wow, it's been a while since I last updated. Sorry about that guys! I hope you like this one; savor it cuz there won't be more for a while. DMJ

Chapter 4: Loose Lips Sink Ships

Unfortunately Pratt was wrong. Not even twenty minutes had passed before Morris found Carter and said, "So I heard you were chopped up by a schizo."

Before Morris had barged in, Carter had been enjoying the quiet suture room as he worked on an unconscious patient's head lac. Morris was known to say stupid things, but still Carter could not believe what he had just heard.

"What did you say?" he asked baffled. He heard his voice crack with sadness.

"You know, the attack four years ago. Abby didn't give many details-."

"Abby told you about it!"

His mind was racing and he barely heard Morris ask, "Hey what did the knife feel like jabbing into you?"

He was on his way out when the question registered. Carter responded, "You are unbelievable, you frickin' weasel." And he began his quest to hunt down Abby. After looking in every room she was assigned to, Carter's rage was increasing. Where the hell was she? Finally he found her talking to Chuny in the drug lockup.

He tried to stay calm, although he felt like steam was shooting out of him ears. "Abby, can I speak with you?"

"Yeah, but can it wait like ten minutes?" She was looking for something on the top shelf.

"No. Now," he sternly demanded.

Abby and Chuny exchanged glances before Abby said to her, "Keep and eye on Mrs. Williams until I get back, please." She followed Carter, who marched quickly into the lounge. He didn't seem to notice Luka reading on the sofa, but Abby saw him there.

Before Carter said a word, Abby said, "I know what this is about but I was only trying to help-."

"I don't need you to help me anymore Abby! You want to know what Morris just asked me? He asked what it felt like when the knife jabbed into my back!"

"They were about to ask you about the scars-."

"Wait, what? They who?" The rage subsided.

"Morris and Pratt. Pratt told Morris about the scars he saw and he figured you were mugged. They were about to ask you about it so I told them instead because I didn't want you to have to remember."

"Did you tell them about the drugs?" He needed to know.

But Abby hadn't heard. "I just wanted to protect you."

"Did you tell them about the drugs!" he shouted just loud enough to scare her, and make Luka jump, but not loud enough to pass the lounge.

Please let her say no, Carter thought.

"No," she responded, "Why would I?"

"Why tell them anything at all?"

"I told you already. So they wouldn't ask."

"Mind your own damn business from now on Abby." He glared at her with cold eyes.

"You're not the same anymore, Carter. Get some help," and she left the lounge.

"She's right," Luka said, startling Carter. How long has he been there?

Luka continued, "You're not the same."

"Yeah, well, people change," was Carter's response. He sat down next to Luka.

"I think there's more to it than that."

"Listen, I don't need you lecturing me now."

"Have you been getting enough rest?"

This question threw Carter, "What? Yeah, I guess."

"When are you off?"

"Um, six. Why?"

"We should get a drink later and talk."

"No thanks. I'm not much of a drinker."

"That's not what I've heard."

Carter looked at Luka and said, "That was only one time." Hopefully Abby hadn't told him about the night at the mansion. "I don't know what Abby's told you-."

"Carter, we're just worried about you-."

"Don't worry. There's nothing to worry about. I'm fine."

"You've said that before. If it happens again, your career is gone-."

"I don't have time for this." And Carter got up and left Luka alone.

Things seemed to calm down as the day went on. At one point, a few hours later, Carter pulled Abby aside to apologize for his behavior and assure her he was fine. "I understand why you're worried, but you really don't have to be. I'm finally sorting everything out."

"Okay," she replied, "but you know I'm here if you ever need to talk."

"Yeah, thanks," and they both went back to their patients.

But then something ruined the peaceful afternoon. While Abby was working up some more charts at the admit desk, Pratt came up nest to her and said, "Can I ask you one more question about Carter?"

"You can ask, but I might not answer."

"What don't you and Weaver want to happen again?"

Abby looked up from her charts and, playing dumb, said, "Huh?"

"You know what I'm talking about. What did Carter do before?"

Abby sighed and said, "No. Last time I told you guys anything, Morris told Carter and his head nearly exploded."

"I know and Morris had no right to say what he did. After what you said happened, I understood why Carter acted the way he did during my exam on him. But I really want to help you guys and Carter if I can."

For some reason Abby felt she could trust Pratt. Plus, he'd be one more pair of eyes watching Carter.

She looked around to see who was in the area. There was no one she had to worry about. Abby sighed and started her story. "After Lucy died Carter was in a lot of pain and needed a lot of physical therapy. His back has never been the same. Anyway, Carter blamed himself for what happened to them . . . for Lucy's death."

"Why?"

Abby kept one eye watching for Carter to appear as she explained, "He thought, probably still thinks, that if he had been helping Lucy more, something might have been different. The therapy wasn't helping him. The physical pain was horrible but the emotional pain was unbearable. He had been taking pain meds for his back, but continued to take them to help him forget. And as a result he got addicted. I caught him injecting fentanyl into his wrist. He went to rehab, got clean, and came back. He's been clean for four years."

Pratt's mind was racing. That's why he didn't want the script at first. He was afraid he'd get caught. All he could say to Abby was, "He's been through more than I thought," and thought to himself, Shit, shit, shit. Carter's a drug addict and I gave him drugs!

"Yeah," Abby continued, "and because of what just happened with his family and how he's been acting we're all on high alert. This is how he acted last time."

"But Carter just doesn't seem like the type of person that this would happen to."

"We thought that too. I was a new med student when I found him. Trust me, nobody wanted to believe it; and when they gave him an intervention he quit and ran out. But his former teacher, Peter Benton, went after him. Doing that probably saved his life."

They were silent for a couple minutes. Then Pratt decided he had to tell her. "I have a confession. I wish it wasn't true but-."

"Goodnight guys," Carter. He came out of nowhere. Pratt didn't know if this would make things better or worse, but he had to do it.

As Carter walked past them Pratt asked, "Hey Carter, how'd the script work out?"

Carter, of course, knew exactly what he was talking about but sill he played dumb. "Which patient?"

In a quiet accusing voice Pratt continued, "For you. Remember the Vicodin for your back?"

Carter was speechless. His eyes went from Abby to Pratt back to Abby. And then he fled. Without saying a word Carter walked out the ambulance bay doors. Behind him he heard Abby shouting, "Carter get your ass back in here!"

And then he saw Weaver. She must have been just starting her shift. He looked back and saw Abby and Pratt coming up behind him.

I'm trapped.

I can't remember

The last time you cared about anything

The last time you allowed yourself to be seen

so pretentious your lies unrelenting disguise

Creating tears in your eyes your mind withers and dies

pretending to be something you are not

somewhere in the middle you are now caught

You've never seen who you really are

No life breathes in you

All the time you laugh you wait you cry

No part of your life is true

All the time your life passes you by

I don't ever want to see I don't ever want to be like you, Hollow Man

I don't care what you give

Hollow man you can't live like this

Your voice is just a whisper

You call upon your blank thoughts as you try

To fit in where you missed her

You missed the chance to stop living a lie

Hollow Man lyrics by Trapt