AN: I want to thank everyone who reviewed, first of all. Your feedback makes me write, and it's inspiring to see people out there who care about what I have to say. I'm going to go out there and say, though, that I would totally love each and every one of you forever if you all wrote a review. Just a few seconds of your time really means a lot to me!

Anyway, I spent all night writing this. I found it hard because I just don't know how to write about the Cullens. I'm a rez girl, what can I say? Hope you enjoy!

Always,

Rachel


There were times in the recent past when I would think about all that's happened and wonder what life would be like if I had never moved to Forks. Sometimes it's intriguing to think that if I would have never moved here, I would be just any other normal teenage girl. The idea made me want to laugh; normalcy was so foreign in my life. I knew I was put in this place because I could never be like any one else. I had to be thrown in to problems, and cause them as well.

Right now, I was on my way to the Cullens. It was hard to drive.

No, tears weren't pouring from my eyes, I was actually kind of numb. Like before, after Edward left me, and after I had woken up from the months of being completely unaware of anything. I couldn't concentrate because I had no idea what I was going to say to Edward. "Oh hey Edward, here's your ring back. I'm just going to say bye to you now, then go back on the reservation and live happily ever after with your mortal enemies. Thanks for everything!"

Yeah. That would fly over well.

Trees were whizzing by all too fast, and I was quickly approaching their house. My palms were slick with sweat, and my grip on the steering wheel slackened. I breathed in the stagnant air of the Porsche and tried to stop my hands from shaking. But I knew that whatever I did at this point wouldn't help me at all; freaking out was inevitable.

On my right, I located the small clearing in the trees that was their driveway, and I pulled through it. Their massive white house came into view and I tried to swallow the lump that was forming in my throat. I knew they all heard me as I drove up, but no one appeared. This somehow worried me more.

I parked in front of their house, turning the ignition off and sitting there; too much of a coward to get it done with. It was kind of an out of body experience. I felt as though I wasn't attached to my body, like saying good bye to Edward was something I would never, ever do. At one point in my life, this was true. There was a time when the thought of leaving him was unthinkable. When I was too young to see that there was more to life than living forever.

I heavily climbed out of the Porsche and locked it behind me, walking up the path to their front door. I climbed the steps slowly, like I was walking towards the end of all that was good. I raised my hand up to knock, but the door whipped open before my hand could even swing forward. Alice appeared in front of me in her usual cheerful manner. I was comforted a little by the fact that she didn't appear to be angry at me.

"Bella!" She exclaimed, rushing forward and capturing me into a hug. Her cold hands found their way around me, and I tried not to recoil from their touch.

"Hey Alice", I said quietly, trying make my voice as cheerful as possible. But even I could detect the sadness that seeped out.

It hit me now, how much I was giving up to be human. Every one of the Cullens would be missed just as much as Edward, they were a family to me, and I was about to tell them goodbye. I couldn't think about it, about saying goodbye to them. It was like saying good bye to your mother, or sister. Something absurd, something you'd never have to do. I felt my eyes water, and I bit my lip down to try to hide the cry that was about to escape my lips.

"Bella are you alright?" Her voice was laced with genuine concern, and that only made me feel sicker. I couldn't even bear to stand here and talk. Not when I knew what I was about to do to all of them, and Edward. I didn't want to face them longer than I had to.

"Can I talk to Edward?" My voice was shaky now, quiet and unsure. I continued to look down simply because I knew my eyes would say everything I didn't want Alice to know.

Before either of us could say anything, Edward appeared beside her. I looked up, trying to be as stoic as possible, and saw his golden eyes shaped into worry.

I held his eyes to mine, and didn't want to hurt him by looking away. I stared into their intensity, so much that I saw nothing. "Can we talk?"

My voice sounded like it belonged to someone else, it was stronger this time.

I heard his lithe footsteps descend the stairs, and his frozen hand weaved it's way through my fingers. The cold was unpleasant now, I yearned for the rough, warm hand that had captured mine lately. We walked to the edge of the forest before we passed the small river by a clearing. I found this whole situation ironic. I remembered him leaving not so long ago, and it hurt to think that I would be doing the same thing to him. No one deserved to be hurt like that, I knew this more than anyone. I knew exactly how much it affected you, broke you into pieces. Too soon, we stopped, and he let my hand go so he could face me.

When he didn't say anything, I spoke up. My feet were kicking idly at the snow, finding some distraction when there was nothing but vast silence between us. I looked up, simply because I knew he deserved to be looked in the eye when I broke his heart.

"Edward, I'm going to stay human." My voice echoed through the forest, emphasizing.

Time stood still, it went on forever and yet not at all. He nodded slowly, looking at nothing in the distance. His voice seemed colder, harder, broken. "Without me."

It wasn't a question.

I swallowed the lump in my throat thickly before I spoke as clear as I could, "Yes."

I looked into his eyes again, seeing their broad horizons of truth, honesty, devotion. Without saying a word, he could tell me just how much this was breaking him. He didn't want to make this harder for me, but this was a death sentence for him. I could see it, as clear as day in his golden-flecked eyes. There was a hint of longing in their depths, like he wished he could be human with me. This hurt me more because, in a way, I wished he could too. It would be simple, but it was a path that would never, ever exist. We were from two different wolds, incompatible with each other. He knew that, I knew that; but it was hard to let go.

I saw him visibly swallow and shake his head ever so slightly, in denial. In a whisper, he said, "What went wrong?"

This caught me off guard completely, it seemed like he was blaming himself. Like the reason I was leaving him was because of something he did. I didn't understand this at all, he knew as well as I did that this was a personal decision.

I shook my head quickly, raising my voice a little. "Nothing went wrong, I just finally decided what I wanted."

At first, he didn't do or say anything. He was still, truly as a vampire, and I wondered if he had heard me at all. Then he stepped forward, wrapping me in his arms and pressing his cold, frozen lips to me forehead for the last time. His lips stayed there for a moment, before he pulled away and looked me in the eyes. They were full of sadness and despair and I found myself getting lost in them. I began to question leaving him at all, questioning humanity and immortality and love.

Out of nowhere, Jacob's voice echoed in my head. "Don't forget this, Bella."

I forced my eyes closed for a second before opening them wide again. Instead of Edward's endless pools of golden, I imagined Jacob's pools of onyx beauty. I imagined his smile and his carefree laugh. La Push's warm bonfires on the beach with the friendly people that were my family. I imagined the sun, hitting me with it's rays that felt so much like Jacob's skin. I heard my heart, just as I heard Jacob's. We were human together, and there was nothing more in this world that I wanted. I smiled slightly, finding the strength within me to let Edward go.

His eyes followed my lips curving into a smile and before I could protest, he came forward and pressed his stone lips to mine. It seemed so foreign now, kissing him. There was no movement or life at all. His arms came around me, savoring this moment because it was our last. He continued to kiss me for a few seconds, trying to change my mind, but with no avail. He knew it was over, he was just trying to win a losing battle.

He stepped away then, looking at me one last time. He seemed truly dead now, there was no light in his features at all. I wondered what this would do to him, and I hoped he wouldn't do anything drastic. But I didn't want to think about it. I knew that I needed to focus on my future and let whatever would happen, happen. It was a sad moment, but it was something that I couldn't bring myself to change.

Without a word, I slipped off the beautiful wedding ring that sat on my finger like a rock. Time went slowly, like this was tangible proof that I was saying goodbye. If it didn't feel real before, this is what made it reality. Like erasing the path of immortality altogether, I let the ring drop into the palm of Edward's hand. He closed his hand around it so tightly that I was sure the ring had been crumbled to dust. He opened his palm and turned it over, letting the remains of the ring float to the ground like microscopic pieces of fairy dust. Over everything else I had experienced, this was what broke my heart more than anything before. Seeing Edward crush the ring was a sign of him giving up on love forever. This wasn't what I wanted, but I couldn't find my voice to say anything. If I opened my mouth, he might find the stand of vulnerability that cause me to give up everything I had recently fought for.

"I'll always love you Bella." He let out an unsteady breath, as if he found it hard to breathe. "Be careful."

My voice was so quiet that, even though he was a vampire, I wasn't sure he heard it. "You'll always have a piece of my heart."

His crooked smile was so sad that it was unfathomable.

And just like that, with a rush of the wind and the rustle of the leaves, he was gone. There was no trace of him ever existing except for the piece of my heart he held and took with him as he disappeared into the forest. He was gone, presumably forever, and for a second I thought about chasing after him, just as I did all that time ago. But this time I knew that I had to stay strong and move on. I had a life to live now, I owed it to myself and to everyone I loved. In the end, this is what was destined to happen. I was confident in the fact that this was not a mistake. For if there was any trace of uncertainty, my will would falter, and I would end up saying goodbye to the only life I had ever known. I turned my back, walking away from my past love, my past life altogether. Looking up at the tree-covered sky, I blinked away the only tear that would be weak enough to fall.

AN: Love it? Hate it? Let me know! I'll write and post the next chapter when I get 60 reviews!