Title: A Paparazzi Love Story

Disclaimer: Should read DeathNote by Tsugumi Ohba (writer) and Takeshi Obata (artist) before reading this drabble.

Rating: PG for adult conversations


Chapter Four: A Misa Misa Misadventure

Light moaned and groaned loudly over the waking nightmare he presently was living. None of his companions, however, paid him any attention. They were all too busy reading details about his upcoming nuptials in the Sun. The two idiots and one genius detective, all huddled on the foot of his bed, reading over each other's shoulders, completely disregarding his distressed mental state. Some friends they were. He wondered if he could push all three off the bed at once. Probably not. L would just kick him in the chest again anyway.

Trying to get a hold of his sanity, Light reviewed everything that had made this morning the most bizarre one he had ever lived.

Of course, he was still fuming about the article. Check.

He was still dazed over his potential gayness. Double Check and add a Whammy.

He was shocked that L might be hot for him. Check, Check and Hold that thought.

Uhmm… maybe not so shocked since he really was a gorgeous fellow and well, a genius like L. Actually, they would make a very striking couple.

Okay, scary thoughts that had him pairing himself with L and finding it more than acceptable, were quickly repressed as he went onto his next mental bullet point. A point, which in fact, just returned him to analyzing L's probability of desire for him.

He was still amazed the other man had even tried anything. Sorting through his feelings, he now realized the biggest let down presently was L didn't kiss him on the mouth. How come? Sure, they were interrupted. But who starts a romantic conquest with necking? Some genius he is. Hold it. Did he just refer to himself as a romantic conquest?

The gravity of his present thoughts finally forced Light into action.

"I can't take this conversation anymore," he yelled insanely.

Three pairs of surprised eyes critically assessed him, and yet each came to different conclusions about his freak-out.

"What's his problem?" Matsuda callously asked, thinking Light always acted like a drama queen when he wasn't the center of attention.

"Not sure," Misa replied distantly, returning to oohing and aahing over the dress the Sun pictured she might wear at her wedding with much more enthusiasm. While she loved her Light, he just wasn't as important as making certain she memorized every detail of the Sun's article so she could repeat them to her manager, friends, fans and anyone else who would listen later today.

L smiled enigmatically at the preoccupied trio in his bedroom before clearing his throat loudly and answering, "Light-kun passed the 'are you gay or not quiz' last night with flaming colors."

Light shot into an upright position at that remark. "Flying, you bastard! The saying is flying colors. Not flaming!"

He jerked on L's portion of the chain. He knew that he couldn't catch the insomniac off-balance again today, but if he yanked hard enough, he hoped he might get a rise out of L. He definitely was in the mood to kill him!

However, L, having been pushed off this bed three times already, had successfully anchored himself and was not affected at all by Light's attack.

Unfortunately, the other two occupants of the bed had no such forewarning. They both rolled off the bed into one lopsided, kinetic heap. Misa's waving arms did nothing to keep an extremely, flustered Matsuda from waving his arms either, especially since the girl was sprawled on top of his supine body. He felt his body temperature rise immensely as she struggled unsuccessfully to push off him without the use of her arms and hands. They, of course, were still flapping uncontrollably in front of his bright, crimson face.

"What?" Misa exclaimed. "Misa Misa's Light is not gay!"

"I believe the lady doth protest too much," L breathed in Light's ear as they hung their heads over the side of the bed to watch the spectacle Matsuda and Misa made of themselves.

Light smacked him upside the head. "Shut-up. Just shut-up already."

L's head reverberated from the weight of Light's hand, but he just shrugged when he regained his bearings. He deserved it. Not caring at all about the fuming boy glaring harshly at him, he turned again to watch Misa and Matsuda.

Misa screeched apologies at Matsuda, who was slowly developing the same problem Light and L had found themselves sporting only moments ago before being rudely interrupted.

The two men on the bed kept silent but laughed inwardly as they watched Matsuda and Misa slowly untangle themselves. Light had given up on making L spontaneously combust with his angry glare when the two idiots rolling on the floor became more entertaining. Anyway, for some reason his hateful expressions didn't work on L like they did on most people and that took all the fun out of that.

Honestly, with the noise Misa was making, Light thanked his lucky stars it was Matsuda pinned beneath her and not him. Misa in freak out mode was a horror movie in the making and not one Light wished to have a part in.

Matsuda, finding his voice despite the pain he was in, commanded Misa to be still.

"No more talking, arguing or speaking, Misa, until I can push you off of me, Okay," Matsuda imperiously intoned.

"Okay, Matsuda," Misa cheekily replied. Smiling hugely at the man struggling to capture her flapping arms and pin them at her side. After accomplishing this task, he flipped her off of him, and quickly sat up with his knees pulled into his chest.

Still feeling the burn in his groin area, Matsuda, looked at the girl standing up and moving towards the bed. Flustered, he turned away, only to look guiltily into the faces of two, very curious geniuses staring hard at him.

L nudged Light to make certain the younger man was seeing what he was seeing. Light grinned widely when he felt the nudge. They looked at each other before bursting into a raucous round of laughter.

"Not funny, guys," Matsuda whined.

"What, What?" Misa ranted, looking between the laughing men on the bed and an embarrassed Matsuda.

The young officer let his head flop on top of his folded knees. Burying his face, so that no one in the room could see how brilliantly flushed it was.

Misa still oblivious to Matsuda's situation rounded on L. "You pervert, you cannot accuse my Light of being gay?"

"I did not, GQ Magazine did," L loftily answered with a smirk. "You gave it to him, didn't you?"

"Oh goody, did you fill it out?" Misa excitedly questioned, bouncing on the heels of her feet and changing the subject so abruptly that even L was speechless.

"Well…, where is it?" She demanded, still bouncing like an overinflated basketball.

Lost for words, L looked to Light for help, but his expression revealed he was just as confused as L. Had she not comprehended what L just said? Did she not care her precious Light was gay?

"Hand it over, Light," she prompted.

"The magazine," she added, when he gazed at her in bewilderment.

Oh that, although Light wasn't certain what else she could have meant, and mentally regrouped. Why was he acting like a dunce? Oh yeah, maybe because he and L had only minutes ago been necking!

It was nice to see that Matsuda and L seemed as speechless and dim-witted as he was at the moment. They both stared cluelessly at the actress, now bouncing on the end of the bed in a sitting position, chattering away about the authenticity of GQ's quiz results.

Light retrieved the magazine and handed it to Misa, scooting as far away from her as he could get, not quite sure of the reaction she would have once she reviewed his answers. Only when the smirking detective wrapped a possessive arm around his shoulders did he realize he had subconsciously cowered close to L for protection.

"Get off," he bit out, trying to push the older man roughly away.

L simply clung tighter, whispering in Light's ear, "Does Light-kun need to be placed in the witness-protection program? Who knows what Misa Misa might do? She can be a bit rabid in her pursuit of Light-kun."

"You're not helping the problem, L," Light furiously snapped.

"Misa Misa does not like being compared to dogs," Misa replied, startling the two males out of their temper tantrums. She looked accusingly at L before returning to the magazine, and tapping her pursed lips with her index finger. She appeared to be thinking, but Light and L exchanged glances that said they both highly doubted it.

"Matsuda, would you like a spot on the bed?" L queried snarkily, bored with the silence pervading the room.

Matsuda not missing the sarcastic tinge to L's words, hatefully stared at him too.

Wow! If any of these three were presently, Kira, L would have needed to fear for his life.