Everyone knows that it's not time to go back to school until Blair Waldorf has thrown her Back-To-School Party. So get ready for the night to set forth what this school year will be like – dark and secretive. And of course, when I say secretive, I mean time to give your secrets out for the whole world to know.
First night back with the Non-Judging Breakfast Club – but they aren't all that "non-judging" anymore. They judge everything. And by one of the secrets that I am about to reveal about you, H. I wouldn't expect anything less from them.
You know you love me.
XOXO, Gossip Girl.
4. Dark and Secretive
Holland walked into Blair's suite, there were bodies gathered from the moment she walked in throughout the room. She took a cautious step inside, hoping not to gain that much attention from her entrance. To her demise, Blair was standing there waiting for her.
Blair made her way to Holland hurriedly, engulfing her into a hug. "You made it," Blair buried her face in Holland's hair. She pulled away and straightened Holly's headband and necklace before speaking again, "I'm really happy that you are home. I missed you. We all missed you."
Holland nodded straightening out her black Nina Ricci dress, "I missed you too. I want you to know how sorry I am that I left so suddenly and didn't talk to you all that much. I had to leave, I hope you understand that." Blair nodded her head, "This is a lovely party."
She smiled, "Thank you." She looked past Holland and noticed Marcus walking into the room, "If you'll excuse me, I have a Lord to entertain." She scurried away towards Marcus leaving Holland alone in the middle of the crowded room.
"You look lost," Someone whispered in her ear and she turned around slowly, not wanting to face him. "It must be odd coming back to a place where you were once so welcomed and now feeling like an outsider that no one remembers."
She scoffed with an annoyed eye roll, "I am not an outsider. And believe me, everyone remembers me." She took a glance up at him through her thick eye lashes, "What the hell are you doing here? Are you following me?"
Carter rolled his eyes, "You wish."
Arms folded across her chest and green eyes narrowed, "Then what are you doing here? Did you seem to forget that you graduated from Saint Jude's two years ago? Although it wouldn't come to a shock that you would forget as it seems that you have a very short memory of what "stay the hell away from me" means."
He stuffed his hands into his pockets, "You didn't mean that."
She fluttered her eyes at the arrogance that was radiating off of him. "Was my shoe flying at your head miscommunicated?"
He swallowed hard, "I just want to talk to you. Make up for what I did."
She shook her head furiously and he placed his hand on her cheek but she pulled away harshly. "Don't touch me, Carter." He ran his fingers down her arm and she closed her eyes, embracing the warmth of his touch, before harshly yanking her arm away. "You lost your privilege to have a conversation with me, to talk to me… to even be in the same vicinity as me."
He exhaled, "Holly."
She grunted deeply, "I thought I told you not to call me that."
He shook his head before taking a step away from her, "Great talk, Hol. Great fucking talk." He stormed out of the living room and disappeared into one of Blair's rooms down the hallway. Holland let out a deep breath and ran her hand through her hair. She tried to collect her thoughts until the ring of everyone's phones began to go off. Gossip Girl was running the show.
Spotted: Carter and Holland having a heated argument in the middle of the dance floor. Something tells me that the code to break her runaway passcode lies the letters C-A-R-T-E-R. We're taking baby steps, but the truth is bound to come out, H.
Everyone's eyes shifted in her direction and she rolled her eyes before stalking off of the floor and turning the corner. She noticed Nate standing in the corner, talking to an older woman. Presumably Catherine. Holland picked up a glass of champagne before walking towards them, "Nathaniel!" She shouted his name and he turned his head around and grinned. "Hi, I don't believe we've met," Holland looked up at Catherine before extending her hand towards her for a handshake. "I'm Holland, an old friend of Nathaniel's."
She shook Holland's hand briefly but never maintaining eye contact, "Catherine. It's nice to meet you, Holland. I don't believe I've heard about you."
"I'm the runaway who came back to the Upper East Side yesterday after leaving three years ago. Apparently I have a big secret to dig up, but I can't be the only one around here. Am I right?" She gave Catherine a sly grin and tilted her head to the side amused.
Catherine seemed intrigued by Holland. Someone who could give her a good fight, a good run for her money. "It does seem like everyone has a secret or two to hide. But sometimes they are best to stay buried."
Holland lifted her glass, "Cheers to that."
Catherine ran her hand down Nate's arm, letting her fingers trail along his. A voice spoke from behind them, "Nate?" They are turned to face a tanned brunette with short hair pulled into tight curls that framed her face around her shoulders. She noticed the intertwined fingers, "Oh my God."
The power surged and the entire room went dark, letting an avail of gasps leaving everyone's lips.
Nate's mouth parted slowly. But before he could say anything, she ran off. Leaving Nate, Catherine, and Holland watching her trail from the party. "Vanessa!" He called. Nate took a step forward, being the Knight in Shining Armor that he always has been and chased after her.
Catherine was about to follow in pursuit, but before she could move an inch, Holland caught her arm and pulled her back. Catherine tried to free her arm from her grasp, but it was no use. Holland had a tight grip on things that she wanted to control. "Not so fast, dear." She took a step in, so she was centimeters apart from Catherine. "I know what you're doing to Nate and I suggest that you back off. Whatever he owes you, I will pay for it. Just let him go," Holland pleaded. Catherine swallowed hard, "Please. He's just a kid, do you really want to be rolling around in the sheets with an immature seventeen year old."
She raised her chin, "I care about him."
"So do I," Holland explained. "Which is why I am standing here, begging you to set him free from living his life this way. He deserves a lot better than this. He shouldn't be having sex with an adult for money to help pay his family's bills. He should be going out to parties, getting drunk, and messing up his life. He shouldn't have this responsibility."
She exhaled, "I will think about this offer. You give an exceptional plea."
Holland sighed in relief, "Thank you, Catherine. I knew you would understand. If you would excuse me, I need to go find someone. I'll check in with you before the night is over, we'll negotiate the guidelines of this settlement."
Holland walked through a crowd of people, Blair was frantically trying to keep everyone calm. Bringing out a handful of candles, passing them among the students of Constance and St. Jude's. Holland walked into an empty room and ran her hand through her hair, letting out a long breath. She had no idea what she was doing.
Someone cleared their throat from the bed in the center of the room, "Holland. I know it's you by the tapping of your foot." Holland looked down and realized that her left foot was rapidly tapping the floor involuntarily. One. One. One. Two. Three. One. One. One. Two. Three. She stopped her foot and turned around so her back was no longer facing him. "You only tap your foot like that when you're stressed out."
She rolled her eyes. "Such a keen eye on things, Carter."
She could hear the creak of the bed move from his weight shifting under him. She heard his footsteps growing closer, although she couldn't make out any features present on his face beneath the darkness. For the first time in years, she felt powerless. As though she was being pulled into his orbit. "Tell me what's wrong, Holly." His voice was strong and gruff, pronouncing every syllable with a sharp tongue and an even sharper movement.
"How come wherever I go, you seem to appear from the shadows?" Her voice was shaky, breaths became harder to take. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. "Why can't you just leave me alone?" His fingers brushed against her arm, but she pulled away hugging herself tightly. Shutting her eyes and wanting to disappear. She didn't want to talk to him. To give him the satisfaction of this conversation, only for him to leave whenever he pleases. What he was best at.
His touch left her skin tingling. Burning hot over every cell that he left a mark on. "I don't want to feel like this when we are around each other. The tiptoeing. The avoiding. I don't want things to pick up how they left off."
She took a large gulp, swallowing her sorrows away. Pushing past the apology that was laced within his voice. Remember what he did to you. She shook her thoughts away. She had to be strong. She wouldn't let this destroy her any longer. "You need to leave, Carter."
He chuckled, "I don't have to do anything."
Destroy what destroys you.
She shifted her footing so she was standing tall, she narrowed her eyes. Darkening them. Jaw clenched. But the words wouldn't come out of her mouth. Tell him to leave and never come back. It was his turn to disappear this time. "Where are you going to run off this time, Hol?" She darted her eyes towards the moonlight that was shining through the window. The light was bouncing off of him and she could see every single feature. "You can't run from me forever."
She let out a quick breath, "I can try."
She took a step backwards, going to reach for the door handle when his voice broke through once again. "Was what I did really that bad?" She stopped dead in her tracks but kept her back towards him. After a few more moments of silence passed, he spoke again. "That you can't even look at me?"
"Yes!" Holland screamed frantically, allowing her echo to boom across the room. "Yes, Carter. What you did was so bad that I left my hometown!" She turned around, but kept her eyes focused on the ground. "The one place that I love more than anything. I couldn't face my friends, my family. I felt disgusted with myself. So yes," She finally raised her head to look at him. "It is that bad that I don't even want to look at you."
He swallowed hard, "I don't know what you want me to say."
She chuckled under her breath darkly, speaking before her mind could even catch up with her mouth. "How about you start with an apology? Because it's been three years and you've yet to even say that you're sorry." Her voice was fragile, saying everything she'd been too scared to say before.
He took a step forward, "I'm-" He halted and kept staring at her. Trying to get the words out, but they wouldn't budge. All he could say was the word he'd missed the most since her departure, "Holly."
She nodded her head, disappointed. In herself, in him. She wasn't really sure anymore. "Yeah, exactly." She turned the doorknob and opened the door slightly, letting the light shine in from the candles in the other room. "Goodbye, Carter." She stepped outside of the room and the just like that – the power turned back on, leaving Carter Baizen wallowing in his own self-pity.
Holland headed towards the exit of Blair's suite, trying to disappear from the party under the radar. But long and behold, Blair had a sharp eye out for me. "Holland Avery! You are not leaving quite yet," She chased after her. She grabbed on her arm and pulled her to turn around, "We haven't even caught up yet!"
She let out a quiet breath and looked at her persistent, brunette best friend. "I'm sorry, B. But I just don't want to be here anymore, I can't be here anymore. I made a horrible decision coming back, all my mistakes are trying to catch up to me." She started to walk away again, but Blair grabbed her arm quickly, stopping her.
She rubbed my arm lightly, "Well talk to me about them. Let me know what's wrong."
A tall, blonde man walked by them, stepping behind Blair and placing his hand on her waist. Holland looked up and gave him a small smile, "You must be Marcus. It's a pleasure to meet you," Holland extended her hand towards him and he shook it firmly.
He kissed Blair on the cheek and she turned towards Holland, "Listen. Please, don't leave before we talk. I will be back soon, but I really want to talk to you. I've missed you," She kissed Holland's cheek before scurrying on with Marcus.
Holland let out a deep breath before walking towards the elevator, Blair wouldn't even realize that she left. She'd have her hands too busy with the Lord to notice her departure. She stepped into the elevator and pressed the button to her family's floor, but before the door closed – someone else climbed in.
She scooted over to the corner of the elevator to make room and he leaned against the back of the elevator. His blue eyes glanced towards Holland's petite body, "Tell me that your night had turned out better than my own."
She shook her head and laughed under her breath, "More like borderline hell bound." She pressed the side of her head against the wooden panel and fluttered her eyelashes at him. She pulled her eyebrows together, "Where's that girl, Vanessa? It seemed like you really liked her."
Nate shrugged his shoulders, "I was planning to break it off with Catherine. To be with Vanessa, but she changed her mind. She told me to stay with Catherine…that she cares about me. Whatever the hell that's supposed to mean."
"She doesn't know what she's missing out on," Holland blushed and he smiled, a dimple indented on his cheek.
He looked down at her, "Saw that blast about Carter. I'm guessing that's the reason behind your horrible night," She nodded her head without making eye contact. She didn't want to look into his eyes and see the pity that she knew they were filled with. She was not a broken toy anymore. "I'm sorry," He whispered.
She swallowed hard before stepping towards him and leaning on her tiptoes, kissing him. He grabbed her face in his hands immediately and raked his fingers through her hair. He pulled away slowly, "I thought that was a onetime thing."
The elevator came to a complete stop and the doors opened, revealing her empty and silent house. She took a step out and pulled him along with her, lacing their fingers together. She leaned up, tracing her thumb along his jawline. "Maybe, I lied," She smirked before crashing their lips together once more.
Author's Note:
Thank you for all the follows, favorites, and reviews on this story so far! I'm glad you're all enjoying it. I have a lot in store for this story and I hope to update more frequently now. Please leave your thoughts!