AN: HI NEW FOLLOWERS! *waves awkwardly* You guys are awesome!
Hope you love the new chapter, this one will have some sexy times in it so you are now forewarned. Have fun!
Disclaimer: Still not mine and I am not making any money
Dean awoke in a panic, his breath catching in his throat as he quickly sat up trying desperately to remember how he ended up in his bed. And how he ended up sleeping through the night with a dreamless sleep. It all came trickling back slowly, Cas. He bit back a snarl as he threw off his covers and stalked out of his bedroom and into the main hall of the Bunker to see Cas and Sam eating breakfast.
"Did you whammy me?" Dean exclaimed, pointing an accusing finger at the fallen angel who kept his attention on a piece of toast he was eat.
"You're weren't sleeping," Castiel stated with a slight shrug. "I remedied the problem."
"And your drinking again Dean," Sam pipped up, pointing to the small trash can that had an empty whisky bottle half buried under their kitchen trash.
"So what ok? You ask first!" He yelled at Cas, stomping off to the bathroom with the intent of washing the taste of whisky and sleep from his mouth.
Dean looked at himself in the bathroom mirror as he turned off the water and rinsed his mouth. He looked better than he had in days, less haggard and the lines under his eyes were less pronounced.
The brand on his arm throbbed as it made its presence known to its owner, and Dean sighed. He pulled some semi-clean pants from a pile on counter and walked out, walked past Sam, walked past Cas and to the bunker door which he then slammed shut behind him.
The air was crisp and chill, he wrapped his arms around him as he walked berating himself for not bringing a coat with him as the wind drove through the worn hoodie that had become attached to him since he had received the Mark.
Dean wasn't even walking on the road, he found himself in the woods, the trees a dizzying height above him. But it was quiet and he could think; or not think, whatever the case maybe.
With each burning pain his eyes flashed white and his ears rang, but slowly and horrifyingly the ringing in his ears had been turning to sounds. But not just any sound, but screams, panicked and agonizing screams. Sounds he knew too well, sounds he had ripped from other people.
Dean was hearing hell. It was happening all over again and he brought this one on himself. For a moment he swore he could feel the fires of the pit licking at his feet, though his booted feet were nearly numb from the cold.
Heaving a breath of the cold air, he leaned against a tree as the pain in his arm became almost unbearable. The hunter let out a loud gasp of pain, allowing himself the freedom of vocalizing his hurt with no one around that could hear it. His finger nails drew crescent shaped indentations in his skin as he tried desperately to hold on until the wave passed.
Dean screwed his eyes shut tightly, attempting to block the sickening sounds from getting to him and has hands flew to his ears in a feeble attempt to mute the screaming.
"No, please," he groaned. "Not again."
"Let me help you," Came a concerned, rough voice from behind him.
Dean spun around, almost loosing his footing. He must really be off today, he should have heard him.
"Go the fuck home Cas," he snapped, taking a few more staggering steps, trying precariously to regain his footing as the pain pulses white hot light behind his eyelids.
The leaves crunched as Castiel grabbed his shoulders and helped him to sit shakily on the forest floor.
"I don't need your help," Dean slurred, his eyes slammed shut against the onslaught.
"Yes I can tell," Cas spat, squatting down to Dean's level. "Open your eyes and look at me."
Despite himself, Dean found himself starring at the angel though he felt vulnerable in doing so, the pain, the fear and everything in between swam dangerously close to the surface.
"I can hear it Cas," He sputtered, blinking rapidly in the early morning light.
Castiel tilted his head, "Hear what Dean?"
"Hell," He grunted sharply, gritting his teeth as he spoke the words. "I swear I could feel the goddamn heat, the screaming is in my head like I am right there holding the damn poker."
Dean was keenly aware that he was holding onto Castiel like he was the only lifeboat on a sinking ship, the tan trench coat bunched through his fingers as he refused to relent and Cas did nothing to stop him.
"Its not real Dean, its just the Mark," Cas soothed, his voice low and steady as he tried unsuccessfully to calm the tortured man. "I told you this would interact with you differently than Cain, he told you there would be consequences."
"I know goddammit!" Dean blurted out between grinding teeth. He isn't sure how it happened but he ended up pitching forward, kneeling in the damp, leaf littered floor with his head pressed into Cas's shoulder and his hands gripping his trench coat for all he was worth.
"Don't let them take me back Cas," He whispered brokenly, wishing he never had to utter the words. Because then it made them real. "I know I fucking deserve it ok? For Kevin, for Sam. For everything I have ever done but please, please don't let them take me back there."
Cas was silent, his hands releasing his shoulders and instead moving to circle him, one hand on the back of Dean's neck at the base of his hairline.
"Your anger, the pain you are feeling, the screaming," Cas started, slowly and as if he didn't wish to continue. "The moment I saw you cut down those vampires, I knew my fears had been founded."
Dean risked a look up at the angel, "What do you mean?"
The hunter felt the angel pull away and take his arm. Dean winced as he pulled the sleeve up to the raised brand and a hiss broke free as the angel set his hand over the Mark.
Relief washed over him in waves and his knees would have buckles had Castiel not been there, supporting him. He could hear his ragged breathing, the loss of pain was almost to the point of ecstasy and Cas's cooling touch rained over him even stronger than the last time.
He knew he was probably close to tearing Castiel's coat but he couldn't find himself caring at the moment and the thrumming in his ears died down and all that was left was a warm pit in the feeling of his stomach.
As soon as the angel let go Dean opened his eyes, untangling his fingers from the coat and stammering out a nearly impossible apology.
"That was...intense," Dean stuttered awkwardly, feeling desire pooling in the pit of his stomach. He told himself it was just the grace and the lack of pain.
Even Castiel looked a bit winded, "I needed to expend more grace this time. I am doing all I can to help slow the Mark's hold on you."
"Not that I'm not grateful Cas, because I am," Dean stated, looking at his feet. "But aren't you just delaying the inevitable? I'm heading on a one way ticket to Hell and theres nothing I can do about it." It hurt to say that, it hurt more to realize how fucked he was and that he believed every word he said.
"Dean you don't understand," Cas exclaimed, waiting for Dean to meet his eyes, the wind ruffling his hair as his piercing eyes went right through the hunter. "I am not worried about you going to Hell. I am worried that you will end up ruling it."
SPNSPNSPN
The walk back to the Bunker was painfully silent.
Dean was still reeling from what Cas had said and Cas was staying blissfully quiet, only the crunch of the foliage beneath their feet and the few scattering birds that sang overhead could be heard.
It was Dean that finally broke their hushed silence only a few feet away from the Bunker's entrance.
"Why didn't you just zap us back?"
"My powers are still weak, flying you both to the barn and back has weakened me. And I am having to use more of my grace each time I try to heal you as much as I am able."
"Oh," Dean nodded, "You don't have to ya know. Heal me. I can manage, fuck knows I've been through worse."
"Just because you've been through worse doesn't mean you should have to handle it on your own Dean," Castiel sighed. He opened the Bunker door and waited for Dean to walk through before he did so himself, shutting and locking the heavy door behind him.
They stopped at the bottom of the stairs, Dean willing himself to look at the angel fully. A soft glow still emanated from the celestial being, creating a halo around his tussled, windblown hair.
He cocked his head, the glow moving with him. "What is it Dean?"
The older Winchester shook himself, blinking rapidly. "Nothing, sorry. I'm uh, going to lay down."
Castiel followed close at his heels. "I can help you sleep."
Dean stopped, "No, just laying down. Resting. I've got shit to do today, I just need to think." And with that he walked away from Castiel and into his room, the click of the lock resounding down the hall.
SPNSPNSPN
Dean sat on the edge of his bed, his fingers grasping loosely at a half empty liquor bottle. The sloshing amber liquid rolling around the glass as he contemplated taking another drink, just to take the edge off. The bottle almost smashed to the floor as a timid knock sounded at his door.
"What?" He called, stuffing the bottle under the bed as soon as the door started to crack open. He didn't have time for Sam or Cas's AA bullshit right now.
It was Cas, his trench coat still wrinkled from where he had gripped him so tightly earlier.
"I just came to check on you, Sam has asked if I will accompany him to the grocery store and I wanted to know if you needed anything," Cas explained, scanning the room and his eyes resting on Dean's feet, where the bottle sat just a few inches underneath the bed.
Dean shook his head, following Cas's gaze. "Naw I'm good man."
With a hesitant nod, Cas turned to leave.
"You glow," Dean stated, the words falling out his mouth in a hurry. He closed his eyes in humiliation as he realized what he had just spat out.
"I beg your pardon?" Cas asked bewildered, his forehead drawn in confusion as he turned to face the tired hunter.
"You glow, after you heal me," Dean explained, "And when you're pissed."
The angel made his way over to where the hunter was sitting and joined him on the bed, looking troubled.
"How long have you been seeing me this way?" Castiel asked, almost angrily.
"I dunno," Dean shrugged. "Since the barn."
Cas growled, "And you are just now bringing this to my attention?"
"I didn't know it was a big deal alright?" Dean exclaimed in self defense.
"You are beginning to see my true form Dean! Only other celestial beings or the highest ranked of Hell are able to do so."
"Well I guess thats starting to make sense then," Dean muttered, his eyes falling to his forearm.
"Why didn't you say something sooner?"
Dean willed himself to drag his eyes to the angels, "Because Cas," he sighed. "You feel...pure. Everything you are is fucking bright goddammit, I needed that ok? I didn't want you to take it away."
Dean felt like an idiot after the words left his mouth, he was talking to his best friend here, and not only a male but an angel. An angel that only two days ago had him pinned to the wall of a barn with the force of his mind.
By the time Dean looked up Castiel had moved back to his spot on the bed next to him, determination apparent on his solemn features.
"Dean, what do you see right now?"
Dean blinked a few times, trying to focus. But there was nothing, no glow, no wings. As he stared at the angel in front of him he realized that there was something; the way his hair was disheveled and his complete lack of care about it, his eyes were so fucking blue the sky should be ashamed. He had a few more lines under his eyes than he had when they had first met, his lips were rough and chapped, like someone who stood outside on a cold day too long. And he was fucking beautiful.
"Shit."
"What? What do you see?"
Dean brought his wide eyes up, balling his hands in his lap as he dared uttered the words that were on the tip of his tongue.
"Just you, Cas. I see you." And with that, the hunter leaned in and placed a chaste, closed lip kiss on the chapped lips of the seraph.
Castiel sat still, his back rigid but his eyes had slipped closed for the kiss that had barely lasted a moment.
When Cas opened his eyes Dean sat back quickly, "Shit, Cas I'm sorr-"
Lips pressed against Dean's, swallowing his apologies as the angel pushed him back onto the bed. Even without his superior strength, Dean went willingly. He felt Cas's hands roam from his chest and move to cup his face while the other racked blunt fingernails through his hair and scalp, causing Dean to moan brokenly into the bruising kiss.
"Cas we shouldn't do this," He groaned and even as the words were escape his lips, he grasped the tan trench coat and pulled the angel's body flush with his, his hips grinding into the man's above him inciting a delicious friction.
"You're right," Cas replied, peppering Dean's jawline with hurried kisses, moving down to his neck as his teeth sank into the tender skin it found there. "We should have done this long ago."
Moaning as the angel continued to nip at his neck, Dean wrapped his fingers around strands of the brown, wild hair urging him on.
Dean felt his body rocking up to grind against Cas, the other man gasping as the sensations overwhelmed him.
"Cas I need-"
"Hey Cas you ready to go- holy shit!" Sam cried, the door swinging open and sight causing the tall man to jump and turn, covering his eyes and stuttering. Both men were tangling up in each other, the angel straddling his brother while sucking on the others neck. He did not need to hear those types of groans coming from either of them.
"I'm so fucking sorry-wait seriously?" he turned incredulously around only to cover his eyes again. "Just come out so we can go, or whatever. Shit!"
The door slammed behind Sam Winchester as he made his hurried escape.
Dean had stilled immediately, painfully aware of his hand that was rest dangerously close to Cas's ass and his other tangled in the brunettes hair.
Castiel sat up, face red and lips swollen. "Well,' he started, looking anywhere but the older Winchester. "That was unfortunate timing."
Dean groaned.
SPNSPNSPN
AN: I'm exhausted but I stayed up late to finish up this chapter for you all, so I hope you like it! Next chapter will probably be a little more mature, so be ready! PLEASE I love feedback and CC and I really appreciate all the support I have been getting. You all are amazing!