorority sister. They were in a sorority together some odd years ago, and they still kept in touch. Apparently her and her husband were Red's godparents.

Whoopee. Elizabeth Masen lets hear your life story!

I found a Hot Topic a little while away. I usually didn't have enough money to buy anything, so I skimmed the sales racks. I was looking at pair of jeans when Elizabeth came charging in. She looked horrified.

"Bella, you cannot wear this stuff! This is the Devils store. It makes you look trashy." She whispered, fiercely.

"Jeans are very trashy." I agreed, rolling my eyes.

"Bella, I'm trying to help you. The kids at your school have money-"

"Money? That's it? Money don't intimidate me. Bring it on." I laughed, using bad grammar to bug Elizabeth.

"Money makes the world go round, Bella. Please, remember that." Elizabeth said, pleadingly.

"La la la, I can't hear you!" I sang, covering my ears. "Whats that, Liz? You want me to go buy these jeans?"

Elizabeth sighed as I smiled triumphantly and nearly skipped with glee over to the cashier. It was a college kid, that much was obvious. Or, better yet, a drop out. He stank like weed.

"Your Mom's hot." He told me in a rough voice.

"Your Mom's fuck." I parroted.

He glanced up at me from the register. "That made no sense."

"Your Mom makes no sense." I told him.

"All I said was that your Mom had a bod, little girl. No need to shit that brick." He told me, grinning. "Whats the matter? Jealous?"

"Jealous? Of my Dad's hooker?" I demanded.

"She's really a prostitute?" He asked, pondering. "How much?"

"Your soul." I said, bleakly. I grabbed my bag and stormed back over to Elizabeth. "We gots to go."

"Why?" She asked, a little surprised. She was just about to tell me the same thing.

"Because you're about to get a lot of customers." I told her, leading her out of the store. She looked confused. I thought about telling her, but decided against it. Even Dad wouldn't laugh with me about this one.

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Never in my life, have I ever been so uncomfortable.

Charlie and I had been sitting at the kitchen table for an hour. We had eaten breakfast, chatted a little, I did some studying. What does one do with their Step Dad? I'm sure Bella was having a horrible time right now too. I loved Mama, but she was so difficult. Besides, Bella and Mama were opposites. And in this case, opposites are not attracting.

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Whoever said opposites attract was taking some serious smack, because I'd rather suck a truck before attracting to Elizabeth Masen.

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"So, Edward....kiddo....how's life?" Charlie asked, drawing out kiddo.

"It's alright. How about you?" I asked, politely.

"Pretty good. I just moved in here, so....you know." He shrugged. I knew. But I wish I didn't.

"That's good, I suppose." I muttered, pushing my glasses back up the bridge of my nose.

"Alright, alright. Let's cut the shit." Like daughter, like father.

"What do you mean?" I asked; happily back in my mumbling state.

"I know that you're not the....toughest....kid at your school, and I know Bella is more than capable of taking care of herself. But, all I'm asking is that you try and keep her out of trouble. This is a good opportunity for her. I don't want her screwing her life up like me." Charlie told me, seriously.

"I'll do the best I can." I told him, surprised. "But I don't think you screwed your life up."

"Kid, you have no idea." He told me, softly. "But that's a story for a different awkward afternoon. And trust me, little man, there's going to be many, many more."

"Tell me about it." I mumbled.

Charlie grinned. "Now that the ice has cracked, tell me Edward. Why?"

"Why...?" I trailed off, confused.

"You're a good looking kid. Contacts are cool. Clothes are available. Weights can be lifted. Hell, man, you're even British! Don't women think that's sexy? Why?" He demanded.

"I....I don't know." I stuttered.

Charlie chuckled, heartily. "It's cool, little man. Just think about it."

With that little tid bit of advice, Charlie got up and walked out. I sat there in the wooden kitchen chair, dumbfounded. Did Charlie just tell me I didn't have to be a loser? I shook my head, clearing it. I've always been uncool. I've never really fit in anywhere. I love my piano, but there's no piano club at school. If there was, I'd be the only one in it. And no one wants Nerdward Masen in their study groups. I almost hated admit it, but I was look forward to Bella coming to school with me. She was rough, but people generally liked her. She was humorous, she was gorgeous, she was athletic. She was a good person. She would never admit it, but she was a nice girl. If you gave her the chance. I'd only known Bella for a few days, but let me tell you something.

I was going to like her here.

As I sat there in my chair, smiling like a complete idiot, something hit me. No, not a fist, like I was used to. Charlie....

Charlie had called me little man.

What the heck?

I am somewhat ashamed to say the last time I said what the heck, I was only watching my words because there were small children in the room. I need to work on that. Enjoyable? Or did you feel the intense need to rip your eyes out and throw them away from the screen for protection? Hopefully the first one. Haha. I used the little man thing from my Dad. He always calls my brother little man. And he is most definately not a little man. The song at the top is Thats Not My Name by The Ting Tings. I chose that song because I thought it was good representation for how Bella feels out of place in Liz's world. Because that is most definately not her place and she feels like she's not even in her own world with Liz. Freaky.

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