Chapter Four

I woke up the next morning in my own bed. It felt like my head was being drilled from the inside. I was wearing the last remaining shards of my dress and half naked. I felt a throbbing pain in my neck and reached up to feel a puffy contusion. Then it hit me. I slept with him. I fucked him. I had sex with a monster. Within a matter of a week, this person had completely ruined my life and I had the audacity to let him touch me.

I didn't remember details of our episode, but I did remember enjoying it. That was the part that made me feel like I had to run to the bathroom. I bolted out of bed and wretched into the bathroom sink, hard. I splashed my face with cold water and rinsed my mouth out. Did this make me a part of the mob? I got a man killed last night. Granted, this man tried to date rape me, but still. I got him killed.

I looked up into the mirror and saw the person staring back at me. My eyes were sunken in, I had hickies all over my neck. I barely recognized myself. I could have gotten Corrine hurt. I should never had done this business with her there. What was I thinking? I couldn't believe how many mistakes I had made in the past week. All I wanted at this point was a hit. The sobriety was starting to seem overrated. But I couldn't let him have that part of me. No way.

I ran the shower as hot as I could and got in. I scrubbed my skin until I start to bleed. I couldn't get him off of me. Why was this happening? Only days ago, I was happy. I had an amazing career, I was heading to the top. Then because of one wrong move, I was now a slave. Sure I was getting paid, but spying on and setting up gangsters for the benefit of another gangster was not the career choice I had in mind.

I got out of the shower and threw on a black tank top and pj shorts. I ran over to Corrine's apartment and starting slamming on the door. She answered with a bowl of cereal in her hand and her mouth full.

"Hey!" She said with milk spilling out.

"Hey. You okay?" I asked. She eyed me suspiciously.

"Yeah? Why wouldn't I be?" She asked.

"I wasn't sure if you were okay, I had to leave…" I started to say.

"Yeah, Mr. Hall Hottie was at the club and said you had to leave early due to your new job. He offered to take me home." She said smiling.

"Oh. Yeah, well that's good. Did he give you any trouble?" I asked.

"No…" She said as she brushed my long hair aside. She smiled wide.

"Did someone get laid last night?!" Corrine yelped. I shuddered.

"No. Just a little fooling around." I lied. Just as I was getting ready to break down and tell her everything, I saw Jeff coming towards my apartment.

"Jeff? What are you doing here?" I asked.

"Whoa." Corrine said between bites.

"Hi Leah. Just dropping by. Saying hi." He said.

"Um, yeah. Okay. Want to come in?" I asked. He nodded and headed into my apartment.

"I'll talk to you later okay?" I asked Corrine as she winked and headed back into her apartment. I walked into my place and shut the door. I double locked it.

"Paranoid much? This is a nice neighborhood, I don't think…." Jeff started to say.

"Yeah, I am paranoid like you said. Now what do you want?" I asked.

"Listen, I feel bad about how you and I started things. It was my fault." He said.

"Yeah, I am sure you feel bad. Now. I am not there anymore so you basically got my job. Of course you want things to be cool." I said as I leaned against my kitchen counter.

"No it's not that...I really do feel bad. But you seemed...upset when you left. I know you weren't fired. What happened Maran?" He asked. I shook my head. "What the hell is that on your neck? Looks like something bit you. Are you okay?" He asked as he brushed aside my hair. I pulled back and started making coffee.

"It's nothing. Want some coffee?" I asked.

"Yeah sure. Black." He said as he set down his messenger bag and sat down at my bar. We talked most of the morning and as it turned out, Jeff wasn't a bad guy. It just happened to be that we were a lot like. Both headstrong and stubborn. He made me laugh, considering the circumstances. For a few hours, he made me forget about the stress I had been carrying.

"Listen, there is a show tonight at my friends cafe. You like jazz?" He asked.

"Yeah, just so happens I do." I said smiling. He smiled back and ran a hand through his long hair.

"Awesome. Well, I will swing by around nine, that good?" He asked. I nodded and he flashed me his incredible smile. Just then, my phone buzzed. I received a text message that I didn't even want to open.

Get rid of him. Now. -J

I panicked and wondered how the hell he knew Jeff was in my apartment. Was he watching me? Another text buzzed through.

You look adorable this morning. I don't want to mess up your look with male model blood this early…-J

I looked up, behind Jeff's shoulder. The Joker was standing on my balcony. I quickly looked away and jumped off of my barstool. Jeff eyed me curiously.

"Hey, you okay?" He asked.

"Yeah, I am fine. Listen I should get some sleep, it was a long night. Pick me up tonight?" I said.

"Yeah. I will see you later." Jeff said as he smiled and left my apartment. I went to my balcony and opened the door. I looked around the patio and fire escape, no Joker. I headed back inside and turned around to look outside. Where did he go? All of the sudden I felt two cold hands run down my arms from behind me. He growled into my ear and shivers rose up my back.

"Who was the hipster?" He asked, in almost a threatening tone.

"That's none of your business." I said as I wiggled out of his grip to face him. He laughed and without warning, grabbed me by the throat.

"I beg to differ. You work for ME. I have a right to know who my employees associate with. Especially the ones I am fucking." he growled. The truth was, he terrified me. I tried to act fearless around him. He took my career and freedom, but he couldn't have my pride. It made me sick that I let him touch me in the way that he did the night prior. If I would have just been more mindful, I would have never have been drugged. I would have known better.

I choked as my eyes watered. He grinned and released me.

"So was last night as good for you as it was for me?" He asked as he took out his phone.

"No. Not even in the slightest." I said as I clutched my throat. He flashed his evil smile at my direction.

"That's not what you said at the time…." He said. I quivered in disgust. "Come on toots, you know you liked it." He said as he approached me. He took a strand of my hair into his fingers and I could taste his breath on mine. "I'll bet no one has made you scream like I did." He said in a deep tone. I eyed with a look of pure hate and he loved it. He knew he was right. I knew he was right. But I wouldn't give that to him. "So let's try again. Who is the douche bag?" he asked.

"He is...he was a co-worker. His name is Jeff." I said, omitting the part about me going out with him tonight.

"I see. And he asked you out on a date for tonight, yes?" He replied. I looked down. Well, there goes that. "I am giving you orders to go so lose the frown. The bar next door is owned by Louie Zalone. Son of a bitch owes me twenty five k. I need someone to get me the access code to his back office. He is a sucker for blondes." The Joker said as he texted someone on his phone.

"Why can't you have one of your guys do it?" I asked as I folded my arms.

"Because. This ugly mother fucker knows what all of my guys look like. He and he beefsteaks will spot em'." He said, clearly getting agitated by my arguing.

"And what makes you think he will let me anywhere near his office?" I said.

"He takes all of his broads back there. Just flirt for a few minutes and he will cave. Got it?" He asked as he eyed me.

"Yes. When do I get paid?" I asked.

"Already deposited the first three months salary into your account. You're welcome." He said as he shoved his phone back into his pocket. "Then maybe after a job well done, I can come back here and we can…" He said as he reached in to kiss me. I shoved him away.

"What happened last night, it won't happen again." I said as I kept a hand on his bare chest. He growled in a lustful way.

"Yeah, we'll see." he said as he trailed a finger down my sternum. Chills went up and down my spine. The same way they did when I was high. The feeling terrified me. As quick as he came in, he was gone. I scoffed in disgust. I noticed as he left, my entire body was hot. The heat radiated off of every inch of me. I suddenly felt ill and I threw up in the sink. What was happening to me? I started to cry. Nothing felt real anymore. Everything felt as if it imploded and I was surrounded by ruins. I pulled my sweatshirt over my head and set the alarm on my phone. I let the tears flow as I curled into a ball and fell asleep in my polluted bed.