Chapter Four

Text Messages

Andy

"Are things going as I hoped? Well, I planned to sit next to Erin, but of course Dwight and Michael had to take those seats. Also, Dwight's sort've being annoying. It's my responsibility to keep him in check, so I've got to worry about focusing on that, which takes away from Erin. All in all though,- yeah, it's not going great."

"Alright, here's how it's going down," Andy said with a comic edge. "We're all going to roll two dice into the box at the other end of the board. Whoever rolls the highest goes first, and we go in a clockwise fashion from then on. Anyone want to roll first?"

Michael and Dwight simultaneously raised their right hands.

"Okay, one of you two."

The two of them turned to each other, both with their hands still raised.

"Michael," Dwight said delicately. "My statistics show that I consistently roll better when the dice have not yet been rolled. Please, I need this."

Michael rolled his eyes and lowered his hand.

"Alright, Dwight will kick this game off," Andy declared.

Dwight leaned across the table, in front of Erin, to grab the two white dice in the box (there was also three red ones). He rolled the dice: 1 and 3.

"Dammit!" Dwight swore. Jim raised his hand to his mouth so Dwight couldn't see him smirk.

"Hand me the dice, Dwight," Andy said.

Dwight exhaled with frustration as he ungracefully grabbed the dice and handed them over to Andy. Andy stood up and threw the dice over the board and into the box. 4 and 3.

"I can live with that," Andy said.

At the other end of the table, Kevin held the container of gummy bears in his hand. Only one fourth of the bears remained. He didn't raise his eyes to the dice in the box, which were closer to him than anyone else.

"Um, Kevin?" Andy asked as he sat down. Kevin looked up at him like a disturbed snake. "Could you hand the dice to Creed?"

Kevin put the container back on the table and gave the dice to Creed.

As Creed stood up a faint buzzing sound came from Erin's pocket. She pulled out her phone and held it under the table. While everyone else leaned inward to see Creed's roll (6 and 5) Andy glanced over at Erin. Her lips lowered and her eyebrows scrunched a bit. The faint smile faded from Andy's face.

Erin scanned the people around her as she rose to her feet. No one seemed to notice her as Jim rolled the dice, least of all Dwight. She walked around the table and left through the door behind Andy. Andy turned back to watch her go, and then looked back at the table. Dwight was laughing.

"Well, Jim, it looks like your lucky streak has finally come to an end," Dwight said.

"Let's try not to jump to conclusions Dwight," Jim said, "you know- before the game actually begins."

Kevin stood up, pushing his chair back. He squeezed the dice in his hands and dropped them over the board. They came up as two sixes.

"Yes," Kevin said as he raised his fists in the air.

"So Kevin goes first," Andy said. "You get to put down troops each turn. The number of troops you get is the number of territories you have divided by three, but you always get a minimum of three troops."

"So I get three," Kevin said slowly, sounding somewhere between making a statement and asking a question.

"Yes," Andy said as he stood up. "You can put them on any territory of yours that you want. I'll let you guys get this game a-rollin', I'm just going to go to the kitchen for a second to get the soda I've got in the fridge."

Andy walked into the dining room, which was connected to the game room, and then into the kitchen. Erin stood on the white-tiled floor with her thumbs typing madly on her phone. Andy walked toward her, leaning on the table she stood next to.

"Oh, Andy," she said, slightly startled. Her thin lips parted into a smile, but her eyes shone with unshed tears. "Sorry I-"

"Erin, is everything alright?" Andy asked in a low voice.

"It's just-" Erin started. She put her phone on the table and said, "just a stupid fight I'm having with Gabe."

"Oh, I'm sorry," Andy said. "Do you," he paused, "wanna talk about it?"

"No," Erin said quietly with her eyes lowered to the ground. She looked up at Andy. "It's just, Gabe told me he didn't want me coming here tonight. We sort've got in a fight, and he said I should see him instead of playing some 'dumb game'. He went on a bit about how stupid and childish it was. And then I just got this text from him that said 'So how's your little game coming?'. And I don't know, it just really hurt me. And sometimes I feel bad, because he thinks my interests are immature, and I just want to leave him, but then he can be so nice and-" Her voice, which was strong until this point, faltered with tears. "And now I'm ruining your game night and-"

"No, no, no," Andy said gently. Erin was looking at the ground again. "Erin, look at me." She turned her head up and looked into his eyes. "You're not ruining anything."

"Really?" she asked.

"Oh, come on," Andy said as he stood up straighter and smiled. "If I wasn't bothered by Dwight standing on my furniture, putting a thumbtack into my ceiling, and changing the whole dynamic of the game without asking me, I don't think there's anything you could do to upset me."

Erin laughed. "I can't believe we're playing on the moon!"

"I know, right," Andy said. "You better watch out, or I'll be sending my troops to conquer Hannon Land."

"Well you just better keep your eye on Bernard Land then, or you won't have it for long," Erin replied. There were no tears in her eyes.

Andy

"How could anyone ever say things like that to her? I just don't get it."

Erin

She smiled. "Andy's so great. Every time I talk to him, I just feel better."

Andy and Erin walked back into the game room together and took their seats. Kevin was staring blankly at the board, trying to decide what to do.

"Kevin," Dwight said, "the choice should be obvious. You already put your troops in North Africa, now look at where South America is. They're directly connected. If you don't get Jim out of South America, he'll get two bonus troops and use them to attack you in North Africa."

Kevin turned to Jim. "Are you going to attack me in North Africa?"

"I have no intention of doing that next turn," Jim said.

Dwight growled. "Kevin! It doesn't matter if he won't get you next turn, what about the turn after that? And the turn after that? And the next turn, and the next turn, and the next turn, and-"

"I think I'm going to attack Egypt," Kevin said over Dwight as he grabbed the two white dice.

"Ugh!" Dwight groaned. (Egypt was one of his territories).

"Okay, Kevin, do you know how attacking works?" Andy asked.

"No," Kevin said.

"Okay, first of all, you use the red dice. When you're attacking, you can roll a maximum of three dice, assuming you have four or more troops in your territory that you're using to attack. If you have three troops on your territory, you can roll two dice; if you have two troops you can roll one, and if you only have one troop, you can't attack."

"Okay."

"So what happens is you will roll three dice, and Dwight, because he is the defender, can roll a maximum of two dice, assuming he has two or more troops on the territory you are attacking. Since he only has one troop, he can actually only roll one die. If his roll is equal to or higher than all three of your rolls, then you lose one troop. If not, he loses his troop. You keep doing that until you either stop attacking, or you take out his piece and move troops in."

"So, I can roll three dice?"

"Yes," Andy replied.

"Okay, I'm going for it," Kevin said excitedly. He put the white dice back and grabbed three red dice. Dwight picked up one of the white dice as Kevin enthusiastically dropped the red dice in the box. 6, 1, and 2. Dwight rolled his one die. 5.

"Kevin has the higher number, and therefore wins," Andy said.

"Shut up," Dwight snapped. "We don't need you announcing everything."

Dwight took his piece off of Egypt and Kevin moved three pieces in.

Kevin wiped his forehead. "That was sort've intense, so I think I'd like to end my turn now." His eyes darted from person to person.

"Of course," Andy said. "You can move your troops around to connecting territories if you want, or just take a card for conquering a territory this turn."

Kevin took the first card from the pile.

"My turn now," Michael said. He placed three troops on three of his territories. "Jim," he said. Jim, who was texting on his phone, looked up.

Dwight leaned forward and pointed at Jim. "He's cheating! No contacting outside people during the game. Not by cellular devices or any other medium of communication."

"That's not one of the rules, Dwight," Andy said.

Dwight sat back in his chair, fuming.

"I've got Central America, which is connected to your territory, Venezuela, in South America," Michael continued.

"I see that," Jim said.

"So, do you promise not to attack me there on your next turn?" Michael asked.

"Sorry, I've got to attack somewhere," Jim said.

Jim

"Lesson number three: attack every turn. That's how you get a card," he spoke professionally. "Cards are essential to winning the game of Risk because if you get three cards that match you can turn them in for bonus troops at the beginning of your turn, which could mean the difference between winning and losing. Therefore, I must attack Michael on my turn for the card." He smiled at the camera. "See, I'm learning something. Plus Pam just texted me and said I had to go into Central America."

"You could attack North Africa," Michael suggested, "there's hardly any troops there after Kevin moved them into Egypt."

"Hey!" Kevin said angrily.

"No, I made an agreement with Kevin," Jim said.

"You could attack other moon territories with Halpert Land," Michael said.

"Sorry, not going to happen," Jim said. "There's too many strong territories around it. If I attack it would weaken Halpert Land like Kevin weakened North Africa," (Kevin said 'Hey!' again), "so that's not an option."

Michael bit his lip as beads of sweat formed on his forehead. "Okay, fine. Fair enough. You can play this game however you want."

"I know," Jim said.

"Good." Michael rapped his knuckles on the table. "Well, then I guess I'll have to attack you in South America with Central America."

"Go for it," Jim said.

"Fine." Michael took the three red dice from the box. "Let's go."

Jim rolled 5 and 5. Michael rolled 3, 3, and 4.

"Double kill," Kevin said happily.

"Okay, Kevin, I think we can all see that," Michael said as he took two pieces off of Central America. "Think you've beat me, Jim? Okay, let's go again."

Michael picked up the three red dice.

"Actually, Michael you can only roll one die now," Dwight said. "You only have two troops left."

"Just shut up, Dwight," Michael muttered as he closed his eyes.

He rolled the three dice. 6, 5, and 5.

"Yes!" he exclaimed. "Beat that, Jim!"
"Actually, you have to re-roll," Andy said. "I have a strict no cheating policy. You can only roll one die.

"That's stupid," Michael said. "Jim's troops probably only have horses and muskets, my troops have tanks and thermonuclear warheads. And they're terrorists."

"Wow," Jim said with widened eyes.

"Well terrorist or not, you can't break the rules," Andy said.

"You know what? Fine," Michael said. He grabbed the three dice and rolled one back in. 1.

Michael looked up at the ceiling and sank into his chair, a heavy frown on his face.

Jim rolled two dice. 2 and 5.

"You lose one troop," Jim said quietly. "So you can't attack anymore."

"No," Michael said defiantly. "No. Re-roll."

"Michael-" Jim started.

"Okay, fine," Michael snapped. He took his troop off and threw it down on the table.

Jim

"That was a lucky win for me. I think."

Michael ended his turn, and Erin went. She placed down her three troops, but did nothing else. Dwight went next. He took the three pieces in his hand.

He looked at Jim with narrowed eyes. "Up until now things have been going your way." He put one troop in Schrute Land, which directly bordered Halpert Land. "But things are about to change for you. Oh, how they are about to change." He put another piece on Schrute land. "Prepare yourself for monumental defeat- the loss of your namesake." He placed a third piece in Schrute Land. "I am attacking Halpert Land with Schrute Land."


Author Note: Thanks so much for the reviews! They motivate me to update more quickly (I was originally going to write this chapter on Sunday). Also, I would like to give a shout out to romionefan4eva, whose very creative fanfiction "Elevator Rides" inspired me to write this story.