(For simplicity's sake, when their both talking to other people or each other, I'm just gonna referr to them as Younger and Older.)
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Naruto's jaw hung slack at the information his older self had just given him; him, the proclaimed 'dead last' and least liked person in Konha was the son of two of the most respected shinobi in Konoha. Or it was slack for the few moments before it clenched into a growl, "He knew..that..that bastard KNEW! Does he even know how many times I've wondered if they had just dropped me off that damn orphanage and ran off. For that matter, even if he is the Hokage, where the FUCK does he get off saying I'm not allowed to know what the names of my OWN PARENTS even were!"
Slightly relieved he had the foresight to throw up a quick silencing jutsu around them before telling his younger self and a henge over his own whisker marks, Older Naruto looked up at the hokage tower, "That's what we're going to find out. I wonder how he's gonna like having his feet held to the fire."
"That reminds me, why the heck is your hair like that?"
"Been wondering when you'd notice that." Older chuckled, "Believe it or not, this is our real hair color, courtesy of Mom. Before I go on, I better let you know something; Dad didn't kill Kyuubi."
"Say what..?"
"Think about it, no human alive is capable of killing a being that's basically composed of living, sentiant chakra. Only other method: sealing the fox away."
Younger felt a slight chill run up his spine when it finally hit; the dislike for him getting even worse when October 10 rolled around...his birthday, and the day the Kyuubi attacked, "He..he sealed it into us, didn't he..?"
"Yeah..granted, it was either that or let her wipe the town off the map. Was ticked at him at first, since he was crazy enough to assume Konoha'd see us as a hero." Both Narutos let out a derisive snort at that, "Back to what I said before, for some inane reason the monkey had an extra seal put on us to hide the red. Odds are he thought we'd look up to Dad a bit more if we looked exactly like him."
"Nani..? It's bad enough he tried to keep me in the dark about my family, he had to screw with my looks too!"
"Thankfully, Kyu-chan was able to find and destroy it after I managed to snap her out of that illusion."
Younger froze in mid-step, "Ok, you just lost me there...'Kyu-CHAN'?"
Older scratched his head sheepishly, "Oh yeah. Heh, I should've started with that. Yes, Kyuubi is actually female; believe me, she is VERY female. Turns out the whole attack on Konoha wasn't even her work. An asshole named Madara Uchiha put a genjutsu on her to do his dirty work, thing was potent enough to keep her under the effects even after being sealed." Though when he said that, he quickly recalled what Bochi said, "Wait..he said I died for a little while. If so, then that means she was released...and got left behind! Or the Kyu in my time did anyway..FUCK!"
"An Uchiha?" Younger cussed under his breath, "Dammit, figures it'd be one of them. The teme's mother Mikoto was just about the only one that wasn't a prick. Sasuke was ok until the massacre, but now he's got the personality of a shovel. All the fangirls/boys and brown-nosing didn't help much either."
"Unfortunately he just gets worse." As to whether to tell him about being killed by the bastard when he was too wore out to react, Older decided to leave it for now, figuring the changes he was already invoking would neutralize that. "Anyhow, to sum everything up so far, Kyu found the seal and destroyed it, giving me back our true hair color. Plus, I found that our lack of chakra control was the cause of the chronic bed-head. Seems with it 'running wild', it acted a little like static cling and just frizzed it up."
"Really? Well, guess that explains why I could never get it to go down." Younger muttered, absentmindedly running a hand through his mop. It was then he glanced at his older self's tattoos, "Never thought I'd get anything like those."
"Oh these?" Older turned an around to show off the dragon, "Something I got while in prison."
"Come again?" Younger almost tripped over his own feet, "Did you say prison!"
"Yeah..you see, the whole shit can started when the old man's successor, the kunoichi he taught when he was a jounin, Tsunade Senju, she and her teammates were known as the Sannin. Unfortunately she preferred to get drunk and snooze instead of genuine Kage work. Some of the bastards on the council used that to advantage, getting her to sign things when she was half-asleep and/or shitfaced; one was a decree banning us from any chance for promotion past genin, saying it was punishment for 'excessive and unnecessary force' with their precious Uchiha when I finally dragged his miserable emo ass back after he defected. Was how I lost my eye too."
"Why the heck would the teme defect? Almost the whole village has their collective tongues up his ass."
"Thanks for the squick..." Older deadpanned, his face contorting slightly from the unwanted image that gave, "Prick decided he wasn't being given the power he thought he deserved, so he defected to join up with a pedo-crossdresser named Orochimaru, another Sannin. Anyway, I was rightfully pissed at learning about that little stunt of theirs, and at the old hag for signing something like that without even bothering to be fucking coherent when she did. By the time her assistant Shizune managed to tell her, it was too late. That bitch Sakura loved rubbing that little bit of info in my face whenever she could."
"Hey! Don't call Sakura-ch.."
"No, just don't. Learned the hard way that girl is the WORST choice we could have ever made. When the teme defected, I was dumb enough to promise her that I'd bring him back. After five, FIVE years, I finally dragged his ass back after beating the shit out of him. You know how she thanked me? With a chakra-powered slap and being called a monster, because he wasn't in pristine condition when I brought him back! If it wasn't for our accelerated healing, that slap would've broken my neck! Trust me, she's just not worth the trouble. And our so-called 'sensei' sure as hell didn't mince any words when he stated his disappointment in me about how 'rough' I was with him." A gutteral snarl escaped his lips, "The little fucker willing defected, and every time we faced off, he tried to use an assassination jutsu OUR JOININ TEACHER taught him! And what was his punishment, fucking PROBATION! Civilian bastards claimed the curse seal Orochimaru put on him was what made him act 'unusual'. That and trying to put blame on me, saying I ran him off out of jealousy." He snorted again, "Pompous, shit-kicking little motherfuckers... sorry, just get so pissed off when I remember all that." Older took a few calming breaths before resuming, "Where was I...? Right...well, the last straw came when I found Tsunade drunk again, when she saw me she started rambling about something, most of it was too slurred to understand until she let it slip about our parents. Granted, I was too shocked to really respond, but then she said three words that finally did it: Jiraiya's your godfather..."
"Who the hell's 'Jiriaya?" Younger asked. Though considering everything he had heard so far, he wasn't sure if he really wanted to know.
"The third Sannin, he writes a stupid porno book called Icha Icha, a book he researches by spying on women or couples being intimate.."
"Wha...why the hell would our parents make an asshole like THAT our godfather! For that matter, if he's supposed to be taking care of us, then where the fuck is he now!"
"Well, he was our dad's jounin instructor, so I guess they grew close out of it. As for where he is, who the hell knows, Though we didn't cross paths until the month-long intermission at the Chunin Exams. The fun part is, I found out that before then, he'd arrive in Konoha every few months to inform the old man about stuff he found out while he was out of town then go invade a gal's privacy before heading back out, but yet..not once did he even spare us a moment's notice. Couple with everything else, that was the last straw. I quit."
"Quit? Quit what?"
"I quit it all, wanted nothing more to do with the village. Threw my headband on the desk, when Shizune saw me, I let her know. Told her I had had my fill and was washing my hands of Konoha. Didn't even wanna be Hokage after all that. Gathered up what I could, told those that mattered what was going on and said my goodbyes. At eighteen, I was officially a free agent. Granted, I still had to worry about a group Madara led called Akatsuki, a band of high rank missing-nin that wanted to extract Kyuubi out of me for some insane world conquering scheme; but I was able to keep out of reach for a few years. Thankfully by then my hair was the color it is now and didn't stand out too much. Did a few odd jobs here and there, a little bit of mercenary stuff, and ditching hunter-nin the council sent, claiming I was 'Konoha's property' and shit like that; thankfully I had Kyu-chan watching my back. This is where the prison part comes in...while in Kusa I caught a pair of lowlifes taking liberties with a girl who looked to be less than half his age. Needless to say, the look on her face was enough to tell it wasn't consensual. Now, by then I had already killed more than a few people, mostly bandits and the odd ninja with an overly inflated opinion of themselves, so I had no qualms about slashing them both up."
Younger winced at the thought. He knew killing was part of the job but it still unnerved him a little. " Hold on..if the two you killed were raping a girl, why'd they put you in jail?'
"Ah, the laws in Kusa are a little weird; namely anyone seen committing a crime, intentionally or otherwise is supposed to be brought in alive to stand trial regardless. Killing them is supposed to be a last resort only; don't ask me why they have that. I've always made it a point that I catch a child molester or rapist, I only leave a corpse. Unfortunately, the guys I killed were the nephew and cousin of a somewhat prominent merchant in Kusa and he wasn't happy about a 'foreigner' killing his family, regardless of the crime. Thankfully the girl's testimony kept me from getting the worst of it, but the guy still had enough pull to get me a 25-year sentence. "
"T-TWENTY-FIVE!"
"Not much fun, especially when it's that much time in the prison known as the Ring of No Return: a one square mile area in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by a hundred foot wall covered in chakra draining and inhibitor seals so prisoners could'nt try and get over if they had shinobi training. Guards were there only to put down any large scale rioting. Aside from that, it was 'look out for number one'. Prisoners there killed each other almost as fast as new ones were brought in so survival was everything. Met a guy who was there for theft who had a knack for tattooing. Most of his work was for decoration, but I managed to get him to put a chain of barrier and weight seals on me, hidden under the dragon tattoos. The seals let me continue training while I was incarcerated, building up my strength and chakra control."
"Whoa..I..uh..wow.." Was pretty much all Younger could really get out.
"Yeah, was a hell of a time. Anyway, It's best I stop with my life story for the time being; I'll tell you more later. Right now we got a wrinkled monkey to hang by his toes!"
"Yeah, let's go!" The two picked up their pace and marched straight for the tower.
"When we get there, just follow my lead."
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Sarutobi was doing his best to try and not think about what had happened a few minutes ago, already calling for someone to repair the glass on the portrait. However, luck wasn't on his side in that regard.
"Kami, I need to calm down..it's not like something's just going to come tearing the doors..."
As if on cue, one of the doors to his office was kicked halfway off its hinges.
"Hey! I'm looking for a punk named Hiruzen Sarutobi!"
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Man! You wouldn't believe how many times I had to go and rework parts of this till I liked the flow.
Yes, Older Naruto is somewhat...bitter towards a hefty chunk of Konoha.
Little bit of info: NONE OF MY STUFF IS ABANDONED! I work on it as I get inspiration and right now I'm getting more for Naruto instead of my HP fics.
