Chapter 4
Beauty and the Geek
"Mhmm! Yes, just a little more eyeshadow there and...!"
Sitting in front of a mirror and diligently applying more makeup to her face was an incredibly attractive, young woman. With a dab here and a dab there, she let out a gasp awash with excitement at how well the eyeliner went with her almost flawless, dark skin. She had presumed it was impossible to make herself more beautiful, though she was pleasantly surprised to find herself wrong.
"Alright! There's no way I can lose the Miss Mali-U competition now! I'll even be able to beat Mandy!" she stated. Her voice brimmed with confidence, and as she blew a few kisses at her own reflection, she added, "Now then, which shade of lipstick should I use? I was thinking coral blue, but..."
A sudden noise inside of her dorm room caused the girl to leap in fright. Her head immediately shot over to her door, yet there was no one there. She had locked it the second she returned from a night of partying, so it shouldn't have been possible for anyone to enter anyway. Why was it then that she felt as if a pair of eyes were glowering at the back of her head?
"H-Hello?" she asked timidly. "I-Is someone there?"
Her supposedly locked door creaked open just then. Panic filled her features while it did so, and in her haste to get up and flee, she swept her arm across everything on the counter she had been sitting in front of. Various makeup products and other knick knacks crashed against the carpeting. However, the sounds of them shattering were overshadowed by the girl now screaming for her life. A bright, pink flash enveloped her afterward and could be seen from the dorm's nearby window for miles ahead.
#
Morning came upon Malibu University faster than Chris liked. It had solely been her third day of college, yet she had grown weary of the experience already. Therefore, dragging herself to her Physics 101 class was more of a challenge than it should have been.
"Gah! Out of my way, you imbecile!" she shouted at a boy who for some reason was catching a football thrown at him by another person down the hallway. Chris could tell by their apparel that they were members of the Mali-U football team. "W-What are you doing?!"
"O-Oh, sorry!" the youth replied, grinning in a goofy manner.
Chris rolled her eyes and strolled past him. For a moment there, she seriously debated on knocking him out with a swift roundhouse kick. That would probably draw too much attention to herself though, something she wasn't supposed to do considering she was a undercover agent for SOAP, Spies Organized Against Peace.
"Like I'd let some stupid jock blow my cover."
Of course, the reality she still had a false identity to blow in the first place was more than a little aggravating to her. Doctor Heisenberg's invention was already in SOAP's hands, and the good doctor himself had been apprehended and imprisoned by WOOHP. If it weren't for Scar, her boss, being so sure there remained some value in her staying undercover, she would be kicking back in her old quarters at SOAP headquarters this very instant. Instead, she was heading to a class that no longer had an instructor.
"...Well, I suppose that big test Heisenberg had scheduled for today won't happen at least..."
She actually laughed at her own joke. Nearby students glanced at her in confusion. Despite this, she continued to giggle merrily. It wasn't often she was able to find levity in anything. Being a spy for SOAP was often a humorless profession. It was because of this that for the moment, she didn't care how stupid she must have appeared.
"Hmm? What's this?"
Walking down another hallway, Chris was greeted by a plethora of posters and signs that all mentioned something about the upcoming Miss Mali-U competition. Smacking her lips, the contest was something she had been trying to get out of her head since yesterday.
"...Why in the hell did I join this stupid thing on such short notice?" she wearily asked herself. She blamed her misfortune on Mandy, the resident mean girl on campus. Chris' spontaneous decision had been a result of Mandy's ability to irritate even the hardiest of individuals.
"On the other hand, crushing heris one reason I'm glad I decided to sign up..."
Her attention shifted to the crowd gathering around something up ahead. Her curiosity got the better of her, and she trailed behind everyone to find out what all the commotion was about. Immediately, she gasped upon seeing Sam, Alex, and Clover all standing on their tiptoes in order to see over the tall jocks in front of them.
W-Why is it that I can't seem to avoid these three for even five seconds?
"Chris!" said Sam after sighting her. "Good morning!"
"Morning!" said Clover.
"Hey there!" added Alex. "How's it going?"
"G-Good morning," said Chris quietly, becoming apprehensive for some reason. "W-What's going on over here?"
She discovered what for herself after a portion of the masses parted enough for her to get a glimpse of what had those present gossiping. Standing on top of a small stage was Mandy, who was wearing a very elaborate dress that certainly wasn't something one would wear just to go to school.
"That's right! Take as many pictures of me as you can, everyone! I have to make sure as many people as possible see how great I look right now!" Mandy bellowed before laughing her usual laugh, one that was just as grating as always to Chris. "Don't I just lookfabulous?"
"...What the hell does she think she's doing?" Chris snarled under her breath.
"Can you believe Mandy right now? I think she's showing off the dress she's going to wear for the Miss Mali-U competition," Sam explained. "So much for the element of surprise."
"Yeah, if I have to watch anymore of this, I'm pretty sure I'm going to hurl up that nonfat latte I had earlier this morning," said Clover, who legitimately looked sickened.
Mandy cackled again and then screamed, "TRENT! What are you doing?! I need some more spotlight over here!"
That was the last thing Trent wanted to hear. Having no choice but to heed Mandy's order, he wheeled out another large lamp and made sure to get her good side, struggling as he did so. This prompted Chris to shake her head.
"Someone really needs to get Mandy off her high horse," she stated.
"Hey, that's why we have you!" said Alex. "You gotta beat Mandy for all of us!"
"That's right!" Clover's eyes were gleaming for some reason while she spoke. "And you're not gonna do it alone either! With the two of us in the competition, we'll crush Mandy once and for all! We totally have to take pictures of her crying afterward and spread them all over the Internet!"
"I think that last part might be...taking things a bit too far," said Sam alongside a few half-hearted chuckles.
"Hmm? Wait, you're entering too, Clover?" asked Chris.
"That's right! It would be a crime if someone as beautiful as me didn't!"
This response was one of the reasons Chris was questioning her place in the contest.
"Oh, look, the 'Three Stooges' are here!" Mandy, having spotted Sam, Clover, and Alex, snickered ahead of catching a glimpse of Chris standing next to them. "Oh, wow! Looks like you girls have added a fourth member to your little gang! I should have known someone like her would be hanging out with the likes of you three!"
Chris rolled her eyes at the remark without indulging it with a response.
Mandy wasn't done apparently. "So, how do I look? Good, right? Hahaha! You and Clover might as well just drop out of the pageant right now!"
"Whatever, Mandy! You look about as good as a used handbag right now!" growled Clover. "The only kind of competition you could ever hope to win is a costume contest when you're wearing a mask like that!"
Mandy rose an eyebrow at this. "'M-Mask?!' I'm not wearing a mask!"
"Really now? That's your real face then? I thought you were wearing all that makeup because you were auditioning for the part of a monster in some horror movie!"
The hallway erupted into a frenzy of laughter at Clover's remarks, something that made Mandy's heavily dressed up features redden. Even Chris got a good chuckle out of it. Witnessing Mandy being humiliated was even more satisfying than she had imagined.
"Y-You're justjealous, Clover!" stated Mandy. She managed to calm down somewhat. "It must really suck to be you, considering you always dress like one of those Valley Girls! Hmph! Come on, Trent! WE'RE LEAVING!"
Trent obediently followed after Mandy and cringed when she abruptly tripped on her long dress, slamming face first into the floor. Another torrent of laughter swept through the corridor.
"T-That'snot funny!" Mandy screamed. She held her now bloodied nose and glared in Trent's direction. "What are you doing, you nincompoop?! Help me up already!"
"Y-Yes...Mandy..." Unenthusiastically, Trent came to her aid.
"That Trent guy...does he have brain damage or something?"
"Hmm? Why do you ask that, Chris?" said Sam.
"Because that's the only reason I could see him hanging out with Mandy on purpose."
"Pretty harsh...but pretty true," Alex had to admit.
The WOOHP spies yucked it up at Chris' remark, yet whilst they did, Chris began to fidget around. There was something she had been meaning to ask them, but now that she had the opportunity, she found herself unable to. Blood rushed to her cheeks, and though she tried to hide this, Sam, Alex, and Clover soon realized something was up.
"What's the matter? Are you alright?" asked Sam.
"D-Do you have a tummy ache or something?" inquired Alex.
"Ugh! Don't tell me you tried out the 'Mystery Meatloaf' they're serving on campus today?!" said Clover. "You're so gonna be puking for days!"
Chris muttered something the girls weren't able to discern.
"You're going to have to speak up!" said Clover.
Chris again spoke, this time in a louder voice. Nevertheless, she still wasn't understood.
"You're almost there!" said Alex.
Taking a huge breath, Chris screamed, "I-I NEED HELP WITH THE MISS MALI-U COMPETITION!"
Numerous, befuddled glances shot over in her direction, whereas Sam, Clover, and Alex were left stunned by her unexpected declaration.
"Uh...I don't know anything about fashion and makeup and all that other crap, alright?!" Chris stated in a much quieter, yet just as flustered, tone. "I-If I'm going to beat Mandy, I'm going to need all the help I can get! So, I've decided to...ask you three for assistance."
Requesting assistance from her mortal enemies half near made Chris want to puke. Desperate times though called for desperate measures, and as much as she hated to admit it, the three WHOOP agents were probably the best people to turn to in a situation like this.
"Ah!That's what was bothering you?" asked Sam with a smile. "You had me worried there for a sec!"
"Wow! You're really taking this seriously, aren't you?" said Alex.
Clover nodded. "Of course she is! This is kinda a big deal! Don't worry about it though, Chris! We'll help you out for sure!"
"H-Huh? Why would you want to help me, Clover? We'll be competition in the contest against each other, right? Wouldn't it be more beneficial for you to just worry about yourself?"
"Huh? No way! Even if we are going up against one another, I'd totally rather see Mandy crushed than turn my back on a friend!"
"...I-I still don't understand."
No one heard Chris' last remark, and she guessed it was better they didn't.
Chris, not wanting to be late for class, skirted off toward her lecture hall. She then stopped in her tracks, thinking how silly it was she constantly complained about being a college student while she was trying her best to be a model one.
"Jeez, where did the time go? Guess we all better get to class," suggested Sam. "You guys can discuss the Miss Mali-U contest some more later on. How about we all meet up at Mali-U café after our classes are done?"
"Sounds like a great idea! I'll buy the drinks!" said Clover.
"And I'll make them..." Alex sighed. "How come I'm the only one that has to work at the café today?!"
Chris chose not to join in on the other's laughter, nor did she move when Sam, Alex, and Clover headed off toward their respective classes. Rather, she tightly clutched the Physics book in her grasp, threatening to break it in half.
"...What in the world am I doing?" she scathingly mumbled. She continued to sulk, letting student after student pass her by on their way to class. "Why am I still hanging out with those girls? Why did I just agree to go to some café with them after school? I don't get it. I seriously don't get it. What's going on with me? Not only am I fraternizing with the enemy, but they've somehow convinced me to become excited about some silly beauty pageant. Perhaps this wretched school is poisoning my mind faster than I anticipated."
"What's the matter, Chris? If you don't hurry, we're going to be late."
Sam stopped to check on her friend, and Chris shook her head at the possibility of there being something wrong with her.
"I hear you. Let's go."
#
Christine and Samantha found their seats amongst their muttering classmates. Per Chris' prediction, the head of the classroom was vacant, and the usual equations and quantum subjects that often permeated the blackboard were absent. There was no longer an instructor for this course with Heisenberg behind bars. Still, the fact that it hadn't been canceled made Chris wonder what the school had in store for this lecture hall full of vexed pupils.
"Hey, I heard old man Heisenberg got arrested!" exclaimed a boy near Chris.
"Cool! I guess that means we won't have to do any work today!" his friend replied. Chris found the discussion strange because she wasn't sure why someone would attend college in the first place if they had no intention of doing any work.
"This is awful," said Sam out of the blue. Chris could have sworn her friend was on the verge of tears. "I was really hoping to learn more about physics, but how are we supposed to do that without a teacher? We were just getting to the good stuff too! If only Heisenberg weren't such a crook!"
Her demeanor was wholly different from the the two students Chris had just listened in on. Patting her on the back, Chris held back a smirk at this fact.
"I'm...sure it'll all work out in the end."
Sam sniffled. "Yeah, I guess you're right."
The chatter and commotion died down when an individual entered the classroom from below and began scribbling something with chalk on the board.
"Good morning, class!" said the woman below who was wearing thick glasses. "My name is Melody Jenkins, and starting today, I'm going to be your new Physics 101 teacher!"
Chris' jaw hit the floor upon hearing this. Melody Jenkins, the school nurse, had been her last guess for a replacement professor, and even though the woman was clearly standing in front of Heisenberg's former desk, she still couldn't believe what she was seeing.
"Tsk. What could this woman possibly know about quantum mechanics?"
"Okie dokie! I know you kids are probably shaken up after what happened to your last teacher, so how about we just get right to it today?" said Melody. "Today, we're going to be learning all about matrix mechanics! Get out your textbooks and get ready, because this one's a doozy!"
Chris stood corrected.
Sam, eagerly pulling out her book, stated, "It's about time we started learning about this stuff! I thought we'd never get to it!"
Chris wasn't able to join in on Sam's fun because her Z-Powder began to vibrate in her pocket all of a sudden. Standing, she knew she wouldn't be able to answer it with so many prying eyes about.
"Hey, where are you going? The lecture just started!" said Sam.
"I'll be right back. I...just have to go to the bathroom."
#
The sole place Chris could find to hide in was an open locker in the hallway. Dashing into it, she slammed it shut behind her and noted that it was a tight squeeze. At the very least, no one would be able to listen in on her conversation as she opened her Z-Powder to greet the smiling face of Scar staring back at her.
"Ah, Christine! How are you?" he began. "Say, why is it so dark where you are now? That isn't good for your complexion, you know! You have to make sure to get plenty of sun, especially since you're entering the Miss Mali-U competition! You have to have flawless skin if you want a chance at..."
"Alright, enough already!" Chris replied, cutting her leader off. "And I thought I told you to stop referring to me by my first name."
"Ah, yes. Of course. Anyway, I apologize for removing you from your stimulating lecture, but there is an assignment I need you to undertake post haste. I think you'll find it quite...ironic that it has something to do with the upcoming Miss Mali-U contest."
"I don't see why SOAP would care about some dumb pageant."
"You mean the 'dumb pageant' you entered the other day?"
Chris' face reddened. "S-Shut it, you! Just get to the point!"
"Gladly. The reason the competition is of interest to us is because the woman heading it, a Miss Kyla Sacks, is in the possession of something..."
"...that you want me to steal, right?"
Scar nodded. "You know me well, Agent C."
"Alright. That explains that, but not why this Kyla Sacks would have something you place so much value in. Who is this woman? I thought she was just heading the competition."
"According to our records, Kyla Sacks was a supermodel that disappeared suddenly a month or two ago. For whatever reason, she's now reappeared and is the individual who created and is running the Miss Mali-U contest. That's all we have on her at the moment. Anyway, I know it's moot to say so now, but I want you to enter the pageant, get as close to Kyla as possible, and find out what invention she currently has. Afterward, retrieve it."
"Understood. It shouldn't be too much of a problem. After all, she's just some silly supermodel."
I'm still taking down Mandy! I'll just consider it a little bonus to this mission.
"You're thinking of something sinister, aren't you, Agent?" asked Scar.
"What? N-No. Nothing at all."
"...I see. Now then, you're going to need some new gadgets for this latest mission. I've already had them sent to your dorm, but I'll explain what they do from here. Let's see now...where did I put those things?"
Chris, sighing, sat patiently as Scar searched his desk clean prior to stumbling across a black bag teeming with the aforementioned gadgets.
"You wouldn't have to do all that if you actually cleaned your desk once in awhile. I found a decade old cup of pudding in there one time," chimed Chris.
"...Y-Yes, I believe you're right. Anyway..." Reaching into the bag, Scar pulled out what resembled a harmless tube of unmarked toothpaste. "Don't give me that look, Agent C. Though this may appear to be nothing more than ordinary toothpaste, this is actually a gadget called the Cinnamon C4 Toothpaste. While youcan use it to ensure good dental hygiene, what it really is a very potent explosive that works wonders on anything you stick it against."
"...I don't even like cinnamon-flavored stuff. Why does it have to look like something as asinine as toothpaste anyway?"
"Did you forget already? All your gadgets are going to have to appear as common, everyday items because we don't want your cover to be blown in the off chance someone stumbles upon them."
"That I get. What I don't get is why you would make a gadget look like toothpaste." "...Moving on then." Next, Scar whipped out a shimmering, pearl necklace. "This item here, and I don't want to hear any lip out you about it right now, is the Fall For Me Necklace. Upon detaching the beads, they grow and will trip up any unsuspecting foe."
"Well, at least this one isn't as silly. It could certainly come in handy."
Scar frowned. "...And for your final gadget, we have the Jetline Boots. These shoes are rocket powered and will allow you to whisk around at your leisure. Careful you don't crash into anything while using them though. I'm certain an agent of your caliber will have no problems operating them, but I must inform you that a number of SOAP operatives have gotten into some rather nasty accidents in the past."
"Now that's a gadget I can use. Thanks again, Scar, and I'll be careful."
"Not a problem, agent. Now then, you had better get back to class. I wouldn't want you to miss seeing your new instructor in action. Good luck in the competition as well! I will be rooting for you!"
Chris hung up and closed her Z-Powder, relieved to hear that Scar actually had something for her to do at Malibu University. She had been beginning to think her staying there was a cruel joke on his part.
"I guess I'll have to keep an eye on this Kyla Sacks. I wonder, where can I find her? She shouldn't be too hard to locate, considering she's heading the Miss Mali-U competition..."
"H-Hey! What areyou doing insidemy locker!"
Light entered the confines of the locker just then, and a glowering Mandy leered down at an unsuspecting Chris. Quickly, Chris jumped out of the tight space, partly because she recalled how silly she looked inside of it, but mostly because she couldn't stomach the thought of occupying the same space as Mandy's possessions any longer.
"Er...I was just..."
"Aha! Iknow what you were trying to do! You were prying through my locker to learn all my secrets for the Miss Mali-U competition!" Mandy proclaimed. "Ha! Like I would be stupid enough to leave anything like that here! I always leave all of my secrets with Trent!"
Mandy quickly covered her mouth upon realizing what she had revealed, though Chris couldn't have cared less about what it was she was planning for the pageant.
"I-I just got lost is all. Sorry," she told Mandy before dashing away.
"H-Hey! Wait a second! Get back here, you loser! Y-You better not have stolen anything out of my locker! I will so have campus security after you if you did!"
Mandy let out a sharp exhale and furrowed her eyebrows before stomping off.
#
The end of the school day had arrived. As agreed upon earlier, Chris made her way over to the Mali-U Cafe to join Sam, Alex, and Clover for a drink and a bit of strategic planning.
"We have to prepare for battle!" Clover exclaimed, slamming her hand down on the table she and her friends were sitting around. "This isn't the time for us to just sit around drinking coffee! Everyone, focus!"
"...What in the world are you talking about?" asked Chris. "And you've got a lot of nerve saying something like that when you've already had about three or four cups of coffee."
"You know what I'm talking about! I'm talking about the Miss Mali-U competition!"
A bead of sweat rolled down the other's heads.
"I figured that was the case," Sam stated. "Still, is it really that serious?"
"Of course it'sthat serious! This is probably the most important undertaking of our young lives! Think of the publicity we could build by totally winning this thing! Think of all the cute guys that will want to go out with us after this is all said and done!"
"You keep saying 'we', but you do realize only one person can with the contest, right?" said Chris plainly.
"Would you just let me finish what I have to say?!" Clover screamed. Everyone did. They also gathered it was a good idea to not let their friend drink so much caffeine in the future. "Now then, if we're totally going to crush Mandy and every other girl going after Miss Mali-U, we're going to need to make sure we have the best outfits, the best makeup, and the most talent! Of course, all three of those things already apply to me, so there's nothingI really need to do!"
As Sam and Alex shook their heads in disgust, Chris couldn't help but note how much Clover was sounding like Mandy. It appeared those two had more in common than either one of them would want to admit out loud.
"Well, at least you have the right attitude about this whole thing," said Chris. "I really don't know how one could get so worked up over something like this, but I suppose I'm in agreement with you, Clover. Let's crush the competition!"
"W-Whoa," said Alex slowly. "I kinda figured you weren't into this kinda stuff, Chris."
"I'm not really. I'm only doing it because I need to steal..." Chris hastily bit her tongue and tried thinking up something to say to divert the suspicious glances coming her way. "Er...what Imeant to say was that I'm only entering the pageant because someone is counting on me to...um...win."
That was too close...
"Ah, I see," replied Sam, although her wary expression did not fade away.
"Okay! We gotta read all these over!" Clover slammed a gigantic pile of magazines onto the table, actually causing the structure to shake a little. "I gathered up every fashion catalog I own, so we should be able to find the perfect outfits to wear for the contest in them!"
"Y-You can't be serious, Clover! There has to be hundreds of these!" stated Sam.
"It would take us all day to read them..." said Chris. "And all night. As much as I enjoy reading, this...might be a bit much."
"I-I wouldn't have bothered calling off work if I knew we were going to be doing something like this!" exclaimed Alex. "H-How many subscriptions do you own?!"
"Eh, I lost count a while ago," Clover replied nonchalantly. "Come on now, girls! Quit complaining! If reading all these magazines is what it's going to take to beat Mandy and win that competition, then I think it's worth the pain, suffering, and paper cuts!"
All of that might have been fine for Clover, yet Sam and Alex debated if they should have been reminding her that neither of them were in the contest to begin with.
"What's going on over there?" said Chris.
Everyone peered to where she was pointing to see a large crowd gathering at a specific table. For a moment, Chris assumed it must have been Mandy showing off her outfit again, but she could tell that wasn't the case because she couldn't hear the girl hollering for Trent or complaining about something idiotic.
"I don't like the look of that. Maybe we should see what's going on," said Sam. Clover and Alex agreed and the two, along with Sam, arose from their seats. Chris followed behind soon afterward, thinking that the trio were better off keeping their noses out of other people's business. Blushing, she supposed she wasn't one to talk, considering she too was being meddlesome.
The four arrived on the scene, and they instantly cringed at the girl sobbing at a table. Her overall appearance had something to do with it, with her possessing unkempt hair, thick braces, and a pair of circular glasses adorned above her nose. Dramatically, the girl kept on sobbing, perhaps hoping to draw as many people to her as possible.
"Don't look at me!" she stated between melancholy pants. "I'm hideous! I'm afreak!"
The girl then charged through everyone and toward the café's exit in the same, melodramatic manner.
"W-What just happened?" asked a blinking Sam.
"And if that girl was just going to leave to begin with, why in the world did she bother showing up here so everyone could see her?" added Chris.
"T-That was Cassidy Jenkins!" Clover cried.
"Oh no! Not Cassidy Jenkins!" replied Alex. "...Wait, who's Cassidy Jenkins?"
"She's only one of the most popular girls on campus! She's won a ton of beauty contests around the state of California, and she was the favorite to win the Miss Mali-U pageant this year!"
"You could have fooled me! What happened to her?!" inquired Sam.
"I don't know! She looks like a total geek now!"
"Hey, she might not win Miss Mali-U now, but she's a shoo-in if the school ever throws a spelling bee!" joked Alex.
"I doubt that's a new fashion fad she's into," remarked Chris.
"Hey, that's less competition for us, right, Chris?" said Clover without a shred of remorse in her voice. She received a volley of glares from her friends as a result. "W-What?! It's true!"
Shifting away from the conversation, Chris spotted something glinting under a chair. When she reached down to pick it up, she saw that it was some kind of hair clip, one shaped like a butterfly.
Wait a minute. This was in the hair of that Cassidy. I'm sure of it. She must have dropped it when she ran out of here...
"What's that you have there, Chris?" Sam bent down to Chris and glanced at the hair clip in her possession. "You really are getting into the pageant spirit! Now you're trying on hair accessories?"
Chris answered, "No. I was just picking this up off the ground is all."
"Talk about tacky!" Clover snatched it out of Chris' hand and held it up, gagging at the sight of it. "These sort of things went out of style years ago! Just throw it away! We have more important things to worry about at the moment, like totally not being late for the tanning salon appointment I set for us, Chris!"
"C-Come again?"
"You heard me! Our skin has to be flawless if we're going to win that competition!"
Chris groaned, more at the fact Clover's words just now were the exact same ones Scar had given her earlier.
I don't care what Clover says. I'm going to hold onto this barrette and see if SOAP can analyze it for any clues. Meanwhile, I guess I'm...getting a tan.
#
The local tanning salon near Malibu University was quite an interesting place in Chris' opinion. She had never been to a locale like it in her life, and she found herself more marveled than dismayed at the hoards of attractive people that flocked here just to put their skin under a lamp and cause irreparable damage to it.
Why am I here again? The things I do for SOAP...
"Don't look so down!" said Clover enthusiastically, jabbing Chris in the shoulder as she spoke. "We're gonna look great after we come out of here, and then we're totally gonna pound Mandy's pasty face into the ground!"
"T-That's good and all, but...I seriously think you're forgetting something, Clover."
"Hmm? What's that?"
"Like I said earlier, only one of us can win the pageant. I know you just want to embarrass Mandy, but wouldn't you also like to win too?"
"Well, yeah, of course I wanna win!" Clover replied. "But that doesn't mean we can't socialize anymore! I mean, it's not like we aren't going to be friends after this, right?"
"I-I...suppose you're right..."
Despite her response, Chris wasn't sure at all what the correct answer was.
...Where does she get off calling us friends? I'm just using her so I can complete my mission. That's right.
Chris and Clover went into different rooms, where Chris was greeted by a buzzing tanning bed upon. Walking up to it, she peered at it curiously, unsure of how to actually use it. She guessed she really didn't have to get in if no one was looking, though she changed her mind when imagining Mandy's cackling face holding up the first place trophy for the Miss Mali-U competition.
"...Like hell I'd let that happen," she muttered as she prepared to cast aside her doubts and get in the machine. However, her Z-Powder beeped in her pocket, so she pulled it out, opened it, and stated, "What is it now, Scar?"
"...Is a simple 'hello' so hard to say, Christine?" said Scar on the other end of the line.
"...Stop calling me that."
"Of course. Of course. By the way, what are you doing at a tanning booth?"
Chris stammered ahead of replying, "I-It's not what you think! I-I was dragged here against my will! I-I am not slacking off on my assignment, I promise!"
"No need to explain, Agent C. I can clearly see that it's quite the opposite! You've gone to get a tan in preparation for the Miss Mali-U pageant, right? It really warms my heart to see you so dedicated to your mission!"
"...Alright. Sure. Why not?" Chris didn't bother trying to argue with him. "So, what is it this time? Did you finish analyzing that hair clip I sent you?"
"Yes, I did. It turns out it isn't as innocent as it looks. It's rather peculiar because it doesn't appear to be man made."
"What are you trying to say?"
"That hair clip contain traces of a certain DNA. Hmm, how should I put this?" Scar stroked his chin in deep thought. "It has...Nerd DNA."
"...'Nerd DNA?' What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"You know? Nerd? Geek? The kind of people all the football players and popular girls like to pick on at school?"
"Oh, I see..." A light bulb went off in Chris' head suddenly. "W-Wait a minute! That Cassidy Jenkins girl! She was the one who was wearing that hair clip, and she looked exactly like a geek! So, thereis something strange about her new appearance!"
"Are you saying she didn't look like a nerd before?"
"No. She was supposed to be one of the frontrunners to win Miss Mali-U."
"I see. Well then, agent, something tells me this Cassidy girl and your mission have a lot to do with one another. I would keep my guard up if I were you. Something about this whole mess smells fishy to me."
"I thought you hated fish."
"...I'll contact you if I learn anything more. Tata for now."
Scar couldn't wait to end the call after Chris' corny joke. She chuckled, having no recollection of him being so sensitive.
"What does what happened to Cassidy Jenkins and the Miss Mali-U competition have to do with one another? I'm seriously struggling to come up with a connection. Maybe…"
Without warning, a very loud scream emitted from the opposite room. Straightaway, Chris acknowledged it as Clover's, and she feared Scar's warning was already coming into effect. She rushed across the hall and slammed open the door under the impression her friend was currently under attack.
"Clover, are you...?!"
However, Clover was just fine. In fact, there was no one else in the room other than her. It took a few seconds for Chris to even understand why the girl had shouted in the first place.
"What happened to...your...face?" she said slowly. "I know you said we would look...'different' after we tanned, but I wasn't quite expecting...that."
Clover squealed at these words and tried blocking her features from sight. They remained visible though, allowing Chris to see the acne littering the blonde's face. A large retainer was attached to her mouth, muffling her speech a bit, and her once styled hair was now a puffy mess of bangs.
"D-Do I really look that bad?" Clover asked. Hesitantly, Chris handed her a mirror. She soon regretted this action when Clover let loose a high-pitched scream of revulsion that actually put a crack in the reflective surface. "W-What the heck?! I-I look like something that crawled out of the Mali-U science lab!"
"Um...it's really not that bad," Chris lied.
Clover wasn't listening. "Oh my God! Oh my God! This is it! My life is over! I'm totally going to need about fifty trips to the salon just to get my hair to resemble something halfway decent!"
The weight under her legs gave way, and she collapsed to the ground, totally discontented. Although this turn of event was an advantage to Chris and her efforts to win Miss Mali-U, she for sure didn't feel elated to see her friend in such a state.
"Er...i-it's going to be okay, Clover. Seriously, you'll be fine. Tell me though, how did this happen?"
"That's a...good question. I don't really remember! All Ican remember is that I was totally minding my own business and about to hop into the tanning booth to catch some rays when there was this bright, pink flash all of a sudden! The next thing I know, I'm looking like the Bride of Frankenerd!"
"...Something tells me whatever happened to you also happened to Cassidy Jenkins. I'd also surmise that someone's trying to take everyone out of the Miss Mali-U contest by turning them into nerds. Er...somehow."
"All I know is that this better not be permanent! I so can't be seen in public like this! I can't be seen againever!" yelled Clover. She then gasped, adding, "W-Wait! I-I can't enter the competition looking like this! Chris, you're going to have to enter and win it for the both of us!"
"I-I don't really like the sound of that..."
"Trust me! You'll be fine!" Clover smiled at Chris, nearly blinding her with her with the light reflecting off her braces in the process. "Now that me and Cassidy Jenkins are out, you're our only hope of stopping Mandy from winning it all!"
Chris remained apprehensive about the whole thing, yet she felt the matter was out of her hands. The last thing she wished to deal with was a victorious Mandy gloating all around campus for a few months.
"O-Okay, I got it! I won't let you down, Clover!" she said with enthusiasm, so much so that she surprised even herself. "B-But you're going to have to help me out, alright? Like I said before, I'm clueless when it comes to things like fashion and the latest trends."
"You got it!" replied Clover. She then sighed and slipped a paper bag over her face. Curiously, it already had two eye holes cut out in it for her to see. "Let's get out of here. I need to hit up The Groove and buy aton of facial cream right now. I look like a giant pizza..."
#
The days leading up to the Miss Mali-U contest passed by with Clover, along with a reluctant Sam and Alex, trying her best to prepare Chris for the competition. The task seemed simple at first, but as Clover soon discovered, Chris' ignorance to the world of fashion was far worse than she could have ever imagined. From scratch, Clover and the gang had to instruct Chris on how to stand like a proper lady, how to walk across a stage in high heels, and even how to tell which earrings went with what dress. Despite their diligent efforts, the information was having a hard time sticking in Chris' brain because of her relative inexperience in being a normal girl. Clover had assured her that she would be fine in time for the pageant, though her enthusiasm seemed to lessen with each day.
Finally, the day of the contest arrived. It was a day Chris had been dreading, but one she knew she couldn't avoid. As she headed in the direction of Malibu University's auditorium, she tripped in the red pumps she had been running in and landed face first into the pavement. Things were already going rather sour for her, it seemed.
"D-Dammit! How can anyone get around in a outfit like this?!" she exclaimed as she rubbed her aching skull. The glittering, crimson dress she was wearing might have looked nice, yet it was a pain for her to move in. "I-I look so silly..."
"I think you look great, although I don't think it's time for you to be 'falling on the job' just yet."
A hand extended its way toward Chris, and she grabbed it before being pulled to her feet. She was then greeted by the smiling face of Sam. Behind her were Alex and Clover, the latter still wearing a paper bag to conceal her visage. Though somewhat annoyed by their arrival, another part of Chris was greatly relieved to see them. Their presence settled the butterflies fluttering around in her stomach.
"Yeah, we can't have you quitting on us just yet!" said Alex. "The competition is about to start any minute!"
"...I understand the circumstances, Alex. It's just that it's rather awkward to get around in this silly dress. Clover, are you sure I have to wear it? And I really don't like this red lipstick you put on me. It feels weird. And these crimson earrings hurt too. I-I can't believe you made me get my ears pierced just for this asinine contest."
"W-What are you complaining about?!" Clover snapped, causing Chris to jump in fright. "At least you don't look like a total nerd right now! A-Anyway, you look great, seriously! You're going to do fine! Just...er...try not to walk so fast! We don't have any more bandages, so if you mess up your nose again falling, you're on your own!"
Chris moaned at this. "That makes me feel a heck of a lot better..."
"Are you going to take that ridiculous bag off before we head in, Clover?" Sam asked with her arms crossed. "It's gonna be weird sitting next to you when you look like that."
"No way! I lookway more ridiculous with it off! It's not going anywhere until I'm normal again, so you're just going to have to deal, Sammy!"
The prospect was the last thing Sam desired, and she frowned as such.
"Wow, you picked out a really good dress, Clover!" said Alex while she inspected Chris from head to toe.
"Teehee! But it's not nearly as good asmy dress!"
No one wanted to, but they eventually turned around to see Mandy in a puffy, purple, and flowery dress. Her hair was did up in an elaborate manner, so much so that Chris wondered how she was able to keep her head up from the weight of it. As much as Chris detested thinking anything nice about Mandy, the latter did look great at the moment, meaning she really was going to be an obstacle in the contest.
"Trent, don't ruin this dress, you hear me?!" Mandy snapped to her intern. He was holding up the train of her clothing so she could walk properly. "This dress costs more than your entire salary for the year!"
"B-But, you don't pay me, Mandy. I'm an intern."
"Exactly, so don't mess it up!"
Trent sighed.
Mandy caught a glimpse of Clover and said, "Oh, hi, Clover! You know, for the first time in your life, you actually look good! Hahahaha!"
"Tch! Leave us alone for once, Mandy!" Clover yelled back. "You should be getting ready to get your butt handed to you by Chris here, rather than wasting time talking to us!"
"Hmm? You thinkshe's going to beatme? That's really funny!dress"
"The only thing funny around here is the fact that you look more like a giant lilac than a beauty contestant!"
Everyone, save Mandy, got a good laugh out of Clover's jib. After hitting Trent for having the audacity to find humor in the remark too, Mandy glared at Clover irately.
"W-Why you...! J-Just know that I'm so gonna beat your little friend over there, no questions about it! After all, Iam the prettiest girl on campus and besides, it's not like there's anyreal competition for me to face today after what's happened to most of the contestants! Later, losers!"
With that, Mandy and Trent disappeared inside the auditorium.
"What did she mean when she said something about the other contestants?" asked Chris.
Alex answered, "She's talking about the fact that whatever happened to Clover has happened to a lot of the girls that were going to enter the pageant today. Over half the contestants have had to drop out already! Y-You don't think Mandy has something to do it with it, do you?"
"I'd bet half the designer blouses in my collection that evil witch does!" said Clover, fuming underneath her bag. "It's too cruel that out of everyone that got nerdified, Mandy was spared!"
"Itis far too convenient to be a coincidence," stated Sam, stroking her chin. "Then again, I doubt Mandy is behind all this. I mean, she'd do it if she could, but she isn't smart enough to come up with a plan like this. Still, it sure does seem like one of the competitors has something to do with this."
"Argh! Just give me five minutes with whoever did this! I'll totally make them regret ever being born!" Clover declared. It was hard for the others to understand her thanks to her massive retainer. "Ugh! This thing is seriously driving me crazy! Not to mention the fact it's ruining my flawless teeth!"
"Uh...Clover? I think the point of a retainer is to keep all your teeth aligned," said Alex.
"Whatever! The sooner it's gone, the better!"
"I certainly agree with you on that," muttered Chris.
The PA system switched on, and a person speaking over it informed everyone that the Miss Mali-U competition would be starting in approximately five minutes.
"Alright, that's our cue!" said Clover as she began literally shoving Chris in the direction of the auditorium. "Time to break a leg!"
"H-How would breaking a leg help me win?!" asked Chris with a horrified expression. "I can barely walk in this stupid dress as it is!"
"I-It's just an expression! It means good luck! Seriously, have you been living in a cave for most of your life or something?!"
SOAP headquarters was certainly starting to feel like a cave in Chris' opinion.
#
Pushed through a pair of velvet curtains, Chris stumbled her way into what she figured was the dressing room. There were a number of girls powdering their faces, making sure their outfits were okay, and styling their hair even now, all appearing stressed and simply ready to get the entire competition over with. Chris could without a doubt relate.
"Sit down over here!" Clover barked, seating Chris in front of a mirror. "I need to make sure your makeup doesn't run while you're on stage! That would be theworst possible thing!"
"I-I'm pretty sure my makeup is fine, Clover!" Chris pleaded. She fidgeted around in her chair when Clover grabbed her shoulder and began roughly applying more eyeliner. "S-Seriously! You're acting like one of those crazy moms at a little girl's beauty pageant! Wait, why do I even know what that is?!"
Clover, not hearing her, muttered, "Hmm...you might need another hair band or two..."
Chris did her signature sigh at this and tried to bear the pain of a brush being roughly grazed against her hair. Her tear-stained eyes moved over to another corner of the room, where Trent was running around trying to make sure Mandy was in proper order.
"Trent, make sure there aren't any holes in my dress! And I think you need to add another coat of nail polish to my fingernails! And don't youdare forget my French imported perfume! How can you feel good if you don't even smell good, right? Hahahaha!"
"Y-Yes...Mandy," Trent replied, out of breath. "I've got the perfume right here!"
The curtain at the entrance of the room was drawn open, and those present ceased moving when someone stepped in. A dark-skinned woman with black, lengthy, and curly hair smiled at everyone, and her mere presence sent those there with Chris into a hushed awe for some reason.
"Hello, my lovelies! It is a pleasure to meet you all!" the woman shouted joyfully. "My, aren't you all looking just wonderful! You may know me already, but for those of you that don't, my name is Kyla Sacks!"
Chris watched the woman carefully, pleased to see that she had bumped into the infamous Kyla Sacks. Nonetheless, nothing about the woman stood out to her other than her beauty, and she wasn't sure how someone like her could have an invention SOAP took interest in.
"I just wanted to come back here and personally welcome you all to the first ever Miss Mali-U beauty competition! While I want to thank all of your for entering, know that only the best, brightest, and most beautiful girl here will win! Even so, I don't want to make you all nervous, so I'll just say this: just go out there and have fun! I know there's not a lot of you left due to some...unfortunate circumstances, but as the saying goes, the show must go on! Shine brightly, my lovelies! I will be watching you with bated breath out there!"
"This lady sure likes to talk," Chris said under her breath. Kyla flashed a pose ahead of winking, grinning some more, and then finally taking her leave. The woman, while silly, really did seem completely harmless. "Maybe the boys back at SOAP headquarters screwed up on their intel this time around."
A powdering brush that might as well have been made of needles was swept against Chris' face just then. Coughing, she yelled, "I-I seriously think that's enough makeup, Clover! Are you trying to make me look like a clown or something?!"
"It's never enough makeup!" Clover responded. "Now, where did I put that perfume?!"
Chris sighed her oh so familiar sigh again.
#
Soon enough, the introductory phase of the competition got underway. All the contestants gathered on stage. The crowd, some of which were still trying to find their seats was larger than Chris had anticipated. Gulping some, she simply hoped she didn't end up getting stage fright. Squinting, she could make out Sam, Alex, and Clover waving at her from a row near the back. She returned the kind gesture, although she did so sheepishly.
Those idiots. They never cease to amaze me.
Her attention shifted to the trio of judges sitting at a table close by. Kyla was one of them, though that wasn't much of a shock to Chris. The woman sitting next to her, on the other hand, was since it was Nurse Melody Jenkins of all people.
J-Just how much free time does that woman have on her hands?!
The last judge was an unfamiliar face, yet at the same time it wasn't because the woman had an uncanny likeness to Mandy.
"Hi, Mom!"
From the stage, Mandy waved enthusiastically at the woman, who smiled and waved back.
"Y-You can't be serious! Hermother is one of the judges?!" Chris said in a much louder voice than she had meant to say her comment in. A few of the other contestants glanced at her momentarily. "Ugh! I guess we won't have a completely impartial panel here..."
This newest revelation wasn't enough to deter Chris. She was going to win this contest no matter what it took.
I've still got a mission to complete too. I wonder if any other SOAP operatives have to deal with as much crap as I do.
#
The main portion of the pageant got started, and as soon as it did, Chris quickly recalled the reasons she disliked these types of events. The first contest was a swimsuit one, where the contestants had to pose on stage for a short time in swimwear. When it came to Chris' turn, she appeared in a black one piece. Her outfit and posture were fine, but the fact she was unintentionally scowling the entire time was not. She intimidated both the crowd and the judges. Mandy came out next in a purple two piece, wasting little time in soaking up the limelight by performing a variety of poses and expressions. Her act pleased the crowd and more importantly, the judges, who all gave her rather high scores. Her mother in particular rated her the highest. Chris smacked her lips at this.
"You'd think she'd at least try to act like she was being fair to all parties…"
"This contest is totally rigged!" said a voice suddenly from the crowd that sounded an awful lot like Clover's. "I'd give that phony girl in the two piece a negative one out of ten if I could!"
Growling at this, Mandy stormed off the stage in anger.
The next part of the pageant was the talent competition. The acts performed included one girl juggling some bowling pins, another eating fire, and even a girl showing everyone that she could hold her breath for two consecutive minutes without passing out. Nevertheless, she had to be carried off stage because she had gotten a bit dizzy.
The following act was Chris'. For a couple of moments, she did nothing but stand quietly, inducing a low murmur from the crowd. Then, she whipped out four plates and tossed them into the air before pulling out a handgun and expertly shooting them all to pieces.
"...Thank you," she said in a deadpan manner while bits of fine china rained down around her. She then walked away without another word, leaving the crown in a stunned silence.
"Well, that sure was...'interesting'," said Nurse Melody, who could think of nothing else to describe the act.
Mandy appeared on stage afterward dressed in a magician's outfit. Straining, she wheeled out a box that had her intern Trent inside of it. It was clear that she was going to try to saw him in half, but for whatever reason, the trick wasn't going as planned. Even as she diligently tried to saw him in half, he remained one whole of an individual.
"W-What the...?! TRENT! What did you do wrong?! Why isn't it working?!"
"...Y-You've never even done this trick before, Mandy," groaned Trent. "I-I told you you should have practiced before coming out here!"
"Argh! You are totally ruining everything, Trent!"
"The only magic trick you should be doing is a disappearing act!" said a voice from the audience that again sounded like Clover's. The crowd erupted into full on laughter, whereas a red-faced Mandy kicked the box holding Trent off stage. A loud crash was heard afterward as and she then marched out of sight. Despite all this, the performance somehow still managed to garner a ten out of Mandy's mother.
"A-Are you kidding me?!" said Chris, watching from the back. "I-I bet Mandy could literally just stand there on stage and breathe, and her mother would still give her a perfect score!"
Following a frenzied series of events, including a pie eating contest, a bull riding contest, and a water balloon fight, the final part of the competition got underway. Chris, still soaking wet from having so many water balloons thrown at her, was just thankful that the only thing everyone had left to do was to go back on stage with Kyla Sacks and answer a couple of mundane questions.
"So, Mandy, could you please introduce yourself to the crowd and tell us a little about your aspirations for the future?" said Kyla.
Mandy, snatching the microphone away from her, stated, "I don't need to introduce myself because anyone who's anyone already knows whoI am! As for my plans for the future, like, I'm going to be the world's most popular celebrity! Everyone's going to want to emulate me, like they should of course!"
Those in the crowd covered their ears when Mandy's shrill cackling sent a torrent of feedback into the mic.
"Get off the stage!" said the same person that had twice already shared their opinion.
"C-Clover, would you be quiet!" said another individual that sounded like Sam. "You're embarrassing us!"
Mandy grit her teeth and said, "I-I know it's you back there that's been saying all those nasty things, Clover! Well, too bad for you because it doesn't matter what you try to do to sabotage me! You aren't ruining my big moment, you loser!" She then parted her hair and smiled before turning back to Kyla. "The biggest stars always have their fair share of haters!"
"Er...t-thank you, Mandy, for those 'interesting' comments," said Kyla as Mandy went backstage. "Okay, everyone! It's now time to interview our final contestant!"
Chris got her cue and walked over to Kyla. A majority of the audience was worried she was going to start shooting things again.
"Alright, Christine, please tell everyone in the crowd about yourself!"
"...Fine. I am your normal, everyday college girl that likes shopping, talking on the phone with boys, and..shopping."
The deadpan manner in which she delivered her speech was jarring enough that the audience once again descended into awkward muttering. That hadn't been the result Chris intended.
C-Crap! This isn't good. Clover told me that crowd would love it if I said dumb stuff like that, so how come it isn't working?!
"...A-Alrighty then!" said Kyla, chuckling nervously. "W-Well, what are you aspirations for the future?"
"I wish to ensure that peace is cleansed from this world. There are far too many goodie-goodies in it, and quite honestly, it pisses me off. Oh, I'll probably be a veterinarian if that whole thing doesn't work out."
There was no mumbling this time around, but complete and utter silence.
"...T-Thank you, Christine! Y-You can go over with the other girls now," muttered a thoroughly weirded out Kyla. Chris did as told, while the host of the Miss Mali-U pageant felt it was time to wrap things up before they got any stranger. "Well, this whole event has certainly been...something, ladies and gentlemen! Before we crown the winner, I just want to..."
"Thank you! Thank you! I couldn't have done it without you all!" said Mandy out of the blue. She stepped forward and took a number of bows to the confusion of everyone. "Aw, who am I kidding? Of course I could have! You don't need any help when you're perfect like me!"
"...I haven't announced a winner yet, Mandy."
"So? I was just trying to save you the trouble of having to read out some silly card! Everyone knows that I'm going to win this thing regardless, so we should just totally get it over with already!"
"...You know, it's words like those that are exactly the reason I despise stuck up beauty queens like yourself!"
The crowd gasped at the comment, but more specifically, the nastiness in Kyla's voice as she said it. Even Chris found it bizarre because in her opinion, it was the first time Kyla come off as truly sincere.
"H-Hey! What's that supposed to mean?!" bellowed Mandy.
"You heard me! Girls like you and everyone else that joined this competition are just arrogant, over privileged brats that only care about themselves! You all don't even deserve to win! Therefore, there is no winner! All of you lose!"
No one was really sure what was going on anymore. Whispering filled the seating section, though it was soon replaced with screams of terror when Kyla pulled out a long, metallic gun. Her countenance transformed into one of pure madness when she aimed the weapon toward Mandy.
"I think it's about time you learned a bit of humility, little girl!" she declared. Mandy shouted at the top of her lungs as a pink ray shot out of the Kyla's gun and hit her straight in the chest. She toppled to the floor afterward, remaining motionless for some time.
"M-Mandy!" cried her mother alongside the numerous gasps from the audience.
"O-Ow! That really hurt! What's the big idea, lady?!" Mandy managed to sit herself up after a bit. Despite her claim, she wasn't in that much anguish, though she did note something was off. " Huh? How come...my voice sounds so funny?"
Her mother ran on stage to check on her with a mirror in hand. Holding it up so Mandy could see her own reflection, the glass immediately split down the middle thanks to her daughter's screeching tone.
"W-What happened to me?! I-I lookhideous! I-I almost look as bad as Clover!"
The multitude of freckles on her face wasn't doing her complexion any favor, yet worse perhaps was the braces now adorned to her teeth and the pair of square-shaped glasses resting in front of her eyes.
"I-I've turned into anerd!" she hollered, wanting to faint from shock. "H-How could this happen?! I-I can't be seen like this! Someone, do something!"
"D-Don't worry, hun! We'll go see my plastic surgeon and fix all of this!" her mother assured her. The two rushed off the stage and out of sight. Meanwhile, Trent hastily followed after them, screaming for Mandy to wait for him.
Kyla wasn't satisfied with just nerdifying Mandy, so she turned her weapon on the rest of the helpless pageant contestants. With a zap here and a zap there, more and more shrieking and flailing girls were changed into geeks, much to Kyla's satisfaction.
"Hahahaha! Yes, this what all you deserve!" she howled. She had been ready to turn another contestant into a nerd when suddenly, Sam, Alex, and Clover landed on stage in front of her. Dressed in their WOOHP catsuits, they formed an imposing wall that Kyla was irritated to discover she couldn't get past.
"Stop right there, lady!" said Sam.
"Yeah! Drop the gun before someone else gets stuck with braces!" added Alex.
Kyla found their demands amusing. "I'll do no such thing! If you girls are really going to stand in my way, I'll have no choice but to ruin those pretty faces of yours as well with my trusty Nerdifier!"
"'N-Nerdifier?!' A-Are you saying that thing you have in your hands is what totally ruined my complexion?!" asked Clover from underneath her brown bag.
"Haha! That's right, my lovely!"
"T-That's so evil! That's it, lady! You're going down!"
"Uh...Clover? You might wanna chill a little," said Alex apprehensively. "You're totally gonna make your acne worse stressing yourself out like that!"
"Why are you doing this?!" Sam asked Kyla. "What could you possibly have to gain by turning all these innocent girls into geeks?!"
"Why, you ask? Well, it's really quite simple! You see, for as long as I could remember, I wanted to be a supermodel! I would see all the beautiful women walking down the catwalk and doing photo shoots, and I was positive I could be just like them! However, everyone kept telling me I didn't have what it takes to survive in a model's world! I used to be a nerd too, you know! For years, I was forced to work my tail off in order to cast aside that image and show everyone that I could do it, that I could become a successful model in spite of their hurtful talk! For awhile, I was a world famous model! Finally, all the blood, sweat, and tears I shed for my profession had paid off! Eventually though, people stopped caring! They stopped caring about my dream! I was cast aside, forgotten by the modeling world! I figured that if I couldn't be pretty,no one could be! That's why I started this contest! That's why I invited so many of Beverly Hills' finest to it!Revenge! All these dumb girls will understand how I felt when I was rejected! They'll never be admired for their beauty again! Hahahaha!"
"...That is by far the dumbest thing I have ever heard." Everyone moved their heads to see Chris, who was leaning against a wall casually with her arms crossed. Opening her eyes, she glared at Kyla and added, "Instead of hatching this idiotic 'revenge plot' of yours, you would have been better served getting over your situation and finding a different career choice. Right now, you just sound like a spoiled brat that's upset she didn't get her way."
A vein on Kyla's forehead throbbed at what she was hearing. "W-Why you! You're just like everyone that shunned me, rejected me! I'll make you pay for those words, little girl!"
Kyla fired at Chris, but the latter managed to roll aside just in time.
"Man, even jumping around in this stupid dress is hard!" she voiced.
"Chris?! What are you still doing here?!" asked Sam in surprise.
"You better get out of here while you still have your looks!" said Clover.
"We'll take care of this looney lady!" added Alex.
Nodding, Chris leaped off the stage and rushed toward the back of the auditorium prior to taking shelter behind a row of seats. She then sighed contently, simply glad to be off her feet. The shoes she was wearing were seriously beginning to drive her nuts.
"So, the Nerdifier was the invention Kyla had," she muttered as she used her Z-Powder to change into her black catsuit. Slipping on her ski mask, she said, "...SOAP probably doesn't have any use for such a thing, but I suppose my own opinion doesn't matter. Scar told me to bring back whatever it was that crazy Kyla Sacks lady had, so I better do as he asked. I'm just glad to be out of that stupid dress..."
After determining the timing was right, Chris jumped out of her hiding place and returned to the stage with a full head of steam.
"H-Huh? Hey, it's that mean SUDS spy again!" proclaimed a pointing Alex.
"For the last time, it'sSOAP, you blithering idiot!" Chris snapped.
"Of all the rotten timing! What's she doing here?!" cried Sam.
"I dunno, but I doubt she came just to watch the pageant!" added Clover.
"Whatever the case, we're going to have to stop herand Kyla Sacks over here!"
"Ha! It doesn't matter how many of you there are!" Kyla said confidently. "You won't stop me! Youcan't stop me! My dreams won't be crushed so easily! In the end, Iwill exact my revenge against the world!"
"...Would you put a sock in it already, lady?" said Chris. "If you planned your evil schemes as well as you ran your mouth, you might have actually gotten somewhere already."
"How dare you! I don't know who you are, but you're going to pay for that!"
Kyla fired off another round from the Nerdifier, setting her weapon on the highest setting before doing so. Because of this, the blast was much bigger than before. Chris managed to shift her body and dodge it by the skin of her teeth. As the pink ray illuminated her clothing, she reached for the pearl necklace wrapped around her neck, tossing it near her enemies. The beads of the Fall For Me Necklace grew twice their normal size the moment they made contact with the ground, and everyone unfortunate enough to be standing nearby were swept right off their feet by them. Chris took advantage of this and jumped down right in front of Kyla, who was busy sitting up and rubbing her pounding head.
"O-Ow! What in the world just happened?!"
"...I wouldn't worry about that. In fact, if I were you, I would be more worried about myself at the moment."
Kyla slowly leered up, gulping at the sight of Chris looming above her. "W-Who are you?! What do you want from me?!"
"Simple. Give me the Nerdifier and you don't get hurt. Seems fair, right?"
"Tsk! The Nerdifier is my life's work! There's no way I would ever hand it over to you!"
"...Wrong choice, lady. Now, we do this the hard way."
Cracking her knuckles, Chris shot a devilish grin at Kyla, one that made the former model scream in absolute terror. Fortunately for Kyla, Chris never got the chance to strike since her legs were abruptly glued to the floor via some kind of adhesive.
"W-What the...?! W-What is this stuff?!"
"It's 24 Hour Extra Power All Day Adhesive Hair Pomade," said Sam. She walked up to Chris while tossing a bottle of hair spray up and down. "Like the name suggests, you aren't going anywhere for awhile, SOAP spy!"
"What a...stupid name for a gadget."
The name might have been ridiculous, but the gadget certainly was certainly effective. No matter how much she struggled, she couldn't break herself free. That was the least of her troubles however. She quickly found herself surrounded by the three WOOHP agents that were always a thorn in her side.
"Looks like you've sure landed yourself in a 'sticky situation!'" taunted Alex.
"Luckily for you though, we don't have time to mess around with you today!" said Clover. "We've got a psycho ex-model to take down!"
"That's right, so do us a favor and sit tight, okay?" Sam added. "We'll be sure to drag you back to WOOHP headquarters as soon as all this is over!"
It wasn't as if Chris had much of a choice but to remain where she was. Considering her legs were the equivalent of concrete at the moment, she was not only powerless to fight back, but incapable of stopping the three spies from going after Kyla again. Grinding the rows of her teeth, anger began to replace her usual collected demeanor.
"T-They've got a lot of nerve just ignoring me like this!"
Kyla was ready to brawl some more, aiming her Nerdifier at the WOOHP spies and pulling back on the trigger. Sam, Alex, and Clover managed to jump up and avoid her attack before they dove downward, each one of them landing a heeled boot straight into Kyla's chest. This sent her flying backward and into some stage props with force. It was also enough to cause her to see stars and then slip into unconsciousness.
"Well, that was easy enough!" Alex, leaning down near Kyla, waved her hand back and forth in front of the woman's face to confirm that she was indeed out for the count. "She sure was one messed up lady though!"
"You can say that again. It's too bad she had to ruin her career by turning into such a nasty person! Can you believe she was seriously trying to turn every pretty girl out there in a geek with that Nerdifier of hers?" said Sam.
"Hello?! Who cares about all that?! I think there's something important you two have totally forgotten about!" Clover removed the bag from her head and in response, both Sam and Alex cringed.
"I-It's not that I'd forgotten. I was just trying to block out the memory," said Alex.
Sam added, "Um...I-I'm sure there's some way to reverse what's happened to you. Hang on a sec."
The Nerdifier was thankfully nearby. Sam cautiously approached it, taking it out of Kyla's grasp once she determined it wasn't going to randomly fire on her. She then inspected the device carefully and turned a dial near the top ahead of shooting the weapon at an unsuspecting was a bright, pink flash for a instance, and when it faded away, Clover pulled out her X-Powder to check her own reflection.
Squealing in delight, she patted her now normal hair and exclaimed, "Alright, I'm totally back to my non geeky self! Thanks, Sammy! For a second there, I was getting the strangest urge to solve a couple of trigonometry problems!"
An explosion went off from behind the trio just then, and for strangely, the scent of cinnamon was mixed in with the cloud of smoke that swept past them. While they coughed and fanned the vapor away, Sam was hit with a surprise attack, knocking the Nerdifier out of her hands in the process. Quick to react, both Clover and Alex tried vaulting in the air after it. However, someone else flew past them and snatched it up just as they would have laid a finger on it.
"I'll be taking that, thank you," declared a beaming Chris. She was hovering above the dumbfounded spies with the help of the Jetline Boots Scar had given her. "You know, you three aren't very bright. You really should have finished me off when you had the chance. I figured you would have learned that lesson from our last encounter, but I guess I was wrong."
"Whoa! Those are some really cool shoes she has on!" said Alex, who's eyes were glittering in amazement.
"You can say that again!" replied Clover. "I wonder if there's a pair of those in my size!"
"W-Would you get serious, girls?!" Sam hollered. "In case you haven't realized, she's still the enemy, and she's about to get away with the Nerdifier! We have to stop her!"
"I'm afraid I can't allow you to slow me down this time, WOOHP spies! The Nerdifier is coming with me, but as a consolation prize, you can have Miss Kyla Sacks over there. I'm sure she would enjoy your company."
Chris retrieved a detonator from her person. Pressing down on it caused the explosives she had carefully set up around the stage long before the start of the Miss Mali-U competition to all go off at once. Sam, Alex, and Clover were thrust from the vicinity by the resulting shock wave, enabling Chris to use the chaos to make her escape. She flew upward with her Jetline Boots, slamming right through the ceiling of the Mali-U auditorium. In due time, she was outside and home free. Her gaze moved from the Nerdifier in hand to the now empty tube of Cinnamon C4 Toothpaste in the other.
"Well, what do you know? This stupid thing came in handy after all. I'm going to have to ask for some more for my later missions. Now then, all I have to do is get this stupid Nerdifier back to Scar and head back to my dorm room before those WOOHP agents figure out 'Christine' is missing again."
#
Back inside the auditorium, the fires spawned by Chris' explosives were beginning to die down. A pile of rubble shook violently before an arm shot up from it. A battered and bloody Sam then burst climbed her way to the surface. A number of raspy coughs escaped her, they being a result of the thick, black smoke billowing everywhere. Her reddened eyes then adjusted themselves to Alex climbing her way out of some singed wood.
"Agh! I-I think I swallowed a nail!" Alex stated, spitting out a glob of blood. "I knew the Miss Mali-U competition was going to get ugly, but I never imagined it would bethis bad!"
Clover soon made her presence known by pushing a row of seating off herself. "Yeah, let's never do that again ever! I don't even wanna know how many nails I've broken..."
"I-Is everyone okay?" asked Sam, who was clearly still out of it.
"More or less," Clover replied. "But my outfit is totally ruined!"
"I-I don't think that's what you should be worried about right now, Clover! In case you've forgotten, that SOAP agent totally got away with the Nerdifier!"
"O-Oh yeah..."
"I-It's not all bad, right? I mean, what's the worst that mean, old spy could do with it?" stated Alex.
Sam frowned. "I...suppose you've got a point, Alex."
The three yelped when another portion of debris nearby stirred. Kyla Sacks crawled out of it and toward the exit, noting that she couldn't let things end here.
"I-I can still do it! My plan can still work!" she muttered to herself. "I-I just have to start smaller is all! M-Maybe I could ruin one of those pageants where the mother's force their daughters to enter!"
She stopped moving when she took heed of a shadow hovering above her. She leered up to see an elderly man dressed in a black suit gawking back at her.
"I'm afraid you won't be ruining anymore pageants anytime soon, Kyla Sacks. That's because you're going to be locked away in the WOOHP containment facility for a very long time."
The man snapped his fingers, prompting two similarly dressed men wearing sunglasses to lift a befuddled Kyla up off the ground.
"H-Huh?! W-Wait! You can't do this to me!" she shouted, flailing her arms about as she did so. "I-I'm Kyla Sacks! I'm afamous model, you know! Seriously, I won't look good in prison stripes!"
Her pleading did nothing to change her fate, and she was dragged out of the auditorium through the opening where the double doors used to be before being blown to smithereens.
"Excellent work, spies!" said Jerry Lewis, leader of the World Organization Of Human Protection. "You've managed to save the world from Kyla Sacks' nefarious scheme."
Jerry then glimpsed around, casually stepping back at the sight of a well-sized chunk of the ceiling crashing into the space beside him.
"...Although, you girls really didn't have to make a mess of the place in the process. Oh boy. The cost of repairs is going to have to come out of WOOHP's wallet."
"It wasn't us that caused all this nasty chaos, Jer!" said Clover defensively.
"Yeah! I-It was that SOAP lady!" Alex stated, twiddling her fingers. "You know we haven't blown up anything in long time!"
"Alex is right, Jer. That SOAP spy really did show up! Worse of all, she managed to make off with the Nerdifier you were telling us about," explained Sam.
"Oh dear," replied Jerry.
"B-But it wasn't our fault!" Alex insisted. "Er...w-well, I guess wedid kinda screw up, but it was because that lady was packing some serious gadgets!"
Clover added, "Come on, Jer! Can't you give us some better gadgets next time around so we don't totally get our butts kicked again?!"
"Actually, spies, I have been thinking over your little dilemma, and I believe I have come up with an idea that will take care of your little 'SOAP problem' once and for all."
Sam, Alex, and Clover raised an eyebrow at what their boss was telling them.
END
