The reviews, I thank thee for them! It pleases me greatly for I am but a shallow being seeking adulation.

Re: the comments/questions in the reviews:
This is no great, long, sweeping, continuous story so some details will be omitted. It'll be up to you to fill in missing details however you wish. Like that particular mission referenced in the previous stories.
Now, I tend to switch between perspectives quite often. Within the same story no less! But I seem to lean more toward Gray's perspective. For some reason, it's easier for me to write in his perspective. There will be stuff from Erza's perspective, of course. But if the question is whether we get Erza's perspective in concurrence with Gray's (like say, a separate entry into what she was up to while Gray and Loke were having their pow-wow,) that would be a no. I won't be rehashing stories already posted.

Now, onward!

I don't remember how this idea came about but it was kind of hilarious because both Erza and Gray are doofy in it and I hope you enjoy it. And, oh look, it's (currently) the longest entry yet.

And oh my goodness! Did you notice? I gave the damn thing a title! I picked a few words out of a hat and voila! It worked!

Oh, and, uh, rated for mature content. Totally forgot.

Also, I always forget to do this: disclaimer: I don't own the characters or the Fairy Tail world, I just play in its sandbox. I merely 'own' the depraved ideas bouncing in my head.

Gray was about to to drop off to dream land when he heard his door knob rattle. Sleepily, he dragged himself out of bed and without a second thought to his safety, swung the door open to reveal Erza trying to pick his lock.

He squinted and shielded his eyes from the bright moonlight. "Erza? What are you doing? Do you know what time it is?"
She pouted glumly, "I couldn't sleep."
He looked over her confusedly, "you couldn't sleep so you show up at my doorstep in the middle of the night wearing a... bunny costume?"
She looked at her outfit and groaned, "this is not what I intended to wear. And it's not a costume!" She rubbed her arms and asked, "can I come in? It's kind of cold."
Snapping out of his sleepy daze, he pulled her in from the cold.

He led her to his couch and draped a blanket over her shivering form. "Now, you wanna explain...this?" He gestured inarticulately at her bundled form.
"I just really couldn't sleep. I kept tossing and turning."
"Nightmares?" He asked concerned but she shook her head. "No." She kept fidgeting. She just couldn't seem to sit still; pulling her legs underneath her and then unfolding them again. "I just...couldn't sleep."
Suddenly, her hand shot out from under the blanket and clutched at him, "Mira!" She growled.
"What about her?"
"I was drinking with her! She must have spiked my drink!"
Gray looked skeptical, "why would Mira do that? You two haven't feuded in... I've lost track of how many years. And even if you were still feuding, it doesn't sound like something she'd do."
He was right and she never really thought Mira had anything to do with her current state in the first place. She knew she was grasping for straws.

"What exactly were you drinking?"
She threw her arms up, "tea!" She grinned sheepishly, "oh. That's probably why. Stupid caffeine."
"Okay, so we know why you can't sleep... Do we know why you're in the bunny suit?"
"Don't call it a bunny suit! You make it sound like Ichiya's cat."
He smirked, "he's an exceed. And his name is Nichiya."

She snuggled further into the blanket. "Whatever. I was in bed trying to sleep. But I kept tossing and turning. And I couldn't think of anywhere else to go so I thought maybe you'd still be awake." Suddendly, she became distressed and frowned, "but for some reason, I couldn't requip properly. I was trying to requip into my regular clothes..." She spread open the blanket and whined. "But just look at me! This is not the outfit I wanted to summon!"
He smothered his smirk. "Why do you even have that ridiculous costume in your armory anyway?"
Her frown deepened, "do you really think it's ridiculous? Men seem to like it just fine."
He snorted in amusement, "yeah, I bet. I suppose I get the appeal. I mean, it's, uh, quite...revealing."
"But?"
"But, you have a giant cotton ball on your ass. And I generally don't find small, fuzzy balls of fur to be particularly sexy." He said matter-of-factly.

A look of disgust crossed her face.

"When you put it that way..." She shuddered and declared, "that's it. I'm taking this out of rotation. The cat one too."
He chortled, "there's a cat one? Good grief."
"Maybe I'll burn them."

His laughter stopped short when he remembered what she said about her troubles with her magic. He rubbed his forehead anxiously, "uh... Erza? About the tea... What kind of tea was it exactly?"
Her nose scrunched up in concentration. "I'm... not sure. Mira found it in a blue box behind the bar."
He closed his eyes in dismay. "Was this...tea kind of yellowy, maybe brownish?"
"Yes. Why?"

He got up and started pacing. "That wasn't tea, Erza! Well, it was. But it was also laced with wolfsbane!" He took a deep breath and explained, "Wolfsbane impairs one's magical abilities. That's why you're having trouble requipping. I confiscated it from the thieves I was tracking on this last job I just got back from. They were using it on wizards in order to get them impaired enough to rob them. I was going to turn it in to Master Makarov in the morning." He took a shaky breath. "Just how much did you drink?"
She suddenly felt really, really sick and clutched at her stomach. "Too much." Her face soured further. "I don't feel too good..."

Gray turned toward the kitchen and filled up a glass of water. Handing her the glass he instructed her to drink. "We need to cleanse it out of your system." He pulled another glass out and filled it with more water. Shoving the second glass into her hands, she asked, "how much do I have to drink?"
"Until it's out of your system and you're back to normal. Or at least normal-ish."
"Normal-ish?" Her voice shrill with panic. "How long do the effects usually last?"
"Maybe three, four days? It really depends how much you ingested. But I'm hoping the water will flush it out and you'll recover faster. So just keep drinking."

After the fourth glass of water, she felt the pressure in her bladder building. "I need to pee."
"Good." He went to his bedroom and fetched some clothes for her. "Here. Go pee and change into this. You can stay here tonight."
"That is not necessary. I can walk back to the dorm."
"It's too late and too dark. And with your magic on the fritz, I don't feel comfortable letting you go alone. And I don't feel like putting on clothes so I can walk you home. So, go pee and change."
"I can just requip, you know," she muttered quietly but he heard her.
"With your impairment? Requip into what? Your cat costume?"
She stamped her feet in frustration. "My magic may be wonky, but I can still bug paste you!" She growled at her terrible sentence structure and realized just how fuzzy she was. It was worse than being drunk! She stamped her foot again, "Fine! I'm going!"

After several minutes, she poked her head out and reluctantly called to him. "I need help."
Leaning at the doorway, he smirked, "what's the matter? You don't remember how to change your clothes?"
She scowled at his stupid, stupid, strangely seductive, stupid smirk. "That's not it," she gritted through her teeth, "I usually just requip this stupid costume on and off! But now, I can't reach the zipper."
"Ah, so you admit it's stupid. And a costume."
"Gray! I swear, if you don't-"

He spun her around and swallowed nervously at the realization of what he was about to do: she was in his home, and even though the outfit itself wasn't exactly a turn on, it was still an obscenely skimpy outfit. And here she was asking for his help in removing said skimpy outfit.

Her stomach felt funny. Like a flip-floppy, fish out of water kind of funny. Was it from the poisoned tea or from Gray's closeness? She thought it was best not to dwell too much on it.

Hours seemingly ticked by with no movement from him. "What's the matter, Gray? Do you not know how to use a zipper? I would think an exhibitionist like you would be an expert at this."
"Ha-ha-ha. You think you're so humorous." He exhaled deeply and reached for the zipper. Tucking his fingers under the top of the outfit, he gently tugged the zipper down with his other hand. His knuckles lightly brushed each centimeter of newly exposed skin as he slowly drew the zipper down. He felt her shiver and briefly wondered if it was because of his touch or merely the chill of his fingers. He hoped for the former but suspected the latter. When he got the zipper halfway down, he stepped away. Clearing his throat, he gently prodded her back into the bathroom. "I think you can take it from here."
She tilted her head back so she could see his face and smiled shyly. "Thanks." She hurried past the door and quietly closed it.

When she emerged, Gray was laid out on the couch. He directed her to drink another glass of water and nodded to his room. "You can sleep in my bed. The couch is good enough for me."
She stood over him and pulled him into a sitting position. "May I help you?"
"I refuse to kick you out of your own bed." Her hands on her hips, her lips stretched in a tight line.
He smiled up at her. "I see you're feeling more like yourself."

His eyes raked over her form; feeling more at ease now that she was wearing clothes instead of asking him to take them off. He leaned back against the couch and smirked. "By the way, that," he gestured to her, well, his clothes, "is much, much sexier than little bunny costume of yours."
She tugged the hem of his shirt lower, suddenly embarrassed that she wasn't wearing anything resembling pants. Which was an usual feeling for her. Erza never got embarrassed; she had no shame. Not in regards to her body at least. And certainly not when she's around Gray. Whatever was happening, she thanked whatever powers that be, that the darkness hid her blush. "Sh-shut up."

Noticing her bare legs, he stood and unconsciously began to to stroke her elbow. "Did the shorts not fit?"
"Did you really expect it to? I am a girl. And you're a boy. You're kind of bigger than me."
He tugged her gently, "I may have some shorts from when I was younger."

He led her to his room and rummaged through the bottom of his closet until he found a pair of old gym shorts with drawstrings. Tossing them to her, he straightened out the mess he made. Quickly pulling them on while he was preoccupied, she knotted the drawstrings and noticed his bed.

The bed he had been sleeping on until she rudely woke him. The bed he sleeps on on a nightly basis. Cringing at her attempted breaking and entering earlier, she apologized profusely but he just shook his head and told her not to worry about it. Glancing at his slept in bed again, she suggested that since they were at an impasse: he insisted she take the bed and she stoutly refused to kick him out after her attempt at breaking in, that the bed would be big enough for the both of them.

That's Erza for you: always the practical one.

His own eyes darted to the bed. His resolve for being a gentleman and taking the couch slipping at the beckoning of his really, really comfortable bed. The couch was the single most uncomfortable piece of furniture he owned. It was sunk in and lumpy in some places. He'd been meaning to get a new one but hadn't found the time yet. The prospect of having a warm Erza in his bed didn't hurt either.

"I promise to keep my hands to myself." Erza beamed when he relented.
"Tch. Then what's the point?" He nudged, letting her know that he was joking. She laughed airily and then yawned. "Looks like the tea part of the poisoned tea is out of your system. Go on. Climb in."
"I'll try not to toss and turn so much, okay?" She sleepily crawled into his bed, blissfully unaware of the view her actions gave him. He shook out of his reverie when he heard her call his name. He slid under the sheets and lied stiffly on his back.

He nearly jumped out of his skin when he felt her snuggle up next to him. "Sorry I couldn't keep my promise," she mumbled sleepily against his shoulder. He felt his body relax and sink into the mattress. "It's all right. I won't hold it against you."
"Okay." Her voice a dropping off even more. "Thank you, Gray. For looking out after me."
He rested his cheek at the top of her head and whispered the promise of always before drifting off to sleep himself.

He woke the next morning pleasantly surprised that the previous night's events weren't some really elaborate dream. Erza really did show up at his doorstep, in a bunny costume of all things. Rubbing the gunk from his sleepy eyes, he gently tried to extract his arm that was trapped underneath her warm body. He was beginning to lose all sensation in that arm and desperately needed to get some blood flow back. He nearly freed his arm when she woke.

Which was the one thing he was trying very hard not to do.

She blinked blearily trying to orient herself.
"Didn't mean to wake you," a low, clearly-just-woke-up, scratchy voice rumbled next to her. She turned toward the voice. He was smiling sleepily at her.
"Feeling better?"
"Enough to know I may have made a fool of myself." She buried her head under the thick blanket. "Did I really try to break in to your home? Wearing that bunny outfit?" Pulling the blanket away, he confirmed those sequence of events. Gleefully.

She mumbled something about him being a jerk for enjoying her clearly out of character behavior but he shrugged it off. He's like Teflon that way; nothing ever sticks to him.*

His face turned serious and asked how her magic was feeling. Erza felt her magic was stronger than it did last night so he suggested that she try requipping.
...Which was a terrible, horrendous, awful, all around bad idea. He was able to duck just in time and spilled out of bed, hitting the floor with a loud THWACK as he avoided the flying spear. Erza gaped in abject horror and apologized profusely. Gray popped up from the floor, roaring, "no weapons in bed ever again!"**

Her mouth snapped shut and eyes widened. Trying to keep her eyes trained on his face, her voice cracked as she rushed out her question, "Gray, does your stripping habit extend to when you're sleeping? Because I may have been loopy, but I'm pretty sure you wore something to bed."

His skin suddenly felt too hot for his body. He fearfully looked down at himself and... Yup. Really-very-completely-without-a-stitch-on-naked. Normally, it wouldn't bother him. As Erza so often liked to say, what's a little nakedness between friends? But to his horror, his morning wood was bobbing menacingly... At Erza. It was one thing to be naked and a whole other thing to be naked and hard with the girl you kind of, sort of, maybe like.

Wrenching a pillow, he made a piss poor attempt to cover himself. He swallowed roughly and tried to ignore his current state.
"As a matter of fact, yes. Yes, it does. Which is why I insisted on staying on the couch. And just so you know... This," he gestured inarticulately at his... pillow covered parts, "is a normal thing- reaction guys have in the morning. I don't want you to think that- that is- what I mean is..." He took a deep breath to gather himself and tried again. "I apologize if I have offended you in some way with my..."
He trailed off, unable to complete his thought without wanting to punch himself. Picking up his discarded boxers, he quickly tugged it on and informed her that he'll get her some more water and hightailed it out of the room as if the very demons of hell were chasing him.

He dropped her off at the dorm following that morning's...incident. Remembering that Mira had ingested the poison too, he asked Erza where her room was and was allowed entrance.
Just this once.
Gray knocked on the large wood door and rocked back and forth on his heels as he waited. When the doors opened, a thoroughly disheveled and miserable looking Mira was revealed. He had never seen her in such a state and explained the situation.

She didn't look a tiny bit pleased at being told what had occurred and what to expect. He took a large step back just for safety sake and advised Mira to drink plenty of fluids and to try not to use her magic.

After Mira thanked him (grouchily,) he met up with Erza in the lobby. She tried returning his loaners but he refused to take them back and told her to keep it; telling her that she looks better in it than I ever did. Or ever will. They started for the guild together, stupidly teasing each other; her about that morning's 'incident' and him about her wonky misadventures with wolfsbane.

It wasn't until the next morning when her magic was impairment-free.
Mira on the other hand... Her magic did return to normal but not before she destroyed a large chunk of the guild wall from a magically powered (accidental, Mira swore) sneeze.

The blue tin of tea now sits encased in glass with flashing advisory warnings plastered all around until the magic council could come retrieve it.

*Unless it's Juvia in her obsessive, Gray-sama phase. Zing!
**My, my, my. That's awfully presumptuous of you, Gray!

Originally, I was not planning on writing the 'morning-after' bit but then the idea of Erza unintentionally attacking Gray was just too hilarious to leave out. Let that be a lesson to you all: friends don't let friends use magic while poisoned.

You know the drill: my only motivation to continue this are reviews. So, I'm extorting you. You want stories, I demand reviews. Get on it.