Chapter 4 Career Advice

Harry made his way back downstairs. A glance into the parlor told him that Ginny wasn't in there, and for some reason, though he was happy for all of them, he didn't feeling like returning to the celebration, either. Hermione and Luna sat in the best chairs in the center of the room, queens for the day, while the men congratulated each other on their virility and waited on the mothers-to-be. Harry could hear Percy pompously giving out advice about how to deal with a pregnant woman. Harry rolled his eyes; some things never changed.

He grabbed another ale from the ice box and made his way out into the garden. He loved the Weasleys, and he felt like they were the family he had never had. He never missed a birthday, or a Victory Day gathering, or just a Sunday dinner if he could help it. And he knew that they accepted him as one of them without giving it a second thought. But there was something about being here that made him wistful, restless. More so tonight, for some reason. It made him think on his flat in Diagon Alley with something like regret.

Harry wandered into the yard alone, not really going anywhere, enjoying the feeling of the darkness all around him. The sounds of the family wafted to his ears on the cool air. Someone inside the house had turned on the WWN, and soft music wove among the sounds of conversation. But they were back there, and he was out here. He was about to throw himself on the ground and stretch out on the grass when he heard a sound. It was a very soft sound, but thanks to his Auror training it was in his nature to notice even the smallest details of his surroundings.

Harry stepped farther into the yard. Now he could see her shadow, sitting under the big tree on the edge of the yard. She'd be invisible from the house, which he assumed was what she had hoped for. He listened harder, and he was surprised to realize that she was crying. He quickly but quietly covered the distance between them, then sat down next to her in the darkness. He didn't say anything, but pulled her toward him, so that her head rested on his shoulder, and his arm was around hers.

She turned her face into his robe and continued to sob softly. He felt so good, so strong, and she was being so stupid and weak, but she couldn't help it. She was happy for her brothers and Hermione and Luna, and she could hardly think of anything better than having more babies around. She didn't even know why she was crying, for Merlin's sake, but she pressed her hands against the ache low in her belly and cried anyway.

After a while she raised her head from Harry's shoulder. "I'm sorry," she said softly, wiping her eyes on her sleeve. Harry didn't say anything, just handed her a handkerchief. She cleaned up her face as best she could, and Harry offered her a sip of his ale. She smiled and took it gratefully.

"What's wrong, Ginny?" Harry asked gently, his eyes on her face.

Ginny wrapped her arms around her knees and looked out into the night. "I don't know," she sighed. "Really. I'd tell you if I did." That much was true. She and Harry were friends; they had been able to talk for years now. Though she had to admit that recently they'd both been so busy there hadn't been much time for it.

"Everything okay with the team?"

Ginny laughed. "Yeah, it is," she said. "More than okay, actually. Coach Lynch wants to bring me up to first string. A starting position."

"Ginny! That's great!" Harry exclaimed with a grin. "Congratulations! Why didn't you announce that tonight? I know everyone will be thrilled."

Ginny looked down at her knees. "Because I haven't decided whether to accept yet."

"Are you kidding?" Harry said incredulously. "Why not?"

Ginny shrugged, and leaned back against the tree, her shoulder touching Harry's. "I don't know. I know I should be excited, but it just doesn't sound as thrilling as I thought it would."

Harry laughed. "Yeah, I know exactly what you mean."

Ginny glanced at him in the shadow. "Do you?"

"Uh huh," he said. "This morning Kingsley told me he was being promoted to Head of Department, and he offered me his position."

"Really?" said Ginny, her eyes going wide. "Harry, that's amazing! Second in the department at your age!"

"Uh huh," he said again, in a carefully neutral voice.

Ginny gave him a swift look. "Oh, I see," she said. "You haven't decided whether to take it."

Harry shook his head. "Nope."

"What did you say to Kingsley?" she asked curiously.

Harry gave her a wry smile. "I asked him if he'd ever been married, or if he had a girlfriend. You should have seen him squirm."

They both laughed at that, then fell silent. Ginny leaned her head against Harry's shoulder again and sighed. "What's the matter with us, then, Harry?" she asked.

Harry shrugged. "I dunno. Wish I did."

Ginny slipped her arm behind Harry's back, and he put his arm around her shoulders again, drawing her even closer. She was now almost cradled in his arm, which should have been awkward, but felt perfectly natural. She felt him rest his cheek against the top of her head. They sat like that for a long time, listening to the faint music coming from the house.

"Ginny?"

"Hmm?"

"Where do you see yourself in ten years?"

She blew out a breath, thinking about it. "Depends," she said. "If I move up to the big leagues, I could be captain of the team, or even coaching by then. It's not a bad way to spend my life."

"And if you don't?"

"I don't know. They might not let me keep playing." She was silent for a moment, thinking that through. "What about you?"

He was silent for a moment. "If I take Kingsley's job, I could be getting ready to follow him as Head of Department."

"And if you don't?"

"I dunno...more of the same, I guess. No sleep, bad food, lonely flat above a shop in Diagon Alley..."

"Coming home with bruises?" She reached up and touched the side of his face gently.

"Yeah," he said, enjoying the feel of her cool fingers on his bruised skin.

"Sounds miserable."

"Yeah, it really does, doesn't it?" He closed his eyes and felt the night breeze blowing over them. He was surprised at how nice it was to sit out here with her like this. He pulled her closer to him and asked, "But what's your dream, Ginny? I mean, if you could have everything the way you wanted, if you could pick out the perfect life, what would it be? Where would your dream take you in ten years?"

Ginny sat up and away from him and wrapped her arms around her knees again. She was so quiet for so long that Harry wondered if she was going to refuse to answer. He listened to the music and studied her profile while he waited.

She gave a great sigh. "I'll tell you, Harry, but you can't tell anyone, okay?"

"Okay."

"I don't really want to play professional Quidditch," she began, twirling the end of her plait between her fingers. "Can you believe a Weasley would say that?" Harry smirked and she glanced over her shoulder at him, smiling a little. "Well, I mean, I love Quidditch, and I love to fly most of all, and I wouldn't give them up completely. But I--" she broke off on a frustrated little sound.

"What, Ginny? Tell me."

"I'd like to get married," she blurted out, resting her hands on her abdomen again. "And have babies. That's why tonight, when Hermione and Luna--" She broke off and shook her head. "I want what Mum and Dad had, but my own way, with my own house and my own husband and lots of my own kids...I want to take care of them, all of them, like Mum does."

Harry looked at her in the shadows. "That's your dream?"

She nodded, too embarrassed to look at him.

"Did you have someone in mind?" Harry asked. For no reason he found he was getting angry. "I mean, you can't do this alone..."

"No," Ginny said. "I don't even have a boyfriend, and I refuse to marry someone I don't love just so I can have kids." She sighed and looked up into the sky. "So, I might as well play Quidditch."

Harry's anger faded as quickly as it had come. She didn't even have anyone in mind. He remembered walking into the house earlier that evening and seeing Ginny, holding a baby in her arms, surrounded by noise and the messy remnants of a family dinner. He remembered thinking that she looked perfect that way. And as he remembered, the restlessness and aggravation of his life, the tight ball of stress and frustration that he had held inside so long, began to loosen. What would it be like to come home at the end of a day and be greeted by that sight? What would it be like if the twins he had held earlier were his own, if they called him Daddy instead of Uncle Harry?

It would be perfect.

He took a deep breath and cleared his throat. "Er...Ginny? D'you want to know what my dream is?"

She turned her face toward him. "Yeah."

"When Kingsley called me into his office this morning, I thought he was going to offer me Tonks' position, training the new Aurors," he said looking down at his folded hands. "I thought--I mean, I think I'd like to teach this stuff."

"Really?"

"Yeah," he shrugged. "I mean, I wasn't bad when I taught the DA, was I?"

She shook her head. "No, you were great. I still remember all the stuff you taught me."

He nodded, trying to find words for what he wanted to say. "I can't take Kingsley's job, Ginny. He doesn't have a life. He doesn't have a home. I can't stand the thought of living like that forever. I want--" He took a deep breath. "I want a home. Not just a flat above a shop."

Ginny was quiet as she considered that. They wanted the same thing; she because she had always known it, and he because he had never known it. That would take some thinking about. But one thing was clear to her; she felt closer to Harry right now than she ever had done before. She supposed that sharing their deepest secrets would do that.

Harry stood up, brushing the grass off his robes. Ginny barely suppressed a groan of disappointment; she wasn't ready to end this quiet conversation. And she didn't want him to leave yet. But when she looked up at him, he wasn't walking away. Rather, he was holding out his hand to her. Without a word, she took it and he drew her up into his arms. The music from the house wafted over them, and she leaned against Harry's solid chest as they began to sway in time to the music.

As far as Harry was concerned, the song could go on forever and it wouldn't be long enough. Yet again he felt that sense of rightness wash over him as he held Ginny in his arms, her body pressing against his. Why had he never noticed how well they fit together? He had hugged her before, as a friend, even in a brotherly way, but this was different. Following the impulse of the moment, he bent his head and pressed his lips to hers. She gasped softly, then closed her eyes and parted her lips. He kissed her gently, almost reverently, as though he couldn't believe she was real, and she trembled in his arms.

She hadn't thought of Harry like this in a long time, since she was in school. She had been over him for a long time, and was content to be his friend. But now he was kissing her, and suddenly all her dreams and desires took on a new focus. She felt herself quiver, and his arms tightened around her. The music was in their heartbeats now, keeping time as their kiss deepened. They continued to sway to its rhythm, their mouths playing over each other, unhurried and gentle, while their breath came faster and mixed together.

The song came to an end, and so did the kiss. Ginny's eyes fluttered open, and she smiled to see that the lenses of Harry's glasses were fogged up. He scowled and removed them, cleaning them on his robes while she watched, unable to take her eyes away from his face. It was such a familiar and well-loved face, but tonight it seemed to be the most beautiful face she had ever seen.

He replaced his glasses and looked down at her. She held her breath, waiting to see what he would say. He cleared his throat. "Ginny, I--" He broke off, swallowed, then started again. "Come home with me."

Ginny tilted her head back and laughed as joy bubbled up in her. She stood on her toes and pressed her lips hard against his. Before he could respond she drew back and looked up at him. "No."

He shook his head. "I know, I'm sorry, that wasn't what I meant to say..." He pressed his forehead against hers, so that Ginny felt the thin line of the scar against her skin. "Have lunch with me tomorrow."

"Okay."

"And dinner."

Ginny laughed again. "Okay."

"And breakfast the next day."

"We'll see..."

He gathered her up in his arms again and held her close. Suddenly he was sure about so many things that had confused him before.

"Ginny," he said, "When do you have to tell your coach about the position?"

She pressed her face into his chest. "They gave me until after the match on Victory Day. When do you have to tell Kingsley?"

"He gave me until Monday, but I think I can get him to wait until Victory Day."

She raised her head to look at him. "Why? You don't want to do it, why string him along?"

Harry shrugged. "I won't, but--"

"Harry!" Ginny said sharply. "If you sell out your dream now, I'll never forgive you!"

Harry gave her a long look. Everything had changed tonight. He couldn't sell out his dreams because all his dreams were bound up in her now. "I won't, Ginny. I promise."