A Long Way From Here

4

The read through was going very well (which was a good thing in Sonny's mind since Owen and Chad had only blocked out enough time to do it once before they started filming) and, for once, Sonny was able to view Chad the way the rest of the world saw him: as an exceptionally good actor. Even with no props, no blocking, nothing but the inflection of his voice, he was easily able to convey across the conference table the entire cast was crowded around exactly what his character was feeling.

It was a bit of a surprise, though Sonny knew it shouldn't be. There was a reason why he'd had his own show, why he wasn't just tossed to the side by film critics even when his body of work that was arable in the States was catered to teenagers and young females almost exclusively. The heartthrob label he'd been carrying since fourteen wasn't all he was, and Sonny hated to admit that.

When Chad read his lines, he wasn't Chad Dylan Cooper anymore. He was Colin, the character, and that was a talent she sorely wanted to ignore.

On the other hand, it wasn't as if she was giving a bad set of performances herself; she could relate so well to her own character. After all, there were some painful parallels that made her very nervous about the morning's first scene. Thank god the filming was starting out chronologically, though. Sonny didn't want to have to go through the pain that she could already feel dimly building from the few minutes of lines almost two hours ago.

"Erin, it's not what you think, just listen to me," Chad pleaded to her, eyes glued to his copy of the script. She had a feeling that he already knew his part by heart—he'd helped write it after all.

With a jarring break of her own line of thought Sonny scowled down at her own script. "Why should I? Why should I do anything you say, Colin? You lied to me." The words sounded desperate and angry, much like Sonny imagined Erin would be feeling if she and the contents of the script were real.

It was hard not to cry as she channeled the emotions within the words. "You hurt me," she gasped out, halfway to tears.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." It was gut-wrenching; Sonny couldn't help but look up at Chad in that moment. His blue eyes met hers, startling dark, and Sonny glanced back down. "I didn't mean to hurt you."

It was her line again, and Sonny paused in the reading to glance at Owen. "Hey, Owen? Do we want to do the screaming thing in here? Or work around that part?"

Owen chuckled from his place at the end of the table. "I don't imagine that, even with a voice as lovely as yours, a scream in this miniscule room would do us any good, would it? Just work around it, then, and you can practice your shrieks at Chad's so he's the one who winds up deaf."

No one missed the annoyed glare Chad shot Owen, but everyone was wise enough to ignore it. Or at least not comment on it, because Sonny sure as hell wanted to know what was up between them. It was simple enough to finish up the scene and sit back to mull it over, since the next two scenes didn't require her to speak. She was grateful; it gave her a chance to investigate the dynamic between Chad and Owen, and the cast as a whole.

Owen had seemed so friendly about Chad in New York; Sonny couldn't imagine that a sturdy friendship like theirs would be off balance over something as simple as what they had both assured her was a simple mix up in dates and times. It was strange to see, Chad being a human being, having a friend, being (dare she say it?) normal. She would never have believed it from him five years ago—now she had no idea what to think.

Two days Sonny had lived with Chad, and she had no idea what to make of the man who was once was a boy she'd known. It was easy to understand everyone else; her cast mates were friendly and courteous, even eager to meet her. She'd even had to sign an autograph for someone who had watched So Random when they were younger. Even Owen himself was a fairly simple puzzle in comparison, an interesting puzzle that Sonny could easily see herself wanting to get to know better and figure out. He was such a contrast to the Chad Cooper that she'd known.

And that was still her biggest problem. The Chad she knew and the Chad she was now living with were nothing alike. She hadn't seen him since she was seventeen and he, at only a year older, had had some very typical teenage male interests. He'd also had a penchant for casual cruelty that had hurt her more than once in the three years she'd worked at Condor Studios. This Chad was kind, even friendly, and he was everything that Sonny had wanted him to be when she was younger and she'd found it so easy to believe the best in everyone.

Chad Dylan Cooper had cured her of that naïve belief rather handily. But Sonny didn't like to remember that night, or even that time of her life. She'd left Tawni and Nico and Grady and Zora behind so soon after that—it hadn't set well with her then and she'd never had the chance to fix it once she was able to. And if she'd had to face Chad again after that night at the Emmy's, she wasn't sure she wanted to all that badly.

A no talent hack my ass, she thought to herself, still incredulous that Chad would even think that about her after her show won an Emmy. Jealousy, that was what it was. Jealousy that while So Random was doing well enough to snag that award, Mackenzie Falls hadn't even been nominated for one. Even at the top of the ratings it still wasn't good enough unless he trashed everything the Randoms could do.

But... that was five years ago, and even Sonny had to admit that people could change. Chad had changed; Sonny had seen that much with her own two eyes.

Two days under his roof, it all came back to that. This Chad cooked, cleaned up after himself, had a cleaning service in no more than twice a month. He spent his evenings at home working on a laptop at god only knew what (or else he was very addicted to solitaire) and had an eclectic collection of music and movies that made Sonny examine them closely looking for the hidden slasher flicks she knew had to be there. But it really was Debussy, Elton John, the Used. Those really were copies of Sliding Doors and Ever After lined up with The Bourne Identity and Star Wars.

He really was being polite and considerate, quiet when she was asleep or trying to, leaving notes when he left, offering to show her around and even promising to take her to Camden Market with a smile no matter how much of a cold shoulder she gave him.

It was just a tactic, she knew, because he was the main financial backer for the movie; he was the one who was going to be hurt the most if it did badly. At least for a bit, since he had at least three projects in varying stages of post production that Sonny knew of. But the rest, her, Owen, even the secondary cast. They would all suffer to have their names linked to a flopped film. She tried to tell herself that it wasn't some grand scheme. Chad wouldn't do that to a friend, would he? Not a real friend, not Owen. Even if he wanted to—what? Punish Sonny? For what, she had no idea, but it was a thought she'd had more than once.

But each time she considered it, she came to the same conclusion: Chad was sincere, he was a new person, a man she didn't know. And... one who was too overwhelmed by her memory of the boy he used to be for her to want to get to know him.

"We have the same nose," the girl next to Sonny said loudly toward her. It was pure luck that Sonny's automatic response was exactly as it was scripted or everyone would know exactly where Sonny's mind was not.

The girl—Sonny thought she remembered her name being Michelle—glanced back down at her own script, a much more battered sheaf of papers than Sonny's own relatively new copy. "The nose, it's our mom's. Daddy always told us we were lucky to have her nose instead of his."

This time when Sonny forced her attention back it stayed that way, the two scenes of silence passed and the read through nearly done. So close to the end, Sonny sighed as she waited for her next line to come around. The remainder of the read through went quickly, nearly nothing more than a courtesy after the heavy emotions that Sonny and Chad had tossed at each other across the table. Sonny was grateful when it was done; tomorrow they'd begin filming and she'd be that much closer to the life she wanted.

"So we're going to need Sonny and Lisa tomorrow for the first scene, and then I want to work with Sonny and Chad together to take a few practice reels," Owen was saying. "We need this to be good, and I'd rather we make sure that our leads do as well in person as they do in voice."

Sonny nodded, ignoring the ice building in her stomach. "Bright and early, Owen," she told the man, his director cap firmly on. It was a good thing she was an actress, because at this point the pasted on smile was Oscar worthy.

xXx

He listened to her pace half the night. Between her room, the hall, the kitchen and the living room, Chad was surprised there wasn't a loop etched into the hardwood floors. If it weren't for knowing that, Chad would never have guessed that Sonny was anything other than bright, chipper, and looking forward to her first scene.

Not true; he would have suspected. Chad had held reservations about filming this scene from the first moment he entertained the idea of suggesting Sonny to Owen as their female lead. Granted, it was a death scene—Chad couldn't stomach having that in the movie, not with Sonny being the lead—but it was meant to be a heart wrenching beginning to the film to immediately make the viewers empathize with Erin.

It just became a little more personal knowing that it was Sonny who was going to be filming it, especially after what happened. But, not that he needed to reassure himself, Sonny was a damn fine actress. He had no doubts that she could pull it off.

At least he hoped she could.

She was already in costume, as it were, a pair of jeans and with a blouse and light sweater. It looked very college chic, which fit with the kind of woman Erin was supposed to be. They'd done something to her hair to make it straight and simple. He wouldn't tell her that he hated it, Chad knew she would take it completely different than he actually meant it, but he loved her curls. She was always pretty, and usually beautiful, and the curls were part of it. She was watching the crew set the scene as Chad came up behind her. She never noticed him, a very strong indicator that she wasn't as calm as she pretended, because Sonny was unusually hyperaware of him, if only to scowl or sidle away warily.

"Sonny?" he enquired quietly, trying not to draw attention to them. "You okay?"

He watched her pull her lower lip into her mouth to worry at it with her teeth. "The first scene is with Erin's dying mother," she said to him.

"It'll be fine, Sonny. You'll be great." It was supposed to be reassuring, but Chad wasn't a natural at that particular aspect of humanity. In fact, he was pretty sure that he'd just failed at it fairly spectacularly because when she turned wide eyes on him, Chad could see a thin sheen of tears building up turning her eyes to dark molten chocolate—so not what he'd hoped for.

Sonny swallowed convulsively and Chad hesitated to ask her if she was going to be sick. "I don't think this is going to be fine," she told him faintly. "I don't think I can do this."

If he could have kicked himself without Sonny being able to see it, Chad would have. It didn't matter if he'd been trying to help her or not, he'd just made the insecurity that was plaguing her come screaming to the front. And no wonder, he told himself after he'd called himself six kinds of idiot. With everything that's happened this isn't what she expected. Should've just kept my mouth shut.

He tried not to think about what would happen if Sonny really bombed the scene, what it would do to her, what Owen would do to him.

"Of course you can," he told her brightly, pasting on his Mackenzie Falls smile. It was vacant and bored, perfect for dealing with Portlyn all those years ago on set, or pissing Sonny Monroe off in fantastic style. Apparently it still worked; Chad felt a surge of triumph flare through him as years' worth of habitual response made Sonny's spine straighten, her eyes narrow a little, a cool tension jutting through her jaw to turn the clenched muscles angry instead of tearful.

Her left eye almost twitched as she smiled back at him. Unlike his, Sonny's was hard, her teeth bared in threat more than friend, a warning that Chad was prepared to blithely ignore. If Sonny was trying to verbally flay him then she couldn't sit there and break down over the scene.

She snorted, unladylike and unrepentant. Chad smirked, instigating.

"An d what happened to me being a, what was it? 'No talent hack' were the words, weren't they Chad? And having no future in the business?" she demanded. Sonny flipped her hair back, the straightened ends longer than Chad was used to seeing. It didn't distract him from the suddenly dangerous tension between them as his smirk faded.

He could feel the blood slipping from his face as he paled to leave him lightheaded with the accusation and anger in her voice, and the hurt he could hear under it, even after all of these years. "Sonny," he offered, his mouth numb around the words. "Do you really want to do this now? Here? Where everyone else can see?"

Chad was sure that if the girl could hiss at him she would have. Or killed him, she looked so furious.

"And what's wrong with here and now, Chad?" she ground out, the teary blur that had been in her eyes burned away in the wake of her anger. "Not as public as backstage at the Emmy's, I know, but it's not like chances to tear a person down in a setting like that comes along every day."

He tried to give Sonny a smile, but it was weak. "Mostly I was thinking that this might get loud. And possibly bloody. Or definitely," he amended, noting the curl to her fists. "I deserve a few good hits, Sonny, but now is not the time."

"Why the hell not?"

"Because they just called you to set, it's time to shoot."

Just like that the anger fled from her, the tension seeping out of her body. Chad almost sagged with relief. There were definitely things they needed to talk about. He needed to do that instead of avoiding it, or letting her. But he didn't say anything else, just watched her steadily, half braced in case she did take the chance to knock him a good one. He knew she had a vicious right hook—Nico and Grady had taught her it hoping she'd use it on him. So far she hadn't, but Chad was pretty sure he was going to meet it intimately soon.

Sonny considered him for a moment before saying, "Altruism doesn't seem like you, Chad."

"Maybe not, but you're ready to shoot."

Her breath hitched for a moment as she ignored Owen's insistent demand for her on set. "You have no idea what happened. How could you know to do this?"

Chad tilted his head to the side before taking a casual step back. "I know exactly what happened, Sonny," he finally told her. "I know about your parents, and the accident, and everything else." Her mouth fell open for a moment before she snapped it shut with a click. "I know about it. I'll be here when you're done."

"Allison!" This time Owen's call cut through them like a knife and Sonny jerked around toward him.

She started to make an apology but apparently thought better of it, just heading onto set and taking Owen's direction without argument, just concise nods of her head. Chad couldn't help but notice how much more relaxed she was, how easily she was taking it all for now. It would get harder, the more times they had to take film, but he would be here when it was done.

And he was, an hour later with Owen declaring that they had what they wanted to print. There were a few things left to shoot today, but nothing that required Sonny. It was a good thing, because she wasn't bothering to even try and hide the tears as she left the set, Owen trailing her, pausing only for a moment next to him.

Her eyes were lowered and her face turned away, hair a dark heavy curtain, and her voice thick. "We need to talk. Later."

"Yeah. We need to talk."

"But later," she whispered, and when her eyes turned up to him Chad could see agony in them. He nodded and let her escape before Owen could stop her.

"What that all about?" he demanded of Chad.

Chad bit back the ironic laugh in his throat. Owen was going to kill him. "Her parents died because of a car accident five years ago. Her dad was conscious for a bit afterward, but her mother never had a chance."

"Fucking hell, Coop," Owen breathed as he dragged a hand down his face. "So that Oscar worthy performance I just got out of her was because she never got to say goodbye to her mother?" Chad thought about answering but Owen ran on without giving him a chance. "Anything else you'd like to tell me? Has she a long lost twin with whom she makes magic? Is she actually a fairy in disguise? Perhaps there's a bloody pot at the end of her rainbow?"

This time Chad didn't bother to try not to laugh as he thumped Owen on the back. "No, you're good now, my man. Nothing left to tell you."

He didn't mention that he didn't think it was Owen's business that he was in love with Sonny Monroe. Still.