Written as a response to someone on Tumblr... there may or may not be a sequel to this :P
In other news... I realized that all my latest updates on the various fics (including Postcards!1!) had like an average of 110 readers... while it is nice that there are still people following NejiTen out there, it would be helpful to gauge reader response to these things (and sometimes that influences what I write/post). Sooooo, leave a comment if you have thoughts/suggestions? ;)
Naruto and its characters do not belong to me.
It is one of those nights in the village when a surprising number of the Konoha 11 guys are not on a mission. Naruto, as usual, has suggested a guys-only dinner, and Lee, fun-loving Lee, is among the first to agree to it. Neji grudgingly follows, if only to make sure that Lee doesn't consume any of that damn alcohol that could spell potential disaster.
Thus, it is to Neji's aggravation when the guys embark on their usual discussion of women; that mutt, Kiba, is all but drooling over Ino's lack of clothes, Naruto gushes about how pretty Sakura is (Neji isn't sure if he wants Naruto anywhere near his cousin), to which Lee declares his everlasting love for Sakura, and pronounces Naruto as his second eternal rival. Shikamaru slouches in his seat, chewing on his straw in boredom, and Choji is content to pull the plates of leftovers towards himself.
"Hey, hey, have you heard of that game," Kiba grins wolfishly, perking up. "Bang, Marry, Kill?"
Neji stiffens in his seat. He doesn't want anything to do with that. Next to him, Lee is all ears and gleaming teeth.
"What youthful game is that? I would like to learn it!" he exclaims, and Neji breathes a long-suffering sigh. It is a little too late to shut Lee up with a well-placed hit to the neck.
"Don't tell me you haven't heard of it, Fuzzy Brows," Naruto says, with bright eyes and a grin. He holds up three fingers. "Basically, you pick out three girls in the village - one you'd screw, one you'd marry, and one you'd kill."
Lee gasps in horror. "I have to choose someone to kill? And- And, Gai-sensei said that you only share the passionate dance with someone you'd marry!"
"Well, it's just a game," Kiba grins, and Shikamaru grumbles beneath his breath. Neji hopes that they end the game before it gets to his turn, because he's really not going to answer that-
"So, who's going to start first?" Naruto looks around the table, skipping over the uninterested expressions of Neji, Shikamaru and Choji. "Well then, I think I should begin."
He jabs his thumb into his chest and the expression on his face turns sly quite suddenly. "The girl I want to marry... is Sakura-"
Lee howls at that.
"The girl I wanna bang... um... Hinata," Naruto continues, and both Neji and Kiba are glaring at him, spikes of murderous intent causing nearby patrons to look around worriedly.
"You will not speak of Hinata-sama like that," Neji threatens, his Byakugan activating of its own accord. It is preposterous, that the man his cousin is head-over-heels for would think of her in such basal terms-
"Oi, don't insult my teammate like that, bonehead," Kiba growls, grabbing Naruto by the throat.
The blonde looks at them and gulps, realizing the danger he's in. "I, um, I think I'd rather bang Shizune instead," he stutters, and deflates in relief when the murderous intents subside. "And um, I'd kill Anko-sensei, I guess, she's scary."
"I guess I'm next," Kiba smirks, finally satisfied with Naruto's answers. "I'd bang Ino, of course, I mentioned that. As for who I'd marry... I think Tenten would be a good choice-"
That hot, murderous intent boiling deep in Neji's gut is back. It isn't jealousy, really, Neji tells himself.
"Um, well, actually, I rather like Hinata-" Kiba stutters, and Neji glares warningly at him, but says nothing, because at least Kiba has more honorable intentions towards his cousin than Naruto does. "And I would kill... Orochimaru's mom."
"She's probably already dead," Naruto grumbles, looking sourly at Kiba. "That's a cop-out, and you know it."
Lee is raising his arm in the air before Kiba has a chance to explain himself. "I'm next!" he exclaims, "I would like to marry Sakura-san! And, well, I guess if I marry her, I should do the passionate dance with her-"
There's a light flush on Lee's cheeks. Kiba and Naruto stare at him; Neji looks away, and weighs the different options to remove himself and Lee within the next two minutes. He is definitely not going to make a fool of himself, even if Tenten is the one he'd like to marry, and would secretly love to have in his bed- But there is no way Lee is going to hear about it, because he can't keep a secret for nuts, and-
"Hey, Neji, it's your turn," Naruto prods slyly, leaning forward in his seat. Neji blinks. Wasn't Lee going to come up with a third name? He glances at Lee for an explanation, and is faced with an expectant look; Neji realizes a little too late that his attention slipped between Lee's second answer and now, and he's run out of time to remove himself-
"I need to return to the Hyuuga compounds, it's getting late," he tells them, turning to leave.
"But Neji! You said you had all night!" Lee protests, with wide eyes.
Why is he even spending time with this idiot, again?
"You're just trying to run away from the game," Naruto teases, grinning so wide that his eyes have turned to slits. "Come on, we all know that you like Tenten-"
"I do not!" he snaps, "She's just my teammate-"
"Neji, you have feelings for our dear lotus?" Lee looks at him, inky eyes staring into his.
Neji shifts uncomfortably in his seat. It is one thing to lie by omission, but he has enough morals not to fill Lee with untruths-
"You should really tell her about it before someone else comes along and talks her up," Kiba suggests, fangs glinting in the low light.
"Were you trying to kiss her the other day?" Lee gasps, his face glowing with enlightenment. "When- When you pinned her down during our training and-"
"That was just a spar!" Neji grits, heat creeping up his neck. He had no idea that Lee saw - it would be bad if Lee told Tenten, because Tenten has no clue about this at all-
"But Neji-" Lee protests.
"You're just a coward who doesn't dare to admit his feelings," Naruto says in a sing-song voice, waggling his eyebrows knowingly. Neji feels the greatest sense of injustice, knows he's cornered-
"Lee, there's a squirrel under that table," Neji points, and Lee looks in that very direction, which just so happens to have a faint movement beneath a table. Lee bounds off with a delighted shout; Neji turns back, and fixes his comrades with a glare. "Yes, I will marry Tenten, I will bed Tenten, and I will kill every single one of you if she gets wind of this."
He sets enough cash down to cover his meal and Lee's, and stalks away, grabbing Lee by the scruff of his neck.
"My squirrel!" Lee sobs, straining against Neji's grasp.
"We're leaving, Lee," Neji mutters, still fighting his blush as they leave the establishment.
"Now you've got Choji and I into this mess," Shikamaru grumbles at the silent table and folds his arms. "How troublesome."
"Well, at least they left some food behind," Choji grins, stuffing his face with the last dumpling.
Naruto stares at the swinging door in awe, finally muttering, "Tenten should totally hear about this."
I wonder how Neji would react lol :P