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Chapter 4 Truth or Dare.

"What was that all about?" Damon asked surprised.

I was silent for a minute. His tone.. Was.. I hate him.

A few minutes of lapse of judgment is what the past 10 minutes were. I should be more careful and not let myself slip. I promised we'd stay friends but it's hard, plus I didn't mean it. Not one bit.

So, slowly as I turned to face him I could feel myself slipping into my cold self again.

"I'll tell you what that's all about- none of your God damn business is what it is."

I walked past him and inside Alex's room as the nurse slipped out.

I walked towards his bed and sat down on a chair next to it.

I held his hand gingerly in my hand.

"Alex.." I could feel the tears forming in my eyes again and this time I let them fall.

The next words I said were the toughest. I wasn't one to stutter in speeches but this time I did after almost every word as I failed miserably at controlling my tears.

"It was very difficult. To just leave, without telling anyone. Without any trace of me. The first thing I did was look for my birth mother."

That was one of the most sensitive issues I had. That and obviously my family issues were all the issues I had. Of course Damon knew, I used to blab about it to him. Like I said, he knew all my secrets, I've known him for years. And why did my thoughts drift to him? That's because he entered the room. Again.

"Can you please give me and my brother a moment alone?" I said a little harshly.

I wanted all my life's details to myself as much as possible and Damon had a habit of walking in on all these kind of conversations. It's like he could hear that I was going to say something he didn't want to hear. I know, it's stupid.

"Not at all." He replied just as harshly.

He was about to walk out when Alex stopped him and said "he doesn't have to go."

"Alex, I'll-" Damon started.

"No." Alex replied. What is up with these two? "You'll find out through me anyway." Did they share everything? Does Alex know he cheated on me?

Damon took his seat behind me, thank God he couldn't see me otherwise I would never be able to continue.

"Carry on" Alex said coldly.

I expected at least a little empathy from Alex If not both of them.

They knew how hurtful that topic was.

"I.. found her. I had always cursed her for leaving me. For abandoning me and giving me up. My life's been a shithole. Obviously that's what I thought with my life in a downwards spiral.. what with the running away and all." I gave a little laugh. "But if you really asked me, I'm glad she gave me up. I got you and some of my best moments with you and Damon even if they didn't last long." I paused took a deep breath. "My mother.. is in the Erasmus asylum. She's a mental patient who believes in a whole new world full of vampires and never wanted me because she claimed I was one of the demon's child. She remembers his name as Raymond. Whose probably my father, I tried looking for him but came to dead end. What's the point? What am I going to say to him? I don't even think I'm strong enough to see or face him let alone talk to him. It took everything in me to go see her."

I heard Damon shift in his seat when I took Raymond's name and Alex had paled to an extreme.

I still wore my outfit from the concert.

I pointed to my heart and said "The first thing she did when I told her I was her daughter is try to stake me."

"Anyway, I always have this tick in my head, it keeps ticking.. like a clock. Makes me want to kill myself at the slightest opportunity when life doesn't go accordingly." My hands started shaking. "It comes to no surprise that I inherited my mother's suicidal tendencies. All I want to tell you by this is that you have me standing in front of you. I became a singer so that I have something to live for. So that I don't do anything rash because I have to return to the people who love me. Return to you. So next time.. if you go down, remember that you'll take me down with you."

"Come here sis" Alex whispered and I embraced him.

It felt oddly comfortable as we both hugged and cried.

I pulled back and said "Promise me you won't do anything like this ever again"

"Only if you promise not to leave me and Damon."

Damon. I sighed.

"I promise I won't ever leave you"

He hugged me not realizing that I had meant only him and not Damon.

I actually very much wanted Damon but. He cheated on me. And I can't forget that. Ever.

I heard the door open and I turned and latterly choked on my own saliva.

"What- what are you guys doing here?" I hurriedly cleaned up my face as my entire crew came and hugged me one by one.

"Your mate here called us and told us what happened. Why didn't you tell us? We would've come with you for moral support." Said Matt.

I glared at Damon and said "It wasn't any of his business but I'm glad you all are here."

What else should I have said to my crew members? Anyway it's not like I was going to leave anytime soon. Anger once again rose in me reminding me of how much I hated him.

"I'm starved." Said Davis.

"What would you like?" I asked.

"Not crappy hospital food."

"You guys do know it's pretty late and we all need to go home because we're not allowed." I said.

"Hell, no body can touch us, we're rock stars" said Matt teasingly hugging me.

"Ahem" my brother said.

"Oh guys this is Alex, my brother."

"What have you done man? That's no way to party, beer is what I'd suggest." Star joked big time.

"Hey! No spoiling him!" I lightly pushed Star away.

"Alex, these are my crew members, Star, Davis and Matt" I pointed at them.

"Girl, Mandy's gonna be mad."

"I know" I sighed. "But what they hay, I love seeing our manager fume with anger" I winked.

"Let's party tonight like we always do after a concert."

"No.. I don't want to leave-"

"Yeah go ahead sis." Added Alex "I think I'm going to sleep anyway. Have fun!"

"Thanks Alex" I kissed his forehead.

"How are you all going to fit in my car?" I asked.

"I have my car too." Added Damon. For a second I had forgotten that he was there and now I was painfully reminded of him.

Before I could protest everyone said "Let's go."

We all walked out.

We got in our cars and I noticed that Damon had a huge jeep- hummer now.

I was tempted to say nice ride but I was supper pissed at him.

For everything he did.

We walked into a diner open at this hour and ordered food.

It wasn't crowded at all.

I don't know how we got on this topic as we sat on a round table but we did.

Damon stayed quiet through most of the meal and I had tuned most things out till I heard that sentence.

I didn't even know what the topic was but could you blame me? I had a lot on my mind.

"Yeah it's her old habit to run away from her problems rather than face them. I would know."

"Excuse me? And this is coming from a man who cheated on his girlfriend?" I said suddenly. Not caring about anything, not even about my crew finding out. But that just got my blood boiling. Who the hell does he think he is?

"I did not cheat on my girlfriend!" he shouted back at me.

"I saw you!" I replied in the same tone.

"Wait you're his girlfriend?" asked Matt in a surprised tone.

"Ex girlfriend." I emphasized.

Ignoring Matt, Damon continued. "What you saw wasn't true and you didn't care enough to ask me or talk to me! You, just conveniently, disappeared after a very reckless act."

My throat was going to give in, I was angry. But if I learned anything when I was away is that no one is yours so showing your true emotions would be useless to someone who doesn't cares.

If my so called disappearance had made him cold, I was right behind him.

Closing my fists under the table I said "There was nothing to talk about! I saw you! And it was for the best. And if you think that was a reckless stunt then you don't know me!"

"For the best?" He said sarcastically "yeah right!"

"Yes it was. Look where I am. A famous star!"

"With no one who cares or you care about."

"Oh really? Cause from where I sit, I see my band mates, my siblings and more than one million fans that I care about and that care about me!"

He sat there quietly and I realized I was letting him get on my nerves. So I said the last cruel thing I could say to the man I loved deeply and who according to me cheated on me. I knew it wouldn't work. He was after all a playboy.

"And I also see the people who care about you..." I looked around. "Hmm no one."

"You don't know anything" Of course I knew he had a lot of people as well but at the moment I was pissed. "I don't regret a single second of it though. I wouldn't want life any other way."

I glared at him and said to my band mates. "I don't know what his problem is. He has my sister now. He should be happy."

"He doesn't look happy girl." Said Star.

"Who cares?" I said.

For the rest of the time he sat there quietly.

We ordered alcoholic drinks.

"I'm going to skip this time" I said, trying not to get anyone's attention. But who am I kidding.

"Why not? You always do it with us." Said Star.

"Not up to it tonight" I said again.

"Oh come on, for old times. We always do it." Said Matt.

Before Davis could say anything Damon said in a very threatening manner "Don't force her."

Why did he care?

So, I, like always, got drunk with my band.

We met a few people.

"Check please." I asked.

"I'll pay" Damon said quietly.

"No thank you. Keep your money. I don't let anyone other than my boyfriend or husband pay."

I handed our server my company credit card too drunk to fish for money.

"Madam its already paid by that young gentleman. She pointed at a good looking man. I waved and mouthed a thank you.

I was used to my fans paying for me.

"What happened to 'I don't let anyone pay other than my boyfriend or husband'?"
"Don't you ever shut up?" I said, surprised that my hatred had sobered me up to answer him angrily enough.

Still not feeling drunk enough we headed to the beach with bottles.

As my team ran wildly I slowed my pace.

Slowly drinking away in the dark.

The water seemed so peaceful unlike what I felt.

I looked up to the starry sky that formed a canopy above my head.

Soon the group sat in a circle.

"Let's play truth and dare now." Said Star.

It was our tradition you could say.

We played almost all the time we got drunk.

I drank all the remaining contents in the bottle.

"Sober up" I screamed and we laughed like crazy people.

I put my empty bottle down on the floor and spin it.

Damon was sitting awfully close to me and quite.

It stopped at Star.

"Truth or dare?" I asked.

"Dare duh!" He replied.

"Kiss any guy here." I said

"oh man that's gay!" Said Matt.

"That's it?" Star asked.

"Yup!" I said with a popping me.

"Ok" and he kissed Davis without hesitation.

We hooted. He sure has guts.

"Darling you forget I'm gay" and we all laughed like crazy as Davis cursed.

I spun the bottle again.

It stopped on me.

"Truth or dare." Asked Matt.

"Dare duh!" I laughed.

"I don't think this is a good idea.." Whispered Damon in my ear.

"I don't care what you think." I whispered back.

"Swim to that float you see." Matt pointed.

"Preferably shirtless." The pervert Davis added. Davis was a complete pervert when he was drunk and the most sober and responsible otherwise. He was like a brother to me.

I rolled my eyes. "One dare at a time boys."

Keeping my cloths on I walked to the open ocean.

I put my feet in and whined. "It's cold!"

Drunk, I stumbled forward and screamed "if I die tell my fans I loved them" and I giggled.

It was freezing. But this was the fun with my band.. We were always carefree and careless. We never feared death. For we had nothing to lose.

Slowly I swam all the way to the float and climbed it.

I waved at them happily.

They hooted.

I was tired.

I sighed and wrapped my arms around myself.

It was really cold!

I jumped back into the water and made my way to the shore.

As I reached the shore Star and Davis were totally passed out.

Matt patted my back. "Well done."

"Thanks Matt but I'm exhausted." He put his jacket on me.

"Wanna crash?" Matt suggested.

"Defiantly!"

"The house isn't far away." Added Damon.

Oh right. I forgot how close our places were from the beach.

"But what's the fun in that?" I replied bitchly as my memories made themselves clear.

"It's safer!" He replied as if it was the obvious thing. Which it was.

"Who cares? What's life without a little danger? I'll tell you. It'll be boring. Plus I'm used to being in danger. After all I am homeless."

"Don't say that." He replied sounding all emotional.

I felt my heart swell.

"More truth or dare?" Asked Matt.

I turned to him and said "Sure!" I giggled totally wasted.

Me, Matt and Damon sat in a circle.

Awkward no?

Oh well.

I spun the bottle again.

The bottle stopped at Damon this time.

"Truth or dare?" Asked Matt. I didn't want anything to do with this.

"Truth." He looked at me.

The way he said it snapped something in me. I wanted to know. It kills me every time I think about it.

"Why?" I heard myself say before I could stop myself. "Why did you cheat on me? What did I do to deserve this? How could you?" My voice died in the end.

Before he could say anything I got up saying "never mind. It doesn't matter." I turned only to freeze at what I saw.

Please review. Do you guys think I'm going to fast revealing secrets?

Cuz this book sure isn't going the way I planned it.

Review please. It's a long chapter.

Loads of love, Zoya.