CHAPTER FOUR
BACK TO THE BUTTHOLE
BANGARANG.
"SSSSSSSSCCCCCHEIßE!" said Uncle Vernon.
Mr. Weasley, Fred, George, and Ron burst out of the fireplace.
"You break, you pay," panted Uncle Vernon.
"Fuck your fireplace nigga," said Mr. Weasley.
"We're kidnapping your unappreciative ass," said Mr. Weasley.
"My trunk's upstairs," said Harry.
"Get it your fucking self," said Fred.
Harry dropped a Knut.
"I got you," said Fred.
The living room was fucked up.
"Late … fags," Harry said.
The Dursleys didn't say shit.
"Didn't you hear Harry say good-bye to you fags?" Mr. Weasley said.
Uncle Vernon said, "I don't care."
"I love it," said Harry.
"Oh fuck," said Fred.
Fred had spilled a bag of brightly colored Smarties holding Harry's junk — in his trunk.
Mr. Weasley threw Floo powder into the flames in the fireplace.
Dudley sneezed and ran around the room in circles. Dudley hit the floor — a wrapper lay before him.
Aunt Petunia gave Dudley CPR.
"It was, the Smarties!" said Mr. Weasley. "Fred — real piece of shit — it's molly and coke — at least, I think threw cocaine — instead of Floo powder —"
"Call 999!" said Uncle Vernon.
"I forgot how to use a telephone!" Mr. Weasley.
"See ya," said Harry.