Disclaimer: Death Note is not mine. It's fiction.

Note: This is Alternate Universe. If you see that some things are off, it's because AU offers the ability to change everything, even the setting, which I will not. This is another life, in which Light keeps relating to his past life, which was his life as Kira.

- Also, I was skeptical about posting. I don't know if it's good... I'm always my worst critic.

To dream that you die may represent involvement in deeply painful relationships or unhealthy, destructive behaviors. You may feeling depressed or feel strangled by a situation or person in your waking life. Perhaps your mind is preoccupied with someone who is terminally ill or dying. Alternatively, you may be trying to get out of some obligation, responsibility or other situation.

GoldenEyesMidnightTears: Thank you very much, I'm glad that you're enjoying it. It gets a bit more complicated from here on out. Please, follow!

yaoi loveing wolf: Indeed! lol Thanks.

TO ALL WHO HAVE ALERTED/FAVORITED: Thank you very much. It's probably what keeps me updating. Even if you don't comment, I see that you're enjoying it and want to know when it's updated. Thanks.


Broken Sparrow

by Miss Odzy

04: Sleeping Beauty

"As your head lay there on the ground, a broken sparrow sings."

I woke up to an annoying beeping sound and was instantly aware of the unfamiliar scent filling my lungs, which made it hurt to breathe in suddenly. Then, I remembered, I was kicked off top of a building, though not realistically, right? The pain was there and the more I came to, I realized that I was most likely at the hospital. I clarified the white surroundings, it was a hospital. I hated the hospital.

The pale white walls, the simple yellow décor, and the needle in my vein was more than unwelcomed, though the pain medication, which was needed at the moment, was not without taste. Through the haziness of my thought process, I tried to think up reasons as to why I was literally here, at the hospital, with a pain in my chest. Had I been affected somehow, had L's kick really sent me back flailing off of a building?

I heard that in dreams and however your body reacts, can mess with the dreaming pattern. Had something happened to me prior? I tried sitting up, 'tried' being the keyword, when I lay back down again. Defeated and dejected, not enjoying the ordeal at all. I didn't enjoy being confused and I didn't enjoy being here. Surely, they must've known. You could call it a phobia even, knowing that the fear is irrational, but fearing it anyway.

This needle in my arm and the inexpressible pain in my chest, it was impossible to withstand it.

"Raito," It was Sayu, my younger sister. I squinted. She turned on the light next to me. It was dark outside the windows. Just around that particular damnable time. She annoyed me, quite honestly, she didn't know what to do and what not to do, and it was easier for her to just do it without thinking. "I didn't come in here to give you a guilt trip or anything, but Mom is a wreck because of you."

She's a wreck? How would she feel knowing that I'm supposedly a murderer with a God complex? Once I remembered it, my stomach churned. I couldn't get sick from the lack of food in my stomach, through fluids seemed to be flowing freely between the bag filled with unwanted-ness and the needle allowing it all to enter through my veins, inside my body, causing my instinctive measure to feel ill once more, but to no avail, there would be no refuge.

"She found you faced down on your pillow bleeding half to death, your mouth was gushing blood, even!" Her hands were animated, though her story was vague, but most likely true, thrown in with angst and dramatics. "She said it looked like you were tossed up into the sky and crashed back down again."

Oh, irony in all her glory.

"Maybe I was kicked off a building, in some fictional dimension, by a crazed detective, who is obsessed with calling me a murderer," I murmured, not expecting her to hear it, but inevitably, she was listening to everything that I had to say. Her eyes were wide and she looked away, as if to say that I was insane. I was probably heading there, I mused with the thought, was I really losing it?

"Hello Yagami-san," came in the nurse, and just like the plain walls, her outfit held no personality. Some nurses are allowed to wear shirts with floral decoration or even cartoon characters, but oddly enough, it was void of color and completely pale. The blue of her shirt reminded me of the dim color balance outlining L in my dreams. I could remember that vividly, his ominous glow.

"Hi," I answered her barely, trapped deep within my own presaging– consistent thoughts, they'd just keep coming. Her smile was sweet, comforting, yet negligent. She seemed laid back, not wanting to be here and smiling just to smile. She touched a finger to the tube that was giving me fluids, "I'm here to give you more pain medication. The doctor wants to make sure that you're in absolutely no pain when they take your x-rays. Now, this will make you drowsy…"

As she says – no, sentenced me to a medication induced sleep, she's already pushing the liquid out of the syringe. It wouldn't make sense to fight it or to argue, I myself, wanted those answers, the answers that Ryuuzaki was also searching for. I had to help him, for the sake of this Watari guy ending my life. Everything that's been happening to me for the past eleven years was starting to connect to something and someone else.

I laughed, shortly, catching the fearful look that Sayu gives me, her small voice reaching me, "More sleeping…is that such a good idea?"

Okaasan, you don't have to worry. She walks in with a handkerchief, covering her nose and mouth, but I can see her tears. It wasn't that extreme, what's happened to me, and it didn't hurt as much as I thought it would. It wasn't supposed to hurt period. But Christ, it did. Okaasan… Don't cry. I gave a smile of relief, feeling the pain go down, and fully away, but then I realized that I was falling helplessly in and out of consciousness, and crashing down to sleep.

'You must die, Raito-kun.'

"Checkmate."

I looked over, surprised to see that we're not on top of buildings, but inside what looked like a hotel room, but not ordinary, the many televisions in the room capturing my attention. Someone was under surveillance. I stepped closer to the screen, the rooms becoming more familiar, but not exact - it had changed. I knew it was my home, judging by the rooms, the sizes and colors, the corners.

L sighed, "You were under the suspicion of being Kira."

"That again," I sighed, while resting a hand on my hip, highly annoyed. "Listen, L. I need to speak with Ryuuzaki. You need to let him-"

"I don't need to do anything for you." He moved the black chess piece along the board. "Do you think that the black piece is the typical 'evil' piece and that the white piece is the typical 'hero, good – angelic' piece?"

I shook my head, not understanding his randomness, and wondering if randomness was what it was at all, "That is how it's perceived… usually…"

"That's incorrect." I blinked. There was that blue aura again. "They see it as any piece, color really doesn't matter. So, I've discovered something about your character, Kira."

I was stammering, "Something ridiculous!"

He smiled then, and I took a step back.

"I could hear him in your voice. The real Kira… He had a special way of denying things, fabricating his motives, trying to protect his false innocence. The only person it didn't fool was me." His voice so careless, so lax – I wondered if he was a monster, unable to feel, this couldn't have been an angel. "How's your heart, Raito-kun?"

"My heart…" Not understanding, I brought my hand up and gently touched where the pain had been. His black eyes met mine for a long moment, knowingly. He knows that I'm at the hospital and that I'm in for chest pains, possibly. "That was from the kick, wasn't it?"

"Dreams aren't that real, Raito-kun." He got up from his game of chess, walking a few steps towards me, his posture disoriented, slouching – as if not knowing what to do with his long figure. "I shouldn't say such things, this isn't realistic, yet it's still happening, so, I should say be saying, I had nothing to do with what's happening with your heart. A higher power has something to do with this. You're not supposed to be living and it would make sense for him to put things back into order."

"If that were the case, then why would he give you the boot, why expel an angel?" His body went stiff from that, I see now that around his dark orbs are cobalt rings. The color of L's eyes made me indecisive, and I wondered why I felt this way around him. Kira's feelings were making me suffer. That hatred was spread on so thick, I could barely muster a single thought.

There was hate and something else. I needed L? No, that wasn't right. Regret. I gasped, holding my chest – the pain returning, but that regret – that guilt hitting me. I didn't want L to die. I didn't want Ryuuzaki to die. I didn't want death for anyone. My heartbeat thundered in my ears – loudly into the room, L could hear it, I could tell when his expression changed. It only sped up faster and faster. I could feel that something big was coming.

"L…"

He tilted his head at me, "Kira?"

"I'm sorry." And he laughed, watching me get down on my knees. The pain was overwhelming. It wasn't me who said it, though. It was both me and the person that controlled me, this Kira person. He was me, but I wasn't him, if that made any sense. He looked like me, but didn't feel the way I felt, he was clearly a murderer, but I was clear of the shameful disgusting concept. I couldn't imagine myself killing anyone, especially L or were those 'his' feelings.

He killed L, so why was he regretting it now?

"How is it that a God can die?" He crouched down, his thumb pressing against his bottom lip, his eyes piercing – as he reaches forward and rests his long – spidery fingers against my chest. "Your heart is breaking into two, not so literally, though the outcome will be the same."

The outcome of what…

His closeness triggered something and I tasted what could have been the beauty of reunion. Without thinking, without having to, simply feeling, the Kira that frightened me had come out, grabbing the back of L's neck, and kissed him firmly. We stayed perfectly still, the feeling surreal. This was a dream, but this inched closer to reality, it burned – it soothed. His lips were surprisingly warm and soft. He gasped and I noticed that there was something alarmingly human about him now.

I pulled back – I could already tell that it wasn't him, "Ryuuzaki?"

He was breathing heavily, his cheeks flushed, "Yagami Light."

For the sake of our embarrassment, I went straight for the route of the situation, "Ryuuzaki, I… Please, you have to wake up."

"If Raito dies…" Ryuuzaki murmured, his blank expression worrisome, his eyes looking up at me, he wasn't talking to me, but to L rather. "…yes, I know. The balance would be restored. It was he, who requested this…"

He, as in, me? Kira…

He asked for this to happen, why? And if so, why would it happen for someone who was supposed to be condemned? God would accept it, why? Why?

"I wanted you to live." I felt pushed into my subconscious, buried in the back of my mind, it was no longer me speaking, but Kira. And as Kira showed himself, so did L, his fingers against his lips, as if feeling the burn from the kiss.

"That was a despicable thing you did."

"You liked it." They started to argue, "And your skin is still pink from the intensity."

I could see through his eyes, staring down at pale glowing skin, L didn't seem to react to the things that would normally anger another. I could feel the amusement teasing my senses. Kira was amused by this logic? His calm façade will never disappear. Don't you think it inhuman, Raito?

"Kira…" I answered him, his thoughts were reaching me. He was talking to me. "What are you doing…why are you doing this…"

L stared on, watching the waves of emotion or lack thereof pass through the new form, which was Kira, and I wondered if he could feel me at the back of his mind, if he could see me at all.

I wanted him to live. And for that reason, I'd die once again.

End of Chapter.