Not my characters. They belong to SM. I just like making them dance. Muah ha ha ha.

After our incident with Sam's guard dogs we decided that going back to Forks didn't sound very appealing. Not that I'm one to complain but Quil was whining like a bitch about being followed by the fuck-ups. So Leah and I, being the great and loving people we are, decided to let his ass stew for a little bit while we planned. Not that we wanted to go back either, but he didn't need to know that. So I dialed Charlie and waited for the answer I knew would be coming.

"Hello?"

"Hi, dad."

"Bells?"

"Yah." Who else would it be? I think I should know if someone else is calling him dad. Unless it's some kinky shit. Then I really don't want to know. I had to suppress a shudder at that thought.

"Ya need somethin', baby girl?"

"Quil, Leah, and I feel like we really need a break from Forks. We just want the weekend away, new scenery and all. We wanted to know if you're okay with us staying in Seattle for a long weekend."

"Uh huh. Ya think this is gonna save yer ass from Uley?" Well, shit. How the fuck did he know that?

"I'm sorry, um what?" I really hoped it was innocence in my voice and not the smug undercurrent I was feeling.

"Don't ya bullshit me, young lady. I'm not so old yet." Shit.

"I love you daddy?" I made it sound like a question. Huh.

"Ya better, baby girl, ya better."

"How did you know?"

"I may be yer old man, but I'm not quite so blind as to miss this." The old man sees more than I give him credit for. How did he miss Edward then? Or did he?

"So you'll cover for me?" I let the hope in m voice saturate the phone. He just chuckled.

"I'll protect yer sorry ass this once." He went to college in Georgia. He talks like this when he's really mad, or really fucking amused. Bastard.

"Aww, I knew I loved you for some reason."

"Now, now. No need ta snap at yer old man, Bells. Have fun."

"Make sure to make up some story for Leah and Quil."

"Yes, ma'am. Can't have ya'll getting in anymore trouble can I?" And people wonder where I get my observational skills. Well, that, the cussing, and the sarcasm. My daddy is one sorry excuse for an example. Not that he was around much, so really it's got to be Renee.

"No need to be like that. It was only a little fun."

"A little fun my ass. He's gonna be pissed at this one. And when this backfires, I'm gonna be watching the flames."

"Hardy har fucking har."

"My daughter speaks like a sailor, I'm so proud."

"You should be, it's not about to go away. Plus, I'm completely blaming it on you."

"Sure, sure. Bye Bells." Old man was still laughing when he hung up. Asshole. But I inherited his assholeness, or the female equivalent. Well, he's my dad. And with that I turned to Leah and flashed a smile.

"All clear." Quil's head snapped up and I swear he was going to kiss me. Or Leah. Luckily Leah caught him and straightened him the fuck out. If he had made it he would be walking with a limp for a while. I almost laughed aloud at the thought. What? It's something to keep in mind. It could be useful. Maybe.

"I fucking love your dad." Leah smirked as she turned back towards me. We dissolved into laughter.

"So my darlings, what are we going to do on our little weekend away?" The car was parked and we had no plan. A thousand ideas rushed through my head, but even Quil could have anticipated Leah's answer to my question.

"I propose we get fucked up."

"Thank you for that brilliant idea Leah…anyone else? Quil?"

"Hey! What the hell was wrong with my suggestion?"

"Oh, it was great…you know, other than the fact that none of us are twenty one." I may have snapped…just a little bit.

"Well, damn." Well said, Leah.

"Um, guys? I hate to encourage this, but you guys are fucking hot. I'm sure you can get us in wherever we want to go."

"Oh sure you hate to encourage it. But you have a point. Leah?"

"I hate to admit it but shit-for-brains actually came up with an idea." And we were out of the car before Quil could protest.

Yes, it was an idea indeed. It was unanimously decided later that it was a bad fucking idea and that Leah should never ever be allowed near copious amounts of alcohol and men at the same time. Never fucking ever again. Not that we remembered the last bit until much later, as in, my head isn't being split open, I'm not violently puking anymore, and think I could maybe drink some coffee, kind of later. So yes, not a lot was done until much, much later in the day. It was a long weekend though, thank god for small miracles. I didn't need Charlie on my case about how utterly fucked-up I looked. Yeah, that wouldn't go over well. I happen to like what little sunlight Forks has to offer. Not that he'd be that pissed off. I've got stuff on him from his teenage years he'll never live down. Never smoked pot my ass.

I pulled myself up and pried my crusted 150 lb eyelids and closed them again immediately. Too fucking bright. Once I stumbled my way to my bag and downed my aspirin I chanced another look around the room. What I saw would have made me laugh if I didn't think my head would collapse in on itself. Leah was passed out on the couch with a bottle of whiskey. An empty bottle of whiskey. She's going to be one hell of a pissy bitch when she wakes up. I've got the baseball bat hidden though. Just in case.

She looks a hot mess though. Her long raven hair is splayed across the arm of aforementioned couch and the smudged dark make-up on her face gives a hint to our whereabouts last night. The crumpled aqua mini dress was riding up on her thighs and her strappy silver heels were hanging from the fan. How the fuck did those get there? Not that anyone can remember much of anything anyway. Back to the sleeping bitch…um beauty? Her mouth is hanging open slightly and she's snoring. Though that's not quite as bad as the drool. She had a hell of a night. She probably out-drank every male in the club. I'm so proud to call her my best friend. What good times we have.

Now Quil? Quil is the typical hung-over male, cursing, stumbling, and louder cursing. Though I have to give him credit. He didn't wake Leah up, so at least we know he can think somewhat rationally. I'd put my heel up his ass if he even thought about it, but he still gets some brownie points. Or at least he had some…until he fell on top of Leah anyway. Oh shit. That motherfucking dumb-assed whore-licking kiss-ass…it went on that way for a while. Long story short, I was going to kill him. Slowly. Painfully. I will castrate him with a rusted spork. Not spoon, spoons are boring. After that I will hang him by his toes and make him watch as I light his funeral pyre. Then there was the gasoline and the tires. It was totally an A-Team copy, but I think it could still work. Then finally I will spit on his ashes and laugh.

When I came out of my homicidal moment Leah was beating the shit out of Quil. I watched for a moment before I figured I should probably do something, but it was just too entertaining. Plus, he deserved it. In the end I had to pull her off of him and she complained. Loudly. So I told her to shut the fuck up and to save the aggression for Uley.

After we got our shit together we all took showers and brushed our teeth. After this was accomplished with only mild cursing and a few screaming matches we all promptly passed the fuck back out.

My last thought before succumbing to the talking butterflies and the bridge people was mildly sadistic as well as bitchy, but somehow he deserved it all. The bastard was a fucking idiot. Anyway, it was this: When Leah remembers what happened in the bar last night, I hope she unleashes hell on Uley's ass. He's fucked six ways from Sunday and that's before Quil and I even get a stab at him. Look out Uley, Leah's a-comin' and she won't rest until your balls are in her possession. Good luck, fucker. I'm about to be a hella entertained.

As always, thanks for reading. Now I know nothing really happens in this chapter, but rest assured it sets things up perfectly for the next one. We will be finding out more about their night out and what exactly Sam did to piss Leah off. Not that it would take much, I'm sure, but whatever it is, he's in a load trouble.

Reviews are appreciated.

~Fictionlover