It was happening again. She was dreaming about the deaths that were caused by her hand. She ran through the forest in a lethargic trance glancing at the shadowy figures that surrounded her. "Shepard," one called from her left. The voice belonged to Ashley Williams, gunnery chief who sacrificed her life on Virmire in the fight against Saren. As she ran further into the forest, Legion called out saying, "Shepard Commander, help us." Even synthetic life looked to her for help and she failed them. The ground and forest disappeared and she was now floating in darkness. Space. She was floating in space, the stars twinkling around her. She held her breath as long as possible, trying to avoid the inevitable, as she continued to listen to the slow leak of her suit. She released the breath and automatically started to gasp, her lungs feeling like sandpaper…

Jane woke up from the nightmare clawing at her neck and gasping for air, causing her heart to beat wildly in her chest. She reached for Kaidan on the other side of the bed out of habit, only to find his spot cold and empty. Panic flooded her as her adrenaline continued to spike from anxiety and fear.

"Kaidan?" Jane said looking around the room. She went to stand up from the bed, but as soon as her foot touched the ground, pain shot through her leg. Jane hopped on one foot to their closet, and grabbed the cane she hated so much. She headed downstairs to see if Kaidan was in the kitchen, or maybe on the porch. As she reached the bottom of the stairs, there was a sticky note left stuck to the wall.

Hey,

Had to head to London on a transport shuttle, Alliance HQ called in, needed a spectre that was actually returning their calls. I'm sure your leg hurts like hell, pain killers are on the kitchen table.

Love you always,

-Kaidan

Jane sighed in frustration. She knew she had no right to be angry at Kaidan, she was only angry at herself. It was her own fault that she didn't respond back to Hackett's email because she was afraid of what he would say about her disability. Jane was disgusted that she had to walk with a cane after everything she had survived through before. There had to be a way to fix it. If Cerberus could bring her back from the dead, than someone could damn well fix her leg. Jane picked up the phone.

"Hey Miranda, I need your help," Jane said into the phone.

Meanwhile, at Alliance HQ

Kaidan massaged his temples as he exited his meeting with the Admiral board, well, what was left of it. The chain of command was finally starting to come together, but numbers in the military were still low even a couple months after the war. Of course the Admirals wanted to pin a medal to everyone's chest and give them all promotions, but what did it matter anymore? He just wanted to settle down with Shepard, but convincing Jane to give up her career in the military was like asking her to cut of her left arm. Unaware of what he was doing, Kaidan automatically headed towards a bar down the street in full dress blues. God he needed a glass of good whiskey more than anything else right now. He sat down at the bar, ordered a glass of whiskey, and pulled out a small, black, velvet box from his pocket. He flipped the box open and stared at the engagement ring inside. It was the ring his dad gave to his mom, and the ring he hoped to put on Jane's finger. Kaidan's omni-tool rang, telling him he had an incoming call.

"Hello?" Kaidan answered

"Hi, Mr. Alenko? This is Vancouver Medical Hospital calling. We just wanted to update you and tell you that your wife's surgery went great, we don't know if it worked yet, but she should be waking up in a few hours." A peppy female voice replied.

"I think you might have the wrong number, I'm not married, and my girlfriend wasn't supposed to have surgery today." Kaidan said definitively. His heart was racing at the off chance that it was Jane who had surgery.

"I'm sorry, it was my mistake calling her your wife. But the patient name is Jane Alenko… She was operated on by a Miss Miranda Lawson. Miss Lawson is an excellent doctor and has been helping out greatly at all different hospitals after the war," The lady continued on.

"I'll be there soon," Kaidan said barely above a whisper. He swore his heart was beating out of his chest as he threw money on the bar counter and sprinted to get a taxi back to Vancouver. Why wouldn't she tell me she was getting surgery? She wouldn't have scheduled surgery just because of the incident yesterday, for she wouldn't want to appear weak, Kaidna thought to himself as he finally flagged down a transport taxi to take him to Vancouver.

"Get me to Vancouver Medical Hospital and step on it. Spectre business." Kaidan practically yelled at the driver, showing him that he was in fact a spectre with his ID. The taxi lurched forward and Kaidan began counting down the minutes until he would arrive at the hospital.

It took three hours for Kaidan to arrive back in Vancouver and make it to the hospital. He sprinted as fast as he could through the halls to the nurse's station.

"I'm looking for Jane Shep—I mean, Jane Alenko. I'm Major Kaidan Alenko."

"One moment please sir," The nurse said as she scrolled through the computer searching for the name. As soon as the nurse uttered out the room number, Kaidan was off running again towards her. When he reached her room, his heart started to return to normal. At least he could see her now, even if she was lying asleep on a hospital bed. He knew that she was alive. Kaidan sat down beside the bed holding her hand, wondering what the surgery was for, and why Miranda Lawson performed it. He squeezed Jane's hand and jolted in surprise when he got a soft squeeze back. Kaidan searched her face and saw as her eyes slowly opened.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" Jane's voice crackled out. Kaidan handed her a cup of water from the bedside table.

"The better question is what the hell is going on?" Kaidan said. Jane could hear the worry and frustration in his voice.

"I called Miranda and asked her to do repairs on my leg so I can walk again unaided. She knows my cybernetics better than anyone. I knew the risk, but after I woke up the first time, Miranda told me that the surgery was a success." Jane said smiling. Kaidan was shocked, but still had bits of anger not yet resolved.

"And why didn't you tell me about the surgery? I thought you were in trouble when I got a call from the hospital telling me that my "wife" was just out of surgery! And when did you decide to use my last name?" Kaidan fired off each question.

"If I told you about the surgery, you would have asked if there were risks. The risks with doing the surgery were pretty high and gruesome, and I knew you would stop me from coming to the hospital. And second, if I came and logged my name under 'Jane Shepard,' I would have every tabloid in the galaxy swarming the hospital right now." Jane said. She looked at Kaidan when she spoke her final sentence and saw hurt pass over his face.

"You never did give me an answer," Kaidan said quietly. Jane's head scrunched up as she tried to think of what he was talking about. "…about marrying me." Kaidan clarified. Jane didn't know how to explain herself.

"I was broken. Why would you want someone who can barely walk ten steps without shooting paining causing her to need to sit down? Why would you want to marry someone that most likely can't even conceive you a baby because of the trauma that I've endured? I push you away Kaidan, and you keep coming back like a wounded animal! Why don't you move on? Try with that doctor you dated while I was dead!" Jane ranted as she tried to hold her tears back. Kaidan was speechless at the confession she made, and flinched as she brought up her death.

"Your disabilities don't define you. The Commander Shepard I knew was strong, rash, confident and didn't question herself as much as you have been lately. You can barely look in the mirror without disgust, and I want to know why. You saved the galaxy from the Reapers. Wouldn't you come out stronger after surviving that?" Kaidan asked, holding one of her small hands in two of his own.

"I'm a killer! Not a savior!" Jane shouted in his face and tried to yank her hand away but with no luck.

"What are you talking about?" Kaidan demanded.

"To supposedly 'save' the galaxy I had to murder synthetic life! I took away the love of my best friend! Joker hasn't talked to me since the war ended! I ruin peoples' lives. I take the small things that they love and I crush it until it doesn't exist anymore." Jane yelled, the built up tears from anger, sadness, and frustration, finally breaking free. Kaidan instantly beat himself up for pushing Jane to the point of tears. She never cried; not even when Thane nor Anderson died did Jane shed a tear. Kaidan pushed the long red hair out of Jane's face.

"And we can recover the synthetic life that has been lost. Tali is working on both re-enabling the geth and restoring EDI to her full former glory. You had impossible choices and circumstances, and yet you still picked the right choice." Kaidan consoled. Jane moved over and allowed Kaidan to lye next to her on the bed. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her close into his side.

"The war is over. We will get through the nightmares and the injuries. But I just need you to answer one question, once and for all. It's either a yes or no, nothing else." Kaidan said, his tone serious but gentle.

"What?" Jane asked with her eyes closed as she took in the smell and feel of Kaidan.

"Will you marry me? Will you become Jane Alenko legally?" Kaidan said as he reached into his dress blues and pulled out the ring he had been playing with in the bar.

"Yes," Jane said smiling as Kaidan slid the ring onto her finger, where it would stay until their wedding day.

"I love you," Jane said once Kaidan had rested her hand back down on the bed. It was the precious moments when her commander mask had fallen, and she was just 'Jane' that Kaidan enjoyed the most.

"And I love you, till the end of time." Kaidan said back. He heard the doors open behind them, but both of them ignored

Author's Note: Sorry for such a late update to those who are following the story. I've been blocked on which way to take the story, and a little stuck on ideas. Any suggestions are greatly appreciated either inboxed to me or even in a review. I will try to update sooner, i know it drives me crazy when some stories I follow don't update for quite a few days! Thanks for reading!