Signed
Dear Tom,

Helloo I probably have lots to ask so sit down and if possible glue this piece of parchment to your face. Er... if Snape is Harry's dad how come he looks like James? and if you are his great grandfather then you must be the dad of his dad right? Why are you still trying to rule the world?
If you were an animagus what would you be?

-Addy (Home Schooling Witch)

P.S. Tell your great daughter and law I said congrats! :) ::cackles:: Well any ways
toodles!! Oh! and would you like a chocolate Ice cream cake I made?

Dear Addy

He looks like James because there are a lot of charms on him that are set to go down slowly as he grows up. You see, when Lilly told Servus he would be a father he ran away, yelling that he was not the father. James, being the Muggle loving idiot he was, proposed to his mother so Harry wouldn't be a basterd. No I am not Snape's father. I am Snape's Mother's father. You know, that is some thing I have yet to figure out. You know what, I think I'll retire from the Dark Lord business and just do this article. But who should I place in control of my army? I became an Animagus when I was thirty, I was Giant Three Toed Sloth. (In Homer simpson Voice.) MMMMMMMMMMM, Chocolate Ice Cream Cake.

Sincerely

Tom Riddle

P.S. My Friend, A.O.D. is also Home Schooled.

Dear Tom,

I was wondering, well since Snape is Harry's father, is Lily still Harry's mother? Oh, and if you had a crush on Lily, why did you kill her? Oh can you kill Pansy Parkinson? After I told her Malfoy was gay, she stole my exploding snaps cards! Can you get them back for me also?


Dear Divine

As I told Addy, yes she is Harry's mother. HE got her pregnant and then when she told him he denied that it was his. After all, who would you trust more, James, and Lilly, two Gryfindor Sixth year Prefect's, or a seventh Year Slytherin Head boy? I killed her because she excepted the proposal from the heir of Hufflepuff, who are secondary to even Gryfindor! Poor Stupid Pansy, can't except the fact that the gay boy she had crush on is dead. Sure i'll kill and get back your cards. But the pries is one pair of fluffy pink flying snake slippers.

Sincerely,

Tom.



Dear Tom,


Friend here with a plea. Don't add Harry's Godfather, my Sirius, to your hit list. I Told Siri about the elope and he is sending Harry and Ginny a gift but don't know what they want. Oh, can you tell Harry that Siri and I will visit him soon, we got married. Sirius is in shock about the Snape problem, is there a spell, not killing or memory that can make him deal with it. kill bin-ladin slowly and painfully. then watch Gandhi.

Sirius Amore



Dear Sirius Amore,

As I said earlier. I am retiring as soon as I take care of all the non Wizards on my his list. In other words, Bin-laden's ass is fried. He said that all he want's is a family that love's him and for his real father to love him. (Yes I told him Servus was his father.) I'll tell them that you're coming. Sorry but I am an old man with one foot in the grave, (All those Dark art's spell to make me stronger, faster, and smarter than most have an adverse affect on you when you get older.) so his death shall be rather fast. Also I would like to except your invitation to watch Gandhi, but last time I saw him I burst into flames. That Dude was one powerful wizard. As for getting sirius out of his shock just tell him that if he weren't Snape's son, then he would have died that night.

Sincerely,

Tom.



Dear Tom,

Did you have a crush on any of the girls in your house? Cause I was one and I liked you A LOT! Congratulations to Harry and Ginny on the pregnancy. Who's Harry's great grandmother?


Yours Sincerely,


Bethany R. Walker, AKA Lady Doblo


Dear Mrs. Walker.

No I didn't, but I did take advantage of all the girls in my house who did. I'll tell them you said congrat's. As for Harry's Great Grandmother, Do you remember the time were you disappeared with out a trace, then came back ten months later with no \ of what had happened?

Sincerely,

Tom.

P.S. You were very good in bed. (Wink, wink.)


Dear Tom,

Why don't you like being called Tommy? You can still be just as evil! And I would send you a drawing but I do not know where you live as it is a *secret* hideout so I can't find the address. (sorry) No worries, I got my bunny back. Here, you can have one too! *hands Tom a stuffed bunny* I am sorry you did not get what you wanted for Christmas. And since you are giving your secret admirer Japan when you rule the world, can I have all of the manga? (Japanese form of muggle comics)


Toodles,

Rinoa Toki Moro Lockheart,

P.S. Could I get the coordinates of you hideout so I can mail you the drawing?

Dear Rinoa Toki Moro Lockheart,

I just don't like it. That is what all the bullies at the orphanage called me. ( that means that the whole place called me that.) Just send It to P.O. Box 5, little whinning post office. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. This one completes my collection of fluffy bunny's. There, now I can finally have stuffed bunny tea party. You know, That species died out three month's afterward, but I did get a pack of fluffy Green Flying snakes later on in my life. Sure I'll order her to give you several copy's of all the MAGNA'S you want. They're called magna's not manga's okay.

Sincerely,

Tom.



Dear Tom,

Are you single?

Lots a love, Eos.

P.S. If you are, would you like to have a drink with me??


Dear EoS.

Yes I am single. But I'm sixty something and aging fast. (Wormtail better get that youth potion done soon.) The reason I said sixty something, is because when you get to my age, you start counting down, not up. And please next time you write to me, use proper grammar. I am so old that I don't give a second glance at women who can't write worth a pile of Potter's.

Sincerely,

Tom.

Dear Tom,

Me and Ginny just moved in with (P/R. [Picture reference.] This next two words are shakily written) My Dad. It's really weird, when he thought I was James son he treated me like shit. But now that he excepted me as his son, he's been trying to make up for all the lost birthday's and holidays. He finally treat's the Weeasley's with respect, (mainly because his daughter-in-law is one.) I guess he read your reply letter to Sirius Amore, and you were correct. But a some baby stuff would be nice. It's going to be a boy Ginny said, and just yesterday the doctors were able to conform it. Well, I wanted to know the best way to tell the public that the Stories in this publication are true.?

Sincerely,

Mr. and Mrs. Harry Potter.



Dear Harry,

Yes, he most likely did. After all, I gave a copy to every one at the last Death Eater meeting. Just tell Rita Skeeter about it then go to Diagon Alley and proclaim that it is true. While I'm writing you I might as well tell you why you survived my killing curse. When I started ny Dark training, I put a charm on myself that would turn me into a vapor if I tried to hurt my blood relation's. It's the family gift for the first child to be a boy, that way the blood line go's on.

Sincerely,

Tom.

P.S. All the other people who aske question's send their congrat's.