Fear knowledge not ignorance
Do you know what's comfy?
Ignorance.
Yes ignorance, you can't be bothered by a problem if you don't know about it. I swear in two thousand years the sentence I said the most was "Less you know the better "
I can't even count all the times I had to invent stupid excuses to make entire villages move while I went to slay the spawn of some immortal bear, snake, wolf, cat etc etc.
I mean seriously you have no idea how hard we, so called "gods", work to avoid monsters like the Minotaur or the Hydra becomeing public. Every monster you can find in legends is what I personally call a failure. The half-assed job of some idiot that couldn't move fast enough to stop an uproar.
Like that great piece of shit of my ex-boss Susanoo. Yamata no Orochi grew enough to develop intellect for goodness sake!
But I'm beating around the bush, the point is knowledge isn't always positive; your world gets bigger with every new notion you learn, but none can say if the new segment of your world is going to be good or horrible.
I discovered this lesson at dear price, however SOMEONE HAD YET TO UNDERSTAND THIS NOTION!
"HIIIIIIKKKKKKKIIIIIIIIIII!"
"..."
"HHHIIIKKKKKKKKKIIII! Talk to meeeeee I neeed answeeeerrrrrrssssss"
"Dammit Yuigahama, stop screaming I can't take it anymore, you've been going on since the end of the lessons!"
I said trying to escape from my classmate.
The last few hours had been simply unbearable: from the moment lunch pause ended, I had kept receiving weird stares like I was some sort of exotic animal.
Dammit normies, only because I know a crossdresser, singer, artist, god doesn't mean I'm the same as him!
Of course I tried to ignore them, but that only made the situation worse! Why? Because I had mastered the art of ignoring people so well that I forgot about being in the center of everyone's attention and started nose picking.
So embarrassing!
Oddly enough that disgusted my classmates enough to make them stop bugging me, but that didn't apply for Yuigahama that was already used to my... less charming sides.
"I won't stop until you answer my questions"
She said for the nth time as we moved towards our club room.
At this point my patience was only a mere memory so I simply sighed as deeply as I could and said.
"FINE! You have four questions"
"Only four?"
"Yes, and now you have three"
"What! I didn't ask a single question. Why three?"
"Because you said "only four" as a question. Two by the way"
"Hikki!"
Pouted the girl starting to punch my arm.
"Ugh four questions com'on Yuigahama, we don't have all day"
I told her stopping her fist with my hand.
"How do you know Theois-kun, Hikki?"
She asked without losing a second.
"Archery tournament, I defeated his sister in the semi-finals and him in the finals."
I responded using some real truth before realizing what a mess I had created.
"Archery, wow I didn't know you had practiced a sport"
Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me I didn't think this through!
"Yeah ehe ehe it was a long time ago, next question!"
I said immediately switching topic.
"Uh second question, second question... oh right WHY DID HE KNOW TO USE MAKE-UP BETTER THAN ME!"
Yuigahama suddenly snapped.
"...Eh?"
"I'm girl, he is a boy, how can he use mascara, eyeliner and fard so perfectly! Answer me this question is killing me from inside"
"I don't know, stop being over dramatic"
"Over dramatic? Over dramatic! You know how much practice I needed not to look like a clown, how many Youtube tutorials?"
"...No... should I care? You seem pretty without make up"
"...QUESTION THREE!"
Exclaimed my clubmate all flustered.
Ah Highschoolers. Too easy.
"Why does he know how to drive?"
"Ara?"
What did she just say?
"I met Theois-kun before going to school, he was asking for indication and was onboard of a car that looked very expensive"
"APOLLO!"
I mentally screamed, that idiot was the epitome of flashy, he couldn't pass unnoticed.
Why couldn't he pass unnoticed! If Artemis wasn't next to him I was the one that ended up cleaning after his messes!
"...The car like an orange Ferrari or something?"
I said scanning every corner of my brain to find an excuse.
"yeah I guess..."
"Ah You see he has a butler... probably Apol- I mean Theios was just pulling a prank on you"
"Butler? Theios-kun offered me a lift, there were only two seat in that car"
GODDAMIT!
"He probably wanted you to sit on his lab, I bet he also tried to approach you with a flirt"
I said adapting Apollo's usual behaviour to my lie.
I mean... it wasn't the first time something like that happened, however last time Apollo got shot by a jealous boyfriend... or maybe it was a girlfriend... bha dunno I tended to remove useless info.
"Ah I did! He tried to flirt with me!"
Squeaked Yuigahama moving her hands to cover her face.
"Wait... isn't he, you know"
"Gay?"
I rose an eyebrow.
"Yes"
"Nha, he goes with both sides"
"...really?"
I nodded.
"W-well I-I see"
Stuttered my clubmate becoming red, then crimson, and at the end scarlet.
"...wow I had nearly forgotten how cute flustered, vanilla girls could be? All fault of my stupid coworkers and their weird fetishes"
I thought trying to keep sealed in my mind horrible furry scenes, and other stuff able to scar anyone's mind.
"Com'on Yuigahama last question"
I said patting on her shoulder.
"Fine..."
Smiled the peach haired girl tilting her head a little.
"Hikki why do you seem different?"
...In that moment I felt like a truck had hit me right in the face. For a second my guts twisted, I felt the urge to scream and to punch something.
"Shit, not again"
I thought tightening my fists until the knuckles became white.
I had to get a grip, maintain control. Unfortunately in the back of my head a desperate female voice had already started screaming.
"Why aren't you affected, why!"
"...I don't know what you're talking about Yuigahama"
I said doing my best to ignore the words echoing in my brain.
"...You had already killed them"
Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up.
"I'm always the same person"
I added smiling a bit.
Yeah always the same person... another thousand-year saying this bullshit and I might ending up believing it... I knew what I was.
"Hachiman...you're a monster"
And I would have paid any price to forget it.
"Let's go now, Yukinoshita's waiting"
[Yuikino POV]
Today was what I would have defined an odd day, not because something strange happened to me, but because I happened to hear and see many weird things: first there had been a foreign guy that tried to approach Yuigahama-san, then a song started to resound in the school out of nowhere while the hallways got filled by dancers, after that the music stopped and I gasped the sight of Hikigaya-kun dragging an unconscious body across the school.
Just to be sure to be sure I wasn't sleeping I pinched my own cheek on the spot, and as the red mark on my face could confirm everything I witnessed was apparently real.
During the lunch pause I went to the clubroom as usual hoping to share some information with Yuigahama-san, however she warned me with a text that she couldn't come because she was busy dealing with Ebina-san who had apparently lost huge amounts of blood after observing, and here I quote the text I received: "Some sort of crossdressed pervert trying to make a move on Hikki"
Of course my reaction was something along the lines of "What the F***?" and honestly I believed it was some sort of prank, yet standing to the rumors that had begun to run around the school something similar had definitely happened.
I had to wait until the end of the lessons to be able to actually search some answers and I knew there was only a person whose words would be truthful at 75%. As the bell rang I nearly escaped from my classroom and went in the teachers' room
"Hiratsuka sensei!"
I claimed the woman's attention with a tone vAGuelY louder than usual.
"WHA! Yukinoshita, you gave me a heart attack"
Said sensei extinguishing her cigarette on a no smoking sign.
"Do you want the keys of the clubroom?"
She asked moving to fetch them.
"Yes, but I'm no here for those only"
I replied sighing deeply.
How could I ask: "what the hell happened in your classroom?" Without directly implying-
"Sensei has Senpai been raped?!"
Yeah that...
"Wait Sempai?"
I thought looking towards the door.
Hanging from the wooden frame a breathless Isshiki-san was staring at Hiratsuka-sensei thirsty of answers.
"Oh so two heard about that"
Responded the teacher calmly.
...yes calmly...
"THERE'S NOTHING TO BE CALM ABOUT!"
I mentally screamed while my eyes widened.
"Sensei it really happened?"
"No Isshiki, ugh teenagers always so exaggerated, Hikigaya wasn't raped"
Fuuuuu*
I exhaled
"He was nearly kissed by the new student"
"EH!?"
Gasped Isshiki-san.
"Sensei perhaps I mis-heard"
I said trying to crack a smile out of my face... yeah trying my muscles were like paralyzed.
"Yes I know, I had the same reaction as you two, but hear me out a transfer the first of the two transfer students arrived today, I thought he was a him"
"What?"
"Let me finish Yukinoshita. I thought he was a boy, but he presented himself dressed as a girl. I immediately believed there had been some mistake with the papers, not that big of a deal."
"sensei you mistook a boy for a girl that easily?"
"Hey Isshiki he was pretty committed to the act. He shaved his legs and used make-up...better than I can. Anyway he arrived in class presented himself and suddenly tried to approach Hikigaya."
"Go on..." "Go...on"
"And then nothing Hikigaya suddenly recognized the exchange kid and punched him in the face, end of the story."
"Uh...I never pictured sempai as the violent type"
Said Isshiki-san rubbing her chin.
"Knowing Hikigaya-kun it must have been something pathetically weak"
I commented trying to resolve the error 404 in my brain.
Hikigaya + Punching = #** data not found
"I wouldn't say so Yukinoshita the strike he landed was quite solid, and then there was the flying desk"
"Which flying desk?" "Which flying desk?"
[Hachiman POV]
*thun
"Uh how weird, the clubroom is still closed"
I said to Yuigahama after we had reached the service club room.
"Really? Usually Yukinon would be already brewing tea at his hour. Do you think some teacher needed something from her?"
"probably..."
I responded raising my shoulder.
It wouldn't be strange for some teacher to ask the help of the ice queen of Sobu to deliver papers or something, but given how this whole day was playing I knew another load of troubles was coming in my direction.
"HACHIMAN YOU BASTARD!"
Exactly!
The personification of my trouble a.k.a. Apollo suddenly appeared at the end of the hallway the moment I concluded the narration of my inner thoughts... Did I just broke the fourth wall in a written story...wait are there even other three walls to begin with?
Anyway the blonde God with half canceled mustaches on his face, charged against me,Luckily he wasn't going all out, but still he was moving pretty fast. His red suit was glinting, his green eyes shined of anger, but considering his personality all this "revenge rush" was an act more than anything else.
He just wanted to land a punch on my face and call it even...
"Maybe I should let him hit me"
I thought while Apollo began to throw his fist against my face.
"Nah fuck this asshole"
With one swift movement I deflected aside Apollo's punch with my left forearm and flicked his forehead with my right index.
"Ahw! It hurts dammit, it's the third time you hit me today let me punch you!"
Groaned the god massaging his head under the confused stare of Yuigahama Yui.
She was practically unable to move. Awww she didn't know how to act when Apollo and I were together, her Riajuu skill "read the mood" was useless against us.
"Apollo, learn to throw a punch and then you can hit me without needing me to let you"
I replied with a smug.
Tiny note I had practiced, Karate, Judo and Kung-fu since they began existing... in other terms if anybody wanted to go hand to hand against me... 8 out of 10 it was their funeral.
"You know, sometimes I hate you so much Hachi..."
Said Apollo shaking his head...until he noticed something or to be exact someone.
"Oh Peach girl"
"Uh who? Me?"
Asked Yuigahama taken aback.
"No I meant the other girl behind you"
"...*stare"
Did she seriously turn?
"...I'm peach girl right?"
"Yes... you're, by the way Hachi who is she?"
Asked the gold idiot staring at me.
Why me? I was pretty sure they could introduce themselves without any proble- Oh dear Yuigahama's neurons were still elaborating the "Peach girl".
"Apollo she is Yuigahama Yui, Yuigahama I know he is a classmate, but don't bother about his existence"
I said doing the the most essential presentation possible.
Thing that didn't exactly pleased Apollo.
"Rude I'm Apollo Theois... call me Apollo, or awesome if you like. Ok?"
He winked making Yuigahama blush like crazy.
"FOUND THEM!"
Roared Isshiki suddenly popping out from the stairs.
She looked way more young than the last time I saw her... and with much less beard.
"Geez Loki you used to be so innocent"
I thought before greeting her with my usual:
"Yo"
"Ufffff Sempai you have some explanations to do"
Groaned my kouhai pushing her hands on her knees... uh she was exhausted.
"Isshiki-san don't let the situation become obscene again, I might be forced to call the police"
Said Yukinoshita's voice while its owner joined this small gathering of weirdos.
Now we only missed the teacher without husband and the setting for the next pain in the ass, I mean request was ready.
"...Ugh... wait..". *cough cough "I'm not as athletic as I used to be... give me a break"
Uhm ehm... how say youngsters nowadays oh yes! Called it!
After Hiratsuka-sensei crept her way in the hall way, I was finally able to ask what I've had in my mind since Apollo arrived.
"Sooooooooooooooooooo"
I began studying my nails.
"The hell is going on?"
"Uh" You see" "well"
Isshiki, Yukinoshita and Hiratsuka-sensei started to fidget avoiding to make eye contact.
"Apollo were you sleeping naked?"
"Yes sir"
"Did they offer to make you do a tour of the school?"
" Oh I would have liked that! But no, they just wanted to know how I met you. Remember that tournament of archery where I beat you in the finals"
"Oh bullshit I defeated you"
"What? No"
"Yes!"
"No"
"Yes"
"No"
"Ugh whatever how did you find me?"
"They inadvertently told me the location of your club when I mentioned your drinking problem and the Snow-girl talked about how you have always gobbled in a weird way your tea"
"...then he started running here right"
I asked to the three girls.
They nodded... aha those poor girls had yet to understand how impulsive that dolt could be.
"So there explained how you knew where to find me, I already expected the worst"
I commented throwing a sharp stare to Apollo.
"Com'on I hacked your phone only once"
He immediately went to defend himself leaving all the girls around us astonished.
To be honest his last statement might sound outrageous but considering the usual behaviour of Greek gods "only once" was pretty nice.
"Anyway you want to visit this school or not, let's get moving"
I said to sway away all the attention.
I didn't think it would work out, but luckily Apollo managed to say something able to direct Yuigahama, Yukinoshita, Isshiki and Hiratsuka sensei's attention in a whole other direction.
"Yeah let's do this tour... but tell me Hachi this is what your third harem?"
...dear readers take that "Luckily" You have seen before and throw it out from the fucking window!
"...Hikigaya-kun"
"Hikki"
"Sempai"
"Hikigaya""
"What's with this story?"
Funny how a single question was able to instill in me so much fear... I mean freaking me I have seen plenty scary stuff back in the day, spider-snake, snake-spider...uhm that weird mole under Hephaestus chin and much more.
But I think that in two thousand years I only saw two times, so many killing glares.
At this point my first thought was:" Jump out the window and find a destiny worse than death for Apollo", but then I realized one thing... None of the potentially-very-dangerous-ladies in front of me knew how old I was, and surely none of them was going to believe this story for more than ten seconds!
I didn't even had to explain how the situation was like. I only had to play dumb!
"...which story? I can barely tolerate a person at the time, how could I be in a relationship with multiple people? This guy is just messing with you"
I said remaining as neutral as possible.
The with a quick glance I looked at the blond god and conveyed a simple message.
"Suck it Apollo!"
However the smug on that guy's face made me smell more problems incoming.
"Ah ah ah I'm sorry, I was just pulling a prank on you"
He said smiling and tilting his head a bit.
"But you know, it's just that you filled the parameters."
"Parameters?"
I asked scanning the area for a desk: I mean solid hit worked before, I couldn't see why not now.
"Ah you know... just something Artemis and I put together during a boring flight before a bunch of reindeers forced us to change direction"
Grinned Apollo drawing out from nowhere many papers with various graphics.
"here I personalized, parameters to define how luckyly you're going to fall for someone."
"...Dafuq"
"The pink column represent the face, green column chest, yellow column thighs since you're a man of culture, the orange column for the general sweetness, the blue column for the common interest and my favorite of all the red one that represent how mean she, or he in some cases, is to you, because let's admit it you're a masochist.
Every column can give from zero to fifty points if the total is between 200 and 250 then Hikigaya Hachiman is bound to fall... 251 is already too high everything too perfect is suspicious for this dude"
Explained Apollo tossing the papers towards the girls that with circumspection peaked at the various data.
I should have ranted about how retarded the whole graphic thing was but I was without words.
"Apollo and Artemis messed with HIM for something this stupid?! WITH HIM! Diving in a volcano is smarter than fucking with that man!"
"Apollo...please tell me you have sorted out your problem with him"
I begged the sun god in cold sweat while all the girls were staring at their ankles from different points of view
... wait what was even written after the column graphic? Why it was very likely my ankle fetish had just been revealed to the world?
"Don't worry we had a chat last year, me and the big guy are cool now... or at least I think he doesn't want me dead anymore"
"Dammit Apollo"
"Uhm Hikki can you please explain us why black heeled shoes make the ankle "hotter" than red ones?"
"Apollo..."
"Yes..."
"Start running..."
"...Why?!"
"Because this is the last time you will move on your own legs!"
"...ah ominous... oh fuck he is serious, HE IS SERIOUS!"
And with that being said I spent the rest of the afternoon chasing after Apollo... he wasn't much of a melee fighter... but damn... I had forgotten he was one heck of a runner.
SOMEWHERE IN CHIBA
*drin drin drin
"Yes..."
"Have you find him?"
"Not yet, but I have a track, your son made quite a scene this morning, I want take long to find his chariot"
"Good, but be careful Apollo might have found an ally"
"That Japanese guy?"
"Him... he is dangerous, take him down when you still have the surprise effect"
"What an exaggeration, he is just some normal god"
"..Believe me there is nothing normal about that guy and I just unsealed you after two thousand years, your body is rusty"
" The greatest of all hunters does not rust"
"...say what you want, just bring Apollo back to me seal him if necessary"
" Roger lord Zeus, still... I can't help but wonder what did my old enemy to obtain the wrath of his own father?"
"None of your business"
*Tuuun Tuun Tuuuunnn
"The hunt of Orion shall began"
END OF THE INTRODUCTION ARC
Hello CacciaFulmini here with the fourth chapter of "Eight Banner"
In this last chapter nothing much happens, but there is some foreshadowing for the next chapters.
With that said I hope you enjoyed the chapter.
CacciaFulmini out!