Stupid Woman, I Love You!

By MaturePopcorn

Description: Hiro has always disliked Tohru with a passion. From before he even met her, in fact. To him, she was always his competition in his fight to win Kisa over. But when he begins to see her in a very different way, all hell in the Sohma family will break loose.

WARNING: I don't like repeating myself, thank you. If you've made it this far, you know the warning by heart.

Author's note: Well, it is precisely 2:04 A.M. and I have no food or water in my room. I have to go outside to forage, and if I wake someone up

DEATH

will fall upon me. So let's NOT do that… Tomorrow I'll remember the necessities for an all-nighter. Gotta pack up better than fucking Katniss! (?) Especially if I'm gonna do two in a row... So, anyways, if I start hallucinating, I may postpone the story for a few days. So I'll try to keep it under control. And I'll stop starting all my sentences with "so" for some reason. …What? 'K enjoy the story! So, I'm gonna go before I hurt myself in my exhausted state…

~Kisa Alvarez

Chapter 4

Hiro said nothing. He just looked at Tohru, who he was now on top of AGAIN, and stared. Then he took a long, deep breath, held it for a second, and began a looong string of cussing in sheep.

"BAAAAAAAAAAAAH! BAH BAAAAH!" "Grrr…! Stupid woman! Why do I have to love YOU of all people?!" "Baaaaaahhh!"

Tohru watched him for a second, blank faced, blinking, before she started laughing so hard she was crying.

Yuki and Shigure burst in quickly. "M-Miss Honda?!"

"Tohru-kun, are you alright?"

"I'M GOING TO BED DAMNIT!"

"…Did anyone ask you…?"

Tohru stopped laughing for a second to breath, holding a super-confused, super-pissed Hiro. Before she could say anything, she blushed a little and started laughing again.

"Miss Honda, did you hurt yourself? Did you hit your head on something?"

Shigure, who for once was NOT being stupid, was genuinely concerned. "Tohru-kun, should we get you to a doctor? I'll call Hatori…"

Tohru stopped laughing and took a deep breath. "N-No! I'm fine… I just… It was so cute, I couldn't help myself!"

Hiro looked like he'd been shot. Panic seized him, and he leapt out of Tohru's arms and onto the floor, racing down the hall to the washroom where he had to use his entire body to shut the door.

Suddenly Tohru was very serious. "Oh! I-I didn't mean to upset him… I hope he's okay… W-What if he hurt himself?!"

Kyo walked back in to the room. "Ah, he'll be fine. Damn punk needs to learn a lesson anyway."

"Weren't you going to bed…?"

Tohru shot up. "H-He doesn't have any clothes!" She picked up Hiro's outfit, but it was soaked in milk, as was her own. And today was laundry day, so there was nothing else to wear until the clothes finished drying, and they'd only been out a few minutes…

*Pffttt…!*

Shigure looked down the hall at the closed door. "Sounds like somebody transformed back, then."

There was a pause, then, "Stupid Woman! This is all your fault, so bring me my clothes and get me more milk! And my dinner's cold by now; I need more!"

Shigure and Yuki let out a sigh of mixed feelings. "At least he's back to bossy, annoying Hiro."

"Yes, but Shigure… Is that necessarily a good thing?"

"…Right. Well, regardless, you two should help Tohru-kun clean up this mess, and I'll go see what Hiro can wear."

Tohru sprang up from cleaning. "Oh, I'll do that! I think I have some old work clothes."

"But, Miss Honda… What about your own clothes?"

Tohru smiled. "It's just a little milk; it'll dry up just fine!"

Yuki and Shigure sighed humorously inward. "That's hardly a LITTLE spill…" But there was no changing Tohru's mind on this matter. She was down in her room, looking for something to give Hiro to wear…

***Meanwhile…***

Hiro sighed. He didn't like being rude to Tohru. He would much rather be nice to her, to try to be her friend. But it was waaay too late for that now; After all he had ever said to her in the past, they would know something was wrong almost instantly. Maybe if he was slowly nicer to her little by little…

"Ah, screw it. She'd never like me the way I like her. I should just give up on that stupid dream." He laughed silently. "A stupid dream about a stupid woman… Ah, I must be losing my mind." He looked around. He was completely naked, with no clothes, in a small room with no toilet. "Well, this is fantabulous. I may as well take a bath and clean up the milk…" He stopped. "Wait, I transformed. Shouldn't the milk be gone?" He stood there looking confused. "Bah! It's not like it even matters…" He looked down to turn the bath on, but as he did, he also noticed something else.

"Woah, I'm REALLY hard. Thinking about TOHRU did that? I must be fucking mental if SHE turns me on like THAT…" He shrugged and turned the bath on. While it was filling up, he looked down again. "It's not going away… Maybe I should just make it go away…?"

He reached down and grabbed his erect member and began stroking it down and up. "Nnghh…" "Sh-Shit… No, I gotta be quiet…" He kept touching himself, sending waves of pleasure down his barley pubescent body. "Nn… Tohru…" he moaned softly, closing his eyes. He heard a loud knock on the door. Hiro yelped, and he jumped into the bath half-full of water with his still hard dick sticking out. He poured soap into the water to try and make bubbles to mask his body before finally responding, "What?!"

"Hiro, I brought some clothes for you," came Tohru's voice through the door.

When the bubbles completely covered Hiro's boyhood, he said, "Yeah, come in…"

Tohru walked in carrying a pretty girly looking gardening outfit.

Hiro scowled and glared at Tohru. "Is that all you have? You HAVE to have something else. Or are you just trying to embarrass me more, hmm?"

Tohru smiled out of agony. "N-no, of course not! I-it's all that's left until the clothes dry…" She laid them out on the counter next to the sink. "I-I'm really sorry about what happened earlier, Hiro! I-I'll try not to do it again!"

Hiro smirked. "Try harder then." "I don't care what you do, just leave so I can finish what I was doing…! You're making me hurt more than feel good if I can't even touch myself to you…!"

Tohru smiled awkwardly, realizing fully for the first time that Hiro was NAKED. "O-Okay!" And with that, she left the room, closing the locked door behind her. Hiro sighed of relief. "Finally…" And went back to pleasuring himself to thoughts of Tohru.

When Tohru got to her room, she closed the door and locked it. She slumped up against it and brought her face close to her knees. She just stared at a single point of nothing, thinking one single word over and over again: "Hiro…"

Author's Note II:

…Wow… That… Um… Happened. THIS WAS NOT PLANNED, PEOPLE. I FREE WROTE THIS CHAPTER. I surprised myself with this one… Right, storyline: Yes, this story will probably continue for another 5-6 chapters, maybe more. I want to bring in Akito and Hiro's mom, Satsuki, at some point. I have plans for them… But Kisa isn't really in this story much… I have a vague side plot story for Kisa, but I need to find a good point to add it in. And yes, I know Hiro is 12 and Tohru is 16-17. And I just depicted Hiro, the 12-year-old, jacking off. But is it that bad if I myself am only 14? Meh. You decide. I don't care either way; can't get in legal trouble for a fanfiction! Ahhh… I'm going to Hell… 'K, well, I should wrap this up considering it's 3:06 A.M., so I'll see you all in Chapter 5!

(P.S. I'm thinking of naming each individual chapter. What do you guys think? Review and let me know!)

Songs listened to while I wrote this chapter:

The Phoenix by Fall Out Boy

Fairy Tail Openings and Endings, 1-17