Hi all, I'm writing this all out of order, but this scene was calling to me. Apologies for my disorganization! I changed the summary accordingly.


Feel free to let me know if there are other scenes you'd like to read.

Part 4 (which really should be part 1)

I pulled up to the Swan house, parking in front, and waited for Bella's pickup to appear. I really couldn't prolong the inevitable any longer. It was killing me to even think about what I was about to do, but there was no other option. Having me so near was only putting Bella's life in jeopardy. I couldn't have that. If anything happened to her, because of me, I would never forgive myself.

Finally, I caught sight of her orange pickup. As Bella got out, I took her book bag, and placed it onto the seat behind her. I noticed Bella frowning, obviously noticing a difference in the usual routine. She'd always been perceptive.

"Come for a walk with me." I said, keeping my voice neutral. If my plan was to work, I had to lie convincingly. I doubted Bella would believe it, she would see right through me.

I took her hand in mine, taking her towards the forest. I had originally intended to take her to our meadow, but abandoned that plan. For one thing, it would be too dangerous to leave her there alone. For another, I didn't want to taint that area with the memory I was about to give her. So, I stopped, right at the edge of the clearing.

Bella looked up at me, warily. She knew something was off. I leaned back against a tree, and simply looked at her. She didn't know it, but I was trying to drink her in, so to speak. My memory was faultless, I didn't need to memorize her face, it was her spirit I was trying to commit to memory.

"Okay, let's talk." Bella said to me, somewhat shakily.

I took a deep, unnecessary, breath, steeling myself for what was to come. Would I be able to see it through?

"Bella, we're leaving." I managed to say.

Strangely, Bella didn't look outraged. She seemed confused. Then I realized, she thought I meant we, as in the both of us.

"Why now? Another year---"

"Bella, it's time. How much longer could we stay in Forks, after all? Carlisle can barely pass for thirty, and he's claiming thirty-three now. We'd have to start over soon, regardless."

I watched for her reaction carefully. Her bewilderment was apparent. She searched my face for an answer. Whatever she saw made the blood drain from her cheeks.

"When you say we," She whispered.

"I mean my family and myself." I had to make sure she understood, though I hated myself for the pain I was inflicting on her.

Bella shook her head, as if by doing so she could deny what was happening.

"Okay, I'll come with you." She told me.

I grit my teeth, she was making this harder.

"You can't, Bella. Where we're going…It's not the right place for you."

"Where you are is the right place for me."

At this, I cringed, wanting so badly to take her in my arms, and never let her go. Silently, I cursed this world we were living in. What kind of cruel fate would have us, a human, and a vampire, fall in love? When it was an impossible thing?

I had to think about what was best for Bella. And it wasn't me.

"I'm no good for you, Bella." This I could say with sincerity.

"Don't be ridiculous. You're the very best part of my life." Bella was vociferous.

"My world is not for you." I kept on, my heart breaking at her words.

We argued about Jasper and broken promises. I wished she could see that the only reason I would break a promise was to protect her. I tried to make her see it would be best for her, for the sake of her soul.

"…I don't care! You can have my soul. I don't want it without you – it's yours already!" Bella was shouting at me.

It was so very tempting. I wanted it, God help me, I wanted her soul, if it meant she would be with me forever. I just couldn't do that to her. I was already damned, Bella still had her soul intact. I wouldn't destroy it, it would be too selfish. I kept my gaze down, on the ground, not trusting myself to be strong enough to leave, if I looked at her now. Once I felt I was in control, I finally raised my head. I forced my mouth to move, and shape the words that would break us both.

"Bella, I don't want you to come with me."

She looked as if I had slapped her. Her eyes widened, her mouth moved, silently repeating my words. Her already pale skin, whitened even more. I saw, plainly, that she believed me. How could she think I spoke the truth? Didn't she know that, without her, my life had no meaning? She was my entire world, but she didn't seem to know it.

If I was still capable of tears, I would've been fighting them back now.

"You…don't…want me?" She choked out.

"No." It was the most difficult thing I'd ever had to say. In a way, I was fortunate to be a vampire. It gave me complete control over my facial expressions.

"Well, that changes things." Bella said.

What did she mean by that? The fact that her mind was closed off to me had always caused me frustration. It was heightened even more now. Though, it was probably just as well I couldn't read her. Hearing her, would possibly crumble my resolve to leave her.

I continued on with some nonsense about being tired of pretending to be human. If I could've changed back for her, I would've done it. No matter what price I had to pay.

"Don't," Bella whispered. "Don't do this." Her pain was apparent in every word.

For a moment, as I looked into her pleading brown eyes, I thought she had won. I wasn't strong enough to leave her, I loved her too much. Alice was right. Then I thought about Jasper, and the other James' we might encounter. It was too much to ask of her. I would only bring about her premature death. The idea was unacceptable.

"You're not good for me, Bella." I finally said.

Bella blinked, as she digested my words. Why was it so easy for her to believe I wouldn't want her? Apparently, I was too good of a liar. One human skill that I mastered well, I thought to myself, bitterly. Yet, her lack of faith in me, was crushing.

I loved her more than I thought it possible to love anyone. I would do anything to keep her safe. And that included removing myself from her life.

I had to see this through.

A/N: I'm planning on writing the rest of this scene (rest of their conversation up until Edward leaves) as well. I wanted to post this up first. I love reviews, please feel free to leave one!