Chapter 4: The Mourning

She heard someone knocking on the door and she stopped. Sami really didn't want to open the door to another well-meaning but ultimately rude and nosey guest. She, Belle and their mother had seen enough of those during the last couple of weeks. All these people had loved John and still sometimes the sheer shock caught Sami off guard. She had spent so many years of her life hating John for something no one should have been blamed for, that Sami now had difficulties grasping the truth: She had loved John too.

Hiding behind the corner like a coward she was, Sami stood still and waited as she heard her mother walk to the door and open it. Sami couldn't see the person but the expression on Marlena's face was something she hadn't expected to see. It must be EJ, Sami had time to think to herself before she saw the tall man step into the penthouse. He said something to Marlena with a low voice and Sami saw her mother unclench her teeth. Her expression softened considerably as Marlena raised a hanky she had all ready drenched for the third time that day and blotted an escaping tear from the corner of her eye and from between the perfect eyelashes covered with waterproof mascara. EJ hesitated before reaching out and offering a dry handkerchief to his mother-in-law. Sami stopped breathing as she witnessed the total meltdown of always so composed doctor Evans Black. Marlena crumbled and EJ was just in time to stop her from falling to the floor. He held the older woman patiently in his arms as she leaned on him and cried her heart out once more.

The door was opened again when Belle walked in. Sami wanted to move but her feet felt like lead and so she stayed and spied as the others cried and consoled each other. Again Sami was left out as her family bonded and even leaned on the man who had brought this terrible fate on them. What had been left intact of Sami's heart shattered when little Claire made her way to the group and demanded to be held. As now Belle and Marlena were keeping each other upright, EJ raised the little girl to new heights and gave her a loving hug.

Sami couldn't take it any longer. She had to show herself and become part of this obscure play. She quivered and pulled herself back to the shadows when EJ gave Claire back to her mother and nodded to the two women. He said something and waited to be pointed to the right direction. Sami followed his shadow with her eyes as EJ made his way to the twins room. Taking a deep breath and wishing herself invisible Sami followed him silently. She stood outside of the nursery door and peeped in. She saw EJ admiring the sleeping babies and heard him sighing deep. Then she heard his soft voice and that accent which made her shiver. He spoke about his day and about the house to the children. EJ described the panels he had uncovered and the story behind the layers of those years covering them. He told them how he had spent the long hours at the house working until utter exhaustion, but even that wasn't enough to keep him away from his precious children. As Sami heard him say those three little words she witnessed an expression of desperation reach his face.

"You do know that in the end, biology is nothing", EJ said and Sami realised he was talking to her.

"That's the thing that scares me the most", Sami replied and stepped through the door into the room where he could see her. Only then did she realise how thin and weak did he look. Skin and bones and nothing else was his body. Gulping and thinking back to happier times Sami remembered how divine his body had been and how his tight muscles had quivered when he moved. This man who was standing in front of her now, was nothing more than a frame of his old self.

"Have you eaten?" Sami asked trying to evict the concern from her voice. He shook his head and turned his gaze back to sleeping twins.

"I'd hold them if I wasn't afraid of waking them", EJ suddenly said with a dull, lopsided smile.

"If you would hold them, I'd be scared that you might drop them", Sami said sharply stepping closer to him and the cradle. Softening her tone she asked:

"When was the last time you slept?" The dark shadows under his eyes spoke a language of their own. When he opened his mouth to lie or to distract her, she silenced him with a movement of her hand.

"You can sleep here tonight", Sami said and continued with an explanation, "I can't let you get back on the road on a night like this when you are as tired as you are."

"So you do care after all", he snorted with a smirk plastered on his lips.

"I just don't want your death on my conscience", she deflected.

"If you say so", EJ surrendered to her will all too easily and asked, "Where?"

"My room is across the hall", as he arched his brow Sami said, "Don't get any ideas. I'll be sleeping here with the children or downstairs on the sofa." She didn't need to finish the sentence by saying: "Anywhere but with you." EJ nodded and walked to the door. He turned to look at her once more.

"Goodnight", he said and walked away leaving Sami to shiver.

A/N Upcoming chapters or some of them will include smut. Consider yourselves warned.