Dean's knuckles were turning white, as his grip tightened on the steering wheel. He would glance over at her every so often, acting as if he wanted to say something to her. She sighed quietly, waiting for him to say something to her. She wondered how long it would take him to swallow his pride and ask her. She could see the debate going on in his mind, so she spoke up.
"Is there something on your mind Dean? Or do you just enjoy looking at me?" She asked him.
His attention was on her in an instant.
"Excuse me?" He said.
"You look like you want to ask me something, so just ask me." She told him.
He looked like he was torn.
"What was Castiel talking about? What is Sam doing?" Dean asked him.
She studied him closely.
"I would have told you everything that I know is going on with Sam before, but you don't believe what I tell you. There was no point in saying anything, if you weren't going to believe anything that came out of my mouth." She told him.
He frowned.
"What do you know Christa?" He demanded.
"You're not going to like anything that I tell you." She said.
"Just tell me!" He told her.
"Sam has been lying to you. He is using his psychic ability, he is being taught how by Ruby, who is now a brunette. They've been doing things that you'd be appalled at and I've tried talking to him about it, but he won't listen to me. I've tried warning him about what will happen to him, to you, if he listens to her, and follows her. He thinks that I'm making things up, but I swear Dean, I'm telling the truth. It will be bad if he trusts her Dean. I know the outcome of the path he is on, and it leads Sam right to Lucifer's cage. He doesn't want to believe it, so he is ignoring what I tell him. Much like you. You don't want to believe what I'm telling you, so you don't listen to me. All I want to do is help you out, without the effects of the choices you two make." She told him.
He was trying to digest everything that she had just said to him.
"He truly believes that he is helping, but she is manipulating him, and he doesn't see it. He won't ever see it, until it's too late. Lucifer rises because he listens to Ruby, and you have trouble trusting him again. I don't want that for you two, I want to stop Lucifer from rising, and make sure that you guys stop the apocalypse before it starts. You guys have sacrificed so much that you deserve some peace, and serenity. You two deserve happiness, and to retire from hunting to live a good life. You won't have that if things continue on this path, if you guys don't listen to me." She told him.
He turned his attention to the road once more, and drove faster.
"We need to find Sam now." He said coldly.
She bit her lip and sighed. They were stubborn, but were they stubborn enough to not listen to her warnings? If they didn't listen to her, they would do the same things wrong, and end up just like she knew they would. It wasn't going to be pretty, she knew that with every fiber of her being. She didn't want them to go through all of that, if she could possibly stop it.
"Would you have believed me if I had come to you, and told you that Sam was working with Ruby to hone his psychic skills, to pull demons out of their meat suits? Or if I had told you that she would trick him into releasing Lucifer from Hell? If you didn't believe me over trivial stuff, why would I think that you would believe me about something this big?" She asked him.
He looked over at her again. She shook her head.
"I know that you don't believe me Dean. I wish that you did, I really do. Maybe when you finally accept the fact that there are angels, and a God, you'll start believing in me enough to finally listen to what I tell you." She said sadly.
She saw his features soften.
"Christa, I don't believe in God for reasons that you already know. Now, you come in and tell me that you are the answer to everything, all I need to do is believe what you tell me, with no questions. If you really knew me, like you say you do, then you would know that isn't me." He told her.
She smiled sadly.
"I know, and that's why I haven't snapped yet. I know that you don't trust new people very easily. I need to earn that trust before you will listen to me. I'm hoping that by telling you what I know, will help you start trusting me, and start listening to me. I can't change the future until you're on board, so I'll keep trying until you get to that point." She told him.
He studied her for a moment.
"What did you mean when you said that you will be talking to Castiel later?" Dean asked.
She looked out the window, and exhaled loudly.
"I was hoping that Cas could find out information about who I am. He went to find anything that he could, and came back with inadaquit answers. I wasn't through talking with him, and I wanted to let him know that we would be finishing our conversation. I need to know why I know so much about you and Sam. I need to know what the purpose of all of this knowledge is? Am I supposed to do something specific? Why do I know nothing about myself? What is the purpose of this?" She asked, her voice breaking.
She felt his hand on her shoulder. She closed her eyes as a tear rolled down her cheek. She felt so alone and helpless, even with Dean sitting right next to her. The touch was comforting, but only just. She put her hand on top of his, and took a deep, calming, breath.
"It's heartbreaking to know everything that you and Sam have yet to go through. It's not fair, and I want to make it right. If I can give you two a better life, then I have done something that meant something. You've given everything to save the world. It's time something was done for you. I have the knowledge to save you, I need to at least try." She told him, looking over at him.
He gave a slight nod.
"Did he have any answers for you?" He asked her.
She looked up at the ceiling of the car.
"Aparently Cas was told that I'm special, and that I need to be protected from both sides." She said.
"Both sides, as in angels and demons?" He said.
She gave a nod.
"Yeah. He wanted to watch over me every second of the day. I told him that his fellow angels didn't get the orders that I was to be protected, and that they would torture him until he does what they want. So, I told him that you and Sam were the two best hunters out there, and you would protect me while he was out doing his angel duties. He hasn't rebelled yet, and it would be very suspicious if he was spending too much down here on earth, instead of what they were telling him to do. He said that he would be popping in every now and then to make sure that I'm safe." She said.
"You need to be protected? Why?" He asked.
She shrugged.
"Cas wasn't told, and that's why I told him that we still weren't through with our conversation. I need him to find out why." She said.
"Where did he get this information from?" He asked.
"I sent him to ask the angel that God talks to." She told him.
"You know which angel God talks to?" He said.
She gave a nod.
"Yes. Cas was told by this angel that God said I was special." She whispered.
"It sounds like you should be worrying about yourself, instead of us." He told her.
"I have Cas for that. He said that God wanted me protected, so he will be enough for the both of us. I have enough spare energy to worry about saving your stubborn ass." She told him.
He cracked a small smile.
"I have something else you can be doing with my stubborn ass to use up that extra energy." He said, giving her a wink.
She blushed.
"Oh good Lord Dean!" She said.
"That's exactly what you would be yelling." He told her.
She rolled her eyes as her blush deepened.
"Do you think before you speak? Or is the filter broken?" She asked.
"What?" He asked.
She shook her head.
"Nothing, never mind." She muttered, looking out the window.
She closed her eyes, and pressed her forehead against the window. What was she getting herself into? Why was this all happening to her? She had so many questions, and the only certain person that had the answers was nowhere to be found. Hell, she didn't even know if he would give her the truth if he was ever found. What was she doing? Maybe she should just quit, and start a life. No. She needed to know what was going on. It was too important to just let it go. God had declared that she was special. If she was so special, then why couldn't she remember anything about herself? What did the Winchesters and Castiel have to do with her? The answers that Cas had brought back to her, only made her have more questions.
Her head was starting to spin, and she was getting a pressure headache. She pinched the bridge of her nose, and tried to breathe away the pain. He squeezed her shoulder gently. She patted his hand, and looked over at him.
"Try to get a couple good hits in on Ruby for me when you try killing her." She said to him.
His brow furrowed. She chuckled.
"That's right, you want to see it happen first, then you'll acknowledge that I was right." She said, with a teasing smile.
It was his turn to roll his eyes.
"Listen, Christa, I will try to trust you a little more, but until I know for certain, it will be hard. I'm sorry that you are going through all of this, I am, and we will find out whatever we can about you, and your past. I promise." He told her.
She exhaled loudly.
"Thanks Dean." She said.
"Don't mention it." He told her.
She turned and looked out her window.
They were quiet for a while. She could feel his eyes on her at times. She didn't give any indication that she knew that he was looking at her. She was trying to figure things out in her own mind. She was getting nowhere, quickly.
"Are you scared?"
The question came out of nowhere. She looked over at him.
"What?" She asked.
"Are you scared?" He asked again.
She thought for a moment.
"I don't really know. I know that I'm safe, with you, Sam, Bobby, and Cas, looking after me. I'm literally one of the safest people in the world." She told him.
"You don't know if you're scared? Sweetheart, you can't remember who you are. The only things that you do know, is about people that you've never met before a few days ago. No one will judge you, if you are scared. I think we would be more surprised if you didn't feel scared and overwhelmed." He told her.
"I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I have this feeling that I need to save you guys from how everything turns out. I don't know why I have it, but I know that something bad will happen if I don't save you." She told him, her voice breaking.
A tear slid down her cheek, and she quickly wiped it away.
"Sorry, I know how you feel about chick flick moments." She said, with a laugh.
"That's creepy." He told her.
She laughed, and gave a shrug.
"Hey, I know all about you, I can't help it." She said.
He shook his head.
"So, since you know all about me, and you know nothing about yourself, how do I start trusting you?" He asked her.
"Take a leap of faith, even though I know you're the last person on earth that will ever do that. Until you do that, I will be right here, giving you the truth until you finally realize that I'm being honest with you." She told him.
He studied her for a moment, and then gave a small nod.
The pressure in her head was getting worse. She closed her eyes once more, and pressed her head against the window. It helped, even if only slightly.
"Why don't you try to get some sleep? You've got to be exhausted." He said.
"I'll be fine, after I get rid of this pressure in my head." She said.
"It's probably from a lack of sleep. I know that you haven't been sleeping very well. Try to sleep while we're in the car." He told her.
"It couldn't hurt, right?" She said.
"Exactly. Pleasant dreams Christa." He told her.
"If I fall asleep, wake me when we get there please." She said.
It sounded as if she was already half way there.
"Don't worry about it, just get some rest." He told her.
"Whatever." She mumbled.
Within moments, she was out. Dean slid out of his jacket, and covered her with it. She looked so peaceful while she slept. Dean reached over, and tucked her hair behind her ear. He couldn't put his finger on what it was, but she looked different. While she slept, she wasn't worrying about anything, or anyone. She didn't care why she didn't know who she was, she felt safe and comfortable.
He felt something tug at him, as he looked at her. He wanted to trust what she told him, but something was holding him back. Maybe it was what she was telling him, that he didn't want to believe what she said. Why would God do this to her? Everyone wanted him to believe that there was a God, so how could he let this happen to her? It didn't make sense to him at all. How could he be so careless and cruel? Was that who God really was? Why worship him then? Was he really that different than the devil, if that was the case? Was he really any different than the other things that they hunted? Just because he had the title of God, doesn't give him the right to do things like that to anyone else. If he really did create them, he should be the ultimate teacher, mentor, example. He should be held to a stricter standard. Dean shook his head. Now his head was starting to hurt from thinking about all of this.
He tried thinking about something else as he drove, but all trains of thoughts came around to the woman sleeping next to him. God said that she was special. She needed to be protected from both angels and demons. Demons, they had covered, but angels? How the hell were they supposed to keep her safe from the Halo Squad? There was little to no information on angels, and their weaknesses, and they were supposed to keep her safe? How? Did she know more information about angels that she hadn't yet shared with them?
He shook his head. Somehow he was talking himself into believing what she had told him. It was getting harder to deny what she was telling him. He was stubborn though, and he wasn't ready to give in quite yet.
Dean pressed his foot down on the gas and sped toward his brother.
X*X*X
Christa was sitting on a bench, in a park. She watched as children chased one another, and dogs running around. It was a bright, sunny day, and she felt happy. She looked around. She was waiting for someone, or something. She scanned the area.
"Why are you keeping me waiting? I know that angels can go into dreams. You have communicated with Dean that way a few times. You can show up at any moment, I'll be right here waiting. It's not like I have much else to do right now." She called out to no one.
Nothing happened, but that didn't phase her. She waited patiently for him to appear.
She sighed heavily. He was almost as stubborn as the brothers. At least he believed her when she spoke to him, unlike the brothers. They needed to start believing, before it was too late. Sam wouldn't have to go to Hell, if they would only listen to her, and trust her.
"Oh Castiel! I'm waiting!" She sang out, looking up at the sky.
Nothing happened. She wasn't perturbed. She tucked her hair behind her ear, and inhaled deeply, breathing in the sweet air around her.
"Cas, I know that you can hear me. You were told to protect me, and you won't even show up when I call you! It's really rude Cas! What would your father say?!" She called out to him.
She smiled when she heard fluttering behind her. He had finally arrived.
"You call at some of the most inopportune times Christa. Uriel and my superiors are getting suspicious. They question why I am here on earth so much, instead of following orders. Why do you call me down here?" He asked.
She rolled her eyes.
"You know why I want to talk to you Cas. I wan't answers. I want to know what makes me so special? What did I do to become so special? I need to know why I have no memories of anything before I woke up, and met Dean. There's got to be some kind of purpose for all of this, and I need to know what it is. Does he want me to change things or not?" She asked.
Castiel put his hands on her shoulders, and looked deep into her eyes.
"I have no answers for you Christa, I am sorry." He told her.
She sighed, and got to her feet.
"I don't like that answer Cas!" She said.
"That is the only one I have for you." He told her.
She crossed her arms in front of her, and looked up at him.
"I know Cas, I understand. You did great, thank you for your help. Dean asked me if I was scared, and I just finally realized that I am. I am scared out of my mind right now. I have no memories of anything before I woke up on the day that you pull Dean from Hell. There is some reason for this, there has to be. I still want to believe that God still loves us, and that He's still around, working 'behind the scenes', so to speak. Even with everything I know about Him, I choose to believe this. With this all said, Cas, what do I do now, with this knowledge? Do I try to change things, or do I just let them play out? Will you help me Cas? Will you help me change the future?" She asked him.
"Do you hear yourself? Do you realize what you are asking?" He asked her.
She closed her eyes, and inhaled deeply.
"Yes, Cas, I do realize what I'm asking you to do. You're the only one that I can count on right now. Sam and Dean don't trust me enough right now to change anything. You've been told that I'm special, and I need to be protected, wouldn't God want you to help me?" She asked.
Castiel thought about it for a moment, then stared deep into her eyes.
"Cas, please help me." She said to him.
"You need to wake up." He told her.
He put his fingers to her forehead.
Christa woke up. Dean had pulled off of the road. They were parked,and Dean wasn't behind the wheel. Perfect. She frowned, and got out of the Impala. She stretched, and looked around. She realized where they were. She looked over at the building. Dean was nowhere to be seen. That meant that he was inside. Dean had found Sam and Ruby. She winced. It was not going to be fun being around them. She saw Ruby exit the building, carrying a man. In a blink, they were gone.
About five minutes later, Dean stormed out of the abandoned building. Sam was following behind him.
"Get back in the car Christa. We're leaving." Dean told her.
She gave a nod, turned around, and got back into the front seat. She didn't look at Sam. She had warned him this was going to happen, and it could have been avoided, but Sam just didn't want to listen to her. Dean got in behind the wheel. She stared at her hands.
"I'm sorry Dean. I warned him, but he wouldn't listen." She whispered.
Dean didn't say anything, he just waited for Sam to get into the car. Sam got in, and Dean headed for a motel.
X*X*X
Christa was taking a shower. She quickly washed and got out. She dried, and dressed. She ran the comb through her hair, and exited the room to find Dean punching Sam. She frowned, but didn't interfere. She sat down on the bed, quietly waiting for them to stop. They began arguing about Sam pulling demons out of humans with his powers. Dean wanted to know if Sam had any other powers. Sam said that he had nothing else. Dean looked over at Christa. In an instant she knew what he was going to do. She narrowed her eyes at him, and frowned.
"Maybe we should ask Christa. She's been telling us how she wants us to trust her. So, tell us Christa, what do you know?" Dean asked.
"Dean, don't bring her into the middle of this. This is between you and me, it has nothing to do with her." Sam said.
Christa continued to watch them go back and forth. She tried tuning them out. It worked for the most part, until Dean violently cleaned the top of the dresser off. She jumped in surprise.
"It's already too far Sam! If I didn't know you I would want to hunt you!" Dean yelled at Sam.
She frowned, and stood up.
She walked over to the door, and left them alone. She didn't want to hear any more of it right now. She walked over to the car, and sat on the trunk of the Impala. She put her chin on her hands, and waited for one of them to come outside to get her.
She thought about calling Cas, but before she could decide, Sam had come out, with her things. She looked up at him, and got off of the car.
"We got a call from a friend of ours." Sam told her.
She nodded.
"Yes, Travis, I know, he's found a Rougarou-to-be. He needs your help." She told him.
That had stopped him in his tracks. He looked at her, stunned.
"That's correct." He said.
She nodded.
"Of course. I told you that I know everything. The past, the present and the future. Everything that will happen, I know." She told him quietly.
He stared at her.
"That's still creepy." Dean said, poking his head out from behind Sam.
She blushed, and smiled.
"Thank you for that colorful update Dean. I don't think it got through the first time. I'm sure this won't be the last time you say that when I'm around. So, we're going?" She asked.
"Yes." Dean said.
She gave a nod, and got into the front of the car. Sam looked at her in surprise.
"Get in the back." Sam told her.
She shook her head, and put the seat belt on.
"You're new here, but I ride in front." Sam told her.
She looked at him as Dean got behind the wheel.
"No. You do not deserve to sit up here. I told you this would happen, but you just couldn't listen to me! You are sitting in the back." She snapped at him.
She grabbed the door, and slammed it shut. She exhaled loudly, and then felt Dean's eyes on her. She looked over at him. She raised her eyebrows.
"What? I told him to tell you, but he didn't and this is what he gets." She said.
He shook his head.
"Creepy." He muttered.
She sighed, as Sam got into the back of the Impala. Dean started the car up, and they headed for Travis.
X*X*X
They had gotten a motel room. They dropped Christa, and their things off, telling her not to open the door for anyone. She rolled her eyes.
"I will be fine. Remember, I know what's coming. Besides, if I'm in trouble, Cas will help me." She said.
"I don't know if I like that so much. If God said that you needed to be protected from both angels and demons, why aren't you worried about Cas?" Dean asked her.
"God told Cas to protect me. Even if he hadn't asked Cas to protect me, I would trust him. I know that he will die for me, if needed, to protect me, because God asked him to." She told him.
Dean shook his head.
"Right, I forgot." Dean muttered.
She rolled her eyes, and gave a wave. Dean left. She laid down on the bed. She didn't get to relax for long, because Castiel showed up. She heard wings, and knew exactly who was there. She stood up once more.
"What a surprise. After last time, I didn't think you'd be by so soon." She told him.
"Tell me what you know." He told her.
She raised her eyebrows in surprise.
"Excuse me?" She said.
He grabbed her arm, and looked around.
"We need to go, there is someone coming." Castiel said.
Before she could say anything, he teleported her away. She stumbled slightly when they landed. Castiel steadied her.
"You really need to warn me when you do that." She told him.
He just looked at her. She rolled her eyes.
"So, what do you want to know about?" She asked him.
He thought for a moment.
"What are the angels hiding?" He asked.
She gave him a sad, but comforting, smile.
"Do you finally believe me?" She asked.
"Tell me Christa." He said..
"Zachariah wants Lucifer to rise. He doesn't want the brothers to stop the apocolypse. Uriel wants to rebel much like Lucifer did. If you tell Uriel no, he will try to kill you." She told him.
"How did it get so out of control?" Cas asked.
She put her hand on his shoulder.
"God left. Someone had to lead. Michael and Raphael stepped up, and did that. They are going on God's plan, at the beginning, which was for the apocalypse to happen. They don't want to stop any of it from happening. When it is averted, Raphael tries setting it off again. The brothers will stop it from happening though. With my help, we can stop it before it even starts." She told him.
"God speaks directly to Joshua. Joshua said that God wanted me to protect you, that you were very special, that you could help me in more ways that I realize. You are asking me to rebel against Heaven, against the one that wants me to protect you. Please, tell me what I am supposed to do here?" He demanded.
She smiled at him.
"First, calm down. You are not rebelling against God, okay? I know with every fiber of my being that you love your father. You are choosing to do the right thing. The apocalypse isn't right Cas. The brothers will fight until they die to prevent the end from happening. They will save the earth for humankind to survive. God is very proud of you, for how you help them save the earth, even though you had to go against your brothers." She whispered to him.
"What do I do?" He asked her.
"Anything you want." She said.
"I must protect you though. God has asked it of me." Cas said.
She laughed.
"Yeah, I figured that wouldn't be coming off your to-do-list quite yet. How about you bring me back to the brothers, and you should go back to Heaven to find out whatever you can that would help the brothers." She told him.
He gave a nod. In a blink, she was standing next to the Impala. Sam and Dean were standing, facing each other. Sam was very upset. He was feeling guilty, about lying to Dean. They both saw her, when they were heading back to the car. She waved and smiled at them.
"Where the hell have you been?" Dean demanded.
"Cas had to talk to me, and he didn't feel like the room was safe enough." She said.
"I told you not to answer the door for anyone." Dean said.
"I didn't answer the door Dean. He never uses a door! He's an angel, he popped in, grabbed my arm, and popped me out of there." She told him.
He grumbled something, but she didn't quite catch what he had said. They were on their way to find Jack, the monster that they were on the case about. She happily sat in the car while they went in to talk to the man. The an didn't believe what they said, and threatened them with the cops, if they ever were to return. The boys followed him. Night had fallen, and they had almost caught him, but he had escape. Christa told them to try his house once more. They found Trevor's car sitting out front. Christa knew that she was staying in the car, she didn't need Dean to tell her. Sam and Dean ran inside.
She felt lonely. She had no one. The only person to believe her, was in Heaven. She rubbed her hands over her face and felt a presence beside her. She looked over.
"Cas, what are you doing here?" She asked him.
"I felt your call." He told her.
"I never called for you Cas." She told him.
"I felt it. I came as soon as I could." He said.
She frowned.
"Right. I don't know what you are talking about, but whatever. The brothers are inside, trying to contain the rugaroo. I'm being good, and waiting for them to return." She said.
Cas gave a nod.
"Cas? Do you think that I'll ever remember any of my past?" She asked.
He frowned.
"I do not know Christa. I hope that you do, but I don't have your answer to that question. I am sorry." He told her.
She gave a nod.
"It's fine Cas. You should get bak to Heaven, you're probably needed for something. The boys will be done in a few minutes. Thank you Cas." She said.
He gave a nod, and popped away. She shook her head, and looked at the house the boys went into. The living room window,behind the shade, lit up. The boys would be on their way out at any moment.
Moments later, they had returned to the Impala. Dean gave her a nod, before taking off. She stared out of the window, lost in her own thoughts. She paid no attention to the brothers conversation from the front. She was lost in her own thoughts until she dozed off, with her head against the window.
Author's note:
Once again, thank you for your review. I am so grateful that you like what I put out there, and that you enjoy it enough to tell me what you think about it.
I hoped it was up to par.
The saga continues!