A/N: Well, lucky you guys, I'm ragequitting on my super hard homework and therefore am working on fanfics. You guys should be grateful that my schoolwork is an ass and my internet was down. XD Don't. Please. I can't live without Internet, and plus, without internet I can't really upload these. Warning: following this sentence there will either be a bunch of useless rambles, replies to reviews, or stuff already mentioned in chapter one, so you can skip to the story if you are not interested.
Chelseaj500: He's not very hard to guess… xD Though it is true I haven't introduced a lot of characters including him. I think I will mass introduce them some later chapter.
MakenshiCrona: I want those slippers too. And Arthur is very fun to write. He is so funny.
whovianstudent: Thanks for popping in. :)
Moon made of Ink: …That description sounds bad. That didn't even cross my mind. O.O
Farfetched Fairy: Like I said, no offense taken at all. I'm happy you bothered to post a review at all. ^^ I practically jump every time my phone buzzes with a new email, hoping it's my fanfiction alerts. XD
Below is copy pasted:
Warnings and Pairings: Rated T for shounen ai and crude language. PruCan, GerIta, Spamano, and USUK are all I've decided on for now. I may end up randomly shipping the others and do crazy love polygons including the ones I've already set up above, unless I really dislike a pairing (i.e. America x Belarus. I don't see it happening) or if I think they shouldn't be broken (i.e. SuFin. Do not argue!). May contain glaring plot holes and grammatical errors due to run-ons. Sorry! They are slightly OOC in the beginning for later plots.
Summary: Matthew operates as a ghostwriter in his school. When forced to pretend to be Gilbert's boyfriend, he ends up getting more than what he bargained for.
Disclaimer: If I owned Hetalia, nyancat would make a cameo and America would be obsessed with it, as well as picking fights with England over which is better, poptart cats or unicorns.
Chapter 4: Tricks
Never has Matthew Williams wanted to disappear into thin air more in his life. Not even when Arthur tried forcefeeding Alfred scones but mistook Matthew for Alfred again. He couldn't eat anything else for days after the incident. But as of now, he forgot all about the Brit's slimy creations and instead wanted to hit his head on a wall and maybe die, so he didn't have to deal with the resulting mess.
At the lunch tables, Gilbert had apparently gotten help from Feliciano in making a banner hanging across the makeshift roof above.
"Celebrating the awesome matrimony of Gilbert 'Awesome' Beilschmidt and Matthew 'Birdie' Williams Beilschmidt!"
And there were fluffy yellow chicks doodled everywhere, courtesy of Feliciano. It was a good thing nearly no one knew who he was, so it wasn't exactly too hard to pretend he didn't exist, but Matthew was dreading when someone finally managed to catch onto his name. Quietly slipping away, he did not notice the person creeping up behind him until he felt himself slung up on someone's shoulder again. What was with these people and their obsession with carrying others like a potato sack?
Looking down with no perverted intentions at all, because Matthew was not Francis, he recognized the view from the day before. The jeans that were riding a bit too low and showing the colorful red and yellow-orange boxers were a dead giveaway as well, and the Canadian marveled at the loyalty of Gilbert's friends.
"Lo siento Mateo, but Gilly needs his boyfriend to be with him at the celebration!" his captor cheerily commented.
Setting him down just like he would with a real sack of potatoes onto the table, Antonio grinned his normal smile and clambered on as well. To the Canadian's dismay, he was hoisted up by two more pairs of strong arms and when finally up at full height, was staring straight into the crimson eyes of Gilbert. "Kesesese, totally awesome, right?" Matthew's knees felt like buckling but Francis's hands eerily near his butt but holding up his waist kept him from falling. Gilbert hooked an arm around the other's shoulder and shouted into a microphone, which Matthew did not notice at all until he actually took it out.
Widening his eyes, he realized it was hooked to the school PA as soon as the albino's first words came booming out. "Yo minions! Bow down to the awesome queen the King of Awesomeness has personally hand-picked!"
"He's Matthew?"
"Damn, I thought that was Jones!"
"Never heard of this kid!"
"Nice going Beilschmidt!"
"Ve! Congratulations Gilly-nii!"
"Gilbert!" a shriek pierced the rest of the noises of the crowds watching the spectacle with amusement. Pushing her way to the front, the girl that emerged from the mob of people was immediately recognized by Matthew, who was currently somewhat dizzy and felt like puking. She was Elizaveta Hedervary, the Hungarian student who was certainly very beautiful but had very odd tastes. "Hey Gilbert! You actually picked someone up for real?" she grinned from below while waving her right hand enthusiastically.
"Heck yea, psycho frying pan girl!" the albino responded just as cheerily. Matthew groaned, and felt an uncomfortable feeling in his gut. He just knew trouble was going to come out of this, with Francis smiling creepily and Gilbert laughing like a maniac. Luckily, Antonio was turning to the side somewhere, waving at someone else, presumably Lovino.
However, to add to his misfortunes, Elizaveta grinned, possibly even more unnerving than either of the two boys. "Oh, you're dead Gil. But after I get pictures, you hear? Plus, the kid you hooked up with is pretty cute!"
Matthew flushed at the compliment, but was very worried at the "pictures" she mentioned. Gilbert seemed to have noticed. He sent a small glare over the girl and said, "Shit, Lizzie! Don't go around stealing glances at Mattie! He's mine, kay? Stick to your perverted man-on-man fantasies!"
The chorus of high-pitched "aw's" that went throughout the crowd made Matthew shudder, but Elizaveta continued smiling even wider. "Aw, Gilly's being possessive!" she cooed while quickly whipping out her cellphone and snapping a couple of shots.
A loud coughing noise immediately cleared the area of students as every dashed out the place, leaving behind the four on the table and Lovino, who apparently was still arguing with Antonio and not noticing everyone else leave. Matthew widened his eyes. There was the vice principal glaring at them while tapping his feet.
"Oh… hello?" the boy muttered meekly, frightened since he did not want any part in this.
Gilbert however had a completely different approach. Muttering something along the lines of, "stupid traitor frying pan bitch" and shooting a warning glare to Francis, he leaped off the table and ran up to the man, starting a heated conversation. After a while, the elder Beilschmidt wearily smacked his own face and turned away, apparently tired from just arguing with the boy. The albino bounced back giddily and shouted, "Woot! Birdie, you don't have to worry about your record and stuff, I already told my old man it wasn't your problem."
Matthew was touched that his "boyfriend" was considerate enough to figure out he did not want his academics to be harmed. However, any respect was soon dissipated when the boy in question slung his arm around the Canadian's shoulder and said, "That means you can skip class with me! If you say we kidnapped you they won't do anything about it, kesesese."
He adamantly refused. "Gilbert, but I still need to go to class to learn!"
"Who gives a shit about school? …wait, you do, huh? Aw, I thought you were better than that," the Prussian pouted. "Well, you're cute so I forgive you. And Arthur's awesome so I let him be a wuss and go on and on about school. So, where's your next class? Francypants can get the secretary to write you a late pass, he's pretty much got her hooked," he said with a snort.
Francis feigned offense and exclaimed, "Mon dieu, it's not my fault my charms were too much for her to bear!"
Gilbert snorted again while Matthew said, "I have Algebra II with Mrs. Thorn next and it's at the other side of the school… do you think I can make it?"
The albino widened his eyes. "Shit, I have her too! Damn, you're taking Algebra II? And I'm a year older!" He flailed his arms while Matthew nervously chuckled upon hearing the bell ring.
"…apparently not…" he whispered in answer to his own question.
Gilbert stared at Francis hard so he whipped out a piece of paper and scribbled on it. The Canadian stared in shock as he was handed a late slip in perfect handwriting. "Used only in emergencies, but I can always sneak another one. You deserve it, oui?" his cousin winked.
Antonio was now cuddling Lovino, and since they weren't going to class anytime soon, Matthew was herded away by the two other sophomores. Uncomfortably placed in the middle of them, both of who were slightly taller than him because of age, Matthew was shaking because Francis's hands probably were itching from no one to grope, but he didn't want to anger Gilbert. Warily the Canadian eyed his cousin's hands, while the German was blissfully unaware of the two French-speaking people's dilemmas.
When they finally arrived at the door, Francis waved them off and hid somewhere behind the hallways, presumably also skipping class, since he did not have that particular Algebra II class. Gilbert grinned and turned the knob, swaggering in while Matthew meekly followed, hoping he could be unnoticed once again.
The teacher shot a glare at the albino and said, "Gilbert Beilschmidt, how nice of you to show up after, oh, two weeks of skipping?"
All she got was a shrug in reply and he made his way over to his seat, dropping down with a loud thud. However, Matthew slowly walked in, and for once she noticed. Narrowing her eyes, she hissed, "Who are you? You're not in this class, are you?"
Scared, he answered, "Uh, y-yes I am, my name is Matthew Williams…"
She scanned the list and looked in shock as she saw the last name on the list. Why didn't she remember that being there? Sighing, she was about to mark in a checkmark for being late, but then Gilbert spoke up, seeing what she was going to do. "Hey, the kid has a freaking pass, hag."
"Detention, Beilschmidt," she snapped, but then snatched the paper from the Canadian and erased her previous mark. The rest of the class was uneventful, except for the fact that the Canadian noticed a couple of odd glances his way, coupled with Gilbert's leer. Blushing, he set his head down and hoped he wouldn't be able to feel the eyes boring into his back.
At lunch, he was about to go sit in some obscure corner, but then Lovino had found him while they were going out of their history class. "Oh no way kid, you're not getting away from those bastards if I have to sit with them," he muttered as he dragged the Canadian along.
The group at the table was surprisingly big. He knew they were popular, but not that popular. Matthew had expected a few shallow friends of theirs to randomly sit there, but the sight before him showed that everyone at the table knew each other well… a little too well from the arguments that were starting. He felt uncomfortable being the odd one out, since while he could name most of the people, none of them really knew him or vice versa.
Carefully picking a seat near Francis but not too near, he found out the person who was acting as a buffer between him and Francis was no other than Arthur, whose head was facedown on the table. Apparently he was either having a really bad hangover or he was sleeping.
"Arthur?" he asked.
"Mhmm… Al—wait, you're Matthew. What do you need?" he mumbled into the table, not even lifting his head.
"Oh, just wondering if you were okay, you drank a lot yesterday."
"Stupid, stupid, stupid frog and stupid Prussian," was his reply. Apparently a hungover Arthur was just slightly better than a drunk Arthur in that he didn't slur his words and had bad grammar.
Shrugging, the Canadian picked at his food, until the seat right next to him was suddenly taken. When he turned to see, he saw sparkling green eyes staring back. Elizaveta promptly hugged him and said, "You're so cute! It's amazing, that egotistical idiot actually has such a cute boyfriend!" she squealed while crushing the boy's lungs.
When she finally let go, she immediately drifted off to the side and started to text on her phone. Then the Prussian had moved from his original spot and planted himself in between the two, shoving the girl off a bit in the process. "Hey bitch, what did I say about birdie?" he snapped.
Though she wanted to hit him with her frying pan badly, she decided against it because she needed to send Kiku her latest pictures. The next best choice was just to ignore the comment and reply, "Yeah yeah, but he's cute, and it's not like I'm going to steal him form you."
Gilbert frowned a bit at this, almost imperceptibly, but then the troublemaking grin he usually had grew on his face. He snatched the phone out of her hands and quickly sent something. Alarmed, the Hungarian began a tug of war with him with the phone, and the Canadian was amazed the girl had enough strength to fight on par with the albino.
The phone vibrated with a reply, and when she snatched it out of his hands with a sudden burst of energy, she quickly read the reply and widened her eyes. Looking around a bit, suddenly she saw a familiar figure walking over to their table. Excited, she ran off and Gilbert grinned at Matthew. "It's so fucking easy to get rid of her."
However, now she was back in a heartbeat, and Matthew saw Kiku and Alfred standing with her. The Asian was stoic as usual, while Alfred had a confused look on his face. "Mattie? Huh, I thought you'd be around the commies… not that it's bad away from them but I didn't know you know these people, well except Artie and Francypants but still I didn't—"
"Whoa! Shit Jones, stop leaking out whatever hero crap you normally spew, because I'm way awesomer!" Gilbert snapped while hugging tightly to Matthew despite his attempts to escape.
Narrowing his eyes, the American hissed, "What are you doing to my brother? Fucking let go of him evil albino!"
"I got claims on him, he even lets, so suck it dickwad."
Matthew was scared. He knew Alfred didn't like Gilbert very much, but he didn't know they hated each other. Though he was still against being his boyfriend, he thought the German was a nice guy once you get past his faults.
Suddenly the mop of blond hair next to him spoke up. "You know that they really don't hate each other. It's just that their egos are too big to fit into one room, but if you distract them they're as good as buddies."
Distracted the American was, as he changed targets and started to prod Arthur with his finger. "Hey Artie! Aaaaartieeeee. Wake up already, British dude!"
"I am not just a 'British dude', I have a name. Go the bloody hell away, American idiot."
After the two had started a fight, Francis pulled up his chair to be closer to the Canadian, while the boy tried his best to lean away as far as he could from his cousin. The Frenchman chuckled to him, "Don't worry mon ami, Gilly and Alfred actually are very good friends, just that they always pick a fight with each other, just like Angleterre and moi, non?"
"I am not your bloody friend, frog, and Alfred, fucking let go of me already!"
"No Artie, not until you call me 'Al'!"
"Not on my bloody life!"
Ignoring them, Francis continued, "Alfred and Gilbert cannot fit their egos into one room, as Angleterre said, but when they actually work together they can be great, like that one time they both bullied poor Angleterre until he cried himself to sleep that night." Matthew giggled and suddenly remembered the time his twelve-year-old brother had ganged up on Arthur with another kid so they could go play at his house. He didn't know that kid was Gilbert though.
The albino in question rolled his eyes and said, "Franny, that is none of your business, and as far as my awesomeness is concerned, I don't know that guy. Not at all."
Pleased to see that his "boyfriend" wasn't yelling at his brother or vice versa, Matthew slightly relaxed. Only slightly.
By an amazing miracle he had managed to escape the table when he had finished, not wanting to stay behind feeling left out even though Gilbert always paid attention to him. It was that which actually drove him away, since he had never felt so watched before in his life.
Walking through the hallways wasn't easy either, girls were whispering while glancing in his direction and he received a few glares and some giggles from others.
Someone had tripped him once, and he thought he heard a "fag" and it stung. Feeling tears well up in his eyes, he picked up whatever he dropped and rushed forward to his locker, trying his best to ignore the attention he was finally getting.
It shouldn't be Gilbert's fault… was it? The Canadian did not want to blame the carefree boy.
Though it was a bit too much when he had been stopped twice, once by a group of girls and another by some buff jock troupe. Both had congratulated him on actually getting into a relationship with Gilbert, but there was a sting of jealousy (was it?) hidden inside some of the girls' empty words. The jocks probably were just having fun, though.
Matthew couldn't take it. Perhaps he hadn't been noticed for such a long time he didn't know how to deal with it, so he ran to the bathroom as inconspicuously as he could and started to sob in a stall. He stopped abruptly when he heard footsteps coming in, and a few familiar voices though he couldn't pinpoint exactly who. Quickly drawing his legs up and locking the stall door, he watched as the group made their way in while conversing in front of his stall. They were whispering, so the voices were muffled and he couldn't hear very clearly.
There were three pairs of shoes in front of his stall, and he recognized one pair. They were the very fancy dress shoes Francis always wore, and after listening in while holding his breath, he could hear a few snippets of French in the conversation. The other two were a mystery, but after listening longer, he realized that his first guess, the Bad Friend Trio, was incorrect as neither of the voices sounded like Gilbert or Antonio.
"…progress…important…"
"…all…l'amour! But…"
"Shut…der needs..."
He almost fell off the toilet when he heard a loud shout. "Francypants! That's where you were, Toni was looking for you! And did you see Mattie anywhere?" Matthew immediately recognized the loud German's coarse voice.
"Non, I did not see mon petit Mathieu. Maybe you could look—"
"Hey, someone's in the stall. Are they hiding or something?" Gilbert walked up to the door and rattled it a few times. "Hey, I was right, the door's locked."
Holding his breath in, Matthew squeezed his eyes shut and wished he was invisible, afraid to be found out.
There was a thud as someone fell. "OW! Scheiße, why'd you drop me?" Matthew opened his eyes a crack and saw Gilbert rubbing his back in the small space between the stall door and the toilet. Before he could make a noise, the Prussia darted forward and clamped a hand over the Canadian's mouth, and quickly shouted to the ones outside, "Hey, I'm going to take a dump while I'm at it. There's no one in here anyway, kesesese."
"Gilly—what are you—"
"I'm taking my pants off! I'm sitting on the toilet, and now I'm going to start to awesomely crap!"
"Bruder, I don't think we need to hear your—"
"Shit, this one's big! I need privacy, let me crap in peace, guys!"
"Gilbert, you're not even facing outwards… if you were actually going to poop your pants would be down and there would be shit on the floor already."
"Er, yes, just go, before I really do shit on the floor. Cause I need to poop in peace."
"Whatever you say, Gilbert-san."
There was a shuffling of feet as the trio left, and the Canadian just realized the other two talking to Francis were Ludwig and Kiku. Since when did they talk to Francis? He was still more confused as to why the German had tried to keep him from talking, but now he felt the necessity to breathe. Yanking the offending hand off his mouth and taking in a few deep breaths, the Canadian finally managed to regain the oxygen his body was deprived of.
"Hey, you alright?" his companion asked him.
After a long silence while the blond tried to get his breathing back to normal, he finally spoke up, "Eh, I think I'm good now. What was that for?"
"Franny would go ballistic if he saw his 'mon pe—pe-something Mathieu' crying in a toilet stall all alone," he stated, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Plus, can't let my boyfriend cry, right?"
The boy was shocked speechless as two arms wrapped around him. As soon as they had done their purpose, they had left him and he felt himself missing the warmth, but Matthew did not comment. "Better now, Birdie?"
He nodded and wiped the grime off of his eyes. With a nod, the Prussian tried to unlock the door, but it had jammed so he kicked it as hard as he could, breaking it down. A few seconds later, there suddenly was a wet paper towel thrown in the Canadian's face. "Wipe it up, so no one notices."
Obeying the other, Matthew cleaned himself up as best as he could and made his way slowly out of the stall. The German had a faraway look in his eyes, as if he was seeing something else through the Canadian. With a wave of his hand, he started to walk out the door, beckoning for the boy to follow. "Kesesese, we should get going now so I can prank bruder when he goes to his next class," he added.
Matthew was suddenly sure that the earlier expression was only a trick of the light.
The remainder of the school day could be said as uneventful, besides him finding out that Gilbert was in half his classes. He just never knew because the albino hardly attended class at all. It was interesting to note the teachers' reactions when they saw the Prussian walk into class. None of them were positive though. Despite Gilbert's best efforts to have him ditch class with him, he flatly refused no matter how much the other pouted, and after school he had hockey practice. Waving the other off, he happily walked to the locker rooms, somewhat smiling at the fact that no one would dare make fun of him when he had a hockey stick in hand.
To his surprise, Matthew, upon leaving the building after practice had finished, found Gilbert out cold on a bench outside the locker rooms. Touched that the other had waited for him, he sat down while returning the favor by waiting until he woke up. It would be rude to wake him. About an hour later he was somewhat regretting his decision, since the German slept like a rock. The whole time he had already finished the little homework he had by writing on his lap while trying his best to ignore the random giggles coming from girls passing by.
"Oh, Gilbert. Why do I bother?" he mumbled to himself as he finished packing up. Leaning back on the bench, he found himself getting drowsier and drowsier as the sunrays warmed him up. Before he could snap back to reality, he had already drifted off to dreamland.
Waking up in a bed, Matthew jumped up with a shout. He couldn't really remember what had happened between when he had packed up his books and now. Quickly scanning the room, he was relieved to see that it was his own room. He took a look at his wristwatch and saw the numbers flashing. Thankfully it was only 7:00 P.M or so.
The Canadian pulled up the chair to his computer and turned the system on. While waiting for it to finish, he quickly searched the room for his backpack and found that it was next to his bed. However, his eyes finally noticed that his window was wide open, and a bit worried he scanned the room to see if anything was missing. Nothing seemed out of place. Still worried, he took a look outside the window to see if there was anything noticeable. All he saw was the peaceful neighborhood. Confused, he probably figured that his mom opened the window in order for him to have some fresh air.
By now the computer had finished loading and he groaned quietly as he found he had new mail. There were more commission e-mails, but thankfully there were only four. Before he checked on the new ones, he sent the others their completed essays, cursing quietly to himself in French when he accidentally misclicked and sent it to the wrong address. Thankfully it was only his personal e-mail account.
Clicking on the first e-mail in the list, he saw it was his own science class's assignment that was given today. However, it was due two weeks or so from now. Shrugging his shoulder, he figured this person was an early starter. As he opened the next message, he was slightly shocked.
There was actually a message included with the attachment, the project also from his science class.
i need u 2 rite dis 4 me kthxbai- bt do it good cuz I rly need 2 pas dis semtrse
ps do it quick cuz i need smbdy 2 profrede it l8r
Raising an eyebrow, he scanned the terribly written message. Arthur would go insane if he saw this. Matthew looked at the e-mail address and it was "flufflz000 at emailprovider . com," one that he did not recognize.
However, his heart skipped a beat when he clicked on the next letter.
I know who you are.
All he could do was scream like a girl.
A/N: Crappy writing is crappy. So is cliffhanger. There's been too many plot bunnies in my head and I kinda died xD So did my writing skills. Anyway, Mr. Villain won't pop up for some time, though he will be introduced.
I hated writing this and hit my head on a wall, since this sucked really bad. Just filler and fluff and random things that should be mentioned before anything really starts.
About the craptastic title, it was conceived when I thought about the "trick of the light" thing that Matthew mentions. Cause appearances can be deceiving! :D
Recap: Fluff. That's all you need to know. :D Plus two odd messages find their way into his mailing system...
Next chapter spoilers: That was definitely a crash that Matthew heard. Running towards the mess, he finds something he never expected to see.
Randomness, sorry if you don't like this one, I promise it'll get more interesting later.
Review for a replica of Texas! (America's glasses)